It is a fairly common question to ask about genitalia and that needs to stop. The process is interesting if you ever look into it but it's a personal question you wouldn't ask people in general. So good to keep that in mind. I think Laverne Cox and Carmen Carrera had a similar talk when they were recently interviewed.
Yeah, it sounded much less rude in my head, but looking back, it obviously isn't a common thing one inquires to other people about, and is pretty much rude in every case, unless you're a medical professional and it's relevant.
Some blunders are understandable. They don't exactly teach trans issues 101 in school, and you'll even find argument within the trans community about what our identity means. Let me know if this helps...
The seat of identity is the brain. And for whatever reason (biological or chemical or social or spiritual), my brain is female. I know this because I have tried to wear a male role and a female role, and the female role is by far more comfortable. And once I began hormone therapy, everything just Worked in my brain for the first time since puberty began. I could feel all my emotions, and the depression and anxiety faded back significantly, and my body felt warm and comfortable, not clumsy and smelly and cold.
My body is the possession of my brain, so it's accurate to call it a female body, even if it has structures not associated with a typical female, or lacks some structures commonly associated with being female. Nearly 2% of the population, male and female, are born with atypical genitalia, after all, and you wouldn't call them agender for not fitting perfectly into "male" or "female" definitions. I don't have a uterus, but lots of women don't have uteri and you wouldn't describe their bodies as "not female" for the lack. My body needed some correction, but lots of people are born with congenital conditions that require correction; a heart murmur doesn't...
That is very,very helpful. This helps me "get it", thank you.
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I'm glad I can help further understanding.
Me too. I'm glad you're helping us get our heads around a difficult issue. If you haven't lived it, you can only guess what it must be like.
Let's face it, if you wanted to 'sex' a kitten or a puppy, you'd turn it upside down and check it's genitalia! That would be the answer!
Unless you had reason to believe otherwise, that would also be the answer for humans; the genitalia define your gender!
This wouldn't be the first time 'most people' would be wrong! Even when 'most people' thought the world was flat the truth was still the truth.
This is a difficult concept for most people, because the 'answer' is so obvious that it's hard to grasp that the 'obvious' is wrong.
That's why I read this thread; to help me understand. Thankyou.
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More GOOD trans representation in the media. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about it. She was upset because of the backlash Joss Whedon got for his inadvertently transphobic joke on Twitter and how it was unfair that people didn't take it as a joke.
I told her that that's all trans people are is A) the butt of the joke (Haha! She's actually a dude!) B) the victim (CSI etc) or C) violent mentally disturbed criminals (Silence of the Lambs)
To be made the butt of the joke by someone we considered an ally was exceptionally painful, and his "It was a joke, and if you didn't like it you can leave" response made it moreso.
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And once I began hormone therapy, everything just Worked in my brain for the first time since puberty began. I could feel all my emotions, and the depression and anxiety faded back significantly, and my body felt warm and comfortable, not clumsy and smelly and cold.
That was my experience as well, even on a very low initial dose of estrogen, and a middling dose of spiro (T-blocker). Within a few days, an almost physical discomfort, like a static or a low headache that I'd had all my life, lifted, and I could think more clearly, process emotions better, deal with stress more easily, and my body started to feel like it should. It was kind of great.
And it's still me, and still my body, it's just working more as it should, as good as it can after years of testosterone poisoning.
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Assistant Software Developer
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More GOOD trans representation in the media. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about it. She was upset because of the backlash Joss Whedon got for his inadvertently transphobic joke on Twitter and how it was unfair that people didn't take it as a joke.
I told her that that's all trans people are is A) the butt of the joke (Haha! She's actually a dude!) B) the victim (CSI etc) or C) violent mentally disturbed criminals (Silence of the Lambs)
To be made the butt of the joke by someone we considered an ally was exceptionally painful, and his "It was a joke, and if you didn't like it you can leave" response made it moreso.
