You're...serious? Alaskan tie-dye? Elucidate.
Cheeseweasel, that's awesome that you got the job you wanted in the place you wanted it. That doesn't happen often enough to people.
On another note, a friend of mine has suggested that I give my alter ego a birthday different from mine but I have no idea how to choose a birthday. Any suggestions? The only thing is that it can't be in the summer because that's actually when my birthday is and I don't want the winter because it would be too difficult for people to get together since many of my friends work retail.
That's very precise. I was more thinking of how to come up with a birthday instead of someone coming up with one for me. 1973 actually makes me 2 years younger too!
I'm gonna be honest, and if I offend anyone, I sincerely apologize, because I do not intend to be hurtful.
But assigning a birthday to an alter ego sounds creepy to me. Like on the way to developing a dissociative disorder creepy (not that I think that's how that happens, but still). It wasn't your idea, Bob, so I am not saying you are creepy or on your way to a dissociative disorder.
Maybe this is actually a common thing, however, and I am overreacting or simply am ignorant of how these things work. (If the latter, enlighten me, please! I am serious.)
And that said, if you're going to do it, I think picking a zodiac sign as Cheeseweasel indicates kind of makes sense. "Gemini" for a dual nature would make sense, but you don't want summer (plus Geminis are the best. ). But if you want spring and fall, choices would be Pisces, Aries, Taurus and Virgo, Libra, Sagittarius.
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What I did and I used to celebrate it more (not like a real birthday though), but it still holds a significant date to me.
I came out in Jan of 2005, told my spouse in Feb (She figured it out on Valentines day just because I was acting odd and she could read me)
I told my children a few months latter after I did some personal counselling as well as with my spouse.
I went FT in my transition on March 21, 2006. it was the Spring Equinox that year. I had woke up one morning about a month earlier and it just dawned on me to use that date.
To me it represented a lot about me. I am Pagan and the Spring Equinox is the day of re-birth. So on March 21st I went full time.
Now is it a Birthday? NO, but is a RE-Birthday. A day I can look at and measure how long I have been on this journey for others and medical.
How you pick it is up to you and needs to be a part of you IF you want it to mean something to you or to record information.
How others do it, I cannot say. I've had many a friend transition and each has a way they decided but it is personal to them and them only or maybe to their family.
In no way is my RE-Birthday for an alternate ego. It is for ME because there is Only me not a old me and a new me. They are the same person, just different genders or aspects of me of me through different times of my life. But in some ways the old me is dead because I changed more than just my gender. I changed my outlook on life and became an honest person where as before i was not honest to myself or anyone else.
Thanks for sharing that, IceniQueen. That perspective helps me understand a lot better. The idea of rebirth makes a lot of sense.
In fact, I can see how having a rebirthday for any variety of reasons could even be quite healing.
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So some old friends showed up out of nowhere a while a go. Haven't seen one since middle school(call him AB) and the other(CW) since early high school. Turns out their a couple now. AB admitted to having a crush on me all along too, which I never knew.
Through these guys, I've met up with another friend I haven't seen in a few years.
Pretty decent fun for the last few weeks/month or so. :)
My friend thought that having a separate birthday would be fun and might help me with thinking about my alter ego more. I hadn't thought about it being creepy but I can see how it can come across that way.
I had thought about making it a day that would be important to my alter ego but there really isn't anything that important. I came out on my birthday. I haven't really had the time or opportunity to get out much.
The more I think about it, the more I think that it may not be necessary.
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I personally don't think but this is me that Alter Ego is really the term you want. using that term designates a form of mental illness/Or a Comic book character. Gender Dysphoria used to be in the DSM IV but has since been removed from DSM V. And any TG (that includes Cross dressers, Transvestites, Transexuals, and others) and none of us will ever admit to having a mental problem because we do not.
Studies prove that it is a genetic problem. So saying Alter ego makes it look like Clark Kent/Superman, Bruce Wayne/Batman Peter Parker/Spiderman and we are none of these.
