Well as John pointed out the banner is gone and Sam has had a while to bask in his well-earned glory (congrats again :).
You may remember DankeSean's recommendation to write one good item every month so we will have some awesome stuff for next year. It worked too, carrying him to Top Four and he is one of the few people to have Top 32 twice (congrats again :)
So are you ready to put some items out for practice and critique? One a month is not so bad (spend the rest of the month writing PFS submissions :).
In response to critiques, try rewriting the item addressing questions and concerns. Every good writer is first a re-writer first :)
Do not put anything you want to actually submit here. This is for practice after all. :)
Sure, I'll start us off with one or two of my self-rejected items from this year. Maybe someone will come up with something awesome from their remains. No formatting, and minimal polish though.
Aurora cape
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot: Shoulders; Price: 7,000 gp; Weight : 4lbs
This cape is typically made of fine silk, and glistens in the light with all the colors of the rainbow. In presence of dim light or better it sheds light as a torch, amplifying the light that falls across it into a shimmering spectrum of colors.
As a standard action, the wearer of the cape can transform it from a simple piece of fabric into interwoven beams of light. The cape may maintain this form for up to ten minutes each day, and extinguishing the cape is a swift action. This blazing light causes a distraction effect to all creatures in adjacent squares, and also prevents targets from looking directly at the wearer – preventing them from being flanked, and granting a +6 bonus to all saves versus gaze attacks while the cape is active. While the cape is active, it also sheds bright light in a 60ft radius.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Daylight; Cost 3,500gp
(170 words)
Sure, I'll start us off with one or two of my self-rejected items from this year. Maybe someone will come up with something awesome from their remains. No formatting, and minimal polish though.
Aurora cape
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot: Shoulders; Price: 7,000 gp; Weight : 4lbsThis cape is typically made of fine silk, and glistens in the light with all the colors of the rainbow. In presence of dim light or better it sheds light as a torch, amplifying the light that falls across it into a shimmering spectrum of colors.
As a standard action, the wearer of the cape can transform it from a simple piece of fabric into interwoven beams of light. The cape may maintain this form for up to ten minutes each day, and extinguishing the cape is a swift action. This blazing light causes a distraction effect to all creatures in adjacent squares, and also prevents targets from looking directly at the wearer – preventing them from being flanked, and granting a +6 bonus to all saves versus gaze attacks while the cape is active. While the cape is active, it also sheds bright light in a 60ft radius.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Daylight; Cost 3,500gp
(170 words)
Formatting. Typically made of silk, this cape glistens... (suggestion to correct active voice). simple torch effect, nice. Ten minutes a day is much more than most parties will spend in combat, meaning this is under-priced at 7k. If it functions only once per day, and that happens to be ten minutes, that is different, but it is unclear on time being consecutive. Simple piece of fabric or fine silk? define 'distraction' mechanically (dazed? blinded? fatigued? AC bonus? other?) what type of save bonus? can't be flanked is general, but you might be able to say adjacent enemies do not threaten a square except on their action, but that might be making it more complicated too. Last line should be sooner, and could be shortened to strengthen it :) My internal designer wants to add a laser-beam attack :)
Nice job Ronars, :) I will have one ready by this weekend.
Nice to see you guys tuning up for 2012 :)
Okay, it's a monster effect, I should have clarified, but I think I thought it meant something else when I wrote it. Like, -2 to AC or something. What it actually means is something like every round make a fort save or be stunned stun - which isn't at all what I intended.
Thinking on it in terms of time in combat, that's a lot. I indended charges to be spent in minute intervals, but even with that it is probably twice as much as anyone would need. And still enough to effectively be a persistant effect.
Time to get working on next month's item.
[Formatting. Typically made of silk, this cape glistens... (suggestion to correct active voice). simple torch effect, nice. Ten minutes a day is much more than most parties will spend in combat, meaning this is under-priced at 7k. If it functions only once per day, and that happens to be ten minutes, that is different, but it is unclear on time being consecutive. Simple piece of fabric or fine silk? define 'distraction' mechanically (dazed? blinded? fatigued? AC bonus? other?) what type of save bonus? can't be flanked is general, but you might be able to say adjacent enemies do not threaten a square except on their action, but that might be making it more complicated too. Last line should be sooner, and could be shortened to strengthen it :) My internal designer wants to add a laser-beam attack :)
Nice job Ronars, :) I will have one ready by this weekend.
just a nit - 'made' is still passive in your correction (which is nevertheless an improvement). I think the improvement largely stems from putting 'this cape' adjacent to 'glistens' which strengthens the sentence.
Nice to see you guys tuning up for 2012 :)
:)
Time to get working on next month's item.:)
just a nit - 'made' is still passive in your correction (which is nevertheless an improvement). I think the improvement largely stems from putting 'this cape' adjacent to 'glistens' which strengthens the sentence.
hehe, good call. :) in which case this silk cape glistens... O:)
did I mention my weekend is S, M? :)
Gizzard Stone Scabbard
Aura moderate enchantment, transmutation; CL 8th
Slot --; Price 98,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Carved from the ivory enamel of a dragon’s fang this scabbard resizes to fit any small, medium, or large bladed weapon. A weapon must be carried in the scabbard for 24 hours to become attuned to the gizzard stone scabbard. The wearer may activate the scabbard when the attuned weapon strikes a creature one size larger than the wearer. The scabbard begins whispering commands to the creature. If the creature fails a Will save (DC 18) it must attack the wearer with its bite attack and if successful start a grab, and finally swallow the wearer on its next available action. If the creature does not have the swallow whole ability, the domination ends after the bite attack (if it has no bite attack the save automatically succeeds.) While swallowed, the scabbard grants the wearer resistance to acid 10 and DR 10/adamantine. The swallowed wearer may also wield the attuned weapon as if it were light. The scabbard only recognizes size, it cannot determine if a creature has a bite attack or the grab or swallow whole abilities. The scabbard can only affect one creature per day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, energy resistance, mage hand, stoneskin; Cost 49,000 gp
Gizzard Stone Scabbard
the name alone makes me think that somehow the user of this item is going to be pulling a sword out of their own stomach. But no, somehow this is a scabbard that forces a creature to eat you.
