So I fly off for a couple of days and you guys still haven't given up? Even though the Device is almost done calculating the worst possible moments for each of you, selecting from your past, present, future, and alternate time streams? I'd say this will end badly for you, but the point is, it will be bad, but it will never end.
I don't have any bacon.
will it involve pie?
Do you like pie?
What kind of Joker wouldn't like pie?
None of you know the color of the sun.
bacon
None of you know the color of the sun.
The Sun is about 5,778 Kelvin and at that temperature is actually a pinkish peach, but effectively is white.
baconbacon!
bacon.
winning!
The Sun is about 5,778 Kelvin and at that temperature is actually a pinkish peach, but effectively is white.What I call pink you call bacon.
What I call blue you call pink.
The sun is blue.
I am right.
You are... you.
WIN ning.
The Sun is about 5,778 Kelvin and at that temperature is actually a pinkish peach, but effectively is white.
What I call pink you call bacon.
What I call blue you call pink.
The sun is blue.
I am right.
You are... you.
I sense an evil trick question, so I will answer "Depends on the pie."will it involve pie?Do you like pie?
It's not a trick question per se. See, the Device will choose the most horrible situation you could consider yourself in, and make that worse, and put you in that one perfect moment of misery, forever (for want of a better word, as it's a closed time loop).
So if you like pie, it will not be there. Except if it's something like this: You had some medical procedure done and were not allowed to eat anything a two whole days before and until 4 hours afterwards. To celebrate the end of this period of pure torture, you sold your soul to Satan to get the Perfect Pie. The best possible pie ever. No, actually, even better than that.
And now the time is over, you were waiting on a house that is built partially over a river, and the alarm clock you set to the exact moment you're allowed to eat again goes off, and you jump up on hunger and anticipation of this pie you were more than willing to trade your soul for.
This is all build-up, you see. Because the moment you jump up, your elbow bumps the pie, which was resting on a guard-rail that is right next to the river, and the pie falls into the river.
The very moment you realize what just happened, and that horrible realisation, coupled with the realisation that your soul is forfeit, and that terrible hunger, and the realisation that you don't have anything else to eat and will probably starve - that's the moment you'll be stuck in forever.
This is just an example, the actual situations will probably be a lot worse.
Look mommy there is an airplane in the sky.
|
I sense an evil trick question, so I will answer "Depends on the pie."will it involve pie?Do you like pie?It's not a trick question per se. See, the Device will choose the most horrible situation you could consider yourself in, and make that worse, and put you in that one perfect moment of misery, forever (for want of a better word, as it's a closed time loop).
So if you like pie, it will not be there. Except if it's something like this: You had some medical procedure done and were not allowed to eat anything a two whole days before and until 4 hours afterwards. To celebrate the end of this period of pure torture, you sold your soul to Satan to get the Perfect Pie. The best possible pie ever. No, actually, even better than that.
And now the time is over, you were waiting on a house that is built partially over a river, and the alarm clock you set to the exact moment you're allowed to eat again goes off, and you jump up on hunger and anticipation of this pie you were more than willing to trade your soul for.
This is all build-up, you see. Because the moment you jump up, your elbow bumps the pie, which was resting on a guard-rail that is right next to the river, and the pie falls into the river.
The very moment you realize what just happened, and that horrible realisation, coupled with the realisation that your soul is forfeit, and that terrible hunger, and the realisation that you don't have anything else to eat and will probably starve - that's the moment you'll be stuck in forever.
This is just an example, the actual situations will probably be a lot worse.
hmmm ... no, I don't like that pie.
dow
To bad!
so sad.
A skill can often be learned. Character cannot. Someone who has a bad
attitude, is not a team player, is not honest, and has other negative
character flaws is someone you do not want on your team no matter how
skilled they are.
Famous poet and writer Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “We do not count a
man’s years until he has nothing else to count.” This couldn’t be more
true when it comes to the world of business. In our society, too much
emphasis is placed on age—in reality, it's nothing but a number.
.
The Numbers
-----------------
Millions of people want to start their own business. They tell themselves
they will do it when they are 35, 40 or 45. Or perhaps they have already
surpassed those benchmarks and now they are looking in the rearview
mirror, saying they should have started their business back when they
were 35, 40 or 45. Many give up and think they have missed the boat, as
well as the golden opportunity to start their business. Not true!
People constantly ask me what the perfect age is for starting a business.
What's the answer? Now!
my business is WIN ning.