I'm not sure it's been quite as worth the degree of anger I've heard on the issue. Joss has earned my ire for things I think deserve far more prominence than a crass, thoughtless one liner from twitter. At this point it's just one more thing. I appreciate his ability to write great dialogue. I wish he'd work on that when he's on the internet. Others disagree with me on that and I'm ok with that, but I couldn't join in on this one other than to say it was disappointing. Some people I saw were a lot more angry than I would expect and I didn't really understand the degree to which I saw the anger, anger I usually reserve for Ace Ventura and that Family Guy episode.
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B) the victim (CSI etc)
Also, as a side note, that CSI episode had two actual transgender women in it(Dr. Becky and Calpernia Addams), though the supposedly trans villain was cis and as I remember it, it specifically called out some bad behavior. I figured, by the end, it was mostly a wash, which was more or less a win in 2005 or whenever that particular episode came out. I went to a screening at someones house for it since we were all friends with Cal.
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I'm not sure it's been quite as worth the degree of anger I've heard on the issue. Joss has earned my ire for things I think deserve far more prominence than a crass, thoughtless one liner from twitter. At this point it's just one more thing. I appreciate his ability to write great dialogue. I wish he'd work on that when he's on the internet. Others disagree with me on that and I'm ok with that, but I couldn't join in on this one other than to say it was disappointing. Some people I saw were a lot more angry than I would expect and I didn't really understand the degree to which I saw the anger, anger I usually reserve for Ace Ventura and that Family Guy episode.
Personally, I didn't feel much anger over the joke itself, but when he responded with an absolute dismissal I was angry. Not "Ace Ventura" levels of angry, but still angry. His joke was ignorant and thoughtless. His response to criticism was upsetting.
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Yeah, the joke didn't bug me. I was disappointed but realized it was humor. Hurtful, ciscentric humor, but I got that it was a joke. It was his response to the people that told him it was hurtful that angered me. "If anyone thinks my honest opinion on anything involves the word 'peeny' they are free to unfollow me. No, really I insist". So you're told that your joke was hurtful and rather than apologize for it, you tell us to leave if we don't like it? Thanks.
Super news - My uncle's partner (I wish I could say husband (one day soon I hope)) got made a Member of the Order of Australia
The Order of Australia is an order of chivalry established by Elizabeth II, Queen of Australia, to recognise Australian citizens and other persons for achievement or for meritorious service. Before the establishment of the order. (from Wiki)
"Mr Baxter was given the award for his ‘significant service to the community as an advocate for people affected by and living with HIV/AIDS.’
"Australia's initial response to the HIV/AIDS crisis in the 1980s is rightly acknowledged today as a global benchmark - and Don was a key driver of that," Mr Lake said.
"By the time the epidemic hit Australia, Don had already spent a decade as an activist fighting for gay rights and was quick to understand the magnitude of the crisis. His grassroots activism and tireless advocacy helped convince governments across the country that this was a new kind of problem that demanded new kinds of responses."
From the AFAO. Link.
So proud - my dad is trying to talk my uncle into organising a party (not a hard task).
Congratulations to him! I hope the party goes well, too!
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Yeah, the joke didn't bug me. I was disappointed but realized it was humor. Hurtful, ciscentric humor, but I got that it was a joke. It was his response to the people that told him it was hurtful that angered me. "If anyone thinks my honest opinion on anything involves the word 'peeny' they are free to unfollow me. No, really I insist". So you're told that your joke was hurtful and rather than apologize for it, you tell us to leave if we don't like it? Thanks.
Well, again, I can see why he might have been angry that his flippant crass response caused a bunch of people to get mad at him. Especially if he feels he's pretty good about himself in regards to lgbt issues(derserved or not). He's a flawed human and he probably just felt put upon by someone giving more weight to something he said than he felt was warranted. A challenge response is still pretty stupid, but is it really worth the effort of more than a light explanation about why it's bad? I think most people understand that when you hurt someone you should apologize to them and maybe try to understand why they are hurt. But like you said, the first didn't make you mad but some people flipped their stuff over it and he rashly responded and did so poorly. Just too much other crap to care about than that guy. Don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
More GOOD trans representation in the media. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about it. She was upset because of the backlash Joss Whedon got for his inadvertently transphobic joke on Twitter and how it was unfair that people didn't take it as a joke.
