Round 3 Home Edition

[Dan Jones]

A creepy, dark gray-skinned humanoid can be seen from the corner of the eye. It disappears when directly looked at.

Dark Clinger CR 7
XP 3,200
CE Small humanoid (dark folk)
Init +9; Senses see in darkness, see invisibility; Perception +4
Aura dark curse of the unseeing eye (400 ft., DC 17)

----- Defense -----
AC 20, touch 17, flat-footed 14 (+5 Dexterity, +1 dodge, +3 natural, +1 size)
hp 65 (10d8+20)
Fort +5, Ref +12, Will +5
Resist improved evasion
Weaknesses light blindness, peripheral visibility

----- Offense -----
Speed 40 ft., climb 20 ft.
Melee 2 claws +13 (1d3)
Ranged spit +13 ranged touch (blinding spittle)
Special Attacks blinding breath, blinding spittle, death throes, sneak attack +4d6

----- Statistics -----
Str 11, Dex 20, Con 15, Int 8, Wis 15, Cha 14
Base Atk +7; CMB +6; CMD 20
Feats Dodge, Improved Initiative, Mobility, Spring Attack, Weapon Finesse
Skills Climb +13, Intimidate +5, Perception +5, Stealth +10; Racial Modifiers +8 Climb
Languages Dark Folk, Undercommon
SQ Always stealthy, freedom of movement, natural invisibility, sudden shift

----- Ecology -----
Environment any underground
Organization solitary, pair, or gang (3-8)
Treasure standard

----- Special Abilities -----
Always stealthy (Ex) A dark clinger constantly takes 10 on Stealth skill checks.
Blinding breath (Su) Once every 1d6 rounds, a dark clinger can exhale an foul cloud in either a 15 foot cone or a 30 foot line. All living creatures within the area of effect must make a DC 17 Reflex save or become blind for 1d6 rounds. Those that succeed on the Reflex save are still blinded for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution based.
Blinding spittle (Ex) A dark clinger of the periphery can make a ranged touch attack with a range of 30 feet. If the dark clinger successfully hits a living creature, it must make a DC 17 Fortitude save or become blind for 1d6 rounds. Those that succeed on the Fortitude save are still blinded for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution based.
Dark curse of the unseeing eye (Su) Any living creature that uses see invisibility, true seeing, or any similar ability while looking at a dark clinger must make a DC 17 Will save or become blind for 1d6 rounds. Those that succeed on the Will save are still blinded for 1 round. This ability does not affect dark folk. The save DC is Charisma based.
Death throes (Su) When a dark clinger is slain, it immediately sprouts a mass of giant tentacles. Treat this as a black tentacles effect with a caster level of 5 and its radius reduced to 10 feet.
Freedom of movement (Su) A dark clinger has a constant freedom of movement effect.
Peripheral visibility (Su) A dark clinger is only invisible to those that look directly at it. A dark clinger may be visible to those that divert their eyes from it. To see a dark clinger out of the corner of her eye, a character must succeed on a DC 20 Perception skill check; the dark clinger still benefits from concealment.
Sudden shift (Ex) As an immediate action, a dark clinger can move 5 feet; if this is done in response to an attack, there is a 50% chance the attack misses the dark clinger if it moves beyond area, range, or reach of the attack.

Dark clingers are degenerate outcasts of the dark folk that lurk in dark corners. Their gaunt bodies are wrapped in pure black ribbons. Some are solitary hunters, others roam in deadly packs throughout the tunnels of the Darklands.

[Scott Fernandez]

Dan Jones wrote:

A creepy, dark gray-skinned humanoid can be seen from the corner of the eye. It disappears when directly looked at.

Dark Clinger CR 7

Wow can you have more blindness causing abilities? This critter can target each saving throw in some way so it's almost equally effective against any class in an adventuring party. I don't think that's a wise design move, it smacks of being overpowered. Blindness is a serious condition, even in short durations. Top it all off with a mini black tentacles death throe and it's got constant freedom of movement. So if one dies the rest can continue to harass likely grappled PCs.

