I've been in a long-term relationship so I wouldn't be the best person to speak with that about that. I hover between enjoying independence, but liking knowing that someone is there, and wondering if things are moving too slowly (getting impatient to have the wedding/kids before I'm too old to fully enjoy it). Honestly, knowing what it is like to be single and knowing what it is like to be in a relationship, I'd rather have the latter, but to be in a realtionship/be romantic isn't an overpowering drive. Mostly knowing someone is there for sensual contact is what is great for me (apart from the implied love), though expensive toys will suffice when alone.
"Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are hookers."
I work in a hotel so I see a lot of foriegn travellers during their first days in the country and see how awkward they are about everything, and that is only physical and cultural differences. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to adapt to that same level of rapid change emotionally (I guess I'd call it, for lack of a better word) in relation to desires for romantic and/or sexual partnership. It certainly seems like it would be challenging to explore those avenues knowing such changes can happen again and as drastically and quickly and unexpectedly as before, especially since a second person would be involved.
But again, I'm far from the standard, so what do I know, eh?
You sound quite normal,meo. I'm 33 and think about sex all the time. So does my dad, who is in his 80s.
You sound quite normal,meo. I'm 33 and think about sex all the time. So does my dad, who is in his 80s.I wasn't talking about merely thinking about sex. I'm sure many people of different ages do that.
I'm talking about when thinking about sex ends up with your body reacting like it's having sex. Like, with the spasms and all that.
Unless you're talking about the post right before yours. In which case, I find my mind wandering off onto the topic of sex somewhat annoying.
interesting, meo. I will have to pm you on this.
I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.
I find this conversation pretty interesting. I actually find a different, but mildly related problem: I can't reach my top without doing it myself and kind of forcing spasms in my body. It's a very... involved experience.
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I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.
That's true, I watched a special on the female orgasm a couple of weeks ago. One of the studies was doing a MRI on the brain while it was happening. One of the women in the study was able to bring herself to orgasm by just thinking about it. Granted it took her a really long time like 45 mins of just thinking about it, but once she did. Her brain wave patterns was exactly the same as when she had "help" reaching one.
Doubt it is very common but it is possible for some people.
I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.That's true, I watched a special on the female orgasm a couple of weeks ago. One of the studies was doing a MRI on the brain while it was happening. One of the women in the study was able to bring herself to orgasm by just thinking about it. Granted it took her a really long time like 45 mins of just thinking about it, but once she did. Her brain wave patterns was exactly the same as when she had "help" reaching one.
Doubt it is very common but it is possible for some people.
The one with Maggie Gyllenhaal's creepy narration? The emphasis she put on words like "clitoris," and the intensity in her eyes...
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I ran an LGBT table top game of D&D for several years. It had it's ups and downs with some of the members. It eventually had to fold. I'd like to start another one, but finding decent LGBT players is tough.An LGBT game? How does that work?
Just like any other game, really, other than having non-straight players!
I agree with meophist regarding that kind of recruitment. It's a bit prejudiced at that. Another way to get a similar result would be to look for players who are "comfortable with the subject matter" You may end up with an all LGBT group, or you may also have open-minded straight people join as well.
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The one with Maggie Gyllenhaal's creepy narration? The emphasis she put on words like "clitoris," and the intensity in her eyes...I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.That's true, I watched a special on the female orgasm a couple of weeks ago. One of the studies was doing a MRI on the brain while it was happening. One of the women in the study was able to bring herself to orgasm by just thinking about it. Granted it took her a really long time like 45 mins of just thinking about it, but once she did. Her brain wave patterns was exactly the same as when she had "help" reaching one.
Doubt it is very common but it is possible for some people.
Honestly no clue who it was. It was a few weeks ago, I just remember they had several different kinds of studies or test about it.
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I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.
The master race is real and this is them. :)
I'm biromantic, but only homo- and zoo-sexual (no ladies here), so I was a pretty confused kid at times (at times being key here; always knew I was into men sexually, though)...easiest just to refer to myself as gay more often than not when it comes up in conversation and drop the awkward bits.
