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My son was reading a book, and I noticed that he was dog-earing the pages to keep his place. So I asked him "Would you like a bookmark?" He started crying, saying "I already have a book, and my name isn't Mark!"
Then you hit him to keep him from picking up your sense of humor before its to late.
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In local news, a woman is on trial for allegedly beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asked "First offender?" The woman said "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender."
I remember everything little thing, as if it happened yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender GuitarI don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome, and a voice like a horny angel
Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
But do you have any grapes or crackers maybe?
We're supposed to get several inches of snow tomorrow.
That's also what his aunt said, which is f+&&ing nasty.
It's one thing when the antagonists are incestial, but when the protagonists are, you know that Martin has some f#+@ing nasty fetishes.
^^ Deja vu.
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I'm thinking of going to Labun Island for a weekend getaway with my colleagues. Gosh after all the telco business, I deserve a break.
You take a break Mort you earned it!
Sounds like a lot of multitasking snorkeling with fish while eating them.
And in other news, I competed Ascension level 7 with the Defect in Slay the Spire yesterday. Still can't get through level 4 with Silent, though.Grats Gran. Between trying to find time to exercise and sorting out telcos, I haven't had much time for Slay the Spire. It's been all I can do to keep up with PBPs and hearthstone dailies.
I got through level 5 with everyone & got 6 done with a weird Ironclad deck, yesterday.
Now they're saying up to 10 inches of snow today.
According to the new safety standards at work I can't use a jackhammer unless I get fitted for a special respirator that would unfortunately mean I'd have to shave my goatee.
It's all good, I always preferred the old fashioned way.
Oops, looked at the wrong table, I'm good running a jackhammer with regular extra strength masks as long as I'm outside, it's only inside I need the special filter.
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Send some my way Captain
The hilarious part is, not a peep on CNN about it, but you know as soon as it passes over us they'll start "THE EAST COAST IS DOOMED!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!" headlines.
I love CNN, so dramatic!
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In local news, a woman is on trial for allegedly beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asked "First offender?" The woman said "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender."I remember everything little thing, as if it happened yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender Guitar
I don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome, and a voice like a horny angel
Meat Loaf. Bat Out of Hell (the original).
Yeah, I'm old.
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Send some my way CaptainThe hilarious part is, not a peep on CNN about it, but you know as soon as it passes over us they'll start "THE EAST COAST IS DOOMED!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!" headlines.
I love CNN, so dramatic!
I think I've mentioned that when the '89 quake hit, my brother was in North Carolina watching CNN, and got to hear, "Both bridges are in the water! Repeat! Both bridges are in the water! 60,000 estimated dead!"
It was before CNN had earned its reputation for gross exaggeration, so he was actually worried.
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Meanwhile every little town and hamlet between here and Iowa are already cancelling classes for today and tomorrow.
Everything south of you as well. We're supposed to get 18 straight hours of freezing rain on top of the foot of snow we have on the ground. I'd much prefer to get another foot of snow than a few inches of ice.
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Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
Madison never cancels class, especially this week being midterms or whatever.
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Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
Just like Toys R Us.
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Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
Woah, that is insane!
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
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Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
Does she want someone to get electrocuted and get the company charged for negligence?
No, you're right. In Australia, everything is poisonous and trying to kill you. In Illinois, it's only some things are poisonous and trying to kill you. See. World of difference.And here we thought only in Australia you have everything that is poisonous and out to kill you.didnt know you were afraid of spiders.A 2-inch diameter spider is enough to make me go get WD40 and a lighter.Giant spider vs. 1st level Elf Magus: who will be victorious?
(Hint: it isn't the Elf)
Depends how giant is the spider...
4 inches diameter? 10 inches diameter?
Depends on the spider, but we have black widows, brown recluse, and other highly toxic spiders hanging around in Illinois.
The Adult Kid nearly lost her hand when she was very young from a brown recluse bite.
I've had more than a couple run-ins with black widows when I was out in the middle of nowhere working in a corn or bean field as a teen.
What gran said.
We have *some* spiders that are dangerous to humans. Just happen to be ones that will kill/maim.
We only have a handful of indigenous species of poisonous snakes.
The rest of our critters are largely harmless...bats, coyotes, wolves, and cougars...
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Does she want someone to get electrocuted and get the company charged for negligence?Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
Oh, see, here's where you went wrong: You think she might care.
She's just a genuinely awful human being.
Of course, my office is still open. The VP here has a...reputation...
Once, about 7-8 years ago, Peoria got enough snow that the city said, "That's it, everything is shut down, and downtown Peoria is off limits until this is over." Our VP kept the office open anyway. Eventually the Illinois National Guard showed up to get everyone to leave the building.
