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Since gran is shirking his job
What happens to elves when they behave naughty?
Santa gives them the sack.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy!
What says 'Oh Oh Oh'?
Santa walking backwards!
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.
Why is the former president's elf lonely? Because he's Obama's Elf.
(Obama's elf = all by myself)
Glad you spelled that one out I didn't pick up on it from reading it.
Santa fell upon tough times financially, and had to lay off a few elves. One such elf eventually found a job at a hardware store stocking the shelves. Unfortunately though, the shelves at the store were too high for this elf and he began to lose his confidence. But to him he wasn't alone, as dozens of other elves working at the same chain of stores were all suffering from Lowe's elf esteem.
And so was born the elf on a shelf?
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Why kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread.
Not lembas?
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You forgot the exclamation point.
Allow me.
!
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Finished lord of chaos. Whew. intense. Now to take a brek from the wheel of time for some skyward.
Finished lord of chaos. Whew. intense. Now to take a brek from the wheel of time for some skyward.For a second I thought you were calling Limeylongears a "Finnish lord of chaos". But that just isn't possible. He's Welsh.
He may very well be a lord of chaos however.
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45 minutes and counting till i'm out of here. Aside from our breakfast lady I haven't seen a soul so far this morning.
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Guys, I've done something stupid again.
Amazingly, colossally stupid.
I'll let you all know when it's done.
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*msging from Chimney*
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Merry Christmas, everyone!
Still not at 100%, but the cold's improved significantly, thanks!
Today after the kids open their prezzies GothBard wants to go see the new Mary Poppins movie with the family.
I... am not hopeful.
But it'll be nice to be out with the group anyway...
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Merry Christmas, everyone!
Still not at 100%, but the cold's improved significantly, thanks!
Today after the kids open their prezzies GothBard wants to go see the new Mary Poppins movie with the family.
I... am not hopeful.
But it'll be nice to be out with the group anyway...
Merry Christmas, NH!
Big hugs to Goth Bard and the Impii.Y'know, in six hours, when they all wake up.
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Merry Christmas, everyone!
Still not at 100%, but the cold's improved significantly, thanks!
Today after the kids open their prezzies GothBard wants to go see the new Mary Poppins movie with the family.
I... am not hopeful.
But it'll be nice to be out with the group anyway...
Merry Christmas, NH!
Big hugs to Goth Bard and the Impii.
Y'know, in six hours, when they all wake up.
Same to you and yours!
And yesterday Impus Minor was sitting there saying, "14 hours 'til Christmas! 13 hours 'til Christmas!", with a planned 6:00 am wake-up time. GothBard convinced him to move it to 7:00 am.
I'll believe it when I see it. I'm expecting at least another 3 hours of "me time".
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Merry Xmas everyone!
Finished lord of chaos. Whew. intense. Now to take a brek from the wheel of time for some skyward.
Id forgotten there was a WoT book by that name. I thought you were reading the Dave Gross Radovan and The Count novel set in the Worldwound, which has the same title.
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Merry Christmas, everyone!
Still not at 100%, but the cold's improved significantly, thanks!
Today after the kids open their prezzies GothBard wants to go see the new Mary Poppins movie with the family.
I... am not hopeful.
But it'll be nice to be out with the group anyway...
Merry Christmas, NH!
Big hugs to Goth Bard and the Impii.
Y'know, in six hours, when they all wake up.
Same to you and yours!
And yesterday Impus Minor was sitting there saying, "14 hours 'til Christmas! 13 hours 'til Christmas!", with a planned 6:00 am wake-up time. GothBard convinced him to move it to 7:00 am.
I'll believe it when I see it. I'm expecting at least another 3 hours of "me time".
Light weights! When I woke up to go to the bathroom at 5 this morning Crookshanks was already up, had the lights on and the faux fireplace streaming on the computer.
We've told them not to wake us up before 7 but they still came in and gave us a five minute warning at 6:55.
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Yeah, I just really don't get it at all.
Friend: Give me your cell phone number!
NobodysHome: Why?