A 400 foot aura, really? A 40 ft. radius spell on a battle mat is bad enough, but I have to worry about 400 ft. I highly doubt a group will ever encounter a dark clinger in a 400 ft encounter area.

I would keep the spittle, it's interesting. I would probably use the gaze mechanics for the peripheral visibility ability or just give it permanent displacement instead of being invisible to keep it from being overly complicated.

This critter needs some playtesting.

--Vrock the Casbah

[Dan Jones]

Thanks for the great feedback. I wanted to create a monster that used the divert your eyes mechanic, so I designed it to punish people who "cheated" by using see invisible spells and the like.

Originally, this was going to be a skunk-like magical beast, but then the rules stated it had to be Golarion specific, so I changed it to the dark folk, so I had to give it some kind of death throes, and since I went with mini-black tentacles, I also gave them freedom of movement so they could deal with the death of their fellows.

[Scott Fernandez]

Yeah it's all kinds of Gonzo... I'm sure a few passes with an editorial eye (and a few test runs against varying levels of players) could skew this beastie in the right direction.

Though a skunk like magical beast wouldn't have been a bad move... dark folk aren't exactly Golarion specific unlike say the Caulborn of Kaer Maga.

[Dan Jones]

I was also working on an aberration version that fit with my Claw of the Crawling Spell, possibly with ties to the Dark Tapestry.

[RonarsCorruption]

A few comments;

One, it's an interesting monster concept. Not that there's a ton of golarion specificity here, but still, it's a good start.

Next, 400 ft. is too big for an aura. In fact, I can't think of a single creature other than high level outsiders who have an aura higher that 60 ft. That ability needs to be severely gimped. Still, the temporary blindness is kinda cool - it would probably be better to specify that this is a curse-effect, though. Even a short-lived one.

"Always stealthy" is terrible as-written. It implies that even if this creature were to walk up and talk to you, you'd have to be making perception checks to notice it. Just say he can always take 10 on stealth even if threatened. And change the name too. "always stealthy" is a terrible name.

And further, for a stealth-focused monster, it should really have +15 to Stealth instead of splitting it's ranks with another skill.

Blinding breath, blinding spittle... This monster is really a one trick pony, isn't it? Especially because every one of these effects is "save to reduce duration to one round." All three of these abilities are way too much, especially in the same vein, because a creature engaged in melee combat with a dark clinger (btw, what's a "dark clinger of the periphery"?) plausibly has to make three saves, one of each type, every round or be blind for at least one round, every round.

Since freedom of movement is exactly reproducing the spell of the same name, it should be a constant spell-like effect, not a supernatural special quality.

And then death throes of dark tentacles and the ability to shift as an immediate action every turn? You went way overboard here. And I don't even know if your numbers are anywhere close to right.

If nothing else, that shift ability should be scrapped. Anyone nearby is already blind, so having to make potentially two 50% miss chances every round? It just gets silly.

All in all, you did too much. Three blindness abilities, and all the rest of what you have is just too many things for one monster. You needed to cut some of what it does, and added more of what it is - one sentence isn't enough.

[Jacob W. Michaels]

RonarsCorruption wrote:

One, it's an interesting monster concept. Not that there's a ton of golarion specificity here, but still, it's a good start.

Based on my understanding of the rules, the monsters didn't need to be Golarion specific in the way the Witchbole Willow or Thunderthief were (though it's quite possible voters rewarded those creatures for being such). They needed to be something that could fit into Golarion.

So, even though I ended up cutting the references to the Eldest and the First World in my sidhe noble, I think it still could have been considered a Golarion monster because it could be plopped in anywhere without seeming odd (well, if it hadn't sucked, that is).