I told her that that's all trans people are is A) the butt of the joke (Haha! She's actually a dude!) B) the victim (CSI etc) or C) violent mentally disturbed criminals (Silence of the Lambs)
To be made the butt of the joke by someone we considered an ally was exceptionally painful, and his "It was a joke, and if you didn't like it you can leave" response made it moreso.
I'm not sure it's been quite as worth the degree of anger I've heard on the issue. Joss has earned my ire for things I think deserve far more prominence than a crass, thoughtless one liner from twitter. At this point it's just one more thing. I appreciate his ability to write great dialogue. I wish he'd work on that when he's on the internet. Others disagree with me on that and I'm ok with that, but I couldn't join in on this one other than to say it was disappointing. Some people I saw were a lot more angry than I would expect and I didn't really understand the degree to which I saw the anger, anger I usually reserve for Ace Ventura and that Family Guy episode.
My feelings on the Whedon tweets are similar to Lissa's.
Why the references to Ace Ventura?
Oh...right. Einhorn.
I can honestly say I don't know what Whedon's point was or views were. And I choose not to. I learned that there will always be things about my favorite authors, on their personal lives, that I disagree with. As long as those things do not become the message of their works, I don't care.
It is not necessarily the best path... but it saves me stress.
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I can honestly say I don't know what Whedon's point was or views were. And I choose not to. I learned that there will always be things about my favorite authors, on their personal lives, that I disagree with. As long as those things do not become the message of their works, I don't care.
It is not necessarily the best path... but it saves me stress.
That is generally my philosophy as long as it is passive ignorance. When it becomes active hate, that's when I get on my high horse and avoid that persons stuff at all costs. I had forgotten about jelly belly's today and was reminded that I cannot eat them for that very reason. You don't me but that is difficult for me. Same with OSC. I can't honestly give money to anyone associated with that man knowing it will enrich him and he will give that money to someone who is actively trying to hurt me and my queer friends.
No works of OSC can be found in my house. That is all I can say of my opinion of the man without violating forum rules.
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California was suppose to have implemented a new law on January 1st that required recognition and support for gender dysphic students, to allow them to use appropriate facilities (bathrooms/lockerooms/etc).
I was in several teacher meetings in our district as they wrestled with their response to the issue and present solutions for our district and our campuses.
In general this meant designating restrooms which had individual stalls and doors for use by students who were stuck in transition, allowing all parties to 'feel safe', and not forcing the students transition onto any party until the student was comfortable presenting appropriate gender identity for themselves.
Unfortunately a conservative group in California has scared the citizendry of California and feel that the Governor has gone too far in supporting Transgender rights and providing support for those students struggling with this issue. It looks like they might have gathered enough signatures to place the issue on the ballot for this fall, and this has put the implementation of the Governors mandate on hold for many school districts throughout the state.
I am fortunate that the superintendent of our district is a good man and plans to continue the implementation of the policy in our district, feeling that promoting diversity and understanding in our typically conservative district in Orange County, Republican stronghold of Southern California is the right thing to do.
I am sure that he will get some grief from some elements of our local community base, but it is good to see good men do things for the right reason.
If the issue is certified and goes to the ballot for all of California, I hope that there are enough people of good heart to support the full implementation of Transgender rights throughout California. The results of such an initiative will be binding on the State Constitution and will be an important milestone for the state of California, and by proxy the nation.
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No works of OSC can be found in my house. That is all I can say of my opinion of the man without violating forum rules.See, I'll still own and read Xenocide. But never again Songmaster. And if you've ever read Treason... let's just say the guy seems a little conflicted and leave it there.