This is a very niche item, really. Not only does it require you to be fighting something that can swallow you whole, but also for you to have some desire to *be* swallowed whole. As if somehow that was a safer place. Admittedly, with the protection the scabbard grants (in this very specific situation) it's fairly safe, but by the time you have nearly a hundred thousand gold to spend, you're going to be dealing with more than 20 damage per round. You'll be dealing with 5d6 of each, plus a chance to paralyze...
Basically, this item is both way overpriced/underpowered and way too niche. It feels like something a player will buy once to clear out a hive of a particular monster, then sell later. Not something every player could want. Especially for the price tag.
did I mention my weekend is S, M? :)
Gizzard Stone Scabbard
Aura moderate enchantment, transmutation; CL 8th
Slot --; Price 98,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Carved from the ivory enamel of a dragon’s fang this scabbard resizes to fit any small, medium, or large bladed weapon. A weapon must be carried in the scabbard for 24 hours to become attuned to the gizzard stone scabbard. The wearer may activate the scabbard when the attuned weapon strikes a creature one size larger than the wearer. The scabbard begins whispering commands to the creature. If the creature fails a Will save (DC 18) it must attack the wearer with its bite attack and if successful start a grab, and finally swallow the wearer on its next available action. If the creature does not have the swallow whole ability, the domination ends after the bite attack (if it has no bite attack the save automatically succeeds.) While swallowed, the scabbard grants the wearer resistance to acid 10 and DR 10/adamantine. The swallowed wearer may also wield the attuned weapon as if it were light. The scabbard only recognizes size, it cannot determine if a creature has a bite attack or the grab or swallow whole abilities. The scabbard can only affect one creature per day.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, energy resistance, mage hand, stoneskin; Cost 49,000 gp
** spoiler omitted **
Two things that immediately jump out at me -
Why is a 'gizzard stone' scabbard made from a dragon's tooth? Wouldn't some kind of gizzard stone (or even gizzard part) be a more appropriate material?
The first sentence is a bit of a weak lead-off. You've got a passive modifier that is quite long before you even reach the subject of the sentence. But there's a too much detail up front for you to pull the 'silken cloak' trick ;)
I'm not entirely sure how to fix the first sentence though. If you remove the initial modifier, you're left leading off with the scabbard able to resize - that seems more like a mechanical feature than a really interesting hook.
By the third sentence, the text is starting to feel like a random list of properties/restrictions. The fourth sentence feels incomplete - I assume you mean "when activated, the scabbard begins whispering"? Not just whenever? The connection with the previous sentence is too disjointed for that to come across smoothly.
Your sentence that starts "While swallowed, the scabbard grants the wearer..." has the focus in the wrong place, I think. Grammaticallly, 'the scabbard' is the subject of 'swallowed', whereas I think the focus should be on the wearer, who was just explicitly swallowed a sentence or so ago. It technically works by virtue of the technicality that the wearer is holding the scabbard, so both were swallowed, but the flow from the wearer being swallowed to the scabbard being swallowed is awkward.
I would the re-organize of the information for the whole description. Map out what each sentence is accomplishing in terms of the information it needs to convey, and then arrange them in a well thought out, structured sequence. Grab the reader with the first sentence or two, and then spell out the mechanics.
(it's a bit of an odd idea - I don't really get the connection between a scabbard and causing bite/swallow attacks, but it certainly is an interesting idea, and no doubt it works well for an exercise)
Rewrite after taking your helpful suggestions into account:
Gizzard’s Bane Scabbard
Aura moderate enchantment, transmutation; CL 8th
Slot --; Price 23,040 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A monstrous face carved in the strangely polished stone scabbard appears to swallow whatever blade is placed inside. The scabbard resizes to fit any small, medium, or large bladed weapon. Attuning a weapon requires carrying it in the gizzard’s bane scabbard for 24 hours. To activate the scabbard, the attuned weapon must strike a creature one size larger than the wearer. When activated (free action as part of the attack) the scabbard whispers commands to the creature. If the creature fails a Will save (DC 18) it must attack the wearer with a series of specific attacks. First it must bite the wearer, then start a grab, and finally it must swallow the wearer. These actions take their normal time and the creature is unable to attempt any other action until successful. If the creature does not have the swallow whole ability, the domination ends after the bite attack (if it has no bite attack the save automatically succeeds.) While swallowed in this manner, the wearer gains resistance to acid 10 and DR 10/adamantine. The swallowed wearer may also wield the attuned weapon as if it were light. The scabbard only recognizes size, it cannot determine if a creature has a bite attack or the grab or swallow whole abilities. The scabbard can only affect one creature per day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, energy resistance, mage hand, stoneskin; Cost 11,520 gp
I still say that for the utility, this item is way overpriced and feels broken as a result. There are, if you search the PRD, 13 monsters that have swallow whole (counting engulf). They only start doing acid damage from level 15 and up.
The odds of fighting more than one of these creatures in *any* particular adventure is fairly low already. And, as half of them are lower CR than you could reasonably afford this - even if you do fight, say, a dire crocodile, a dire shark and a sea serpent in the same adventure, you're not going to have had this item until after the halfway point.
I still say that for the utility, this item is way overpriced and feels broken as a result. There are, if you search the PRD, 13 monsters that have swallow whole (counting engulf). They only start doing acid damage from level 15 and up.
The odds of fighting more than one of these creatures in *any* particular adventure is fairly low already. And, as half of them are lower CR than you could reasonably afford this - even if you do fight, say, a dire crocodile, a dire shark and a sea serpent in the same adventure, you're not going to have had this item until after the halfway point.
