Hey Jerry,
You did ask so here goes.
You should put the sentence about the maximum number of hit points (and even the sentence about how the hp fade away) straight after the sentence starting 'Once per day...'.
Tell us all about putting hp in, then tell us about getting them out.
You should probably explain that it is a positive energy attack earlier and that it hurts undead, whether they are willing to be touched or not.
Picky stuff (because you are a Superstar competitor now). :-)
- Capital letters! Craft Wondrous Item
- No space after gp
- Probably should say 1d10 hit points
Hey Jerry,
You did ask so here goes...
Yeah, I'd be pretty stupid to ignore the advice of a Superstar!
I tried to implement the changes you suggested. Please feel free to offer up any other suggestions and thanks for taking the time.
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Aura moderate necromancy; CL 6th
Slot --; Price 7,200 gp; Weight --
Description
This imperfect, rose-tinted gemstone resembles a teardrop when held one way or a broken heart when turned the other. Its pale facets are typically marred by a single crack or chip near the gem's middle.
Once per day, anyone holding the gem may spend a full-round action to transfer any number of his own hit points into the gem, causing the gem's color to deepen as hit points are absorbed. A maximum of 60 hit points may be stored within the gem at any time. Stored hit points fade away at a rate of one hit point per minute until the gemstone is once again pale and empty.
Once the Tear contains hit points, a standard action is required to touch a target with the gem. This healing touch drains the gem completely, transferring the stored hit points to the target (up to the target's maximum).
Touching an unwilling target requires a successful melee touch attack and is a positive energy attack that harms undead. Transferring hit points in this manner is less reliable; for every 10 hit points contained within the gem, only 1d10 hit points are actually absorbed by the target. For example, if the gem currently holds 45 hit points, only 4d10 hit points transfer as the gem empties.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, vampiric touch; Cost 3,600 gp
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I think all the feedback has improved this item, but have I gone too far from my original idea? After looking at it for so long, I just can't tell so hopefully others will be willing to chime in with their thoughts.
Is this item good? Would you use it in your campaign or be happy to find it as a player?
I think all the feedback has improved this item, but have I gone too far from my original idea? After looking at it for so long, I just can't tell so hopefully others will be willing...
I was thinking about this, it might be more simple/elegant to say that it does positive energy healing and that the tear simply has no effect on creatures not affected by positive energy healing (undead etc).
I think there are several things that got this into the Top 32, it's innovative but simple, and also the descriptive text up is cleverly evocative (to me at least). Get these things in next year's entry and you could have back to back Superstar tags after your name.