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I'm trying to hit both PaizoCon and GenCon this year. Going to be rough, but at least the room and flight are already reserved for PaizoCon...
Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?
The same place cis women do, I would imagine.
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Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?
The biggest problem you might find is as you get larger, the lengths also get longer...or that could be a plus.
The best place for finding women's clothes on a budget depends on where you are. I would say thrift stores. Especially if you can find one in a more well to do area, you can find clothes that are rather nice for much lower prices.
You'll want to go to a bigger thrift store (Goodwill sometimes has mega stores) as your chances of finding good clothes that fit are higher. The smaller stores may not have anything.
(I get a lot of clothes from thrift stores and outlet stores...some may find that ridiculous, but I find it saves a LOT of money).
It helps if you know someone who sews...you can then probably find things that may be oversized and have it tailored down to your size.
I get all my clothes from outlet stores, slippers from factory stores, my watch from Argos, books from my local charity store and so on. You could also try an Internet store.
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Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?
Well, I don't know a lot about being MtF, but I do know a lot about shopping for plus size women's clothes. So here's what advice I have. First off, no matter where you shop try things on. Sizing conventions vary wildly from store to store. Wildly. It's not you, it's them. Do not let it discourage you.
Thrift stores are the best for a very tight budget, but can be best utilized if you can sew. If not, no worries, you can still do minor alterations with the help of fusible interface tape and an iron. It's great for hems or for taking in a seam.If you have a small but not quite as tight budget, I recommend Old Navy and Target as the next best options.
Next step up from that would be Lane Bryant and Torrid. Not cheap, but very nice stuff. And can be affordable if you catch the right sales.
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Lane Bryant is always having sales on their bread and butter lines of clothing. I find it is my goto for business casual and for jeans, which covers most of my needs.
Second on make sure you try them on before buying. It will save many a hassle on returns and back and forths to the store.
Second, Lane Bryant will give an additional discount if you take out a LB Credit Card, and sign up for their mailing/email list. (as I said they are always having sales).
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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I don't have any first hand experience in that area, but depending on size and item of clothing, Forever 21 might also have a couple of options? I don't really know what their range is size-wise for a given garment, but I've found some surprisingly good prices there before, and I see some fat women's cute outfit posts list F21 among the clothing sources (although the more common sources are the ones outlined above).
This may sound like an odd question, apologies in advance if it seems awkward.
What would be considered 'gender-neutral' clothing?
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Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?
If you're in the Seattle area, friends recommend Two Big Blondes.
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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I guess gender neutral clothing would be anything that's not strictly coded as being for a particular gender. But there's a catch: within a binary construction of gender, the female gender is "marked" as the variation while the male gender is portrayed as the default/normal. So even though anyone can wear a plain t-shirt without transgressing gender norms, there are two distinct cuts of t-shirt: regular, and women's. So while a lot of plain clothes like pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc., are relatively free from gender-specific barriers, someone who appears male in the gender binary still gets their clothes read as "male". This is mutable, since the idea of women wearing pants used to be much more taboo.
I feel like really the only clothes that are distinctly non-gendered are things that can be described as "unisex". Things that serve much more utilitarian purposes like a mechanic's jumpsuit. Also, you know those Velcro covered jumpsuits that you put on so you can jump against a big Velcro covered inflatable bounce house wall? That's something I'd consider gender neutral. In conclusion, I guess I'd assert that the only gender neutral clothing is that clothing which serves really specific utilitarian or novel uses (foam fingers?). Otherwise, there is a strong social function of clothing that conveys gendered social meaning of some kind. Even "t-shirt and jeans with sneakers" carries information about gender, social status, formality, (etc. ?)
This is also a completely separate thing from androgynous clothing, which is a whole other tricky category.
Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?If you're in the Seattle area, friends recommend Two Big Blondes.
-.- I'm in San Francisco. I'm technically supposed to say something snobby at the mention of our rival, but I don't actually care that much.
Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?Well, I don't know a lot about being MtF, but I do know a lot about shopping for plus size women's clothes. So here's what advice I have. First off, no matter where you shop try things on. Sizing conventions vary wildly from store to store. Wildly. It's not you, it's them. Do not let it discourage you.
Thrift stores are the best for a very tight budget, but can be best utilized if you can sew. If not, no worries, you can still do minor alterations with the help of fusible interface tape and an iron. It's great for hems or for taking in a seam.
If you have a small but not quite as tight budget, I recommend Old Navy and Target as the next best options.
Next step up from that would be Lane Bryant and Torrid. Not cheap, but very nice stuff. And can be affordable if you catch the right sales.
We have Target and Old Navy near Market St, and we have thrift stores around the Castro. Also Goodwill at West Portal. I've never heard of a Lane Bryant or Torrid. California things?