Not pointing fingers of shame, here; I refuse to have anything to do with Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman. Their "Rose of the Prophet" trilogy left me almost trembling-furious.
See, I remember it differently. It's been 25 years since I've read it but that was an important trilogy for me.
"Rose Of The Propeth?" Is that the late Dragonlance or unrelated?
Hmmm. Another world with 21 gods...
California was suppose to have implemented a new law on January 1st that required recognition and support for gender dysphic students, to allow them to use appropriate facilities (bathrooms/lockerooms/etc)...
.... It looks like they might have gathered enough signatures to place the issue on the ballot for this fall, and this has put the implementation of the Governors mandate on hold for many school districts throughout the state. ...
I was hoping the conservative signature drive would fail. Disappointing. When's the final signature tally due?
Thanks for the report from the ground, and for being trans-supportive. Sounds like you've got a good superintendent.
The Wisconsin State Journal just did a two part, front page feature this week on trans kids in local schools. The first one focuses largely on a girl who jumped off a building on State Street in Madison last fall, and the responses to that.
The second one is about someone transitioning in high school.
Both articles have a lot on the need for school districts to deal with this issue. There was also a side article reporting the results of a recent survey about LGBT youth in Dane County school districts. (Madison is in Dane County.) The results indicate that 1.5% of the county's students, or about 250 students, identify as transgender.
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California was suppose to have implemented a new law on January 1st that required recognition and support for gender dysphic students, to allow them to use appropriate facilities (bathrooms/lockerooms/etc).
I was in several teacher meetings in our district as they wrestled with their response to the issue and present solutions for our district and our campuses.
In general this meant designating restrooms which had individual stalls and doors for use by students who were stuck in transition, allowing all parties to 'feel safe', and not forcing the students transition onto any party until the student was comfortable presenting appropriate gender identity for themselves.Unfortunately a conservative group in California has scared the citizendry of California and feel that the Governor has gone too far in supporting Transgender rights and providing support for those students struggling with this issue. It looks like they might have gathered enough signatures to place the issue on the ballot for this fall, and this has put the implementation of the Governors mandate on hold for many school districts throughout the state.
I am fortunate that the superintendent of our district is a good man and plans to continue the implementation of the policy in our district, feeling that promoting diversity and understanding in our typically conservative district in Orange County, Republican stronghold of Southern California is the right thing to do.
I am sure that he will get some grief from some elements of our local community base, but it is good to see good men do things for the right reason.
If the issue is certified and goes to the ballot for all of California, I hope that there are enough people of good heart to support the full implementation of Transgender rights throughout California. The results of such an initiative will be binding on the State Constitution and will be an important milestone for the state of California, and by proxy the nation.
The transgender students right act AB1266 did go into effect, but conservative groups have been trying to muddy the waters by releasing press releases to the contrary. The full count for their ballot initiative is still underway, but that doesn't prevent the law from going into effect and, last time I checked the numbers, too many of their signatures were turning out to be fraudulent for their initiative to be placed on the ballot.
But as a student who took a lot of s%*@ for her gender, thank you for standing up and trying to do the right thing.
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On a more positive note, news from Maine regarding transgender students.
“[The school] agreed with Susan’s family and counselors that, for this purpose (as for virtually all others), Susan is a girl. Based upon its determination that Susan is a girl, and in keeping with the information provided to the school by Susan’s family, her therapists, and experts in the field of transgender children, the school determined that Susan should use the girls’ bathroom."
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Found this comic strip and thought it was nice, the artist Humon is very Pro LGBT. :3
Found this comic strip and thought it was nice, the artist Humon is very Pro LGBT. :3
Go Denmark! :-D
(the artist (female) is Danish too)Note: While Denmark has progressed fairly far concerning LGBT issues (we started out by being the first country to legally recognize same-sex couples through registered partnerships), there are still a few trans* issues that needs to be changed/torn down around here.