Agreed. Swallow hole was a lot more common in 3.5, which is where the idea started. I figure it works for an exercise though :)
Rewrite after taking your helpful suggestions into account:** spoiler omitted **(as far as it being a one time then resell item, keep in mind that 'any blade' includes the holy avenger you were already weilding :)
Gizzard’s Bane Scabbard
Aura moderate enchantment, transmutation; CL 8th
Slot --; Price 23,040 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A monstrous face carved in the strangely polished stone scabbard appears to swallow whatever blade is placed inside. The scabbard resizes to fit any small, medium, or large bladed weapon. Attuning a weapon requires carrying it in the gizzard’s bane scabbard for 24 hours. To activate the scabbard, the attuned weapon must strike a creature one size larger than the wearer. When activated (free action as part of the attack) the scabbard whispers commands to the creature. If the creature fails a Will save (DC 18) it must attack the wearer with a series of specific attacks. First it must bite the wearer, then start a grab, and finally it must swallow the wearer. These actions take their normal time and the creature is unable to attempt any other action until successful. If the creature does not have the swallow whole ability, the domination ends after the bite attack (if it has no bite attack the save automatically succeeds.) While swallowed in this manner, the wearer gains resistance to acid 10 and DR 10/adamantine. The swallowed wearer may also wield the attuned weapon as if it were light. The scabbard only recognizes size, it cannot determine if a creature has a bite attack or the grab or swallow whole abilities. The scabbard can only affect one creature per day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, energy resistance, mage hand, stoneskin; Cost 11,520 gp
I think it's definitely improved, and the first sentence does a lot more to drag the reader in. The basic concept is perhaps restricted to niche situations, but is really original and quite imaginative - kudos for coming up with it!
A few more hopefully constructive observations/thoughts -
The third sentence starts with "Attuning a weapon requires..." The problem is that you give the requirements for attuning before you introduce that a weapon must be attuned for the item to function (I'm assuming, you never actually state that). Maybe start the 3rd sentence more like: "Only weapons that are attuned to the scabbard can activate its properties; the attuning process requires 24 hours." Questions - how does a weapon become un-attuned to the scabbard? Can more than one weapon be attuned at a time? Could the entire party attune their weapons over the course of a week, so that any one of them could cause whoever is wearing the scabbard to be swallowed?
Another issue concerns the mechanics. Can the whole thing be simplified a bit, so that the scabbard only functions to cause the bearer to suffer a swallow attack, with whatever a swallow attack requires - such as the preceding bite (I don't remember the rules for swallow attacks offhand), so that maybe the bite doesn't need to be specified separately in the item description. This could simplify the text a lot (and remove the overly-algorithmic "First it must bite..." sentence), and give you extra words to flesh out the attuning.
Alternatively, I wonder if the item as a whole could be simplified (conceptually and mechanically) if the item was a small rock inside a gizzard-stone-bag (as you describe the scabbard now). The bag imbues the rock with power. When someone swallows the small rock (which would need to be replaced with a new rock, presumably, maybe that takes a 24 hour attuning process), the rock dominates a monster to swallow the person who swallowed the rock, but confers protection against the effects of being swallowed. A creature with no swallow attack auto-fails the domination (as you describe for the scabbard). Rock is a single use item, whether or not the dominate succeeds; the bag only imbues one rock at a time with power. This could perhaps be abused in interesting ways, if someone were tricked into swallowing the rock.
edit: bag and rock could be named: Gizzard's Stone
Hmm, May already? This item's a little rushed, but here's my item for may:
Portrait of a Spy
Aura faint divination, transmutation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This large painting contains a tremendously detailed image of one particular individual, and it’s eyes seem to follow you. When created, a portrait of a spyis attuned to one particular individual – the one the painting depicts - and this can never be changed. At any time after the painting’s creation, the wearer can transfer his consciousness into the painting by concentrating on doing so as a standard action. While the wearer’s consciousness is so transferred, his original body is helpless, though it remains standing or sitting if it was doing so while the user activated the portrait. During this time, the painting animates with the user's consiousness, allowing the wearer to see and hear everything her image would be able to, and even speak aloud through or interact with items within the portrait itself.
When the wearer's consiousness leaves the portrait, the image returns to it's original state, regardless of the position or state the character's image was in. While the user's consiousness is transferred, she remains vaguely aware of her original body's state, but is unable to control it. She may return to her original body as a swift action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, enter image; Cost 10,000 gp
Hmm, May already? This item's a little rushed, but here's my item for may:
Portrait of a Spy
Aura faint divination, transmutation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DescriptionThis large painting contains a tremendously detailed image of one particular individual, and it’s eyes seem to follow you. When created, a portrait of a spyis attuned to one particular individual – the one the painting depicts - and this can never be changed. At any time after the painting’s creation, the wearer can transfer his consciousness into the painting by concentrating on doing so as a standard action. While the wearer’s consciousness is so transferred, his original body is helpless, though it remains standing or sitting if it was doing so while the user activated the portrait. During this time, the painting animates with the user's consiousness, allowing the wearer to see and hear everything her image would be able to, and even speak aloud through or interact with items within the portrait itself.
When the wearer's consiousness leaves the portrait, the image returns to it's original state, regardless of the position or state the character's image was in. While the user's consiousness is transferred, she remains vaguely aware of her original body's state, but is unable to control it. She may return to her original body as a swift action.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, enter image; Cost 10,000 gp
First impressions -
cool item (despite similarities to what I remember from Harry Potter).
TYPOS!! ('s is wrong twice; space missing after item name)
"original" can be left out of the phrase "original body" - it's clear enough without it.
What are the range limitations of the effect? That's an important omission.
It's an interesting idea to allow the portrait to interact with items in the picture, but to what extent are such items real? I imagine, for example, that the portrait could write in a book or on a piece of paper within the picture. The message may then be read by someone viewing the painting. Or not? Could someone retrieve a book from the painting? Scribe a scroll?
Could a weapon or trap be used or activated that affects someone in the real world? Explosive runes?
Could the portrait cast a spell affecting someone in the real world?
Could a material component be painted into the picture (very cheaply), but then used in the casting of a spell from within the painting? That seems rife for abuse, but not specifically excluded.
Huh, spellcasting from the portrait - I hadn't thought of that one, it really does break the item. A lot. I'm gonna say that I should have explicitly listed that there's no spellcasting from out of the portrait.
And as to stuff in the painting - yeah, I was considering stating that to the user it seemed like they were in a small room with a large window, and all the items in it were real, to them.
...Aurora cape
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot: Shoulders; Price: 7,000 gp; Weight : 4lbsThis cape is typically made of fine silk, and glistens in the light with all the colors of the rainbow. In presence of dim light or better it sheds light as a torch, amplifying the light that falls across it into a shimmering spectrum of colors.