I can't work a needle in thread, and I have neither space nor money for a sewing machine (space being the bigger concern by far).
We have Target and Old Navy near Market St, and we have thrift stores around the Castro. I've never heard of a Lane Bryant or Torrid. California things?Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?Well, I don't know a lot about being MtF, but I do know a lot about shopping for plus size women's clothes. So here's what advice I have. First off, no matter where you shop try things on. Sizing conventions vary wildly from store to store. Wildly. It's not you, it's them. Do not let it discourage you.
Thrift stores are the best for a very tight budget, but can be best utilized if you can sew. If not, no worries, you can still do minor alterations with the help of fusible interface tape and an iron. It's great for hems or for taking in a seam.
If you have a small but not quite as tight budget, I recommend Old Navy and Target as the next best options.
Next step up from that would be Lane Bryant and Torrid. Not cheap, but very nice stuff. And can be affordable if you catch the right sales.
They are both chains. I don't know about Lane Bryant in California, but I know Torrid has a few locations out there. Might not be close to where you are now. You can always try the store locator on their website. But it looks like you have enough good options that you might not need it.
As mentioned above forever 21 is also a good option if you have one near. I forgot about it because it's not my style. Well, that's sort of true. Mostly I have a problem with cheap, scratchy fabrics. But if you are not cursed with hypsensitive skin then you can get a lot of cute looking stuff for cheap. :)Edit: if a sewing machine is a no go, definitely get some fusible tape for hems and stuff. No sewing required and the results are just as good. I can sew really well and I still use the tape as a shortcut sometimes. If you want to get more creative with iron ons you can get fusible interfacing by the sheet as well.
Man, I really do want to go to PaizoCon. Perhaps I can convince my gf to move to Seattle, though she's hell bent on moving to Asheville.
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Hey all. Long time, no see.
Just saw this article that might be of interest to some of the trans people here.
Planned Parenthood has begun offering HRT services at 26 locations.
Where do fat MtF people find fitting women's clothing on a budget?
Target has a plus-size line now. Usually much, much less to choose from than the rest of the store, but some of what's there looks and feels good.
For bras, I usually get mine mail order from Hanes' Just My Size site (since I've never seen my bra size in a store).
And as others have said, thrifting is a great way to go. Can be lots of fun if you bring a friend with you.
Just to let know those of your who do not look into off-topic section...
We just lost Bradley Holland, The Eight Dwarf...
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So I just discovered Steampowered Giraffe recently, going off of Stars (WHICH I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY F@!#ING HEAD) they're pretty good :3
Why Iz I mentioning them here? The band is lead by the twins David and Isabella, who began transitioning in 2014.
I just thought, knowing that your sibling has got your back when you're going through that is just unadulterated awesome.
Edit: Just listened to Transform by Isabella.
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Ooh! I actually love Steam Powered Girraffe's music. I'm a big fan of steampunk music in general.
I wasn't aware of Isabella transitioning until right now, though. I tend to know zero things about the personal lives of celebrities unless they get yelled at me by either the news or the internet. Go her.
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This may sound like an odd question, apologies in advance if it seems awkward.
What would be considered 'gender-neutral' clothing?
I mean, it's already a hard question in the sense that attaching a gender to a stylized piece of fabric is pretty ridiculous. But that's getting into semantics. I genuinely do not know how to answer this one - dresses, tank tops, and more "revealing" clothing tend to be considered more feminine in general but I can't really think of anything that people consider masculine. Mechapoet basically has it down.
Naturally this means the best gender-neutral clothing is a lab coat. Not only does it make you look smart, but nobody cares if it's dirty or too big cause that's what a good scientist's lab coat is supposed to look like. You can even wear whatever comfortable stuff you want under it, and you'll be ready if spontaneous experiment opportunities present themselves.
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I don't really know where else to share this. While I am not in the closet, I am not completely out of it either. I've been having a really rough week. On Monday I found out that one of the few people that has known for years that I'm bi passed away. He committed suicide after years of fighting PTSD and the drug addition that too often follows it.
Jake was one of my closest friends, and one of the few guys I trusted enough to actually have an emotional relationship with as opposed to just a physical one. Growing up in rural America in the 70s and 80s you kind of learned that guys couldn't be trusted not to turn on you if it were ever found out that you were a "f+&." Gay, bi, or trans; it wouldn't matter. That's why so many of us flee the heartland.
We both grew up in the rural mid-west but we met at England AFB in Alexandria Louisiana where we both served in the military. It was a great time; even though both of us were too scared to admit the truth back then. We liked each other a little too much for comfort; and it scared me. It took us a few years to get past the anxiety, and by then the military had sent me off to the real England and Jake headed off to college, but a little growth and a little time let us figure out that we were more than friends. We developed a strange, on again off again relationship that never seemed to rock our friendship.