The bolded emphasis is mine.
I don't want to be presumptuous, but what are you implying when you express that?
I remember from some articles about masturbation that a small fraction of people can actually arouse themselves to the point of reaching orgasm just by fantasizing about sex.The master race is real and this is them. :)
They are bound to remove themselves from gene pool by dying childless, like men that are flexible enough for auto-fellation ;)
I'm biromantic, but only homo- and zoo-sexual (no ladies here), so I was a pretty confused kid at times (at times being key here; always knew I was into men sexually, though)...easiest just to refer to myself as gay more often than not when it comes up in conversation and drop the awkward bits.The bolded emphasis is mine.
I don't want to be presumptuous, but what are you implying when you express that?
Probably what you are thinking; in addition to human males I'm sexually attracted to non-human, usually male animals (typically, but not neccessarily limited to, large breeds of canine and horses). It's a rather complex part of my sexuality.
Hey all, I'm back and catching up on the thread, responses to be posted soon =)
Considering I've had sexual attraction to objects in general and food specifically, I don't really find attraction to animals all that odd. I mean, at least they're alive.
...Unless you have necrophilic zoophilia. At which point maybe we should change the subject.
Never; I'm a vegetarian (partly because I'm zoosexual)-animals being hurt or killed (or already being dead) is not only not attractive to me, but something I actively oppose happening.
I knew a girl in high school that had a thing for food; and not just food of a specific...shape...either, like I've heard tell some people use. Eating fruit (and and some vegetables) was a very arousing and erotic experience for her. It was actually rather fascinating to hear her try to describe it.
First responding to posts that directly address me.
Heya Dogbladewarrior,
I thought it would be cool to create a thread where members of the LGBT community who are also gamers could come and share their life stories, experiences as gamers, and struggles (whether in dealing with their sexuality in relation to our society or not).Thanks for this thread, def "cool."
I'm struck by two things immediately:
- Firstly, I've been using "LBGTQ" myself for a while. I self-identify as "G" but I think it's cool that folks have been adding a "Q" onto the "traditional, well-known and in some circles highly-regarded" LGBT acronym (for either "Queer!" or "Questioning?" ... take your pick). I try to use it when I remember to.
- Secondly, I've got nearly 500 posts to read through.
Anyhow, thanks for the thread; I know I'm in for an interesting and engaging read.
-- Andy
Ayep, np. As far as modern acronyms and political correctness go I’m always a bit behind the curve in most things it seems, I’ll prolly add a Q in my personal terminology from now on as my friends have recently started doing so as well.
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Unless someone can demonstrate if there is any sentience or proof of life with regard to cucumbers, spoons, or toilet paper roll discards, then that's the least of my concern. If you have a furry fetish and you want to have sex with someone wearing a panda or rooster costume, more power to you.
Forgive me if I say this, but when it involves the deceased, animals, or children, then we start opening up Pandora's Box and it's going to create a serious amount of problems that goes against the original nature of the thread to try to foster an inclusive community. The point is where one draws the line? At this present stage, it pertains to whether or not the actions involved are consensual.
I appreciate when someone has a platonic fondness for their companion animals. Anyone who knows me in real life or follows me on social networking sites knows very well that I'm an animal lover. I'm surrounded by pets and a lot of the times, I prefer my solace with their company over those of other people. Even though I'm aware that the dog was licking his ass not just five minutes ago, I'll still subject myself to his ferocious licking on my face and even if he manages to catch my mouth.
I'm aware of the arguments for and against. The only thing I'm going to infer is that there is a fine distinction between biology and primal urges versus making a cognitive decision of one's action in mutual agreement.
Those in the LGBT community that I'm friends with tend to freak out when such topics come up because it only fuels the rationale of certain right-wing conservative groups to reinforce their bias and dogmatic moral delineations as being a gateway in the same fashion that others would argue on the position in the drug wars by comparing marijuana to cocaine and heroin when it really should be in the group regarding tobacco and alcohol.