As a standard action, the wearer of the cape can transform it from a simple piece of fabric into interwoven beams of light. The cape may maintain this form for up to ten minutes each day, and extinguishing the cape is a swift action. This blazing light causes a distraction effect to all creatures in adjacent squares, and also prevents targets from looking directly at the wearer – preventing them from being flanked, and granting a +6 bonus to all saves versus gaze attacks while the cape is active. While the cape is active, it also sheds bright light in a 60ft radius.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Daylight; Cost 3,500gp ...
This posts constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus, and in the language of the Abyss ‘tact’ is the method by which a demonic temptress’ domestic staff affixed her latest trophy to the wall, ‘unfair’ is a common Abyssal abbreviation for ‘funfair’, and ‘diplomacy’ – like a good china tea-service – is something best kept locked away in a cabinet for special occasions when friends or important guests come visiting.
Having made which quite clear, on to the next Disclaimer…
Does this practise item actually have any practical value to a succubus other than in terms of any entertainment which can be extracted from it by compelling a daemon, devil, or incubus to attempt to do itself at least temporary harm with it?
Not really, no. Conceivably a succubus might arrive or depart a ball wearing one (assuming an appropriately fashionable designer actually makes the things) but one tends to leave one's cape in a cloakroom once one is actually at a ball...
Now, assuming that a daemon, devil, or incubus wearing one has been appropriately conditioned or set up by one means or another... He, she, or it could be got into a lot of trouble by activating one of these at just the wrong moment.
Other Comments?
The item's manual does not make clear whether the item has any impact on creatures which rely on senses that operate in those other than the regular mortal visual spectrum to determine the layout and occupants of their surroundings. Nor does the item's manual make clear what effect the item has on adjacent planes, or whether the ten minutes of additional effect must be used all in one go, or can be broken up and used in increments throughout a 24 hour period. The item's manual also refers to 'targets', but makes no indication of how such targets are determined, or how many may be targeted.
There is no explanation given of the invulnerabilities to light effects that the cape (presumably) conveys on the wearer so that he, she or it is not adversely affected by any of the cape's 'activated' qualities.
...Gizzard Stone Scabbard
Aura moderate enchantment, transmutation; CL 8th
Slot --; Price 98,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Carved from the ivory enamel of a dragon’s fang this scabbard resizes to fit any small, medium, or large bladed weapon. A weapon must be carried in the scabbard for 24 hours to become attuned to the gizzard stone scabbard. The wearer may activate the scabbard when the attuned weapon strikes a creature one size larger than the wearer. The scabbard begins whispering commands to the creature. If the creature fails a Will save (DC 18) it must attack the wearer with its bite attack and if successful start a grab, and finally swallow the wearer on its next available action. If the creature does not have the swallow whole ability, the domination ends after the bite attack (if it has no bite attack the save automatically succeeds.) While swallowed, the scabbard grants the wearer resistance to acid 10 and DR 10/adamantine. The swallowed wearer may also wield the attuned weapon as if it were light. The scabbard only recognizes size, it cannot determine if a creature has a bite attack or the grab or swallow whole abilities. The scabbard can only affect one creature per day.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dominate monster, energy resistance, mage hand, stoneskin; Cost 49,000 gp...
This posts constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus, and in the language of the Abyss ‘tact’ is the method by which a demonic temptress’ domestic staff affixed her latest trophy to the wall, ‘unfair’ is a common Abyssal abbreviation for ‘funfair’, and ‘diplomacy’ – like a good china tea-service – is something best kept locked away in a cabinet for special occasions when friends or important guests come visiting.
Having made which quite clear, on to the next Disclaimer…
Does this practise item actually have any practical value to a succubus other than in terms of any entertainment which can be extracted from it by compelling a daemon, devil, or incubus to attempt to do itself at least temporary harm with it?
At least from the point of view of 'anonymous gift' to a daemon, devil, or incubus the item was looking highly amusing right up until the point where it grants the current wearer some protection from damage whilst occupying a position in a digestive tract. Although the protection isn't likely sufficient to outright negate damage from such an environment, if I see a tyrannosaurus gobbling up an annoying wannabe fiend, I'm more concerned about the poor dinosaur digesting the cretin as fast as possible than anxious to see some slow, sadistic, death-of-a-thousand-moments process which allows the swallowed cretin some chance to fight back and cause serious harm (and possibly escape) the dinosaur.
Given that otherwise most succubi prefer to avoid physical brawling (and have other means such as their inherent ability to jaunt into the ethereal to escape if swallowed) the item seems to me to be of very limited value.
Other Comments?
The original version (quoted above) leaves me none too clear on how entities such as elementals which lack conventional anatomy are supposed to be affected. The subsequent rewrite makes some attempt to address this, (creatures lacking appropriate anatomy are unaffected) but leaves it until the very end to say so instead of being up front with it.
Huh, spellcasting from the portrait - I hadn't thought of that one, it really does break the item. A lot. I'm gonna say that I should have explicitly listed that there's no spellcasting from out of the portrait.
And as to stuff in the painting - yeah, I was considering stating that to the user it seemed like they were in a small room with a large window, and all the items in it were real, to them.
It's still a cool idea, but yeah, some restrictions would help.
Along these lines - can a person in the painting take damage? Or be affected by mind affecting magic?
What happens if the painting is destroyed when someone's consciousness is in it? What if it's just physically damaged but not destroyed?
/also, for some me-directed pedantry for a second, I should have said "ripe for abuse" above. D'oh!
Hmm, May already? This item's a little rushed, but here's my item for may:
Portrait of a Spy
Aura faint divination, transmutation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DescriptionThis large painting contains a tremendously detailed image of one particular individual, and it’s eyes seem to follow you. When created, a portrait of a spy is attuned to the particular individual in the painting only . At any time after the painting’s creation, the wearer can transfer his consciousness into the painting by concentrating on doing so as a standard action. While the wearer’s consciousness is so transferred, his original body is helpless, though it remains standing or sitting if it was doing so while the user activated the portrait. During this time, the painting animates with the user's consiousness, allowing the wearer to see and hear everything her image would be able to, and even speak aloud through or interact with items within the portrait itself.
When the wearer's consiousness leaves the portrait, the image returns to it's original state, regardless of the position or state the character's image was in. While the user's consiousness is transferred, she remains vaguely aware of her original body's state, but is unable to control it. She may return to her original body as a swift action.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, enter image; Cost 10,000 gp
Nice Ronars! Dorian Gray was my first thought, even though that would be a very complicated item. This is one aspect of that, and therefore much more manageable.
