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Oh, yeah, You Suck was unabashedly dark, with vampires that were unquestionably evil, but managed to be hilarious from start to end. Totally recommended. I hadn't read Bite Me and I fear that if I did, I'd be distressed by You Suck (though likely have a better grasp on some of the things), but You Suck strongly resembles a novel form of Lost Boys, only funnier and without the possibility of redemption/healing/freedom.Douglas Adams was good. Silly, and he really trails off in quality in that quintet as time goes on, though. The detective books don't hold up with time either. Still; he was way ahead of his time.
Terry Pratchett took that style of writing and combined it with actual plots you can follow and characters you give a crap about.
With Pratchett dead, Christopher Moore is my new favorite living author. He has the same style, but does more historical fiction or other weird fantasies and sci-fis that aren't quite as traditional.
Lamb:The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Best Pal is easily one of my top three novels I've read. He didn't a lot of research, it was REALLY funny, and it had a good plot, even if you know how it ends. Apparently, Mary was the original MILF, according to Biff.
His three vampire books, Bite Me, You Suck, and Bloodsucking Fiends, are also quite entertaining.
What do all you guys think of Tom Holt? For the comedic fantasical/prosaic/set_in_the_UK authors, I prefer him to Robert Rankin. Well the one Rankin book I finished.
EDIT: Naked reviews that could take off... (not presented by me however)
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If I was a vampire, I'd do the whole evening dress/cape/crumbling caste/bad Mitteleuropean accent type thing, and I'd do it dashed well, if I do say so myself.
So long as the lady vampires were like in the classic low budget schlock; Razor Blade Smile :P
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Good lord, so much has happened, I don't know where to begin...
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I have a new second-favorite word:
Bathykolpian.
It is following closely on the heels of my favorite for over a decade now:
Calipygian.
Google them; the results are quite pleasant. It's also a way to compliment a woman without looking like a creep.
"Madam, you are not only pleasant of demeanor, but bathtykolpian and calipygian as well."
...is much less likely to get you slapped, I imagine, than...
"Girl, not only are you nice, your twins are enormous, and your butt looks amazing!"
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I dunno, most women that have had twins, would love to hear they have a nice butt, even if it was a stranger.
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Bit of a euphemism, given for some reason t@*% is is filtered.
But ass isn't. Weird.
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Because no one asked, my three biggest fears
1. Heights (except climbing trees)
2. Boats (except canoes)
3. Bridges (especially long bridges and extension bridges).
so...no taking the bridge into manhattan when you visit ny, huh? You'll have to stick to the l train and other subterranean lines.
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No, I don't let my fears dictate where I go.
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Bit of a euphemism, given for some reason t@$! is is filtered.
But ass isn't. Weird.
Try saying dick van d@@#, poor guy, a legend of american cinema, and he can't even use his real name. :-(
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Good lord, so much has happened, I don't know where to begin...
ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY ICY
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I have a new second-favorite word:
Bathykolpian.
It is following closely on the heels of my favorite for over a decade now:
Calipygian.
Google them; the results are quite pleasant. It's also a way to compliment a woman without looking like a creep.
"Madam, you are not only pleasant of demeanor, but bathtykolpian and calipygian as well."
...is much less likely to get you slapped, I imagine, than...
"Girl, not only are you nice, your twins are enormous, and your butt looks amazing!"
I like it!
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Overheard in Limey's office.
(To me) "Hey, will you babysit this lit cake while I go for a cigarette?"
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tracking packages is fun... when they update tracking information.
When they don't... not so much.
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Nope, not me, my fear is so great it can't be rationalized with.
I should clarify: I'd still be afraid, I'd just feel more comfortable about by unreasoning terror and be more ready to do stuff for others. But I don't want "flight" anyway.
As I said: it's all about reality revision.
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I'd like super speed or super strength, especially with my understanding of leverage and such, i could really have fun with it. :-)
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Lesson learned, don't post anywhere but here (especially trying to get people to get along) until well after morning coffee, or possibly at all.
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Now, off to reread the beginning of Runelords for Tammy's backstory. :-)
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crap... must keep ahead of Tac's favoriting dreadnaught...