We stayed in touch through most of the next 20 years, and social media made it so we would be forever friends even though we basically missed our chance to be too much more than that. We had a brief moment; and it was something to remember.
I moved on and stumbled from relationship to relationship until I met my wife. Jake stumbled into greater depression after the first Gulf War, and eventually into drugs. That landed him in trouble with the law, would cost him the company he built from scratch, but helped him clean up his life for a time. From there he managed to get into working for the VA until he filed a complaint about money fraud in the Arizona VA. His superiors didn't like that much so they drove him out. After that he bounced around the country looking for a purpose. His few visits here to Ohio were special moments, and despite the fear we both felt I introduced him to my wife. They hit it off like old friends. She's always known I'm bi, but who'd a thought she'd be so accepting of somebody she knows I still have strong feelings for. She is amazing and with her help I will get though the pain.
But time had taken its toll, and Jake could no longer handle the nightmares and stress from his time in the Gulf. He continued to wander around the country looking for a purpose until he just couldn't bear the pain anymore. He took his own life on 3 January; just 2 days after we last spoke to each other. I had no clue. I only found out on Monday. My wife was really shocked when I told her but she has been helping me hold it together. Jake would have been 45 years old this summer. Our birthdays are only a day apart (6 years and a day, really); and I had hoped he would come to Ohio this summer so we could celebrate them together. Now, we have missed that chance. I miss him very much.
I know all of you understand in a way most people cannot. Thank you in advance for your well wishes and support. I appreciate it greatly. I don't think I will want to talk about this again as it hurts too much, but I needed someplace to express my grief fully.
I love you Jake. I always have and I always will.
Sorry for your loss. :(
Damn. I'm sorry.
Condolences on your loss, and may you heal (but never forget).
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear that, he sounds like a great guy.
Another tragic story which I first debated about whether to post it, and then wasn't sure where to put it, but thought perhaps here it would have the greatest sympathy rather than despite.
This is Kayden Clarke's Youtube Channel where he discusses transition
Kayden Clarke's Youtube channel
Kayden Clarke also has Aspergers.
This was an incredibly intelligent and articulate person, but with meltdowns and other difficulties someone with Asperger's has.
This video basically can explain the additional difficulties a trans person with Asperger's has dealing with the transition...
Warning...language...
Upset and explaining unhappiness with transition as someone with Asperger's
We have heard a lot about Police proaction in regards to people in regards to violence, and much of the time they get away with it.
In this instance, the only excuse I think they would be able to have would be that they simply do not have the training in how to deal with someone with aspergers.
Kayden Clarke called the police for help and was shot and killed in his home.
Person with Asperger's shot dead by police
He was very unhappy and had huge problems due to the difficulties of this, inclusive of suicide. The call for help probably was just that and I suspect the attempt was due to the frustration dealing with this issue (but I'm not the psychiatrist...that's just my suspicion).
The tragic arena of this is that I think at a minimum, if they didn't know what else to do, they could have simply either closed the door and gotten more to help in taking away the weapon with NO shooting, or something else in regards to helping this person. If they had done that, the situation would have been relatively the same as waiting for them to arrive, rather than shooting the very person you are there to help. I'm sure those with training know many other ways and choices they could have taken instead.
This is a very tragic event. You can tell in this video that he feels at the end of his rope in some ways...and the rest of the story is about as tragic as you can get.
Wish there had been more help for him, and wish that the police had more training in dealing with it to prevent the tragic event of the loss of this person's life.
I can only blame it on lack of training...other than that, anger and sadness at what has happened really makes it hard for me to know what to say about this other than that.
I've never come across that site before, despite working in specialist education and actually being Aspergic. You learn something new every day!
I've never come across that site before, despite working in specialist education and actually being Aspergic. You learn something new every day!
Indeed.
Another tragic story which I first debated about whether to post it, and then wasn't sure where to put it, but thought perhaps here it would have the greatest sympathy rather than despite.
This is Kayden Clarke's Youtube Channel where he discusses transition
Kayden Clarke's Youtube channel
Kayden Clarke also has Aspergers.
This was an incredibly intelligent and articulate person, but with meltdowns and other difficulties someone with Asperger's has.
This video basically can explain the additional difficulties a trans person with Asperger's has dealing with the transition...
Warning...language...
Upset and explaining unhappiness with transition as someone with Asperger's
We have heard a lot about Police proaction in regards to people in regards to violence, and much of the time they get away with it.