Why an assassin's portrait? Presumeably to study the target. This is a complication though. The target would have to want a painting of the assassin. Or be tricked into the musuem where such a painting is displayed. or enter an established pre-determined by the assassin or maybe in the BBEG's waiting room (at which point I wonder why have the painting?) Mechanically I think this works, I think it is not an item most adventures can use (plot device is what I think SKR's rules called it. Baron: Honey? did you replace granpapa's portrait? Baroness: No dear. That red mantis outfit is much, much too garish for the throne-room. Though I do love they way his eyes follow you around the room. How are negotions going with the merchant's guild? An early Nick Logue PF module featured lots of creepy/animated art that might be worth locating for fine tuning.
I can see it working as one card in a CCG (or even a standard deck of cards) or some other way to get into a lot of different places. Most likely I think this would work as a minor word of recall, presuming I had my picture painted in front of a rack of cure serious wounds potions (depending on how you work the magic concern earlier :). Or as a teleporter who wanted to study any number of locations without having to get their themselves could send his portait on a world tour. An art theif could use it to case a joint, but he would have to get a Michaelangelo to make the painting for him.
A little plot device-ish, but a nice idea working here. O:)
...any practical value to a succubus...(and have other means such as their inherent ability to jaunt into the ethereal to escape if swallowed)...
Challenge accepted!
Disclaimer:Oh and thanks for the critique (and to SeanByrn too :)
There is good work is happening here. Keep it up guys. Keep practicing and then find that golden idea for the next competition. Good luck.
There is good work is happening here. Keep it up guys. Keep practicing and then find that golden idea for the next competition. Good luck.
Thanks :)
Toxin Trapper Bottle
Slot --; Price ZZ gp; Weight --
Description
A thin, slimy material coats the inside of this dark green bottle. The glass stopper looks like a mushroom with spots of white on a long red cap.
Pouring the material (full round action) onto the body of a creature causes the corpse to bubble, hiss and dissolve into a thick viscous liquid which evaporates 1d4 rounds later. Emptying the bottle in this way on certain corpses causes three mushrooms to grow as the liquid evaporates. The mushrooms grow from the corpse of any creature with a natural poison attack, size small or larger, as long as it is poured within one minute of death. A harvested mushroom can be ingested by a poisoned individual to prevent any further effects by soaking the poison from the victim’s system. Eating the mushroom can also prevent an individual from becoming poisoned, but this protection lasts only for three rounds. The mushrooms do not cure damage caused by poison. Eating a mushroom is a move action, feeding a mushroom to an unconscious person is a full round action, harvesting each mushroom is a standard action. Harvested mushrooms last for one week and the liquid reforms in the bottle the day after the third mushroom disappears or is consumed.
Construction
Requirements delay poison, purify food and drink; Cost 1000 gp
Toxin Trapper Bottle
A bit too much like the poisoner's retort from last year, but it is only a practice item. Still good to check you haven't come up with something too similar to existing items. (Learnt this the hard way.)
I found when reading through that I got stuck on 'Pouring the material', and went ‘what material?' My brain had filed the first sentence as flavor text and then forgotten it. I also got stuck on 'certain' creatures. I wanted to know about what types of creatures in the same sentence.
The rules text looks good. I'm curious about the dissolve corpses part of the item. Sounds like fun and I'm trying to think of useful things I could do with it (or how it could be abused by PCs).
You know that I’m going to call you on formatting :-) Thousand comma, no space on CL, etc. The more practice you get at fixing little formatting things, the more you notice them, and this makes it a lot more likely that you won’t miss them.
It’s a nice item, not sure if it has the thematic juice, but it has some cool potential. I haven’t heard or read of an item that dissolves corpses to create a beneficial substance.
Hope that helps,
Matt
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot --; Price 150 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Typically crafted from the fat glands of dire spiders, these wax candles do not shed any light when lit. Instead, each candle pours out a strange smoke in a uniform stream. Thick, viscous and heavier than air, an unattended candle will obscure and obstruct a 5' diameter area within four minutes. Finding tiny objects within this area requires a DC 18 Perception check and a standard action; finding anything smaller is nearly impossible without magical aid.
A user familiar with the candle may harvest the smoke as it is released, spooling it into lengths of rope. While lit, 25' of smoke is released each round. Each Smokespun Candle holds one thousand feet of smoke when new. Extinguishing the candle (a swift action) leaves the harvester with a single piece of rope-like smoke, which has one hit point and can be burst with a DC 18 Strength check. The smoke is slightly sticky, providing a +2 circumstance bonus to climb checks.
Regardless of use, the smoke will dissipate two hours after the candle is extinguished.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Web; Cost 75 gp
** spoiler omitted **
I think it's a cool item and an interesting idea, but leaves me wanting in a few respects.
One comment about your writing - watch the misplaced modifiers.
"Thick, viscous, and heavier than air, an unattended candle..." I presume you mean that the smoke is thick, viscous, etc., but this sentence actually says that the candle is thick, viscous, etc.
"Thick, viscous, and heavier than air, smoke from an unattended candle..." solves the modifier problem. (Why does the candle need to be unattended for this effect?)
"While lit, 25' of smoke is released..." Same problem - here the smoke is lit, not the candle. I would probably rework these sentences, but at least "While the candle is lit, 25' of smoke is released..." doesn't have the modifier problem.
Also, "be burst" is a bit awkward, and not a great word choice.
Mechanically, the book-keeping on this one is going to be a pain. I think it would work better if you give a total burning time (in rounds) for a candle, and an amount of smoke per round, which can be used to either obscure a 5' area or create 25' of rope. As it is, what happens if the candle burns for 3 minutes? Does that subtract from the 1000 feet of rope that can be created? Will it only obscure a 3' area? What if you've made 900 feet of rope - is there enough candle left to burn for four minutes and obscure a 5' area?
How much weight can the rope support before breaking? Or is this factored into the DC of the Strength check? (I don't know the rules here well, but what if someone tried to use the rope for climbing?)
How does the sticky effect work on things within an area that is being obscured by the smoke? Would it be harder to disarm someone? Bonus to grappling within the area?