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I.. i think i did it...
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What do all you guys think of Tom Holt? For the comedic fantasical/prosaic/set_in_the_UK authors, I prefer him to Robert Rankin. Well the one Rankin book I finished.
I actually don't know either of those authors. Tom Holt has fun titles, though. :)
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I.. i think i did it...
Nya-hah-hah~! Surprise favorite, suckah~!
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D'oh!
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Another new day, another batch of threads to hide.
Is it 2012 again?
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Try saying dick van d&*&, poor guy, a legend of american cinema, and he can't even use his real name. :-(Bit of a euphemism, given for some reason t@$! is is filtered.
But ass isn't. Weird.
You know, that could mean a facial hair style, also, or a synonym for dam or levee.
It's actually pretty homophobic to censor the word, when you think about it, because it's Paizo assuming youre using it for an insult and not it's original intent.
Anyone up for a British smoke, while we're at it?
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You mean I can bum a f++?
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I don't worry about it so much, I only have so many Dick Van D+%* jokes, maybe if I was as old as Sharoth, NobodysHome or Ragadolf I might care a little more. :-P
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Re: Vampirism - it is one of many fictional/supernatural maladies I have theorized my response to.
Honestly, I think very little of my life would change, other than obviously employment and diet. I'm already pretty nocturnal by preference and nature, I don't go out or travel much.
Probably the biggest change, funny enough, would be being unable to go to church.
The friends thing is even less of an issue these days - as long as you keep your internet active, you should be fine.
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Sparkling in sunlight would be awful.
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No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Let us be reasonable people and not acknowledge this conversation thread further
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It's cool, I can handle this professionally, keep it together, no prob, I'm cool.....
f@$& yes! Three days in a row over 45 degrees this week!!! This week! And not at the end of the forecast either, no tease here this is really, really happening!!!!! S!!#! S&@$! Keep it together, three days, and it's all mine!!!!
I'm still waiting until Friday to release Jimmy the Groundhog's family, no need to be hasty after all. :-)
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Re: Vampirism - it is one of many fictional/supernatural maladies I have theorized my response to.
Honestly, I think very little of my life would change, other than obviously employment and diet. I'm already pretty nocturnal by preference and nature, I don't go out or travel much.
Probably the biggest change, funny enough, would be being unable to go to church.
The friends thing is even less of an issue these days - as long as you keep your internet active, you should be fine.
My church live streams their services, and considering I disdain praise and worship music (every church I've ever been in, without exception), I don't think I'd mind that part of vampirism.
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Sparkling in sunlight would be awful.
Vampires die in the sun. Well...really die.
Sparkly blood drinkers are not vampires, no matter what one hack writer says. Those are, at best, Wight variants.
Also, I'm not hacking it because it's a vampire story with romance written by a woman. Sunshine was a great book, for example, and it has all those elements.
S.M. is just a horrible writer who took a dump on established century old canon.
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That never happens in literature. :-D
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Yes, but usually it's done by authors who aren't, at best, slightly below mediocre.
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I don't worry about it so much, I only have so many Dick Van D~$$ jokes, maybe if I was as old as Sharoth, NobodysHome or Ragadolf I might care a little more. :-P
I remember little Dickie, when he was but a tyke...
Wow. You can get away with murder if you know what to say...
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I love the filter personally, I wouldn't swear so f%%@ing much if it weren't there. :-)
I also love refreshing to see the symbols f#+~ing change, and then there's the g&*+&+n s+$~ f*%*ing random smurfs, f++$ing A!
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Sparkling in sunlight would be awful.Vampires die in the sun. Well...really die.
Sparkly blood drinkers are not vampires, no matter what one hack writer says. Those are, at best, Wight variants.
Also, I'm not hacking it because it's a vampire story with romance written by a woman. Sunshine was a great book, for example, and it has all those elements.
S.M. is just a horrible writer who took a dump on established century old canon.
That made me think, and this is really a question for military Fawlties. It's quite an odd question, and the question is:
Has anyone ever pooed down the barrel of an artillery piece (before or after it was fired, not during)? If so, what happened?