This isn't the Rubicon I'd want to cross. YMMV.
@ Urizen: I understand that there is a world of difference between homosexuality and zoosexuality and also would agree that this thread is not the place to hold a prolonged discussion on the matter; more because of the taboo and stigma attatched to it than anything else. I doubt a debate on the matter would sway anyone and it is off-topic anyway (I'm in no rush to start a serious discussion thread on the subject at any rate, as it would likely quickly devolve into arguments, insults, and become locked unproductively). I was careful to word my phrasing that I'm attracted to animals, not having a relationship with any animal nor advocating illegal activity in anyway (I'm happily engaged in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful man anyway). I would like to note, however, that not speaking on a topic because it might lead stupid people to believe stupid things is not a good reason for doing so. People are going to believe what they are going to believe. I'll more than happily leave this aside on the matter at that and if anyone wants to discuss the matter they can message me, I only briefly meant to mention it as this was a topic pretaining to sexuality and that is a large part of who I am sexually. I apologise for getting off topic and didn't mean to ruffle any feathers.
@ Urizen: I understand that there is a world of difference between homosexuality and zoosexuality and also would agree that this thread is not the place to hold a prolonged discussion on the matter; more because of the taboo and stigma attatched to it than anything else. I doubt a debate on the matter would sway anyone and it is off-topic anyway (I'm in no rush to start a serious discussion thread on the subject at any rate, as it would likely quickly devolve into arguments, insults, and become locked unproductively). I was careful to word my phrasing that I'm attracted to animals, not having a relationship with any animal nor advocating illegal activity in anyway (I'm happily engaged in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful man anyway). I would like to note, however, that not speaking on a topic because it might lead stupid people to believe stupid things is not a good reason for doing so. People are going to believe what they are going to believe. I'll more than happily leave this aside on the matter at that and if anyone wants to discuss the matter they can message me, I only briefly meant to mention it as this was a topic pretaining to sexuality and that is a large part of who I am sexually. I apologise for getting off topic and didn't mean to ruffle any feathers.
I’m not sure how many right wing conservative groups read the Paizo message boards anyway. Besides not talking about how we feel is part of what led LGBTQ people to lead such sh!tting lives for so long anyway. Like you said you weren’t promoting crimes or even actions so as the original poster I can say I didn’t mind Ringtail.
@Dogbladewarrior: you've said many times that thou art big and fetching... how about a pic? ;-) (Oh-oh, I'm gonna get in trouble now!! LOL)
Lol the amount of flirtyness I read into this brief request makes it hard not to respond too flirtly given how flirty I myself am, couple that with the fact that I have been talking a lot of sh!t about how big and handsome and strong I am and it would be unfair not to post a good pic…
…On the other hand being relatively new to the interwebz I have not yet decided for myself exactly how freely I want to splash personal identifying information all over the place, not sure yet even what I think of joining that Book of Faces my friends are trying to drag me into. –eyes narrow in suspicion-
Hmmm ok, how about this? There are many of you I’ve spoken to across these messageboards I’ve found to be deep and interesting people and wouldn’t mind being “internet buddies” with. How about we keep chatting here and there and when we get to the point we feel like we know each other pretty well and are friends we can exchange email addresses and then I’ll freely tell you all you want to know about me and send you pictures of myself, my friends, my habitats, and anything else you ask nicely for =D.
For those of you who have no interest in being my pal or who just can’t wait, here is a startlingly accurate artist’s depiction of me for you to enjoy instead!
The only thing in fact that bugs me about not having been in a relationship for a long time is that certain friends of mine like to inform me that I am unhappy because I am single... no, not that I appear unhappy and that they assume that my single-ness is the cause of it. It's that even if I appear perfectly happy, I am single and therefore MUST be unhappy (and just hiding it really well), because it is apparently impossible to be happy and single simultaneously (interestingly enough, the people who lecture me most that I "need" someone in my life and that I cannot possibly be happy as a single person are the ones who complain most often about their rocky and stressful relationships). It's weird, my friends of all walks of life and sexualities generally don't judge me on my sexuality per se, but that I am SINGLE? That's downright unacceptable. I don't know if they're embarrassed by me or what. I mean, there's plenty of reasons to be embarrassed by me, you'd think my being single would be the least of them.