Again, I think you've got the core of a really cool idea here, just work out the kinks! :)
Also, "be burst" is a bit awkward, and not a great word choice.
Point taken about my misplaced modifiers (and echoed by my professors), but the quoted section is actually straight from the core rulebook.
Mechanically, the book-keeping on this one is going to be a pain. I think it would work better if you give a total burning time (in rounds) for a candle, and an amount of smoke per round, which can be used to either obscure a 5' area or create 25' of rope.
Yes, that should have been made obvious. >_<
How much weight can the rope support before breaking? Or is this factored into the DC of the Strength check? (I don't know the rules here well, but what if someone tried to use the rope for climbing?)
There's a good reason for you not knowing - the rules don't exist. I left it as close to the core ropes as I could.
How does the sticky effect work on things within an area that is being obscured by the smoke? Would it be harder to disarm someone? Bonus to grappling within the area?
I tried addressing that with "obscure and obstruct." "Obstruct" is in the core rulebook under Terrain and Obstacles. It doesn't address all of your questions (I had them too), but I thought an obstructed square would address the stickiness in a substantial and elegant way. I'm not satisfied with it either, but it seemed the best way to avoid making the entry 700 words.
Thank you for the critiques. They are very helpful. Must... check... modifiers... the other kind....
Toxin Trapper Bottle;
For ZZgp, I'd buy anything! Careful with your formatting, even with practice items! You might submit it at ZZ instead of 2000gp like you seem to have intended it at, judging by construction costs.
As to the rest of the item itself, I agree the wording is really awkward. First, it sounds like the bottle is empty, and then you have to pour it on something. Then, you refer to certain creatures - then an effect - then you clairify what certain means. And finally, you list four different action expenditures in this item, spread between two places - one of which is a list of three. It's really awkward to read. And there are a lot of different time limits - but not one for something important, how long does the mushroom stay good for?
Another concern I have - sorry for seeming really picky - is that it sounds like it completely destroys the corpse. For 2000gp you force someone to upgrade to a much more powerful spell if they want to bring that person back from the dead.
It's not a bad idea overall, but I think you could have spent a little more time on the wording, and a little less time on trying to hit all the rules on the head.
Smokespun Candle
A lot of the concerns for this item have already been brought up - the biggest concern is listing some of the statistics of the rope, but not all. The single half-sentance "this rope is identical to silk rope except..." would have turned this from a good, cool item to a great one.
And then, all you would have needed to polish up would be the writing.
Smokespun Candle
A lot of the concerns for this item have already been brought up - the biggest concern is listing some of the statistics of the rope, but not all. The single half-sentance "this rope is identical to silk rope except..." would have turned this from a good, cool item to a great one.
I listed every stat it has for rope in the rulebook. Where should I have looked instead?
Still, that sentence actually helps the flavor of it. Describing the item to friends...it's not the easiest item to grok. Thanks you.
I listed every stat it has for rope in the rulebook. Where should I have looked instead?
Fair point. I suppose my comment must become, it *appears* as if it were missing information, despite being exactly as detailed as general equipment list rope. After all, this is rope-like smoke, not actually rope.
I listed every stat it has for rope in the rulebook. Where should I have looked instead?Fair point. I suppose my comment must become, it *appears* as if it were missing information, despite being exactly as detailed as general equipment list rope. After all, this is rope-like smoke, not actually rope.
I think this hits the nail on the head - I had the same thoughts.
Did any of the practise items posted in May present the slightest possible obvious use for a succubus dealing with a kazathri?
No. Not in the slightest. So no need to hurry here in getting on with any reviews for May.
I think this hits the nail on the head - I had the same thoughts.I listed every stat it has for rope in the rulebook. Where should I have looked instead?Fair point. I suppose my comment must become, it *appears* as if it were missing information, despite being exactly as detailed as general equipment list rope. After all, this is rope-like smoke, not actually rope.
D'oh! I meant the same thoughts as RonarsCorruption, that one might think that 'rope-like smoke' should be treated differently than actual rope.
Portrait of a Spy
Aura faint divination, transmutation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DescriptionThis large painting contains a tremendously detailed image of one particular individual, and it’s eyes seem to follow you. When created, a portrait of a spy is attuned to one particular individual – the one the painting depicts - and this can never be changed. At any time after the painting’s creation, the wearer can transfer his consciousness into the painting by concentrating on doing so as a standard action. While the wearer’s consciousness is so transferred, his original body is helpless, though it remains standing or sitting if it was doing so while the user activated the portrait. During this time, the painting animates with the user's consiousness, allowing the wearer to see and hear everything her image would be able to, and even speak aloud through or interact with items within the portrait itself.
When the wearer's consiousness leaves the portrait, the image returns to it's original state, regardless of the position or state the character's image was in. While the user's consiousness is transferred, she remains vaguely aware of her original body's state, but is unable to control it. She may return to her original body as a swift action.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, enter image; Cost 10,000 gp
This posts constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus, and in the language of the Abyss ‘tact’ is the method by which a demonic temptress’ domestic staff affixed her latest trophy to the wall, ‘unfair’ is a common Abyssal abbreviation for ‘funfair’, and ‘diplomacy’ – like a good china tea-service – is something best kept locked away in a cabinet for special occasions when friends or important guests come visiting.
Having made which quite clear, on to the next Disclaimer…
Does this practise item make a handy ornamental doorstop?
'Large painting' is a bit vague as far as a description goes, and invites all sorts of interesting questions as to whether that's large relative to the size of the subject, or large relative to an assumed viewer. The size of the painting (generalising) is going to impact the important question of whether you can wedge it in under the door handle?
But generally (unless they're things with enormous gold-leaf frames) paintings aren't very good for propping doors open, being a bit too lightweight. Plus it's so very easy for a frustrated employee to put a foot (intentionally or otherwise) through a canvas at floor-level...
What about any other practical value to a succubus?
Well, it seems likely to me that given the portrait's connection to one specific individual (apparently irrespective of what they may currently look like, if anyone else looks like them or if they've been baleful polymorphed into a snail, say) creating it probably involves mixing that individual's blood or ichor with the paints employed, or using brushes to paint it made out of their hair or some such arcane stuff. Which is to say that part of their essence is part of the portrait, permanently (or at least for as long as the portrait continues to exist). And whilst a succubus always loves a flattering picture of herself, it's always a very bad idea to let others get their hands on anything which gives them a link to a lady, as they almost always tend to end up abusing it by using it as scrying focuses, or worse still as part of summoning rituals...
