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Well, in "news that only LM can truly appreciate", when I moved to Davis and needed to get rid of the signs, I didn't want to be wasteful...
...so we snuck back into the facility and returned two full carloads of signs to them...
EDIT: And there are several key ways to ensure guards don't want to see you...
And shame on you, Paizo! "Snuck" is officially a dictionary word, so why do you keep marking it as wrong?
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I never got a felony, I got a ticket for having pot once but even then I was taking the fall so my friend wouldn't get kicked out of college.
I'd do it again every time.
Oh, we were never caught doing anything illegal, but we have plenty of "hilarity" getting caught doing perfectly legal stuff. I'll list a few from mildest to worst.
From the length of things it looks like it's going to be three posts.
It's
(1) My friend was driving us through the El Cerrito Plaza parking lot (private property) in a junkyard-worthy 1974 Chevy Impala. It was chugging along at maybe 8 mph but then he took a turn too hard and the tired screamed in protest. We howled with laughter. We were literally wondering how he could have possibly screeched the tires at such a low speed when the siren blared and we got pulled over.
So yeah. Here's poor Yelly (he could yell so loud you could hear him at just over half a mile in the city. It was incredible.). He's been pulled over by the cops in his mom's car. And there are four punk rockers paralyzed with laughter in the rest of his seats. We could barely breathe.
We'd almost recovered when the cop walked up and drawled, "Goin' kind of fast, weren't you, son?"
That was all she wrote for us. We couldn't talk any more.
As Yelly desperately tried to explain that it was his crappy car that made the screeching noises, the cop glared at us and snarled, "Your friends think this is kind of funny, don't they? How'd they feel if I were to arrest you?"
Of COURSE we all had to scream, "Yes! Yes! Do it! Please! Arrest all of us!" (We had no plans for the evening and it honestly sounded like fun.)
Then, holy crap, he asked us whether we had any weapons.
At that point we were rolling around, begging him to search the car and suggesting that he tear the seats open looking for contraband drugs while Yelly got paler and paler thinking of what his mother was going to do to him, which was impressive, since he's half-Japanese.
At that point the cop knew that anything he did would get him in trouble. Tons of witnesses watching the idiocy in the parking lot. Kids begging to be arrested and for him to search the car, making it obvious they weren't hiding anything. We obeyed every order, got out of the car, got into the car, I think he patted a couple of us down, and then he just stormed off, warning Yelly that, "I'd better not see you driving around this parking lot like this again."
I don't think he ever did.
We used to go out shooting air rifles all the time. Our most common pastime was going to Luckys, getting a few cases of the undrinkable generic sodas and beers of the time (Lucky Lager and Craigmont Diet Cola), going up into Tilden park, and shooting bottles and cans (and port-a-potties if anyone was dumb enough to use one) until the whole area reeked and then heading home.
One day the gang wanted to go have an air rifle fight on some open land one of them knew about east of Tilden. I had no desire to lose an eye doing something that stupid, plus I had to work, so they went on their way. Got all dressed up in their heaviest leathers (including a lot of kevlar) helmets, and gloves, went to the field, and started crawling around and shooting at each other.
Apparently, right in the mayor of Orinda's back yard.
So, a full SWAT team got called in for an assassination attempt on the mayor, complete with helicopter. Most of my friends had brains in their heads and did not screw around in the slightest. Guns down. Hands on head. Standing in the clear where they were completely visible. Except my best friend, who for some reason took it as a challenge to try to avoid a SWAT team and a helicopter.
After 2 minutes of nonsense, the SWAT commander told the rest of my friends, "I don't care what you were doing here. If you can't get him to come out I'm giving orders to shoot."
I have no idea whether he was serious, but considering what we've learned about police in the 30 years since then, he probably was. But my friends desperately begged and pleaded and got Best Friend to come out and surrender.
So they got arrested, and all the information was taken down, and they were given an order to appear before the D.A. And the D.A. reviewed their statements and the evidence, said, "I don't have time for this," and sent them home with no charges filed.
A couple of blocks later we noticed that the vice principal of the high school and the school narc were following us. We had no idea why; we'd all graduated and She-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless wasn't with us, so there were no high schoolers in the car.
We ignored them turned down Solano and got about halfway down when a cop car cut us off diagonally, we slammed on the brakes, and they were out with guns drawn pointed straight at us. A quick check behind and we'd been surrounded by three cars and there were six officers with guns out covering us.