Contrast that with my Unfettered, which Sean felt couldn't fit into Golarion lore because it created too many unfettered eidolons (though perhaps if I'd made it a much smaller group and limited it to Kaer Maga, as Neil suggested, they might've fit in better in the world).

[RonarsCorruption]

That's a good point. I suppose I was a lot of it was my being disappointed there was only one short paragraph of description for where it was from, and it didn't give me a lot of excuse to think of it as more than just any generic monster.

[Dan Jones]

Actually, I'm kind of liking the idea of reducing the range of its aura. If it was 40 or 60 feet, an ally could stand back and shout out its position.

The reason I didn't give it a big racial bonus to Stealth is because it has natural invisiblity.

Also, the way I see a fighter-type fighting this monster is to:
1. Realize you can see it in your peripheral vision
2. Use the "divert eyes" action when striking at it
3. Make a DC 20 Perception check to see it (it's Taking 10 on Stealth).
4. The fighter rolls his 50% miss chance
5. The fighter makes his attack roll

A DC 20 Stealth check is pretty hard for a character with no ranks in Perception. That is why I didn't give it a racial bonus, because then it would have been DC 25 or 30, and that would be nigh impossible.

This monster was also designed to reward characters that have Blind-Fight or Stalwart class feature.

[Curaigh]

I am not sure I would have made this by the deadline, but I am glad I took the time to focus on formatting. I needed the practice. I am sure it has plenty of other faults which you are welcome to point out if you wish, but here is my home edition monster. :)

A broad head nearly four feet wide spreads like the wings of a ray. Spines of brilliant green and a fish-like tail break the water and scaled coils seethe below the surface.
Emerald Crested Rivercaller
XP 3,200
LN Large magical Beast (aquatic)
Init +2; Senses Darkvision 60 feet, lowlight vision, tremorsense 60 feet; Perception +7

----- Defense -----
AC 22, touch 22, flat-footed 22 (+14 natural armor, -1 dex, -1 size)
hp 67 (9d10+18);
Fort +12, Ref +8, Will +8
Defensive Abilities deflecting streams
SR 24

----- Offense -----
Speed 30 ft., swim 60 ft.
Melee Bite + 14 (1d10+4), tail +9 (1d6, grab)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft., 15 for tail
Special Attacks rivercaller’s song, piercing coil, poison (coil--injury; save Fort DC 18, frequency1/round for 6 rounds, effect 1d4 Con, cure 2 consecutive saves);
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9; concentration +9)
1/day— crushing despair , sculpt sound

----- Statistics -----
Str 18, Dex 8, Con 14,Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 16
Base Atk +9; CMB +18 (+4 to grapple); CMD 29 (33 vs. grapple)
Feats Ability focus (rivercaller’s song), Alertness, Improved Initiative, Iron will, Skill focus (concentration)
Skills Acrobatics +4, Concentration +9, Perception +8, Stealth +12, Swim +12; Racial Modifiers +8 on stealth in water
Languages Common

----- Ecology -----
Environment rivers
Organization solitary
Treasure standard

----- Special Abilities -----
Deflecting streams (Ex) Gill slits along the rivercaller can shoot strong blasts of water creating a barrier. This functions like the deflect arrows feat except it is useable every 1d4 rounds.
Rivercaller’s song (Su) A rivercaller’s song can infect the minds of those hearing it, drawing them to the caller. Creatures within a 100-foot spread must succeed a Will save (DC 22) or become captivated. Unless aboard a vessel moving in the same direction, a captivated victim moves toward the rivercaller with the most direct means. A victim receives a second saving throw to end the effect after he jumps overboard. Captivated creatures can take no actions beyond moving to the rivercaller, and the effect ends once the victim is attacked. The rivercaller must concentrate to maintain the song. This is a sonic mind-affecting charm effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Piercing coils (Ex) The emerald crested rivercaller’s spines are poisonous. Any creature it has grappled can be stabbed with the spines with a successful grapple check.