I recently had a married guy try really hard to sell me on marriage to the point where not only was my answer of "I'm completely open to it." unacceptable it seemed like he wanted me to find someone to marry and marry them on the spot such was the emphasis he placed one it. The darnest thing was the more he talked about his own marriage the more it sounded like he was just completely miserable with it.
I understand trying to sell someone on something you love but if you are miserable why are you trying to push it on me, what is that?!?!
I understand trying to sell someone on something you love but if you are miserable why are you trying to push it on me, what is that?!?!
Misery loves companionship?
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Popping in to say hey and introduce myself.
Gamer for a couple decades. I've been with the same partner for..let's see..16 years in September. Incredibly lucky, but realistic about the challenges of a long term relationship, and the importance of being each other's best friends at the core of it all.
I've been lucky in that I've seen little harassment or discrimination at the game table. The only real moment was at a 4E Encounters session at a FLGS with a table of crap players who thought it was acceptable to shout out any number of homophobic/racist/mysoginistic comments. I soon corrected them, and left their table, having words with the store manager before I left. They weren't allowed to continue with the store's program without some major attitude changes so win/win.
Good to see a community here.
*puts on his diversity training cap*
A trans-woman is someone who was born with male anatomy but identifies as female. A trans-man is the opposite.
*takes off cap*
(Yes, I used to do diversity trainings about LGBT issues. I had a 5-10 minute spiel about terminology for people in the T group, such as which pronouns to use if you want to be polite, and the difference between transgendered people, transsexuals, transvestites, and drag queens.)
My quick and basic advice for when dealing with the transgender people in your life based on personal experience:
1. Realize that they are the gender they identify as, don't question, they know themselves infinitely better than you do. You are a causal observer, they are themselves.
2. Use the pronouns that relate to the gender they truly are. This can actually be way harder than it sounds especially if the people around you are using the wrong pronouns but keep trying, It will likely be appreciated, even if it is not mentioned upfront. (Admittedly you will likely have some bad days where you flipflop gender pronouns consistently, but instead of becoming all awkward about it, play it off like you are just one of those people who are too cool to adhere to the English language correctly and start calling everyone in the room by the wrong pronouns, you won’t look like a moron, I promise.)
3. Your brain is likely confused when you deal with your transgender pal because the subconscious biases about gender roles you didn’t even know you had are rubbing up against each other in a jarring way. Instead of fighting your brains natural process of trying to categorize people, just roll with it, focus on the aspects of your idea of gender roles that match up with traits your pal displays of their true gender and pretty soon your brain will eliminate the cognitive dissonance by pigeonholing them into the label they belong in and everyone will be happy. Make small mindedness work for you!
I understand trying to sell someone on something you love but if you are miserable why are you trying to push it on me, what is that?!?!Misery loves companionship?
That is a truism I hear often, but I'm honestly a little befuddled by it. Why would you try to make things worse if you have an opportunity to make them better? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me.
Please don't try and bypass the censorship filters—they are there for a reason.
Please don't try and bypass the censorship filters—they are there for a reason.
Oh, apologies. I won't do that anymore.
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I try to remember all my Queer and Questioning brothers and sisters and somewhere-in-betweens when I type "LGBTQ," just because I recall how much I've been hurt in the past when as a gay man I've heard folks say and type things causally like I didn't count or I don't matter.
I've seen "QUILTBAG" bandied about recently as a maximally inclusive term with the advantage of actually being pronounceable (and the component terms even sound inclusive):
Q - Queer and/or Questioning
U - Undecided
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender, Transexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual
G - Gay and/or Genderqueer