So, Future Cop and I very carefully obeyed the exact instructions we were given. Hands on head. Out of the car. And even at 5'6", try climbing out of the back seat of a VW Beetle with your hands on your head and a bunch of guns pointed at you. Sociopath refused to get out.
I am thankful that Albany is a small town and Albany cops are less prone to violence than cops in larger towns. Instead of going after Sociopath with force, they kept him covered while they got Future Cop and me clear and patted down, then told US to convince Sociopath to get out. So, we managed that, but then he refused to take his hands out of his pockets, even after they told him they'd shoot him if he didn't. We told them he was unarmed and he was just a d***. They pulled the same trick as in Part II: "If you can't get him to take his hands out of his pockets, you're going to have to watch us shoot him."
I think our answer chilled them: "Then you're going to have to shoot him, because we can't make that a****** do anything he doesn't feel like doing, and right now he feels like messing with you."
I have no idea what might have happened if the vice principal hadn't stepped in. Here were two of his honor students being held at gunpoint, one of whom had never had a disciplinary issue in 7 years at school. He walked up and spoke quietly to the officers, then one of them lowered his gun and patted down Sociopath. Determining that he was clean, they searched the car, confiscated the weapons (with no charged filed), and let us go on our way.
It took Future Cop 8 weeks for us to get our guns back, even though we hadn't done a single illegal thing.
It was an unpleasant experience.
Apparently, right in the mayor of Orinda's back yard.
One of my best friends in college was from Orinda...
With all the talk of traffic lights, I feel obligated to bring this up. The first landscaping place I worked at was two blocks down the street.
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And shame on you, Paizo! "Snuck" is officially a dictionary word, so why do you keep marking it as wrong?
Reminds me of the incident where J.R.R.Tolkien was trying to get either The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings published, and the publisher said that the book couldn’t be printed because - according to the Oxford Dictionary - Tolkien had used dwarves instead of dwarfs. Tolkien responded by stating that he (Tolkien) was the one who wrote the Oxford Dictionary (which was true), and that the publisher had no right to correct him.
Ah, life in the Bay Area!
NobodysHome: Well, today's supposed to be the last cold and miserable day...
...at least until July.
Snuck?
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A swarm of corpse-fed earthworms.
A swarm of corpse-fed earthworms.
It was trimmed down a bit, sadly.
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I have to admit, I don't know how much more "simplification" of my sign-in I can take from Global Megacorporation's IT department. They keep telling me they're doing all this for me so I can eventually enjoy "passwordless" sign-on:
12 months ago: 2 passwords.
- I signed in to my Windows domain, then used my single sign-on (SSO) to access all corporate resources.
6 months ago: 2 passwords plus two-factor authentication.
- Same deal, except now I had to use a phone app to confirm my SSO login.
4 months ago: 2 passwords, one of which had to be at least 16 characters long and contain no recognizable strings, plus two-factor authentication.
- I could tirade at massive length about how requiring users to change their passwords every 90 days is one of the worst security blunders you can make: It encourages users to use simpler passwords, re-use passwords across sites, and write down their passwords in insecure locations (Google Drive, anyone?). Using an AI filter so even something like "F00d" is considered illegal makes the passwords completely incomprehensible to people, and thus they'll use simple numbers (pi) or write their passwords down.
This month: 3 passwords, one of which had to be at least 16 characters long and contain no recognizable strings, plus two-factor authentication.
- Same deal, except now I have to use a Windows PIN to sign in to Windows, but I need to remember my Windows domain password to change any Windows settings.
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Speaking of which, after whining about it excessively I set up fingerprint recognition on my iPad again. Just like always, it worked for about an hour after I set it up and then never again.
I've got to have some Mighty Morphin Fingerprints the way fingerprint recognition works for me...
EDIT: I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with callouses. CY, David, BNW, and anyone else who works with their hands all day to the point of having significant callouses on your fingers, do you have issues with fingerprint recognition as well?
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Well, they still haven't reached the point where you have to spill the blood of your firstborn each time you log in.
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Well, they still haven't reached the point where you have to spill the blood of your firstborn each time you log in.
You realize that we're talking about my firstborn here, don't you?
NobodysHome: Hey, Impus Minor! The dentist sent your wisdom teeth home with you. Do you want them for any reason?
Impus Minor: No! Why would I?
NH: Hey, Impus Major! Do you want your brother's teeth?
Impus Major: Oh, boy, do I!
I have no idea what he's going to do with them, but he was cacklingly ecstatic to get them.