So, no, it's not a good idea for a succubus to have even one of these things made of her. On the other hand, ones of other people (particularly of spies or other minions) are useful, in so far as they can be assembled into a gallery to provide a remote means for those spies or minions to report back to a succubus at prearranged times. Plus I figure that if an agent really badly messes up, you can probably at the very least traumatise him or her with the psychic backlash of destroying a painting of them with extreme prejudice.
Other Comments?
Hmm. I wonder if you can use the material obtained by rendering down a portrait as the basis for a clone attempt?
Toxin Trapper Bottle
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot --; Price ZZ gp; Weight --
Description
A thin, slimy material coats the inside of this dark green bottle. The glass stopper looks like a mushroom with spots of white on a long red cap.
Pouring the material (full round action) onto the body of a creature causes the corpse to bubble, hiss and dissolve into a thick viscous liquid which evaporates 1d4 rounds later. Emptying the bottle in this way on certain corpses causes three mushrooms to grow as the liquid evaporates. The mushrooms grow from the corpse of any creature with a natural poison attack, size small or larger, as long as it is poured within one minute of death. A harvested mushroom can be ingested by a poisoned individual to prevent any further effects by soaking the poison from the victim’s system. Eating the mushroom can also prevent an individual from becoming poisoned, but this protection lasts only for three rounds. The mushrooms do not cure damage caused by poison. Eating a mushroom is a move action, feeding a mushroom to an unconscious person is a full round action, harvesting each mushroom is a standard action. Harvested mushrooms last for one week and the liquid reforms in the bottle the day after the third mushroom disappears or is consumed.
Construction
Requirements delay poison, purify food and drink; Cost 1000 gp
This posts constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus, and in the language of the Abyss ‘tact’ is the method by which a demonic temptress’ domestic staff affixed her latest trophy to the wall, ‘unfair’ is a common Abyssal abbreviation for ‘funfair’, and ‘diplomacy’ – like a good china tea-service – is something best kept locked away in a cabinet for special occasions when friends or important guests come visiting.
Having made which quite clear, on to the next Disclaimer…
Does this practise item make a handy ornamental doorstop?
A small (or at least weightless) dark green glass bottle... Not really, no. Conceivably if there's just the right clearance between door and floor, one might use it as an impromptu wedge but otherwise it's pretty useless for this purpose.
What about any other practical value to a succubus?
It provides antidotes to poisons, yadda, yadda... You know, succubi are immune to poisons, some of their favourite pets (paladins) are also pretty robust, and most shapes and sizes of house servant or other minions which happen to be even remotely demonic are also immune (or sufficiently expendable for a succubus not to care a straw about their demise). I'm really not seeing much use for this aspect of the item.
Now depending on the culinary qualities of the mushrooms, I see some slight possibilities for use. The bebiliths you sent out shopping forgot to buy the mushrooms for your dinner-party? SQUISH! Still, that's likely to require a lot of expendable minions with alchemical poison abilities (and a lot of bottles) just to make one tureen of mushroom soup...
Now, if it doesn't leave a stain on the floor or obvious scent in the air, I grant the item could be handy for disposing of an inconvenient body in a hurry...
Other Comments?
The wording's not very clear on whether you can use it to 'universal solvent' living or undead creatures. I take it (given the price) that it only functions (in terms of dissolution) on what passes for 'mortal remains' unanimated by any kind of force at all.
At RPGSuccubus's reccomendation, I'm going to make my item for June the
kazathri cracker
Kazathri Cracker
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 1400 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Used almost exclusively during kazathri, the demon festival upon which one demon ascends into a higher rank of demonhood - Babau to Succubi, Succubus to Nabasu or even higher - the kazathri cracker is a tightly bound human entrail wrapped around a ball of nether-energy. When the ends are pulled as a standard action, the cracker bursts - filling a 30ft radius area around the user with swirling flames and crackling electricity. This burst does 5d10 fire damage and 5d10 electricity damage to all creatures in the burst - which demons typically find particularly enjoyable. Especially when mortals are around.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detonate; Cost 700 gp
Okay. that's a little SIAC. I'll see if I can come up with a real item before the end of the month.
Smokespun Candle
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot --; Price 150 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Typically crafted from the fat glands of dire spiders, these wax candles do not shed any light when lit. Instead, each candle pours out a strange smoke in a uniform stream. Thick, viscous and heavier than air, an unattended candle will obscure and obstruct a 5' diameter area within four minutes. Finding tiny objects within this area requires a DC 18 Perception check and a standard action; finding anything smaller is nearly impossible without magical aid.A user familiar with the candle may harvest the smoke as it is released, spooling it into lengths of rope. While lit, 25' of smoke is released each round. Each Smokespun Candle holds one thousand feet of smoke when new. Extinguishing the candle (a swift action) leaves the harvester with a single piece of rope-like smoke, which has one hit point and can be burst with a DC 18 Strength check. The smoke is slightly sticky, providing a +2 circumstance bonus to climb checks.
Regardless of use, the smoke will dissipate two hours after the candle is extinguished.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Web; Cost 75 gp
This posts constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus, and in the language of the Abyss ‘tact’ is the method by which a demonic temptress’ domestic staff affixed her latest trophy to the wall, ‘unfair’ is a common Abyssal abbreviation for ‘funfair’, and ‘diplomacy’ – like a good china tea-service – is something best kept locked away in a cabinet for special occasions when friends or important guests come visiting.
Having made which quite clear, on to the next Disclaimer…
Does this practise item make a handy ornamental doorstop?
No. Like the previous item, the Toxin Bottle, depending on dimensions a Smokespun Candle might make a wedge at best. Now, some posters might posit that there is the whole question of 'can you use a strand of (smokespun) rope to tie a door open?' but given that the rope produced is slightly sticky (ick!) most succubi would hand handling the candle to get rope to a minion and, all things said and done, it's probably a lot less time consuming just to order a minion to prop open a door rather than spend time messing around with this candle to make rope.
