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69. Some form of marital aid. The Kender, suffering from delusions of innocence, will be unable to comprehend any object falling outside a G-rating and will ask what it is.... He will then proceed to invent an "innocent" delusion which he will firmly believe, misusing the marital aid as whatever "innocent" thing he claims it to be.
Ah, you mean like an aerodrome windsock?
What?
Are we making a new list?
+2 wand of vibrating.
Well if it did shocking damage to anyone who touches it, it wouldn't be totally useless.
76. A grand piano, no stringsWhy not, Kender are such cartoons!
Sticking with the cartoon-ish idea.
77. A 100 lb anvil.
78. A boxing glove on a spring which punches them. 1d6 non-lethal damage.
79. A grenade. And the grenade's pin.
80. Big bag of greasy meatballs. Kender is covered with a non-magical grease spell. Lasts till licked off.
81. An Awakened cricket that will declare that it is their conscience and nag them for all their failings, most particularly stealing. If they misremember events differently, the cricket will correct them and then bewail their lying as well. (Note: The cricket is LG, and squishing it would be an evil deed, which Kender by the write-up are incapable of.)
82. Death which, annoyed that the kender interrupted his rounds, immediately kills the kender -- no save throw.
(not really I just hate kender)
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81. An Awakened cricket that will declare that it is their conscience and nag them for all their failings, most particularly stealing. If they misremember events differently, the cricket will correct them and then bewail their lying as well. (Note: The cricket is LG, and squishing it would be an evil deed, which Kender by the write-up are incapable of.)
83. An Awakened cricket, that will declare that it is the kender's conscience, and convinces the kender (no save) that he/she is actually an awakened wooden puppet, who must prove they deserve to become a truly living creature.
The kender cannot be convinced otherwise, until they make a DC30 Will save, allowable once per week. They will even develop psychosomatic stigmata, in the places where their 'strings' would be.
While the cricket is present and audible to the kender, the kender must pass a DC 15 Will save to smoke cigars, drink beer, shoot pool, or speak to anthropomorphic foxes. If the cricket is not present or audible, the Will save is reversed, the kender must pass the save to not do all the above whenever offered.
The kender will also assume that all females wearing blue are fey, and pester them repeatedly that they have been well-behaved, and to let them be 'a real boy' (or girl).
85. Foamy the Squirrel
Who lives in a kender pocket way in the back?
Foamy the squirrel!
Red and furry and about to attack?
Foamy the squirrel!
He’s not really rabid, he’s completely berserk.
Foamy the squirrel!
He may be cute but he’s one nasty jerk.
Foamy the squirrel!
Foamy the squirrel!
Foamy the squirrel!
86. A ring, belt, necklace, or some other accessory they forgot to put on. Unfortunately it acts as an audible alarm spell whenever they try to steal anything.
87. A splintered wooden object which they get 1d6 splinters stuck in their hands. First each requires a Perception check DC 15 to find and then a Heal check DC 15 to remove. There is a 25% chance for each to require 1d4 days to remove. While any splinters are in their hand they receive a -2 penalty to anything requiring your hands to use.
88. A dwarven high school biology paper written on the evolution of the kender. Received an A+ for suggesting that kender were the unholy descendants of Takhisis and a skunk. Try not to think about it.
88. A dwarven high school biology paper written on the evolution of the kender. Received an A+ for suggesting that kender were the unholy descendants of Takhisis and a skunk. Try not to think about it.
89. A wizard's notes on how his devolution spell turned a Kender into a rat.
90. A loaded flintlock pistol. A Kender shoots it'self in 10, 9, 8,
91.A cartoon weasel. Acts on the standard insanity chart. Summoned for 10 minutes. Has as many dice as the Kender or cartoon who pulled it out.