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I have no idea what he's going to do with them, but he was cacklingly ecstatic to get them.
*sigh* They both are going to be villains in the end, aren't they?
I swear, sending a young man with a negative Perception bonus to do your shopping for you in Berkeley is perilous. Because of the staggering profit margin on niche foodstuffs, everything at eye level in every store is some kind of niche product. And unfortunately, Impus Major frequently misses these labels.
Gluten-free, sugar-free, vegan cookies? Check. And yep, these we ended up having to throw out.
No-sodium chicken broth? Check. And you'd think you could just add salt, but no, whatever they did, it was terrible and another throwaway.
Low-sodium beef broth? Check. And at least it was salvageable.
Chocolate-free candy using carob instead? Check. Another throw-away. I don't know how he got fooled into buying this one. But "chocolate-free chocolate" really is a thing.
And this tirade is brought to you by his latest acquisition: Lactose-free milk. At least it's perfectly drinkable. But I don't appreciate spending an extra $2 on a half gallon of milk for something totally unnecessary for our family.
Ah, well. He's (slowly) learning.
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Well, they still haven't reached the point where you have to spill the blood of your firstborn each time you log in.You realize that we're talking about my firstborn here, don't you?
NobodysHome: Hey, Impus Minor! The dentist sent your wisdom teeth home with you. Do you want them for any reason?
Impus Minor: No! Why would I?
NH: Hey, Impus Major! Do you want your brother's teeth?
Impus Major: Oh, boy, do I!I have no idea what he's going to do with them, but he was cacklingly ecstatic to get them.
They didn't let me keep my tooth when it was removed!
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Speaking of which, after whining about it excessively I set up fingerprint recognition on my iPad again. Just like always, it worked for about an hour after I set it up and then never again.
I've got to have some Mighty Morphin Fingerprints the way fingerprint recognition works for me...
EDIT: I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with callouses. CY, David, BNW, and anyone else who works with their hands all day to the point of having significant callouses on your fingers, do you have issues with fingerprint recognition as well?
No fingerprint recognition is used where I work, I just pull the cord and go.
Otherwise the last time I was fingerprinted Bill Clinton was president.
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I have no idea what he's going to do with them, but he was cacklingly ecstatic to get them.
Did he ever figure out about the tooth fairy?
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I had a really large fighting stick from the ren fair that I used as a walking stick, 1 inch diameter ~3 inch diameter octagonal
I was coming back from a small hike along the road (so, walk through town to woods, walk through woods, walk home) and there was a squirrel on the side of the road that had been hit by a car. The squirrel doesn't seem in shock enough to go in the shirt, so I start jogging home to get a car and a box.
Cops are not happy seeing the rather large person with a giant stick running through down. I get pulled over. Lean on the stick puffing a bit "Hey whats up?"
"Whats with the stick? You're kinda freaking people out running with the thing. We got two calls
"Oh. There's a squirrel back there that got hit by a car. I was going to go home get a box. One of the cops mention having seen the squirrel.
"Whats the stick for?
"Walking stick. Pole vaulting. Mugger deterrent....
"Well you can't have that if you're going to hit people with it.
"no. deterrent. The idea is i DON"T wind up ... you know what, no time. They seize it. get a receipt. Tell me not to go pick up the squirrel.
Of course, run/walk home, get dad show up in the truck (no sign of the squirrel though)
Walk to the police station a few days later. Guy asks for id. Is shocked when I say I'm 16 and no learners permit (six foot with a full beard). But did you steal a giant oak octagonal walking stick from anyone ELSE this week... Get it back. Start walking home.
Of course get pulled over. Alright enough of this.... " I JUST got this back from the police station. I didn't have time to argue last time but right now I got ALL day..."
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EDIT: I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with callouses. CY, David, BNW, and anyone else who works with their hands all day to the point of having significant callouses on your fingers, do you have issues with fingerprint recognition as well?
Possible but hard to tell apart from the general druid aura that will cause electronic malfunctions.
Speaking of being pseudo-Lawful, I typically appreciate our city's laissez-faire attitude about parking enforcement, but sometimes I feel they go too far.
After a multitude of complaints over the years about lack of sufficient notice, this year the city went above and beyond to notify us of our day of street closure: Letters in the mail. Flyers on our porch. Sawhorses with No Parking signs on them 72 hours in advance. And the 72 hours is critical, because Albany has a law that you're not allowed to keep your car parked in one place for 72 hours, and, as one officer put it, "We will never enforce that law unless a homeowner is calling about a car parked directly in front of their house."