SHE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE ILLINOIS NATIONAL GUARD.
Not based on "It's safer for my employees to stay here than drive in that nightmare." No. Purely based on "We have to make our monthly goal and if we shut down operations we're going to be losing money!"
I'm not even remotely kidding.
She's still not retired. She's still in this office. We will never close for anything.
We even had a flood on the third floor that wiped out a large section of our suite - I had to run in to shut off computers and monitors while the water was coming down...as well as ceiling tiles falling on my head...and she still insisted the office be open.
This goes well beyond Midwestern work ethic and straight into psychosis.
that is absolutely insane.
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It's a new thing to not only be valued at work, but to also be considered essential.
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Random Thoughts On The Day:
The low last night was 42° F, or roughly 7° C for you furriners. It should hit 53° F for a high. This is considered a "very cold day" around here.
Nope. Not doing it. Enjoy your ramen, Talky. Or try bringing your own dinner. (Not meaning to call out Talky in particular -- most of the other kids complain about not getting fed, too, but I'm not a soup kitchen. You're welcome to come to my house, play my PS4 on my 75" TV, or use my gaming table and projector to run your games. But I'm not spending a bunch of money feeding you.)
"Children should be seen but not heard."
"Silence is golden."
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
"Women like the strong, silent type."
Yet even given his nickname, Talky isn't the worst offender among Impus Major's immediate friends. There are kids who come over who simply cannot tolerate being silent for even 20 seconds. It's mind-bogglingly annoying. Watching TV. Playing games. Hanging around. Whatever. They create a constant stream-of-consciousness buzz of inanity wherever they go. I don't know how Impus Major tolerates it. Impus Minor is with me; when the worst offender comes over he leaves the room.
Just because you're capable of speech doesn't mean you should be speaking, kids...
...silence is its own reward.
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Just because you're capable of speech doesn't mean you should be speaking, kids...
...silence is its...
I have the same issue with a lot of adults.
Oh, forgot one: It's finals week for the kids.
Certain teachers think it's totally OK to assign 15-20 hour projects as "final exams".
Er... you *DO* know that the kids are doing their utmost to study for their OTHER classes, right? Making them spend 2-3 hours a night on YOUR project because "they don't have any other homework, right? It's finals week!" is just cruel.
Especially if you get situations like last year, where Impus Major had TWO such teachers, and spent all of his finals week panicking about projects and messing up on the classes that actually, y'know, gave final exams for finals week...
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Random Thoughts On The Day:
*SIGH*. Bay Area kids. Impus Major complained this morning that it seems unusually cold, as he's having to wear two jackets just to stay warm.
The low last night was 42° F, or roughly 7° C for you furriners. It should hit 53° F for a high. This is considered a "very cold day" around here.
I would be happy to have 7 degree now. I would probably got a headache from the weather change, but I have one at the moment anyway.
*SIGH*. Modern kids. Yet again, last night Talky was over and made his unhappiness about having to have ramen for dinner again plain. Well, sorry, but we have roughly 20 teenagers over during dinnertime on any given week (not all at once, but spread out over the week). If I wanted to cook for them, that would be nearly $100/week. For takeout it's more like $200-$300 a week to feed other people's kids.
Nope. Not doing it. Enjoy your ramen, Talky. Or try bringing your own dinner. (Not meaning to call out Talky in particular -- most of the other kids complain about not getting fed, too, but I'm not a soup kitchen. You're welcome to come to my house, play my PS4 on my 75" TV, or use my gaming table and projector to run your games. But I'm not spending a bunch of money feeding you.)
Feed the complainers to the rest of kids. Problem solved.
Or get them to cook their own food.
It's always amazing to me just how many adages are focused on teaching you from a very young age to shut up:
"Children should be seen but not heard."
"Silence is golden."
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
"Women like the strong, silent type."
Yet even given his nickname, Talky isn't the worst offender among Impus Major's immediate friends. There are kids who come over who simply cannot tolerate being silent for even 20 seconds. It's mind-bogglingly annoying. Watching TV. Playing games. Hanging around. Whatever. They create a constant stream-of-consciousness buzz of inanity wherever they go. I don't know how Impus Major tolerates it. Impus Minor is with me; when the worst offender comes over he leaves the room.
Just because you're capable of speech doesn't mean you should be speaking, kids...
...silence is its...
Eh, that applies to a lot of adults too.
I can spend days without talking to others, though I do talk to myself.
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Random Thoughts On The Day:
*SIGH*. Bay Area kids. Impus Major complained this morning that it seems unusually cold, as he's having to wear two jackets just to stay warm.
The low last night was 42° F, or roughly 7° C for you furriners. It should hit 53° F for a high. This is considered a "very cold day" around here.