The better way to look at it is as it is you expressing a side of your personality and emotions. And the day you came out to the world would be the best day to Celebrate.
Just my 1/2 pence
I personally don't think but this is me that Alter Ego is really the term you want. using that term designates a form of mental illness/Or a Comic book character. Gender Dysphoria used to be in the DSM IV but has since been removed from DSM V. And any TG (that includes Cross dressers, Transvestites, Transexuals, and others) and none of us will ever admit to having a mental problem because we do not.
Studies prove that it is a genetic problem. So saying Alter ego makes it look like Clark Kent/Superman, Bruce Wayne/Batman Peter Parker/Spiderman and we are none of these.
The better way to look at it is as it is you expressing a side of your personality and emotions. And the day you came out to the world would be the best day to Celebrate.
Just my 1/2 pence
First, I would rather be a super hero so thanks for shattering that dream...
Second, you're right about it not being a mental illness. I just haven't found a way that conveys both sides of me that is clear to my friends that don't understand but are supportive.
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Bob, that is a real tough one. Making people understand how you feel is really nothing you can do but to be open, honest and let them know they can ask questions. All you can do is be you and to be honest to yourself first and foremost.
There was hardly a person in all of my family (aunts, uncles cousins, parents, spouse, siblings, children and even therapists not related) that understood what I was feeling or going through. My sister in time became supportive because she decided to educate herself and talk to people. My mom still does not understand and still really does not accept (uses wrong pronouns even after 6 years of me being FT). The way I finally got my mom to even start to understand? Talking to her and her seeing me as I am and need to be seen.
I have a GF and she is very dear to me who deals with the same thing on her transition.
SO what needs to happen is they need to come to terms. Be YOU and who YOU want to be. If they cannot handle it, then do you need them as friends? Talk to them, educate them, offer them books or web sites or documentaries. Find a support group and talk if you have not. Talk to others going through what you are that you can talk to face to face helps a ton.
When you get down to it, it is what matters to you most. If they are going to be supportive, then they will. If not, then they are not friends.
OH and I always wanted to be Wonder Woman... but I'm more like She-Hulk in hulk form :-P
My friends and most of my family are supportive even though they don't really understand. Part of it may be that I don't understand either. I don't want to be a woman. I just like dressing like one and spending quality time with men when I do. But I also enjoy being a man and spending quality time with women. Exploring who I am and trying to explain it so that people understand is something new to me. I just wish there was a simple way to explain it. The good news is that they have almost all been supportive. Those who haven't, haven't tried to prevent me from being myself. They just haven't offered any type of support. I've been rather lucky about that.
She-hulk is awesome. Loved her in the 80s cheesecake comic, loved the more recent but still cheesecake comic. LOVED her defense of Starfox, that was a fascinating look at powers that work on a subconscious level.
I apologize for interjecting in an awesome conversation, but I do want to say:
OH and I always wanted to be Wonder Woman... but I'm more like She-Hulk in hulk form :-P
A) She-Hulk is HAWT. Get ye green body paint on, girl, stat. ;)
B) I always wanted to be Wonder Woman, but I'm more like Etta Candy in form. So you've got one up on me.
I apologize for interjecting in an awesome conversation, but I do want to say:
OH and I always wanted to be Wonder Woman... but I'm more like She-Hulk in hulk form :-PA) She-Hulk is HAWT. Get ye green body paint on, girl, stat. ;)
B) I always wanted to be Wonder Woman, but I'm more like Etta Candy in form. So you've got one up on me.
nonsense. You looked lovely in that one (admittedly small and a bit grainy) picture of you I saw. Get your sparkly star spangled bottom one piece swimsuit on and fight crime, you.
I never said I wasn't lovely. But 6 foot tall ripped Amazon I am not. :)
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Well, if the conversation is about female hero's... I wore a She-Ra mask around for fun for a few days. I didn't like the Skeletor mask, and the Frankenstein mask was for Halloween in my mind. I was six, and had a blast.