So in theory, we got 72 hours' notice, and since all our cars were surrounded with No Parking sawhorses, any cars that didn't move were there for over 72 hours and the city could tow them.
And you know where this is going. A car got left on our street. And instead of towing it, they very carefully paved around it so there's a car-shaped unpaved spot on the street.
I'm both amused (they really did a careful job around the car) and frustrated (yet another law we're not going to bother to enforce, even when it impacts our infrastructure).
The problem is, that very car has blocked street repair the last few times it's come by, to the point that in 2021 a sinkhole opened up under one of its tires because that portion of the street hadn't been maintained in so long. So someone moved the car, repaired the sinkhole, put the car back in place, and it's continuing its litany of blocking street projects forevermore.
Thus, it frustrates me that they're perfectly capable of moving the car as needed, but they choose not to because the city doesn't do anything about it. Not even a ticket.
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Chocolate-free candy using carob instead? Check. Another throw-away. I don't know how he got fooled into buying this one. But "chocolate-free chocolate" really is a thing.
Yeah, it's called white chocolate. Throw it away.
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White chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as a baker.
That said, I love white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
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I agree with you that white chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as someone who eats chocolate.
That said, I have feel mostly disappointment (with occasional hint of contempt or desperation*) when faced with white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
*desperation when there is nothing better than white chocolate around
White chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as a baker.
That said, I love white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. As I grew older, either my tastes changed or the quality declined (I suspect the latter) and now I don't care for it. I don't loathe it, but I prefer not to eat it.
In other news the offending car has now driven away, leaving a car-shaped unpaved spot for the steamroller to deal with when they do their final work in an hour or so.
I am looking forward to the obscenities I hear from the work team.
EDIT: I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with callouses. CY, David, BNW, and anyone else who works with their hands all day to the point of having significant callouses on your fingers, do you have issues with fingerprint recognition as well?
I've never needed to use any kind of biometric ID, and if I did, I'd refuse on principle. That said, I don't really get calluses on my fingertips from my job, but I do have some from playing guitar--does that count?
EDIT: I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with callouses. CY, David, BNW, and anyone else who works with their hands all day to the point of having significant callouses on your fingers, do you have issues with fingerprint recognition as well?I've never needed to use any kind of biometric ID, and if I did, I'd refuse on principle. That said, I don't really get calluses on my fingertips from my job, but I do have some from playing guitar--does that count?
Probably. I probably spend 8-10 hours a day at a keyboard, but then 3-4 hours cooking, cleaning, and repairing so I have callouses thick enough that I can touch boiling water or a hot cast iron pan and not get burnt. I suspect guitar callouses would be similar. Everyone tells me how great touch-to-unlock is for modern devices and I've tried to set it up maybe a dozen times, but every time it tells me my fingerprint is registered, works a few times that day, and never works again.
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Possible but hard to tell apart from the general druid aura that will cause electronic malfunctions.
I've got something similar, though I'd guess it's more pure chaos energy than druid powers-- electrical wiring, electronics, and motors tend to destroy themselves whenever I'm around.
I am looking forward to the obscenities I hear from the work team.
I know, I know. Cue CY saying, "We don't really care if the residents are a*****s. We work around them, do our job, and get paid one way or the other, so they don't bother us at all."
But it's always nice to believe that the workers care, and will one day steamroll that stupid car...
EDIT: Impus Major was so amused by the scene that he took a picture and showed it to me... and they have a new car!!! It's the same color and shape as the old one, and parked in exactly the same spot. But it looks like they got themselves a new car with which to ruin the street in front of their house...
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When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. As I grew older, either my tastes changed or the quality declined (I suspect the latter) and now I don't care for it. I don't loathe it, but I prefer not to eat it.White chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as a baker.
That said, I love white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
Chocolate should be bitter and rock-like. White chocolate might as well be a stick of butter with some sugar in it.
Chocolate should be bitter and rock-like. White chocolate might as well be a stick of butter with some sugar in it.When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. As I grew older, either my tastes changed or the quality declined (I suspect the latter) and now I don't care for it. I don't loathe it, but I prefer not to eat it.White chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as a baker.
That said, I love white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
Well, it sort-a is exactly that.
Chocolate should be bitter and rock-like. White chocolate might as well be a stick of butter with some sugar in it.When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. As I grew older, either my tastes changed or the quality declined (I suspect the latter) and now I don't care for it. I don't loathe it, but I prefer not to eat it.White chocolate is not chocolate.
