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I have a group that I play with and we recently finished running through the world's largest dungeon. This is the 3X Era of D&D, so you can expect some interesting things here.
Anyways, our party consisted of four characters (and a fifth GM NPC/PC that ran with us because the GM couldn't NOT play) - a Rogue (Me), a Sorcerer (my friend), a Ranger (my wife), a Paladin (the GM's NPC/PC), and ... Drumroll, please? The subject of this thread:
A Half-Devil (Homebrew Half-Devil Template at that) Fighter/Warlock based off of his idea of how Dante from the Devil May Cry series would look in the 3X Era. Here's a rundown of how his homebrew Dante worked.
He had the ability to Devil Trigger like in the game, so for a certain number of rounds (of which I'm not sure how this template calculated them) he could turn into a full Devil which doubled the modifier of each of his physical ability scores and granted him a Fly Speed. This homebrew template also gave him Fast Healing which stacked with that granted from Warlock, which he didn't multiclass into until later, just so he could have a blast-type ability that was reminiscent of Dantes "guns". Because that's what Eldritch Blast is equivalent to in D&D apparently. His AC also doubled because he received Natural Armor of something like +10. Not sure how it works.
His invocations and misinterpreted understanding of the class features of a Warlock allowed him to constantly have Detect Magic on which he treated as Arcane Sight. "Well I turn my head in this direction so I automatically know what this is and how awesome it is and yadda yadda yadda."
It was helpful sometimes when we walked into an area with lots of baddies but it quickly took the fun out of things. Though mathematically and, for all intensive purposes, my Rogue beat him in a fight twice (once when he went berserk and once when I did; damn Infernal curses), he somehow misinterpreted the rules so that I didn't beat his Godspawn.
Before any of you start to wonder why the GM didn't intervene in any of this - she played favorites. Reason being? The guy playing "Dante" is her husband.
There's lots of other things about him, but that was a quick rundown of it for all of you.
Wow...by comparison, even the two players I've kicked out seem FABULOUS compared to those stories. Count your blessings, people.
Consequently, I have a player who likes lifting names he thinks are cool from pop culture, but never the identity associated with them.
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I don't know if I can top any of those, especially "Captain Autism." That's really bad, but I'm not all that surprised it came from a Vampire LARP.
Some of the worst PCs I recall are:
* A fighter/barbarian Goku/Cloud hybrid who served as a transport vehicle for an enchanted, huge-sized fullblade.
* The "God of Laziness" who was so lazy he couldn't be bothered to defend himself.
* A homeless-themed character for a freeform Streetfighter-type RPG whose "martial arts" style seemed to primarily involve shouting at people to get off drugs.
* A DMPC named "Nightstalker" who was "cursed" with immortality and a venereal disease that instantly killed any woman he slept with.
and perhaps the worst of the worst...
* A hobgoblin fighter named "Bandit of your mother's butt" who was basically played as an interspecies rapist.
* A homeless-themed character for a freeform Streetfighter-type RPG whose "martial arts" style seemed to primarily involve shouting at people to get off drugs.
That's awesome! It's like MC Hammer meets Mr. T with super powers. :D
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I thought the 4-armed public orgy having monk was the best, but the Shadowrun cop mishap is hilarious too.
Some of those stories are gold.
and for three months, he played a character named Majin Toaster. Who was, in fact, a toaster. With an M on it. He murdered another player's character by leaping into the bath with him.
Gold.
Does anyone remember, from the TV show "Red Dwarf," the sentient toaster?
Toaster: Would you like some toast?
Lister (trying to read): Mm-mm.
Toaster: Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast?
Lister: Mm-mm.
Toaster: You don't want any toast then?
Lister: No.
Toaster: What about a muffin?
Lister: Nothing.
Toaster: You know the last time you had toast? 18 days ago. 11:36, Tuesday the 3rd. Two rounds.
Lister: Ssshhh!
Toaster: I mean, what's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?
Lister: I do like toast!
Toaster: I mean, this is my job! This is cruel, just cruel.
Lister: Look, I'm busy.
Toaster: Oh, you're not busy eating toast, are you?
Lister: I don't want any!
Toaster: I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast. If you don't want any, then my existence is meaningless.
Lister: Good.
Toaster: I toast, therefore I am.
Lister: Will you shut up?
(In a later episode, Lister mentions "...the accident involving me, the toaster, the waste disposal and a 14 pound lump-hammer.")
Some of those stories (the vampire one in particular), the GM isn't much better than the players.Topless Robot ran a contest recently asking for players to submit the worst RPG character they've ever encountered. Submissions are pretty funny in general, they remind me of my early days of gaming.
The real question is can anybody here beat them?
You realize that I read maybe a 1/10th of them and a third of those were about vampire.
That's awesome! It's like MC Hammer meets Mr. T with super powers. :DIf only it were that cool. Unfortunately, the character was a caricaturized version of an actual homeless teen we knew.
Bummer, unfortunately I'm familiar with concepts that border too close to reality. In a previous campaign there was a dispute involving a player using vulgarity and storming from the table, it gave me a great concept that I was told would make the other players(who I still speak to) uncomfortable.
A Noble/Awakened Donkey Druid and his companion Human who is an old prospector. The prospector's claim to fame is his gosh-darned-talking-Magical-A**!
I will not tell the story about how I went to my home vampire LARP game to find an out of towner there... dressed like a purple platypus in pajamas... carying a stuffed purple platypus.. complete with bill-bib, big footy yellow webbed slippers, and a purple hood. And a clown fro.
And I will not tell you how he vehemently defended his character concept as a 'crazy malkavian'. And I will not tell you how I, as the Malkavian Priscus, killed him and hid the body with the help of every other Malkavian within two cities.
I just won't.
There are worse stories from the Cam to tell you...
I will not tell the story about how I went to my home vampire LARP game to find an out of towner there... dressed like a purple platypus in pajamas... carying a stuffed purple platypus.. complete with bill-bib, big footy yellow webbed slippers, and a purple hood. And a clown fro.
And I will not tell you how he vehemently defended his character concept as a 'crazy malkavian'. And I will not tell you how I, as the Malkavian Priscus, killed him and hid the body with the help of every other Malkavian within two cities.
I just won't.
There are worse stories from the Cam to tell you...
I would say he had the "crazy" part down well; that sounds pretty extreme even for a LARP.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32
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Worst characters in games I've run or played in...
- One player wanted to play a ghost cat in an Orpheus game... A ghost cat who couldn't communicate with the other players.
- I played in a 3.0 game where one of the players was the DM's wife.. Bad idea there. Her lowest stat was an 18, and oh, by the way, the entire story revolved around her. I got to run a game for the group once. I managed to have the evil dragon they'd been trying to kill for the past two years of gaming trick them into resurrecting him and then strand them in a volcano where a lava dragon promptly came closer to killing them than anything else ever had. I think they decided afterwards that my game never happened. Good times.
- Sorcerer PC who did not fully understand the concept of low hit points mean you don't stray far from the rest of the players and never, ever try to engage in melee with two dragon skeletons when you're a 5th level character.
- I once sta at a table for an hour at a game store before me and my friend looked at each other and said, "So, you want to go somewhere else now? Oh god yes" and left. The DM smelled like a sewer. One of the players was an obese woman who played a pixie and insisted on talking in a tiny voice while attempting to flutter her eyebrows. It was like all the gaming stereotypes suddenly personified and decided to run a game.