Here are a whopping 51 things you can give your employees that don’t include
cutting them a check:
1. Let the employee dump the one project they like least to you.
2. Use of the president’s office for a day.
3. The front parking spot.
4. A handwritten thank you note.
5. Name the conference room or lounge after them.
6. Inviting their spouse in for a lunch on the company.
7. A reserved parking spot.
8. A video game for the employee to give to their child.
9. A vacation day.
10. Brand-new desk, chair, or other piece of office furniture.
11. Bouquet of flowers.
12. Prepare a short video montage that celebrates the employee’s accomplishments.
13. A public thank you.
14. Send a birthday card to them at their home address.
15. Pay for them to take a fun class, such as cooking or skydiving.
16. Find something they like to collect, such as stamps or coins, and give them one for their collection.
17. Let them suggest a way they would like to be recognized.
18. Write a note to their family, sharing how important the person’s contribution to the company has been.
19. Keep the break room stocked with their favorite drink or snack.
20. Buy them tickets to a concert, show or other event.
21. Give them a small gift card from their favorite store.
22. Pick up a book or CD for them by their favorite author or artist.
23. Pick up the tab for them to have a family portrait taken.
24. Pay for their child to go to camp.
25. Buy a few extra boxes of Girl Scout Cookies from their daughter.
26. Give them a pair of movie tickets.
27. Help them with gas prices by giving them a gas card.
28. Provide them with a formal letter of appreciation for their personal file.
29. Create a “day pass” that they can turn in to take any day off, no questions asked.
30. Find a deal on a couple of three-day cruise tickets and set them up with a short vacation.
31. Allow them to be flexible with their hours.
32. Let them choose one day a week to work from home.
33. Have a birthday cake delivered to the office on their birthday.
34. Get each employee to write something positive about the person on a piece of paper, and give them the box of collected sayings, or frame them for the employee.
35. Start a company “Wall of Fame” and add them to it.
36. Find out what they are passionate about and give them a gift that relates to it.
37. Create and give them an award that they can keep and frame for a job well done.
38. Surprise them with an outdoor catered picnic.
39. Have a mobile car wash come to the business and clean their vehicle.
40. Get them a subscription to their favorite magazine.
41. Pay for a membership in a trade association of their choice.
42. Have a staff appreciation day once a month to provide them with a catered lunch.
43. Give them and their colleagues a catered breakfast.
44. Give them a new, improved job title.
45. Provide them with some one-on-one mentoring.
46. Institute a "playtime," where employees can play games or shoot some baskets.
47. Host an annual award ceremony and give awards to employees for their contributions.
48. Celebrate the anniversary of their joining the company.
49. Allow them to dress casually on Fridays.
50. Have a massage therapist come to the office once a month and give a massage.
51. Create a relaxation room, where the employee (and other people you are rewarding) can go during the day, to read or even play a video game on their break.
I had an idea; I don't know if it's legal though.
It's not gangsterish, just I don't think you can do it.
Here are 44 ways that you can reinvigorate your entrepreneurial drive:
1. Read Atlas Shrugged.
2. Watch videos from TED.
3. Get a mentor.
4. Think about all the people your business helps— your family, your employees, your vendors, their families, etc.
5. Speak at an industry conference.
6. Go to another industry's conference.
7. Tour a fellow entrepreneur's business.
8. Share your dreams with a friend and let the conversation flow.
9. Take a vacation—the break will recharge the old batteries.
10. Be grateful for what you have already accomplished.
11. Take a marketing course.
12. Get a tattoo with your own company's name or logo.
13. Teach an entrepreneurial class.
14. Meditate.
15. Recognize you are a rare breed. Really. Many people dream of being an entrepreneur, but only a select few actually pull it off.
16. Become a mentor.
17. Exercise regularly.
18. Regularly reward yourself for any and all progress.
19. Ask friends what good they think your business is doing for others.
20. Ask customers what you can do better, and what you already do great.
21. Have a party for all your customers. The “entrance fee” is simple: They must fill out a card on why your business is making a difference.
22. Think about having a “real job,” that will get your entrepreneurial drive going into overdrive.
23. Hire an intern to shadow you, and at the end of a few months report on their observations.
24. Repaint your office.
25. Introduce fun at the office—arm everyone with a Nerf gun!
26. Start a company wide profit share. That will give everyone the entrepreneurial drive.
27. Volunteer your time and your staff's time to help a needy cause.
28. Become your own “undercover boss.”
29. Keep a journal and record something you like about entrepreneurship every day.
30. Listen to “Eye of The Tiger” and exercise in a 1970s workout suit...doing windmills.
31. Read Fast Company magazine.
32. Take an accounting class.
33. Listen to an audio version of Think and Grow Rich.
34. Watch a video of Henry Ford's biography.
35. Just know that you are the reason our economy will recover. It is not government, it is not even big business, it is you, the entrepreneur, who makes the economy grow.
36. List all the things you love about your work, and do it at the beginning and end of the day.
37. Have a daily company huddle—a five minute, standing, get charged up meeting.
38. Take a tour of Zappos.
39. Go to Berkshire Hathaway's annual meeting and listen to Warren Buffett.
40. Read The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur (I know...that is self serving...but I promise it will reinvigorate your entrepreneurial drive!).
41. Surf the “Harvard Business Review” website.
42. Read the story of Gary Erikson's Clif Bar company (called Raising The Bar).
43. Create a mastermind group.
44. Go work for someone else for a day.
I had an idea; I don't know if it's legal though.