What about any other practical value to a succubus?
The item does present certain possibilities to a highly imaginative succubus who has hobbies which involve any notable amount of time in a dungeon environment. However, since that involves discussions of techniques which are secrets sacred to the Order of the Buttery Crumpet, I shan't go into them here; and for a succubus who doesn't entertain guests on a regular basis in such situations, to be frank the data presented regarding this item doesn't suggest much obvious use.
Other Comments?
Based on the figures given for length of 'rope' producible, I figure that on most prime material worlds such a candle is going to 'burn' for somewhere between six and seven minutes - or for between half a dozen seconds and sixty million years in some parts of the Abyss. Sadly no indication is made of how it interacts with a large quantity of molten basalt.
At RPGSuccubus's reccomendation, I'm going to make my item for June the
kazathri crackerKazathri Cracker
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot --; Price 1400 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
DescriptionUsed almost exclusively during kazathri, the demon festival upon which one demon ascends into a higher rank of demonhood - Babau to Succubi, Succubus to Nabasu or even higher - the kazathri cracker is a tightly bound human entrail wrapped around a ball of nether-energy. When the ends are pulled as a standard action, the cracker bursts - filling a 30ft radius area around the user with swirling flames and crackling electricity. This burst does 5d10 fire damage and 5d10 electricity damage to all creatures in the burst - which demons typically find particularly enjoyable. Especially when mortals are around.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detonate; Cost 700 gpOkay. that's a little SIAC. I'll see if I can come up with a real item before the end of the month.
It might also trigger another penalty - some judges have dinged things meant for to use by the GM. I'd still love to have one as a high-level fighter or barbarian, but not giving the judges an excuse for dismissing you is important.
Shouldn't it also have a reflex save?
True. It's just that a) critiquing items can be as instructional as creating them, and b) I'm remorseful for not providing more feedback last year. I've been checking this thread constantly since the first, hoping to practice/rectify past mistakes.
You're right on it being a DM item, though I did make that choice deliberately. Not deliberate was forgetting the reflex save. That's a big advantage for the item over... well, just about everything.
And yes, that was by no means serious. I'm working on my real item now. Or, coming up with, more like.
Crackling Fan
Aura moderate evocation, faint transmutation; CL 11th
Slot --; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
The pattern of flames on this wide silk fan is constantly shifting, like an eternally burning flame was captured in fabric and thread. Three times per day, as a standard action, the wielder of this fan can send out a scorching burst of air in a 15ft cone, doing 4d6 fire and 4d6 subdual damage and knocking prone all targets in the cone. A DC 18 Fortitude save halves this damage and negates being knocked prone.
If the wielder of the fan continues to concentrate; the second round, a 10 ft. by 10 ft. area within the cone fills with a cloud of burning, choking smoke that blocks vision and does 3d6 fire damage to all creatures within. Each round the wielder continues to concentrate, they can move this cloud up to 15ft, doing 1d6 less damage each round - until the end of the fourth round the cloud disperses under it's own power. A strong wind can cause the cloud to disperse early, despite the concentration of the wielder.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, pyrotechnics, river of wind, sirocco; Cost 40,000 gp
Toxin Trapper Bottle
A bit too much like the poisoner's retort from last year, but it is only a practice item. Still good to check you haven't come up with something too similar to existing items. (Learnt this the hard way.)
You know that I’m going to call you on formatting :-) Thousand comma, no space on CL, etc. The more practice you get at fixing little formatting things, the more you notice them, and this makes it a lot more likely that you won’t miss them.
Matt
Actually it was the number of poison items that made me think of an antidote item. I did forget about the antidote option of the retort. This is too close for a real item, but for practice... meh.
I cannae believe I am still missing those formatting issues! I did go double check my entry and whew I did get it right there :)I owe three reviews and a rewrite, but it will have to wait until after Paizocon.
** spoiler omitted **
Nice job. I see no description of the candle but I do see what it is made of. That might be treading into backstory, but as a description it might work. Mechanics concerns have already been discussed. It reminds me of one of my favorite SS items, the spider hook (year two?) while still being different. Nice job.
At RPGSuccubus's reccomendation, I'm going to make my item for June the
kazathri crackerKazathri Cracker
I am not sure how detonate works, but the flavor does remind me of the vrocks dance of ruin. Though this was intended as gag item, I think combining the SIAC with the vrock ability would be a wise choice. :)
The pattern of flames on this wide silk fan is constantly shifting, like an eternally burning flame was captured in fabric and thread.
I think this sentence can be cut in half and in doing so make the voice more active. This wide, silk fan captures patterns of eternally burning flames in fabric and thread. This only uses words you put out there and is not great, but hopefully illustrates my point :). Generally I think this is a good item, but I wonder why the various cloud/fog spells get ignored when it seems pretty close to many of them. I would like to see the cone grow with concentration, instead of a section in the cone moving forward (ymmv). I like the ablative touch, it is nice.
REWRITE
Toxin Trapper Bottle
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot --; Price 9,000 gp; Weight --
Description
The glass stopper of this dark green bottle looks like a mushroom with white spots on a long red cap. A slimy liquid sloshes inside. Pouring the liquid (full round action) onto the body of a creature causes the corpse to bubble, hiss and dissolve into a thick, viscous liquid which evaporates 1d4 rounds later. Such corpses can not be reanimated or communicated with.
The corpse of any size small or larger creature with a natural poison attack, dissolved this way grows three mushrooms as the liquid evaporates. These mushrooms soak the poison from an individual’s system when ingested, preventing any further poison effects. Ingesting a mushroom can also prevent an individual from becoming poisoned, but this protection lasts only three rounds. The mushrooms do not cure damage caused by poison.
Harvested mushrooms last four rounds unless stored in the bottle, which instead last for a week. The liquid in the bottle reforms the day after all the mushrooms disappear or are consumed.
Construction
Requirements Craft wondrous item, delay poison, purify food and drink; Cost 4,500 gp
Huh, that is a better phrasing of my descriptive text. I'll try to keep it more active next time.
Having the flames build would have been a good idea. I was more thinking on one great sweep of the fan would cause this cloud of hot gas to roll along - but that doesn't really justify spending so many actions to maintain it. Especially at the price of the item.
It feels so long ago since i wrote that, man.