Freehold DM |
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While it's gratifying to be the "mental health refuge" of all the kids' friends, it frustrates me in the extreme that we're yet again dealing with two crises this week, and the kids' parents are nowhere to be found.
- How is it that a teen posts some disturbing thoughts on self-harm then goes silent, and it's me and the Impii driving to the kid's house to do a wellness check instead of someone calling their parents? (I don't know the kid that well at all, but their peers all said, "No. Don't tell their parents. That'll just make things worse." And we did resolve the issue.)
- How is it that a kid with clinical depression is coming to my house today to talk with me about their issues instead of their parents or a therapist?
- Why is a teen girl more comfortable talking to me about her sex life and her issues with her boyfriends than her parents?
Yes. I listen. I don't judge. I provide the best advice I can from my personal experiences. I am big and round and comfortable to hug. My sofas are a great place to sob. But with all the modern-day focus on mental health issues, I'm baffled that GothBard and I seem to be the only parents that the kids are willing to talk to. Heck, we even have one kid show up here just so can do his homework because issues at his home make it too loud and distracting for him to work there.
I like that the kids and I are apparently a great deal of help to these other kids. I hate that we seem to be their only easy resource.
You answered all your own questions.
NobodysHome |
NobodysHome wrote:You answered all your own questions.While it's gratifying to be the "mental health refuge" of all the kids' friends, it frustrates me in the extreme that we're yet again dealing with two crises this week, and the kids' parents are nowhere to be found.
- How is it that a teen posts some disturbing thoughts on self-harm then goes silent, and it's me and the Impii driving to the kid's house to do a wellness check instead of someone calling their parents? (I don't know the kid that well at all, but their peers all said, "No. Don't tell their parents. That'll just make things worse." And we did resolve the issue.)
- How is it that a kid with clinical depression is coming to my house today to talk with me about their issues instead of their parents or a therapist?
- Why is a teen girl more comfortable talking to me about her sex life and her issues with her boyfriends than her parents?
Yes. I listen. I don't judge. I provide the best advice I can from my personal experiences. I am big and round and comfortable to hug. My sofas are a great place to sob. But with all the modern-day focus on mental health issues, I'm baffled that GothBard and I seem to be the only parents that the kids are willing to talk to. Heck, we even have one kid show up here just so can do his homework because issues at his home make it too loud and distracting for him to work there.
I like that the kids and I are apparently a great deal of help to these other kids. I hate that we seem to be their only easy resource.
Thank you, Obi-wan. But when will I understand my own answers?
EDIT: Or, in the less-snarky version: Yes, I understand that being willing to listen non-judgmentally is the hallmark of a good therapist, but I don't understand why I live in a highly-educated, highly-liberal area of the country, in a city that takes great pride in raising and educating children, but GothBard and I seem to be the only parents in our kids' extended friends group who are willing to listen to the kids and take their issues seriously.
captain yesterday |
6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Freehold DM wrote:NobodysHome wrote:You answered all your own questions.While it's gratifying to be the "mental health refuge" of all the kids' friends, it frustrates me in the extreme that we're yet again dealing with two crises this week, and the kids' parents are nowhere to be found.
- How is it that a teen posts some disturbing thoughts on self-harm then goes silent, and it's me and the Impii driving to the kid's house to do a wellness check instead of someone calling their parents? (I don't know the kid that well at all, but their peers all said, "No. Don't tell their parents. That'll just make things worse." And we did resolve the issue.)
- How is it that a kid with clinical depression is coming to my house today to talk with me about their issues instead of their parents or a therapist?
- Why is a teen girl more comfortable talking to me about her sex life and her issues with her boyfriends than her parents?
Yes. I listen. I don't judge. I provide the best advice I can from my personal experiences. I am big and round and comfortable to hug. My sofas are a great place to sob. But with all the modern-day focus on mental health issues, I'm baffled that GothBard and I seem to be the only parents that the kids are willing to talk to. Heck, we even have one kid show up here just so can do his homework because issues at his home make it too loud and distracting for him to work there.
I like that the kids and I are apparently a great deal of help to these other kids. I hate that we seem to be their only easy resource.
Thank you, Obi-wan. But when will I understand my own answers?
EDIT: Or, in the less-snarky version: Yes, I understand that being willing to listen non-judgmentally is the hallmark of a good therapist, but I don't understand why I live in a highly-educated, highly-liberal area of the country, in a city that takes great pride in raising and educating children, but GothBard and I seem to be the only parents in our kids'...
As someone that grew up deeply involved in the highly educated liberal culture I can say with complete certainty that being liberal does not mean you're good parents.
NobodysHome |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
As someone that grew up deeply involved in the highly educated liberal culture I can say with complete certainty that being liberal does not mean you're good parents.
I'd love to take a poke at this with an article I read recently, but you'd have trouble getting more political than the article, so I'll refrain.