F: So I can text you stuff!
NH: It sits in a drawer in my bedroom most of the time. I'm unlikely to see anything you send me in under a week. Why don't you just e-mail me instead? I check e-mail every day!
F: Because texting is easier!
NH: OK. Here's my cell phone number. You can text it, but don't try calling it. I won't answer.
F: Yeah, yeah. Whatever! Thanks!
F: Where have you been? I've been calling you for days and you haven't answered!
NH: I don't remember getting any calls, and the house phone doesn't show we missed any.
F: I've been calling your cell phone, dummy!
*SIGH*
(As FaWtLers will tell you, I *do* respond to texts... after a couple of days, maybe. But if it's urgent, USE MY HOME NUMBER! Grr...)
EDIT: I'll admit, modern software makes it even harder for people to deal with this. I know my auto shop person knows my preferences, but it asked her to put in my cell number and she did, and at that point it was impossible for her to get back to my home phone -- the software required her to call my cell phone number. She had to go in and delete it to be able to call me.
Is it SUCH a hard idea that someone doesn't want to be carrying one more thing in their pocket, especially if they spend 95% of their lives in their own home? I don't even have my wallet or my keys on me most of the time, because I'm in my own house!
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Merry Christmas, everyone!
Still not at 100%, but the cold's improved significantly, thanks!
Today after the kids open their prezzies GothBard wants to go see the new Mary Poppins movie with the family.
I... am not hopeful.
But it'll be nice to be out with the group anyway...
Merry Christmas, NH!
Big hugs to Goth Bard and the Impii.
Y'know, in six hours, when they all wake up.
Same to you and yours!
And yesterday Impus Minor was sitting there saying, "14 hours 'til Christmas! 13 hours 'til Christmas!", with a planned 6:00 am wake-up time. GothBard convinced him to move it to 7:00 am.
I'll believe it when I see it. I'm expecting at least another 3 hours of "me time".
Light weights! When I woke up to go to the bathroom at 5 this morning Crookshanks was already up, had the lights on and the faux fireplace streaming on the computer.
We've told them not to wake us up before 7 but they still came in and gave us a five minute warning at 6:55.
This is easily my favorite thing about Living in a house with no one under 30 in residence.
That said, Mom is an early riser anyway and was probably up by 5 or 6. But our Xmas stuff isn't until 5 pm.
Even my mom isn't up yet.
I've been up since 4:55, but that's because my brain isn't adjusted to Pacific Time yet.
I have a theory that is takes 24 hours per time zone, but that's probably horse pucks.
So I'm giving myself a pedicure in the breakfast room, telling the cat repeatedly to eff off.
Because cats are bastards and this one particularly so.
She's a tortie.
I've been told by cat people that this explains it.
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Even my mom isn't up yet.
I've been up since 4:55, but that's because my brain isn't adjusted to Pacific Time yet.
I have a theory that is takes 24 hours per time zone, but that's probably horse pucks.
So I'm giving myself a pedicure in the breakfast room, telling the cat repeatedly to eff off.
Because cats are bastards and this one particularly so.
She's a tortie.
I've been told by cat people that this explains it.
Shiro and I take the same approach to travel: Plan on having your plane land in the new time zone around 5:00 or 6:00 pm. Go directly from your plane to wherever you're staying, eat a meal, and go to bed. Usually you'll be in bed by 7:30 pm at the latest.
Lie there, irritated, until your body finally lets you sleep.
On the one hand, you end up spending 11-12 hours in bed, most of it awake.
On the other hand, for both of us, this lets us immediately adjust to new time zones.
When you have to travel for a living (as both of us used to), it's a godsend.
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Is it SUCH a hard idea that someone doesn't want to be carrying one more thing in their pocket, especially if they spend 95% of their lives in their own home? I don't even have my wallet or my keys on me most of the time, because I'm in my own house!
I always keep my keys and my wallet in the pocket of my pants.
On the other hand (or rather leg) I rarely wear those pants while at home, usually sitting in my PJs instead.