Now, if it's a hero I'd like to be... Green Lantern/Dr. Strange. Oooh, or both!
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I am a 6' tall Amazon. Natural hair is dark brown almost black but it is red and has been for a few years cause my BF loves it that way. When I wear heals which is 75% of the time I tower over him. He's pushing 5'10" and with me in 2 - 3" heels typically? I feel like a Super model to their BF or spouse. Funny when we shoot bows I shoot a 55# he shots a #45. My bow wears him out. And no my breasts do not get in the way, so this Amazon has all natural C's BOTH of them :-D
I am in NO way Hawt as She hulk, not even close just have the size of her. Though I am passable with no surgery. But I'm no Hawtie
Bob - the common term of that is Cross Dresser not that it really needs to be called anything, it is you and a beautiful part of you that some people can fear, or hate.
One of my best friends actually started out that way. Since then she decided she wants to fully transition if she can. Some people don't ever want too change their gender and just live in the role of a female, others like both aspects. I can respect that being that I am Bi, I just want to be as feminine as I can and be with feminine women and masculine or caring men. Currently I'm with a guy who knows, accepts and is my equal. He drives me nuts but I love him. We've been together for 6 years and lived together for over 4. My only complaint, he will not commit beyond BF/GF. His belief is why ask until we can get married which in Colorado cannot happen, though civil unions will come to be soon I believe.
I'm happy to hear you have supportive family and friends. That makes a HUGE difference.
Thinks: Who's She-Hulk?
(One quick Google search later)
Oh.
Thinks: Who's Etta Candy?
(One quick Google search later)
Oh.
My knowledge of She-Hulk is limited to having her on the team in Marvel: Avengers Alliance game.
I am a 6' tall Amazon. Natural hair is dark brown almost black but it is red and has been for a few years cause my BF loves it that way. When I wear heals which is 75% of the time I tower over him. He's pushing 5'10" and with me in 2 - 3" heels typically? I feel like a Super model to their BF or spouse. Funny when we shoot bows I shoot a 55# he shots a #45. My bow wears him out. And no my breasts do not get in the way, so this Amazon has all natural C's BOTH of them :-D.
This is a great day.
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I am a 6' tall Amazon. Natural hair is dark brown almost black but it is red and has been for a few years cause my BF loves it that way. When I wear heals which is 75% of the time I tower over him. He's pushing 5'10" and with me in 2 - 3" heels typically? I feel like a Super model to their BF or spouse. Funny when we shoot bows I shoot a 55# he shots a #45. My bow wears him out. And no my breasts do not get in the way, so this Amazon has all natural C's BOTH of them :-D.This is a great day.
Why? Because I admit to being Amazon. ;-)
You look amazing in that ren garb (if slightly perturbed at the photographer). :)
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LOL That was my BF taking pics and I was being Sassy to him. He is always Like SMILE, SMILE and then makes me laugh and I look dorky.
Yeah that dress is one of my many. it is based on Dangerous Liasons the movie. I have a blue one that is a spitting image of the blue on Veronica wears in the movie.
I have a dress based on Katherine Parr (Henry VIII last wife) another that is Katherine of Aragon (Henry VIII 1st wife with gabled hood) An Elizabethan that is 6 dresses in 1. A copper and black Elizabethan, Pirate garb, peasant garb and always getting more.
OH and Thanks. I try to look good, but like any female I struggle and think I don't look good
For a moment there, I thought you were done up like your avatar.
Cute pic (the renn one). That dress is beautiful. A little jealous. I can't wear corsets anymore thanks to a broken rib that healed at a funny angle. I have a lovely gypsy/slave girl (depends on how I tie the scarves and what accessories) outfit that I got as a replacement, but I still looks longingly at the beautiful brocade dresses. :)
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For a moment there, I thought you were done up like your avatar.