It's not gangsterish, just I don't think you can do it.
it'll never work. Nothing you do ever does.
Here are 12 of the dumbest business ideas of all time, which actually made millions:
1. The Pet Rock. This has to have been one of the dumbest ideas ever, yet it took off like nobody could have imagined. Selling for around $4 per rock, small rocks were sold in cardboard pet carriers, leaving the company founder to have the last laugh as he carried millions off to the bank.
2. Flowbee. A vacuum haircut. Really? Come on, you know someone was playing around with the vacuum attachments and got hooked, literally!
3. Mood rings. Need confirmation about what type of mood someone is in? The mood ring had it covered, when it became a fad in the 1970s. The ring’s stone was made of materials that would change color according to the body heat it came in contact with.
4. Snuggie. Being wrapped up in a blanket on the couch on a cold winter’s day wasn’t good enough. No, we needed it to have sleeves! Turns out the creator had an idea that got 25 million people to purchase blankets. Twenty-five million!
5. Chia Pet. This is that thing we all make fun of, yet purchase when we need a last-minute gift for someone. We may laugh as we make the purchase, but millions have been sold, over the years.
6. The Million Dollar Homepage. Selling an online homepage filled with 1 million pixels at a dollar per pixel seems like a crazy and un-doable idea. But it was done. One single homepage has generated the person behind the idea a cool million bucks, with basically zero overhead to boot.
7. The Clapper. Clap your hands and a light goes on and off? Yes, it seems nuts to me, too, but millions of people have purchased them.
8. Santa Mail. Just having kids write to Santa wasn’t enough. Some brilliant entrepreneurs decided that, for around $10, they would write back, posing as the man in red himself. With hundreds of thousands of parents taking part each year, these letters are making a bundle.
9. Doggles. For centuries, dogs got around just fine without sunglasses. But now, for $20, your dog can have their very own outdoor eyewear.
10. The fake foot. Ever been driving down the road and see one of those fake feet hanging out of the trunk of the car in front of you? Yup, someone paid for that—about $10—helping to make someone else crazy rich.
11. The Whoopee cushion. This is one that has stood the test of time. This practical joke is known from sea to sea, and has been selling non-stop since first hitting the mass market in the 1930s.
12. Antenna Balls. Next time you drive down the highway, check out how many antenna's have balls attached to the end of them. From smiley faces, to mini-basketballs and baseballs, these things adorn countless antennas. The founder got the idea from SUV drivers who put tennis balls on their antenna to protect it from snapping around when entering garages. Now, this entrepreneur is making millions.
Would anyone like a sandwich?
(Bacon is available for an extra charge.)
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Here are 10 whole numbers between 1 and 10:
1. 1
2. 2
3. 3
4. 4
5. 5
6. 6
7. 7
8. 8
9. 9
10. 10
"Bigs Weinner, from Austria, was murdered in the basement
of her apartment house yesterday," Captain Picard told Data.
"The murder weapon, a bread knife, was wiped clean of fingerprints.
But we have two suspects, Stephan Hawking and Kareem Abdul Jabbar,
a pair of rival suitors."
Picard went on to relate the details of the case.
"Big's body, dressed in sneakers, shorts, and a white sweatshirt, was
found by the janitor at noon, about an hour after the time of death.
She had been duly registered as a crew member aboard Stephan Hawking's
yacht for the ocean powerboat race that afternoon. She'd been in his
crew before."
"Hawking got to the docks around noon, an hour late. He claims he was
delayed by motor trouble, which his on-board robot fixed. Nobody saw
him do it. He could have spent that hour killing Molly."
Kareem Abdul Jabbar was seen talking to Molly that morning in front of
her apartment. He claims he asked her to lunch. He says she refused
because she had an afternoon engagement and had to hurry to her hair
stylist."
"Kareem Abdul Jabbar, now an artist, says he then went back to his
studio and painted all day. But he has no confirming witnesses either.
"I talked to Hawking and Jabbar for hours," concluded Picard. "I can't
shake their stories. One of them is lying, I'm sure of it."
"So am I," said Data.
Whom did Data suspect?
Data knew Kareem Abdul Jabbar lied in saying Molly told him earlier she was going to get her hair styled.
No woman who was going yacht racing would have her hair set.
Here are 10 whole numbers between 1 and 10:
1. 1
2. 2
3. 3
4. 4
5. 5
6. 6
7. 7
8. 8
9. 9
10. 10
No, those are 10 whole numbers between 0 and 11.
What year was the number 0 added as a number and not just a place holder?
I'm thinking 900 AD..
Edit: I read > this < but just got confused.
What year was the number 0 added as a number and not just a place holder?
I'm thinking 900 AD..
900 AD never happened.
900 AD never happened.What year was the number 0 added as a number and not just a place holder?
I'm thinking 900 AD..
The Big Bang happened because God divided by zero.
900 AD never happened.What year was the number 0 added as a number and not just a place holder?
I'm thinking 900 AD..
What about 901 AD ?