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Is it SUCH a hard idea that someone doesn't want to be carrying one more thing in their pocket, especially if they spend 95% of their lives in their own home? I don't even have my wallet or my keys on me most of the time, because I'm in my own house!
I always keep my keys and my wallet in the pocket of my pants.
On the other hand (or rather leg) I rarely wear those pants while at home, usually sitting in my PJs instead.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm at home, in my Chefwear, working and stretching and cleaning, so anything in my pockets is just an annoyance. I've tried moving the phone to my work station in the living room, but then I forget to move it back and, on the rare occasions that I sleep late enough for my alarm to go off, miss the alarm.
I want my phone on my bedside table so it wakes me up if I'm sleeping in too late. That is my phone's primary purpose. So I don't move it. And it irritates people because it means I don't hear it when it rings during the day.
Whatever.
Phone and keys in left pocket, wallet in right. No room for anything else.
And likewise that's only when I'm out and about. At work they all go into a drawer. At home the wallet and keys are on my bookshelf, the phone plugged in and laid on the box next to my bed that serves as a platform for my fan.
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I have a theory that is takes 24 hours per time zone, but that's probably horse pucks.
No, it sounds about accurate to my own observations and experiences. Maybe not precisely that amount of time, but it's probably close.
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Even my mom isn't up yet.
I've been up since 4:55, but that's because my brain isn't adjusted to Pacific Time yet.
I have a theory that is takes 24 hours per time zone, but that's probably horse pucks.
So I'm giving myself a pedicure in the breakfast room, telling the cat repeatedly to eff off.
Because cats are bastards and this one particularly so.
She's a tortie.
I've been told by cat people that this explains it.
tortie? Oh yeah.
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Orthos! Just the person I need! I assume you're familiar with Stardew Valley? Anywho, that is Crookshanks' favorite video game, which it reminds me of the old 8 bit RPGs so would you get her a Super Nintendo classic, NES classic, Genesis Classic, or preferably one of those a million games on one PlayStation 4 disc.I actually recommend constructing a RetroPi. It only costs about $30-$50, depending on shipping and if you want to customize its appearance, plus ~$20 or so for an Xbox usb controller and whatever the cost is for the appropriate SD card. It comes with a ton of games from almost every system pre-GameCube/PS2.
Mine looks like a tiny NES, a little smaller than the NES Classic, and is hooked to an old monitor I no longer use since I don't have a desktop PC anymore.
If I knew what any of this meant, I would totally do it.
But I don't. :-(
Which would you prefer, a Super Nintendo classic, NES classic or Genesis Classic.
Also if you wanted to provide links to what you're talking about I'll look into that.
I'll get you the details when I get home then. I'm on my phone now and getting links on mobile is a pain and a half.
I do not recommend any of the classic systems. For the cost they give so very few games and cannot be added to or modulated. They are all a poor investment in every case imo. Save your money and lose the stress =)
Sorry for the delay Cap. PM sent.
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tortie? Oh yeah.Even my mom isn't up yet.
I've been up since 4:55, but that's because my brain isn't adjusted to Pacific Time yet.
I have a theory that is takes 24 hours per time zone, but that's probably horse pucks.
So I'm giving myself a pedicure in the breakfast room, telling the cat repeatedly to eff off.
Because cats are bastards and this one particularly so.
She's a tortie.
I've been told by cat people that this explains it.
And her name is Ra's al Ghul.
Eve's sense of humor.
Everyone is STILL ASLEEP.
Even Eve and the baby, and they're usually up before I am.
I'm bored.
And I want coffee, and I don't know how to use a drip coffee maker, and I can't find my late stepdad's French press, which used to be in the stemware cabinet.
I found the French press. Eve must have moved it, because my mother never changes anything.
And, happily, there was a little coffee already ground, so I won't get yelled at for using the grinder while the baby is sleeping.
Waiting for the kettle.
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Everyone is STILL ASLEEP.
Even Eve and the baby, and they're usually up before I am.
I'm bored.