LOL I am a red head now
Cute pic (the renn one). That dress is beautiful. A little jealous. I can't wear corsets anymore thanks to a broken rib that healed at a funny angle. I have a lovely gypsy/slave girl (depends on how I tie the scarves and what accessories) outfit that I got as a replacement, but I still looks longingly at the beautiful brocade dresses. :)
Corsets can be tough to wear, but I love them even my Victorian and modern ones. A Tudor and Elizabethan corse is much different. They do not squeeze you in and make you hourglass shaped. The desired effect back then was to make you cylindrical and flatten the breasts. But all of us woman that do faires as cast, staff or playtrons (those that dress up and play) like to "Fluff" and push them up and make them bigger than some really are to show cleavage. Men love it. But if you did that in the late 1400's to 1600's and beyond, you'd get a bad label and it could mean a burning was in your future
I do love corsets, yes.
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I'd have to agree that Iceniqueen does look good. I'd have done a double take and not because I "clocked" her.
If I may digress a bit, recently my wife was looking at corsets for regular wear to give herself a figure (for medical reasons she lost and other options were not feasible). She was looking at retail stores such as VS, Target, Halloween stuff and spanx. I said to her, you know there are advantages to having a CD husband, mind if I offer the benefit of my research and steer you to better options? We made a reservation (past Tues) at a corsetry seamstress. From her gallery of photos and styles, she clearly was GLBT friendly but I had to stay focused for this was my wife's appointment. Tried on a few items and figured out what would be best. She settled on a style, got to pick the color and fabric. Measurements were made and now we wait. Should be worth it. The quality difference from retail is obvious.
We now return you to your regular thread discussion.
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I hope that is a compliment. I never liked that term "Clocked" to me it is like being "Clocked upside the head" or being struck. It is never a good thing to be clocked as it means you've been read, or someone can tell you are TG which is something NONE in the community want. We all want to just pass and live life like normal and be treated normal and to be considered the gender we are or see ourselves in.
I personally am very private I tell very few unless I want to and feel they can handle or accept it. Even work the only reason HR knew was when I got insurance and they offered it for same sex partners I had to tell them. All records including the medical database we use show me and have always showed me as female. But when you get to the legal of it all to get him insurance I had to tell a few people at work. Of course we already lived together, had a car together, and just need to have a savings/checking together to make it all legal by work standards and Domestic Partnership.
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That second line did come off a bit awkwardly worded. I was trying to be concise. Lets try that again. [ahem] I'd have done a double take, not because I clocked her, cuz I didn't but because she looked good and I'd kill for that dress. [/ahem]
Better?
And FWIW, I cannot pass. Only once was I not clocked. I aim for "Presentable". I try to do that with confidence.
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I personally am very private I tell very few unless I want to and feel they can handle or accept it. Even work the only reason HR knew was when I got insurance and they offered it for same sex partners I had to tell them. All records including the medical database we use show me and have always showed me as female. But when you get to the legal of it all to get him insurance I had to tell a few people at work. Of course we already lived together, had a car together, and just need to have a savings/checking together to make it all legal by work standards and Domestic Partnership.
Ugh. That process of getting domestic partnership benefits is dreadful. When I was with my ex, no matter how much paperwork I had, it was never enough, as if I was making it up or something. One year we actually gave up.
I hope I never have to do that again. I mean that: Thanks to the great state of New York, the next time I need to put someone on my insurance, I plan on it being a husband, not a partner. :)
And there she is. With Wonder Woman. And two zebra girls. And some whips. In a 1930's children's comic. Um.
Wonder Woman's creator, who also invented the lie detector, was quite into bondage and used the comic to promote his interests in it and strong women both. He modeled her on his wife and their +1. The two women lived together for around forty years after his death, until the first of them died.
It's possibly the only incidence of a Golden Age comic actually being intended to "corrupt" the youth by its author.