Drejk |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I finally realized it's very much like "common sense" or "don't believe anything you read on Facebook".
You expect everyone to be able to do it. Then you find out it's a very, very rare trait.
For some weird reason people tend to think that having functional gonads makes them qualified to be parents.
And lets don't get into the matter of people who didn't actually wanted children. Or decided they don't like having children after having one or more of them. Or didn't like the child they got. Or...
In fact when cleaning some old documents I found a calendar where my parents made some notes aiming at days suitable for my conception.
Drejk |
because parents and sex in the same sentence hits everyones squickbar. (despite having kids is proof it happened at least once for 99.99% of the planet)
Funny this comes today, because very recently (yesterday? today?) I had a dream that I was clearing some drawers and found parents' stashed condom* (and was a bit surprised that my parents are still getting on - dad will be seventy this year and has serious heart issues).
Note that while I am not actively thinking about my parents having sex, I am not really squicked by it either... Anymore.
We never talked about sex, though. When me and my brother were in very early teens, somehow a book about basics of sex education (somewhat obsolete for early 90s, but I guess that's what was available at that time in Poland) found its way to our bookshelf. I read it (not sure about brother) but it was definitely better source than listening to dubious sources that are other students in late elementary school.
*When I was clearing drawers when the parents moved out, I actually found a forgotten condom hidden behind some documents (long past its viability date, the rubber was falling apart). It might had been close to one of the places where my parents kept adult magazines, not sure.
Drejk |
because parents and sex in the same sentence hits everyones squickbar. (despite having kids is proof it happened at least once for 99.99% of the planet)
Now that I think of... Not talking to parents about sex isn't caused by being children being squicked by idea of their parents having sex...
It's parents not talking with their children about sex that contributes to kids being squicked by idea of their parents having sex.
lisamarlene |
4 people marked this as a favorite. |
My kids are still in the "romance is gross and weird" stage. I've discovered that the best way to keep Val from looking over my shoulder at my laptop or phone screen is to always keep a browser tab open to my favorite lingerie shopping site, which isn't actually called smokinhotcorsetsforchubbygirls.com but might as well be.
NobodysHome |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |
I've decided that my next "long-term life achievement" project is watching every available Doctor Who episode ever made, and while I could write a LOT about all kinds of aspects of Season 1, today's really struck me:
"Why of course a random British schoolteacher from the 1960s could defeat the greatest Aztec warrior in hand-to-hand combat! We had P.E.!"
NobodysHome |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
In terms of parents and squickiness, I had the (mis)fortune to have a physicist and an M.D. as parents, and they had what I consider the fundamentally wonderful attitude of, "If the child is old enough to ask, they're old enough to know."
I took that approach with the Impii and it's amazing how fast a kid loses interest in what you're saying when it has to do with biology rather than magic... they were less grossed-out than I remember being, but I think they asked when they were quite a bit older.
Freehold DM |
NobodysHome wrote:I finally realized it's very much like "common sense" or "don't believe anything you read on Facebook".
You expect everyone to be able to do it. Then you find out it's a very, very rare trait.
For some weird reason people tend to think that having functional gonads makes them qualified to be parents.
And lets don't get into the matter of people who didn't actually wanted children. Or decided they don't like having children after having one or more of them. Or didn't like the child they got. Or...
** spoiler omitted **
Damn. I'm sorry.
Freehold DM |
My kids are still in the "romance is gross and weird" stage. I've discovered that the best way to keep Val from looking over my shoulder at my laptop or phone screen is to always keep a browser tab open to my favorite lingerie shopping site, which isn't actually called smokinhotcorsetsforchubbygirls.com but might as well be.
Would that I was still going to cons regularly, I could have hooked you up with several professionals who are quite skilled.
lisamarlene |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
It's a good thing I'm not the rabid sportsball fan that durned near everyone I know here in Dallas is. I care a bit about the outcome of tonight's game, but not enough to be emotionally invested.
It's the fact that tickets, parking, and hot dogs for a family of four costs as much as a day at the state fair. Baseball is supposed to be a blue collar sport and an affordable day out. I love the game, but I despise the sports economy.
I've been told I should start following minor league ball instead, but I can't seem to drum up enough interest to care.
gran rey de los mono |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
It's a good thing I'm not the rabid sportsball fan that durned near everyone I know here in Dallas is. I care a bit about the outcome of tonight's game, but not enough to be emotionally invested.
It's the fact that tickets, parking, and hot dogs for a family of four costs as much as a day at the state fair. Baseball is supposed to be a blue collar sport and an affordable day out. I love the game, but I despise the sports economy.
I've been told I should start following minor league ball instead, but I can't seem to drum up enough interest to care.
Before I moved up here, I used to love going to see the Evansville Otters play. They play in the 3rd oldest currently functioning professional ball park (only Fenway and Wrigley are older). Parts of A League of Their Own was filmed there. Tickets were $5, concessions were reasonable, and it was fun. They also offered family packs (4 tickets, 4 sodas, 4 hot dogs or hamburgers, 4 fries) for about $35.