And I want coffee, and I don't know how to use a drip coffee maker, and I can't find my late stepdad's French press, which used to be in the stemware cabinet.
Wooooow! Spoiled much? Nothing but French press your whole life?
Would that MY parents had had taste! I might have started drinking coffee sooner!
EDIT: And yep, all silent here. Going through the FFXIV beast quests, which come up every morning at 7:00 am.
EDIT 2: 7:15 am and Impus Minor has appeared!
EDIT 3: And apparently Impus Major was waiting for just that, so now both Impii are here. And here's GothBard!
Everyone is STILL ASLEEP.
Even Eve and the baby, and they're usually up before I am.
I'm bored.
And I want coffee, and I don't know how to use a drip coffee maker, and I can't find my late stepdad's French press, which used to be in the stemware cabinet.Wooooow! Spoiled much? Nothing but French press your whole life?
Would that MY parents had had taste! I might have started drinking coffee sooner!
EDIT: And yep, all silent here. Going through the FFXIV beast quests, which come up every morning at 7:00 am.
Nope. Everyone in my family makes drip. My mother's coffee is vaguely pleasant tasting brown water.
I discovered espresso machines and French presses working as a waitress after moving to the Bay after college, and so haven't made drip coffee in 22 years.
Hooray! Everyone is finally awake! Signing off now.
Xmas stuff isn't until this afternoon - we're driving up to my sister and BIL's place around 3ish. Meaning we should get there a little before 4 (depending on traffic) and Xmas will probably start around 5ish.
So I have all morning to goof around on the computer.
I'm taking the dog for his walk, he's led me to the middle school. Most likely to sniff for voles burrowing beneath the hill. We're going to be here awhile.
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Lake Mendota isn't frozen over completely yet, but there's still people trying to ice fish.
Keys and wallet in left pocket and phone in right for me, when actually wearing pants and going anywhere.
Keys and wallet in left pocket and phone where I last put it when I am at home. Interestingly, often when I put phone on the desk, it doesn't seem to receive calls.
Tiny T-Rex got Crookshanks a stuffed kawaii kitty, and a t-shirt with Steve Harrington with his Barb wired baseball bat with the caption "pretty damn good babysitter"
Crookshanks got Tiny T-Rex a Minecraft Llama and some Roblox figures.
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We got the General Clockwork Fairy Tale, A Collection Of Steampunk Fables .
I got the Sandpoint book, and Dawn Of The Planet of the Apes.
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I've only gotten one set of my gifts, I got Eversion and Cuphead from Scint.
As for what I gave:
> Ebon got a boxed set of the Mistborn: The Final Empire Trilogy.
> Kamon got a Carnage T-Shirt.
> Niece Number 1 got a box of rings and a plush BB-9.
> Niece Number 2 got two stuffed Snoopys and a beanbag turtle.
> Nephew is getting anthology books of the Dragonriders of Pern Trilogy and The Crystal Singer Trilogy.
Parents, sister, and BIL presents are pending due to small paychecks around holiday-time.
Scint's present I won't spoil here as she hasn't gotten it yet. ;)
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We also got Crookshanks a game called Unstable Unicorns and some color changing cute amorphous blob lamp we ordered months ago from Japan, plus a Hexbug, a spider (all my brothers are afraid of spiders, Crookshanks loves them).
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We've only done stockings so far, because Grandma reminded Eve that she hadn't assembled the baby's present yet (a red push-tricycle) so Eve and WW are frantically trying to put it together quickly while Grandma plays on the floor with all the kids.
My Great-grandma and my uncle are coming over later for dinner.
The very best thing so far was seeing my niece's face light up when she saw a Daniel Tiger plushie sticking out of her stocking, which was full of those soft vinyl books you can take in the bath, and teethers. She's been making lots of happy squealing noises.
Also, Hermione's stocking was full of chocolate frogs, which she never gets because they're too expensive. Val's was full of Avengers Hot wheels cars, play doh, and gummy spiders. Grandma and Auntie went totally overboard playing Santa this year.
I also got a super kick ass Krusty Krab stocking hat.