See, I remember it differently. It's been 25 years since I've read it but that was an important trilogy for me.No works of OSC can be found in my house. That is all I can say of my opinion of the man without violating forum rules.See, I'll still own and read Xenocide. But never again Songmaster. And if you've ever read Treason... let's just say the guy seems a little conflicted and leave it there.
Not pointing fingers of shame, here; I refuse to have anything to do with Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman. Their "Rose of the Prophet" trilogy left me almost trembling-furious.
wha? If not for Weiss and Hickman I probably wouldn't be on these boards. I love dragonlance. What happened in this book?
Sorry, I don't mean to keep posting on the bathroom issue, but since it's one of the current front lines for trans rights, here's bad news from Utah.
Sorry, I don't mean to keep posting on the bathroom issue, but since it's one of the current front lines for trans rights, here's bad news from Utah.
That has all sorts of unfortunate implications, as the definition it uses could easily be called upon by other laws to eventually form a legal code denying that being trans is real.
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Sorry, I don't mean to keep posting on the bathroom issue, but since it's one of the current front lines for trans rights, here's bad news from Utah.
So much hate for this crap.
Also, the bathroom issue has been the number #1 public issue as far back as I and my predecessors could think of, so we're still fighting that battle.
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Sorry, I don't mean to keep posting on the bathroom issue, but since it's one of the current front lines for trans rights, here's bad news from Utah.
The "bathroom scare" concept just needs to die in a fire. Trans people are FAR more likely to be assaulted by cis people than the other way around, and hateful legislation like this will only increase that violence.
But I suppose that's the point of hostile legislation like this: To exterminate us socially and physically.
Also, the bathroom issue has been the number #1 public issue as far back as I and my predecessors could think of, so we're still fighting that battle.
Oh, sorry, didn't mean to say this was something new (or that people haven't fought against it in the past). I just meant that there seems to be a lot of legislation and various court rulings on the issue these days (CA, ME, now UT, AZ a little while ago).
Edit to add: And yeah, very angering, all of this. The local newspaper article on this bill also includes this bit:
The bill specifically states that gender does not mean an individual's own opinion on their gender.
Which, it seems to me, greatly diminishes what trans people go through to figure out who we are.
Also edit to add: According to that second article, the bill might not move forward. Apparently, the conservative legislature doesn't want to deal with any other LGBT bills for the time being in case it negatively affects the upcoming marriage court case.
KSF, I bet it's intended to have that effect.
Given the overall wording of it, I would say this is a beachhead law. Basically, intended to be part of a series of laws that eventually try to completely isolate trans people.
If this one doesn't get struck down, I'm willing to bet they'll pass others and argue those others are legal because this one is.
KSF, I bet it's intended to have that effect.
Given the overall wording of it, I would say this is a beachhead law. Basically, intended to be part of a series of laws that eventually try to completely isolate trans people.
If this one doesn't get struck down, I'm willing to bet they'll pass others and argue those others are legal because this one is.
Yeah, probably. Hopefully, there'll be more court rulings like the one in Maine to counter this sort of stuff.
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Swinging back into more positive territory, here's the Washington Post coverage of the Maine Supreme Court ruling that supports transgender bathroom rights.
Good to see this getting coverage in a national paper.
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The ACLU and four Wisconsin couples (two in Milwaukee, one in Eau Claire and one in Madison) filed a lawsuit today to challenge the state's same-sex marriage ban.
I do have a fun question for people on here...
How does one determine the gender and sexuality of someone who has multiple personalities, with each gender and personality having its own separate gender and sexual identity?
To make it even more fun, let's say the personalities combine together to form a coherent singular persona they use to interact with the rest of the world, with that persona being a composite of their individual traits.
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The ACLU and four Wisconsin couples (two in Milwaukee, one in Eau Claire and one in Madison) filed a lawsuit today to challenge the state's same-sex marriage ban.
That should be interesting to watch. Wisconsin is a weird state politically.
Blame the Norwegians.