I think tickets are still cheap, but I heard concessions had gone up quite a bit.
Edit: A quick check and it looks like tickets for this season, which is over, started at $6. Still really cheap.
Andostre |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
It's a good thing I'm not the rabid sportsball fan that durned near everyone I know here in Dallas is. I care a bit about the outcome of tonight's game, but not enough to be emotionally invested.
It's the fact that tickets, parking, and hot dogs for a family of four costs as much as a day at the state fair. Baseball is supposed to be a blue collar sport and an affordable day out. I love the game, but I despise the sports economy.
The company I work for is one of the primary sponsors for Houston's team, so they are constantly passing out free or heavily-discounted tickets to their employees. If it weren't for these tickets, it's very unlikely my kids would know what the inside of the stadium looks like.
Syrus Terrigan |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
It's that rare time of year where yesterday we got measurable rain (0.11") and today it's in the low 60s so we can open up the house and air it out with the wonderful, "fresh-washed world" scent.
Do not try in agricultural areas...
*leans on muck shovel, tips cap back from forehead*
what? you smell somethin'??
captain yesterday |
It's that rare time of year where yesterday we got measurable rain (0.11") and today it's in the low 60s so we can open up the house and air it out with the wonderful, "fresh-washed world" scent.
Do not try in agricultural areas...
I dunno, if you spend enough time away from the Midwest you start to miss the smell of manure.
NobodysHome |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Here's "one of those things" that baffles/frustrates me about being the extended family's IT support:
Caller: My laptop won't power on at all. Everything else seems to be working.
NobodysHome: OK. Did you try unplugging all the components of the power cord and re-plugging each one in again? The wall socket and the brick and the computer?
Caller: Yes! And I even checked to make sure the power strip has power!
(NobodysHome shows up, unplugs and re-plugs all the components of the power cord, and the computer miraculously boots)
Caller: You're a miracle worker!
We'll see whether that's how it plays out today, but no matter how many different ways you say it ("There are multiple things you have to unplug and re-plug!" "Go the entire length of the cord and any time you see two things connected, pull them apart and re-plug them,"), you always learn that the user unplugged the power supply from the wall outlet and never checked anything else.
And it's frustrating, because it's an unnecessary trip to their house, because no matter how many times I say, "There are two ends to the cord. One goes into the wall, and end goes into the computer, and you have to do both" they will never pull out and re-plug the computer end. (And with a laptop it's usually 3, because the cord into the brick can come loose as well.)
lisamarlene |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
lisamarlene wrote:It's a good thing I'm not the rabid sportsball fan that durned near everyone I know here in Dallas is. I care a bit about the outcome of tonight's game, but not enough to be emotionally invested.
It's the fact that tickets, parking, and hot dogs for a family of four costs as much as a day at the state fair. Baseball is supposed to be a blue collar sport and an affordable day out. I love the game, but I despise the sports economy.
I've been told I should start following minor league ball instead, but I can't seem to drum up enough interest to care.
Before I moved up here, I used to love going to see the Evansville Otters play. They play in the 3rd oldest currently functioning professional ball park (only Fenway and Wrigley are older). Parts of A League of Their Own was filmed there. Tickets were $5, concessions were reasonable, and it was fun. They also offered family packs (4 tickets, 4 sodas, 4 hot dogs or hamburgers, 4 fries) for about $35.
I think tickets are still cheap, but I heard concessions had gone up quite a bit.
Edit: A quick check and it looks like tickets for this season, which is over, started at $6. Still really cheap.
See?! That's exactly what I want!
lisamarlene |
lisamarlene wrote:The company I work for is one of the primary sponsors for Houston's team, so they are constantly passing out free or heavily-discounted tickets to their employees. If it weren't for these tickets, it's very unlikely my kids would know what the inside of the stadium looks like.It's a good thing I'm not the rabid sportsball fan that durned near everyone I know here in Dallas is. I care a bit about the outcome of tonight's game, but not enough to be emotionally invested.
It's the fact that tickets, parking, and hot dogs for a family of four costs as much as a day at the state fair. Baseball is supposed to be a blue collar sport and an affordable day out. I love the game, but I despise the sports economy.
When I was in junior high, my dad dated a lawyer from AT&T's Chicago legal department. She got us into their corporate box at Wrigley a couple of times. It was the best thing ever.
Of course, this was so long ago that the last time we went, they were playing the Montreal Expos.NobodysHome |
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GothBard's stepfather was a big-time event coordinator first for concerts, then for sportsball. He got us free passes into all sorts of places.
My most memorable event was being on the field at Candlestick park when the 49ers offensive line came jogging off the field towards us. You could feel the ground shake when they were still 30-40' away. Big, BIG guys.