*SIGH*. Modern kids. Yet again, last night Talky was over and made his unhappiness about having to have ramen for dinner again plain. Well, sorry, but we have roughly 20 teenagers over during dinnertime on any given week (not all at once, but spread out over the week). If I wanted to cook for them, that would be nearly $100/week. For takeout it's more like $200-$300 a week to feed other people's kids.
Nope. Not doing it. Enjoy your ramen, Talky. Or try bringing your own dinner. (Not meaning to call out Talky in particular -- most of the other kids complain about not getting fed, too, but I'm not a soup kitchen. You're welcome to come to my house, play my PS4 on my 75" TV, or use my gaming table and projector to run your games. But I'm not spending a bunch of money feeding you.)
It's always amazing to me just how many adages are focused on teaching you from a very young age to shut up:
"Children should be seen but not heard."
"Silence is golden."
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
"Women like the strong, silent type."
Yet even given his nickname, Talky isn't the worst offender among Impus Major's immediate friends. There are kids who come over who simply cannot tolerate being silent for even 20 seconds. It's mind-bogglingly annoying. Watching TV. Playing games. Hanging around. Whatever. They create a constant stream-of-consciousness buzz of inanity wherever they go. I don't know how Impus Major tolerates it. Impus Minor is with me; when the worst offender comes over he leaves the room.
Just because you're capable of speech doesn't mean you should be speaking, kids...
...silence is its...
to me, this is more cultural than modern. Having friends from different corners of the world in high meant it could be a great offense to NOT eat with them, or an even greater one to assume their family would feed me. It could be confusing on some weekends. That said, the chatterbox needs to pipe down unless you literally gave him lukewarm water and hard noodles.
See were I you, I'd go with just cutting him off entirely of any food, and saying "get out of my house you ungrateful bastard."
Guaranteed lack of complaints from those not kicked out thereafter if you do this in front of the rest. You don't even have to lose your cool. In many ways it freaks them out more when you say it calmly.
But you strike me as way nicer than I, NH.
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to me, this is more cultural than modern. Having friends from different corners of the world in high meant it could be a great offense to NOT eat with them, or an even greater one to assume their family would feed me. It could be confusing on some weekends. That said, the chatterbox needs to pipe down unless you literally gave him lukewarm water and hard noodles.
For me, there's a *BIG* difference between, "Welcome to my home! Please, eat, eat!", and, "I'm hungry! Do you have anything I can eat around here? Are you willing to order food for us? What's that? No, I don't have money to pay for it! Otherwise I'd order it myself!"
At the dojo I got the nickname, "Mr. Over-the-top" because of my hospitality and generosity. But that was when I volunteered to bring something or cook for someone.
Having someone show up at my house and expect me to feed them or pay for their food is an entirely different kettle of fish.
And VE: When they heard that I would no longer be feeding them, they stocked my kitchen with stuff that they could afford and cook for themselves. So it's their ramen and cup-o-noodles they're eating, not mine.
EDIT: And ethnically, the moochers are all whitebread Caucasian "we have no cultural identity" types. Both the Hispanic woman and the "don't even ask" woman (part Caribbean, part Mexican, part Asian, and other parts thrown in for fun) always ask, and then thank me. But that's how every female visitor behaves, so I think that's a gender thing, rather than a cultural thing.
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See were I you, I'd go with just cutting him off entirely of any food, and saying "get out of my house you ungrateful bastard."
Guaranteed lack of complaints from those not kicked out thereafter if you do this in front of the rest. You don't even have to lose your cool. In many ways it freaks them out more when you say it calmly.
But you strike me as way nicer than I, NH.
oh please.
We both know you would eat him to send a message to the other kids.
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Well, the "big 2" tipping points when I decided I was no longer going to provide for them:
(1) I bought cheap canned Coke for the Serpent's Skull game, figuring teenagers could withstand a once-a-week intake of high fructose corn syrup (poison in a can). I bought Mexican Coke (100% sugar, but at 5x the price) for the adults and my kids (though neither of them developed a taste for Coke, so though they had permission to drink it, they never did).
Bacon Boy discovered that, even though there were cans of Coke in the fridge, there were bottles in the pantry, and started helping himself. I didn't notice 'til he'd not only had some of his own, but given them away to the rest of the group so I lost an entire case. I told them the bottles were off-limits and bought a second case. That case disappeared. I stopped buying any soda for them, and made it clear why.
(2) Two of the kids just started showing up at the house and saying, "Impus Major! I'm hungry! Get me something to eat!"
So not only eating our food, but ordering Impus Major to prepare it.
I made it clear the kids were unwelcome to *MY* food, and could only eat things they had brought and prepared themselves.
That's worked well so far.