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Curses! Ready to finish Tammy's story and Tiny T-Rex usurped the computer, I could boot him off now, but then I don't get quiet me time... the story can wait.
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Leave it to Limey to come up with the one corner case where I wish I had joined the armed forces.
If only, to s%#$ in a cannon.
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Has anyone ever pooed down the barrel of an artillery piece (before or after it was fired, not during)? If so, what happened?
I'm afraid that was not part of my military experience. My guess is that if you do it before, your excrement would incinerate due to the heat. If you do it afterward and this assuming you do it after the barrel has cooled. You are going to piss off the guy(s) who will be cleaning the weapon.
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Sparkling in sunlight would be awful.Vampires die in the sun. Well...really die.
Sparkly blood drinkers are not vampires, no matter what one hack writer says. Those are, at best, Wight variants.
Also, I'm not hacking it because it's a vampire story with romance written by a woman. Sunshine was a great book, for example, and it has all those elements.
S.M. is just a horrible writer who took a dump on established century old canon.
I would say the fan base went to more uncomfortable extremes than the author ever did. I won't be reading her stuff regularly, but there are tons of things attributed to her works that appeared in fanfiction, not the original text.
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My church live streams their services, and considering I disdain praise and worship music (every church I've ever been in, without exception), I don't think I'd mind that part of vampirism.Re: Vampirism - it is one of many fictional/supernatural maladies I have theorized my response to.
Honestly, I think very little of my life would change, other than obviously employment and diet. I'm already pretty nocturnal by preference and nature, I don't go out or travel much.
Probably the biggest change, funny enough, would be being unable to go to church.
The friends thing is even less of an issue these days - as long as you keep your internet active, you should be fine.
Oh mine does as well. To avoid getting into too much religious discussion, I'll just say there's some things you have to be physically present for.
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Oh, man.
If all water used for a baptism is considered holy water...one slip and fall near the wading pool and you're in for a rough time.
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Tammy’s name is Tammerine, as mama would asy, it’s like if a tangerine and tambourine were blessed by the sun, mama always was full of s#&#.
Tammy was born in Sandpoint, Tammy has a twin, Tibbedo, i call him Tibs, he’s alright, no one else gets Tammy, he’s gone now, disappered across the crown without Tammy, that’s okay though, Tammy’s better off on her own. still, Tammy misses Tibs.
Tammy had a puppy too, Wiggles, Tammy loved Wiggles, Tammy and Wiggles went everywhere.
Then the Goblins came, Tammy hates Goblins, Tammy was 12, it was the Swallowtail festival, that bag of hot air Father Zantus was prattling on about dreams and Desna, Tibs was up by the stage, Tibs was always a dreamer, like grandpa. Tammy was by the food wagon, feeding Wiggles venison, when the Goblins attacked, poor Wiggles, so brave! He set on the nearest goblin when the little a@%+#$%, he set poor Wiggles on fire, Tammy wasn't scared, Tammy's smart, Tammy can put him out with her mind, then the dwarf, that piece of s@$& dwarf kicked poor Wiggles into the trough, mama said he was only trying to help, but mama always was full of s&!&. As poor Wiggles died in Tammy's tiny arms, she felt pain, deep angry pain, Tammy decided then, others will feel her pain as keenly, if not more, then her.
But not Sandpoint, nope Sandpoint is too small to properly grasp Tammy's pain, the world will feel Tammy's pain, and Tammy knows just where to start...
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I dunno, I think I could've made it a lot longer...
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You're fine - The jist of it is in there. Motive, personality, family.
Nobody wants to read an amateur novel for a backstory. I usually ask for a paragraph from my players. Maybe half a page if they're feeling squirley.
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Oh, I know, I was just joking about the overly long complicated stories that are cliche. :-)
I actually set out to make it short, and more like what an actual 1st level character might have. :-)
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Tried doing a campaign with some brothers a few years ago, and one shows up with a twenty two page background. I said "this is for first level" "I know, if it was higher level I really could've gotten into his background a little bit more" "but, it's for first level.."
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That's the kind of sicko who usually makes a purposefully gimped character and hides during combat because "it fits their character more."