Golden Age stuff wasn't nearly as squeaky clean as people made it out to be.
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That second line did come off a bit awkwardly worded. I was trying to be concise. Lets try that again. [ahem] I'd have done a double take, not because I clocked her, cuz I didn't but because she looked good and I'd kill for that dress. [/ahem]
Better?
And FWIW, I cannot pass. Only once was I not clocked. I aim for "Presentable". I try to do that with confidence.
I had a nice reply all typed out and then Paizo went down
:-(Thanks RNB I appreciate that.
yeah the dress is beautiful. it was custom made by a friend in Minnesota that does historical clothing. Mind you I like in Colorado and we do it long distance. She does great work most of the time but i will admit, this dress and it's counter where a MAJOR pain in the arse. The breeches for it where just a wee bit small (or at least with the way she had them fasten, yet when On where to big. Got that corrected. The straps where not right either and had to be redone by me. It's blue counter part that is exactly like the blue dress Veronica wears in Dangerous beauty was a night mare. The breeches again to small (not that I gained weight, I lost it) and now are to big after sent back but I did not want to fuss. The top the straps where a major pain even after sending it back and still are. I ended up fixing them myself with my BF's help.
I was suppose to have the dresses by the middle of April I got them middle of may 2 weeks before Renaissance faire and did not get to wear the orange opening weekend after rush shipping and fixes. The blue took until last weekend of fair (8 weeks) before I could even think on wearing it. But once I did it got the total WOW factor.
The Orange or Pumpkin pie as the silk color is called is a dupioni silk and shimmers in the sun. I never ever wore orange before I always hated the color. But I am told that is my color with my skin tone and hair. Never thunked it :-)I always thought Black was my color
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Wanted to add something about the term "Clocked " (shivers to that word) or Read.
My experience part of getting (shivers) Clocked or read is the voice. The human voice range for both male and female has a spot that is the same. Call it middle C on a keyboard and a few keys in either direction. When you try to "pass" as female if you sound like Clint Eastwood your going to get read and sir'd. But if you can manage to sound like say Kathleen Turner you can pull it off easier.
I know people I'll not call them friends because they are just people I know from doing support groups that have transitioned all the way. Some still use their "Male voice" It does not help that they don't dress the part well either but that male voice will get you read most of the time.
I was lucky. being a musician and someone that did voice impersonations, it was easier for me than some. Not that I am perfect cause I'm not. When I am tired, sick, overly relaxed (around people I know well, or being lazy) my voice register lowers and I get sired more. When I try I sound very feminine but normal register I pass as female in conversation the majority of the time (like 95%). Rarely do I get sired on the phone and I once had someone say "Sir" and I corrected them and they apologized saying they just say that on the phone to everyone male or female like saying Dude to girls (hate that one too).
Now I mentioned how you dress. I have seen more often that not many TG (CD, TS, or other) that go out in public dressing in clothing NO female in her right mind would wear. The spiky pumps, frilly blouse, short tight skirt. Yeah they can be fun and feminine but be real, look at how women dress while shopping or out at dinner or work.
For me I studied woman long and hard. How they walked, moved, dressed, spoke, talked, the hole nine yards (Malls are/where a good spot to people watch and learn) Once again I know people who while the clothing they wear is feminine, no female would wear the clothing they wear. For me I wanted to try and blend in. Being 6 foot tall, broad shoulder amazon made me stand out more so learning how to talk and dress where keys in passing in public and not having people (Shivers) Clock or read me.
A funny story... One night I went out with two office mates to see the band Skid Row. I had not transitioned yet but I was out at work. They all knew about me and what the future held for me. As We drank beer and chatted, one said There is no way you will ever pass as a female. Your height, build, appearance, you'll be the ugglist woman inthe world. The other guy nodded in agreement. I turned and pointed to a woman and said "Look, she is taller than me. Look at her she has as broad as shoulders as me, that one is heavier and as tall as me, that one has a square jaw and masculine face, that one has small breasts. I kept this up for about 10 minutes. When I finished both said "Thanks, you just ruined how we look at women and now we see what you see, the flaws that make them look like they do. You might just be able to pull this off!"