In this instance, the only excuse I think they would be able to have would be that they simply do not have the training in how to deal with someone with aspergers.
Kayden Clarke called the police for help and was shot and killed in his home.
Person with Asperger's shot dead by police
He was very unhappy and had huge problems due to the difficulties of this, inclusive of suicide. The call for help probably was just that and I suspect the attempt was due to the frustration dealing with this issue (but I'm not the psychiatrist...that's just my suspicion).
The tragic arena of this is that I think at a minimum, if they didn't know what else to do, they could have simply either closed the door and gotten more to help in taking away the weapon with NO shooting, or something else in regards to helping this person. If they had done that, the situation would have been relatively the same as waiting for them to arrive, rather than shooting the very person...
I heard about this, but had no idea the person was trans. Something went very wrong here. Damn.
Innocent folks (and their neighbors) who need help getting shot by police is nothing new. This is one of the many reasons people *don't* call the police. If the people who are sworn to 'serve and protect' don't, then why should one call them?
Every time I see one of these 'shot by officer after calling for help' situations I can't help but shudder a bit -- a sibling of mine had a rough childhood and fell almost into the category of the above or the tragic shooting in Chicago earlier this year.
Thankfully cooler heads prevailed but...
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A lot of times it makes me wonder if we should have something like South Africa's police paramedics. Trained as a paramedic first and foremost, but still a cop (Granted, South Africa's exist more because paramedics need guns there, which isn't what I'm suggesting.). Should be much more qualified to assist people with mental health issues, while still being able to use force if absolutely necessary.
We could also try doing what the FBI and a lot of European forces do: hire only college graduates, have a much longer academy, and treat cops like well educated professionals. Also, no in house shooting or abuse investigations. That should just be obvious.
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I got on a subway train here in San Francisco. A hot pink banner asked my why I would want to go look at sea lions when I could pet a real live bear, and encouraged me to visit the Castro. I found this most amusing.
I got on a subway train here in San Francisco. A hot pink banner asked my why I would want to go look at sea lions when I could pet a real live bear, and encouraged me to visit the Castro. I found this most amusing.
Is that still the BART, Rosita?
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The problem with police in this country (the U.S.) is one of culture. Police and civilians alike both see them as entirely separate from the public, almost an occupying military force rather than part of the community.
This is even more true in larger cities and when the police are dealing with those they don't consider 'one of them', which can be racial or based on other prejudices like sexual orientation or gender identity, but can also be based on income or other factors entirely.
There are certainly exceptions to this in particular communities, but there's been an unfortunate trend towards it country-wide.
It's not all one-sided either. Police absolutely shoot people in situations like this where they shouldn't, but because non-police aren't really familiar with the standards by which the police operate, they also get blamed for shootings that were perfectly reasonable. Which makes other cops inclined to believe their fellow officers even when that's not the case...which only widens the cultural divide.
It's a real problem.
I got on a subway train here in San Francisco. A hot pink banner asked my why I would want to go look at sea lions when I could pet a real live bear, and encouraged me to visit the Castro. I found this most amusing.Is that still the BART, Rosita?
We have BART, but I rarely use it. Doesn't swing by where I live. I ride Muni, which is the city train and bus system as opposed to the regional BART.
Jordan Gray on 'The Voice (UK)'.
Seems a bit premature, as she didn't get through on her blind audition, but I'm wondering if, on the last of the blind auditions on Saturday, they won't fill all the places, and she'll be picked up by a judge then.
This would seem to support that.
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It's been a while since I've poked my head in here. I just wanted to give everyone an update on my weight loss surgery. I am down 70 pounds from the day of surgery and 90 pounds overall. That's 10 inches around my waist. That's going from a size 26/28 to a size 20. I feel wonderful. I haven't bought any new clothes because I'm losing weight so fast.
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The problem with police in this country (the U.S.) is one of culture. Police and civilians alike both see them as entirely separate from the public, almost an occupying military force rather than part of the community.
This is even more true in larger cities and when the police are dealing with those they don't consider 'one of them', which can be racial or based on other prejudices like sexual orientation or gender identity, but can also be based on income or other factors entirely.
There are certainly exceptions to this in particular communities, but there's been an unfortunate trend towards it country-wide.
It's not all one-sided either. Police absolutely shoot people in situations like this where they shouldn't, but because non-police aren't really familiar with the standards by which the police operate, they also get blamed for shootings that were perfectly reasonable. Which makes other cops inclined to believe their fellow officers even when that's not the case...which only widens the cultural divide.
It's a real problem.
Same in other countries ;-)
Congratulations, Bob!
BOOOOOOOOOOB!
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Bob, congrats on dropping weight, now the hard part comes up... keeping it off.
Good luck and hang in there!