The rivercaller’s song can be heard in the murmuring of brooks and the crash of waterfalls and rapids. They frequent dangerous parts of Galorian’s mightiest rivers luring ships, into rapids, sandbars, and eddies. They sculpt the sound to create seemingly calm water where there is none. Experienced riverfolk know not to trust the sound of the water.

The rocky cliffs across the world known as 'Lover’s Leaps' disguise another tactic of the rivercaller. Local legends often tell of a scorned lover throwing himself to the river below in response to the shameful jibes of her partner. His jibes and her haunting cries can still be heard in the rivercaller's song.

Like salmon, the chrome-scaled rivercallers return to the river of their birth to spawn. Gatherings in such huge numbers are often fatal to any witnesses. The massive and broad head looks like a ray, though the coils suggest a relation to sea serpents. The spines along the coils are poisonous, letting them paralyze their victims. The rivercallers lure creatures into the depths, weaken their resolves and wait for the river to drown them. They are capable of crashing entire river vessels, but do not hesitate to bring lone targets to be claimed by their river.

[Curaigh]

I love the seed of this Dan. How many times have you been spooked by something out of the corner of your eye, only to look and see nothing? As stated above, the mechanics need work, but great idea!

[Jacob W. Michaels]

A quick glance, Curaigh, shows no CR (though I'm assuming from the challenge and XP it's CR7).

The SR seems really high -- usually it's CR+11. I'm guessing they'd say even that would be abit overpowered, as it already has an AC above standard for the CR plus the deflecting arrows.

As far as the deflecting arrows, the description of the barries makes it sound more akin to wind wall than the Deflect Arrows feat, but maybe that's just me.

You mis-spelled Golarion.

Critcism aside, though, I like the basic concept of the monster. I'll try to take a better look later on (since I'm in a very crabby mood right now, and technically supposed to be working).

[Dan Jones]

Curaigh, it looks good to me.

I would drop the SR entirely (but I think SR should be special and not on every monster, so that's just me).

The base stats should be 11, 11, 11, 10, 10, 10, so one of your extra evens should be odd....but that's just a formatting issue.

You're paying for the above average AC with below average hit points. It also has a relatively low touch AC, which is another good balancing factor.

You also forgot to add a Strength modifier (usually 1 1/2 Strength modifier for tails, right?) to your tail attack damage.

But a singing manta ray with poisonous tail grappling??? Yes please!

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Hey, if you guys wouldn't mind checking, I'd love feedback on a (non-CR7) monster I posted.

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Smilo, like others, I really like the idea of something you can only see from the corner of your eye. I also agree that all the blinding effects are a little too much -- but more importantly, I think it dilutes from the cool central concept of only seeing it when you avert your gaze (which is going to give a miss percentage already, IIRC). I think I'd try to give it another suite of offensive abilities, maybe something involving illusions/phantasms to go with the barely seen concept?

Similarly, I feel like the death throes just feels like an odd choice for the creature.

[Dan Jones]

Yeah, the death throes bit for when I converted it to a dark folk. Originally, it was going to be a kind of magical beast skunk-like critter.

I wanted to negate see invisible and its ilk some way, and blindness seems like an ironic way to do it.

The blindness breath and blinding spittle are just a short ranged area effect and ranged touch attack that do similar things; 2 different ways to use the same basic kind of attack.

[Metamorphosis]

Imaginitive work, I would have voted for both had you been contestants.

[Curaigh]

Metamorphosis wrote:

Imaginitive work, I would have voted for both had you been contestants.

Wow, quite the compliment :)

Thanks Metamorphosis, Dan, Jacob and Jacob :)

[Dan Jones]

Yeah, thanks!!!
:-D

[Nicos]

Curaigh wrote:

Feats Ability focus (rivercaller’s song), Alertness, Improved Initiative, Iron will, Skill focus (concentration)

I think this feat do not exist in PF.