Made me feel good. Even today I do this. I look and compare. Yup she is taller, she is as broad of shouldered, she is masculine, etc.
Hope this sheds a little light
OH and if you ever have questions, ask. I'll be open and honest and willing to offer advise as much as I can.
I have no idea what the word means in the context of which you speak.
And there she is. With Wonder Woman. And two zebra girls. And some whips. In a 1930's children's comic. Um.Wonder Woman's creator, who also invented the lie detector, was quite into bondage and used the comic to promote his interests in it and strong women both. He modeled her on his wife and their +1. The two women lived together for around forty years after his death, until the first of them died.
It's possibly the only incidence of a Golden Age comic actually being intended to "corrupt" the youth by its author.
First, he only invented the blood pressure apparatus that helps make a lie detector work. He didn't invent the whole thing.
Second, I think saying he used the comic to "promote bondage" is a little off the mark, although certainly however there were a lot of bondage themes apparent. OTOH, Wonder Woman was not the only comic that had some rather suggestive material in it. :) And I sincerely doubt William Moulton Marston was the only author who used his comic book as a means of venting and sharing his personal believes. He absolutely had a lot of very strong ideas he wanted to get out there, though.
</wonder woman nerd>
Sorry, please get back to your discussion of LGBT gamers.
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I have no idea what the word means in the context of which you speak.
If you mean Clocked... it is a term used to say that you have been read OR that someone knows that you are not the gender you are portraying/presenting as. It often times refers to someone who is trying to pass in public. Or knowing that you are not a female when you are a male or vice versa. In the TG community it has a very negative meaning and being read is a more appropriate term. Clocked is like, saying "The man clocked me upside the head to get my attention", or "He clocked me a good one with his fist"
Another bad thing is to refer to someone in the TG community as Trannie. While that community might use that term, it is frowned upon if others not of the community use the term (NOT GLBTI, but TG). It is better to refer to them as they want to be seen, Female/Male, Girl/Boy She/He, Her/Him i.e correct pronouns and not some term. Trannie is not a work you hear ou of my mouth or many others though I have heard a lot of drag queens (DQ's) and female impersonators refer to someone like me as Trannie. That is a quick way to lose my respect. I guess kind of like using the N word.
I've learned more here about being part of the community than I have by actually trying to be part of the community. Thank you everyone who has been informative. Yes, I am actually taking notes.
I have no idea what the word means in the context of which you speak.If you mean Clocked... it is a term used to say that you have been read OR that someone knows that you are not the gender you are portraying/presenting as. It often times refers to someone who is trying to pass in public. Or knowing that you are not a female when you are a male or vice versa. In the TG community it has a very negative meaning and being read is a more appropriate term. Clocked is like, saying "The man clocked me upside the head to get my attention", or "He clocked me a good one with his fist"
Another bad thing is to refer to someone in the TG community as Trannie. While that community might use that term, it is frowned upon if others not of the community use the term (NOT GLBTI, but TG). It is better to refer to them as they want to be seen, Female/Male, Girl/Boy She/He, Her/Him i.e correct pronouns and not some term. Trannie is not a work you hear ou of my mouth or many others though I have heard a lot of drag queens (DQ's) and female impersonators refer to someone like me as Trannie. That is a quick way to lose my respect. I guess kind of like using the N word.
This is new information to me. I've heard the term trannie used by many transgendered/transsexual individuals before, but always in a joshing sense with each other or when they were looking for porn. I thought it might be a pejorative, so I never used it, although whenever transgendered/transsexual people were talking to me it was always in a joking sense- I radiate straight, or so I have been told, so I'm often a target for sport. I don't take offense at it, at least not anymore. Still, I will never use the term if it's so offensive.