I say that as a baker.
That said, I love white chocolate.
Which, again, is not chocolate.
Well, it sort-a is exactly that.
Except for the fact that, while I can easily see requesting a last meal of a loaf of freshly baked bread and a block of good sweet butter, I find the idea of doing the same thing with a block of white chocolate nauseating and repugnant.
When I was about 8, outside the arcade was a candy store and I got white chocholate once and liked it.
So i've had a white chocholate bunny in my easter basket for around fourish decades since.
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I used to enjoy those white chocolate mice you could get for 1p each (sometimes dyed pink). I doubt I'd enjoy them much now.
I don't mind the occasional bit of white chocolate. But it gets to be too much too quickly.
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We have confirmation: After finding out that I'd failed to remove the shipping cover from the motion sensor (that clear sticky plastic that's utterly undetectable until it comes loose), I set up the camera again last night...
...and was rewarded with video of a pair of raccoon kits coming onto our deck, looking around, and then one of them carrying the ball onto the deck and starting to play with it and roll around with it.
Raccoon kits it is.
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Just had an unexpectedly pleasant and fruitful phone call with my local internet provider's tech support.
Had thunder and lightning all day today, which caused a power surge, and even though it was plugged into a surge protector (along with the modem) the stupid EERO "mesh WiFi" router got fried, which knocked out my internet. After I explained the situation to tech support, instead of trying to sell me something or using a bunch of technobabble to disguise the fact that he couldn't fix the problem, the guy just said "the EERO? Oh, you don't actually need that, I can just remotely set up your modem to send out a wireless signal," which he then spent about 15 minutes setting up.
After getting everything fixed, he told me it was only his second day on the job, and he was terrified that his fix wouldn't work. You're gonna be fine, bud.
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I have successfully gotten most of my students addicted to playing Connections.
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The phrase 'I feel like owl sauce' makes perfect sense to me right now.
I think I need to go to bed.
Y'know, every other company sends me maybe a grand total of 3 emails when something gets shipped to me:
(1) We've received a shipping notification.
(2) Your item has been shipped. Here's the estimated delivery date.
(3) Your item has been delivered.
DHL apparently feels I need a blow-by-blow of all their trials and tribulations: Every day I'm getting, "Your item has been transferred to xxx." Then yesterday I got three emails saying, "Your package will be delivered today." They failed, since the road was closed and all. Then another three today. "Your package will be delivered today."
Um... DHL? I really don't feel I needed 22 emails over the last five days just to tell me that my coffee pot would eventually arrive. It just wasn't that important to me.
(We ordered a Portmeirion coffee pot to go with the dishes. And apparently it was critically important for us to hear all about its adventures getting to us.)
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the raison d'etre of my personal fantasy roleplaying homebrew world has finally, fully crystallized.
it's not truly novel, in most ways, but the 'moment of clarity' has arrived. I understand what I've been muddling through since about the time I was 14 or so. the facets of the gemstone have been shaped, and a little more time and polishing will bring it all to life. i can look back at everything i've put together (what of it i remember) and see how it all fits into a complete whole -- from the humblest woodcutter in the forests of the Gladden Vale to the fallen legends who decided the fates of millions.
i know that's all overblown and grandiose, but it just . . . . it just feels good to be in this moment.
thanks for reading this. thanks for your input and feedback over the years. thank you for being you, FaWtLies -- you've helped me more than any of us know.
just wanted to share
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West coast invasion: we're having dinner tonight with one of my favorite former Berkeleyites, Sexy Jeweller, and his wife, Pagan Life Coach. We're getting Korean food.
Um... DHL? I really don't feel I needed 22 emails over the last five days just to tell me that my coffee pot would eventually arrive. It just wasn't that important to me.
comprehensive real-time tracking isn't just all the rage in logistics, for some companies -- it has become a standardized feature of the throughput from shipper to recipient, and the slightest error in that procedural has serious financial repercussions. don't ask me how i know that, 'cause i don't. but it just might be an avenue by which you can cut your costs, if ever a step is skipped. the process may be rather impenetrable, but if you ever notice one of your shipped packages "disappears" for more than 12 or 24 hours with zero flags, call customer service and complain.
again, i don't know anything, and i haven't said anything, and you didn't read this.
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West coast invasion
I had one of those once... the trick is to set out glue traps baited with fresh avocados and broccoli pizza. Should clear up after a few days.