Ok here's the background for whats happening.
I joined up with a gaming group at my local game store about 8 months ago and fit in pretty well. all but one has been playing since 1st edition. recently that game ended and i ended up tryin my hand at gming for the first time running Council of Thieves.
During the last session towards the end one of the players who in the past has repeatedly made remarks about how bad of a system d20 is and how reluctant he is to play it, got upset over a rule as written in the book. Specifically that you can use acrobatics to attempt to move through an occupied space with an acrobatics check vs cmd + 5. he made a big issue of it and everyone at the table was telling him that it does work as soon as I rolled the check to see if the opponent succeeded (she did not btw) he threw his character sheet at me packed up his stuff and refused to participate the rest of the encounter/session saying how much bs it was and how many holes d20 has in it.
I took from his responses that night that him saying he was done along with his other comments that he wouldnt be back for future sessions. I hated it to happened but his atitude made it seem as if there was nothing i could do to keep him as a player. so I extended an invitation to one of my longtime gaming friends who took it to replace him. now im getting the message through one of the other members of the group who is a semi close friend of the problem player that he does intend to be back for the next session.
i'm kinda stuck now as to what to do. I have maintained i didnt want a group of more than 6 players, which if i let him come back and let the new guy join as intended it would be 7 players, I dont want to tell my friend nevermind now that hes accepted and rearranged his schedule for it but at the same time I dont want to upset the group by not allowing a member of the group who was in the group long before I was. Did I not wait long enough to replace him? now that its done what should I do as a gm? has anyone experienced anything close to this? The rest of the group says they are enjoying the game immensley and I dont want to ruin the game for the rest of the group by a bad decision here.
Thank you in advance for your help.
Play with seven. No biggie. If you can already adjust difficulty for a party of 6 vs. 4, adding another player won't hurt.
You should also make it clear that in the future if he is going to throw a hissy fit like that again, there will not be an option to return, or in fact mention it's not up to him to assume he has a place at your table, especialy after his childish behavior. Either he wants to play and contribute or he wants to be disruptive and create an uncomfortable atmosphere...he can't do both.
Play with seven. No biggie. If you can already adjust difficulty for a party of 6 vs. 4, adding another player won't hurt.
You should also make it clear that in the future if he is going to throw a hissy fit like that again, there will not be an option to return, or in fact mention it's not up to him to assume he has a place at your table, especialy after his childish behavior. Either he wants to play and contribute or he wants to be disruptive and create an uncomfortable atmosphere...he can't do both.
+1
The OP didnt do anything wrong here, but in the future, if you have a large conflict at the table (whether it is a blow up or anything else) you should speak to the player away from the table. Sometimes tempers run hot during a session. We all care about our characters and our stories. Taking a step back and having a conversation later on (but before the next session) is always a good idea.
At this point I would play with 7 but talk to the player and indicate that throwing a tantrum about a rule at my table is not acceptable, and if he does it again, he wont have a place at it.
First of all if your DMing and he had a fit, you are not required to let him in disrupt your game again. You stated no more than six, he had a tantum and left, his space is now filled with a different player. If you wish to allow him back do so as a temporary player. He has a fit his out. The DM is owed a degree of respect. He has stated that he doesn't like the game so he should have the option to leave.
Get a Stick, put it next to the table. If anyone starts Hit a B@#*$.
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Part of me would want to tell Mr. Hissy Fit that he blew his chances with his disrespectful actions and that, at most, I would keep him in mind as a replacement should someone else have to leave (AND no one else be available!)...
But, in reality, I'd take the high road and play with 7 and consider it an opportunity to add a friend to the game that I might not have taken if not for the incident.
I **WOULD**, however, make him plainly aware of the fact that you didn't appreciate his behavior. Don't threaten him with expulsion from the game or anything... that would just make him and any friends he has at the game uncomfortable (You know... however big a sphincter my friend is, he's still my friend!). Just let him know that you respect him and you expect it is a SHARED respect.
You know, you may get a big surprise... he may feel pretty bad about what he did and apologize without needing to be talked to, at all. Long lasting friendships have started in sillier ways.
Get a stick. Hate won't back fire.
Play nice if you like but be prepared to step on his ass. As a DM you are expected to be fair the player should be held to no lower standard.
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I once has the displeasure of telling a player that, if he couldn't change his attitude, he wouldn't be welcome back at the table.
The player in question was an egotistical, know-it-all, self-righteous pain in the butt, but he had been gaming with us for a few years, so we all just sort of accepted him warts and all. After his final blow-up, I talked to each player face-to-face away from the table (I bought alot of lunches that week), got everyone's thoughts and opinions, and sent him an email giving him the ultimatum.
It went about as well as you can expect: he blew up, forwarded my email to everyone else and gave the entire group a "you're either with me or against me" speech. Surprisingly, no one sided with him (although one player was openly sympathetic towards him). As it currently stands, only two players out of that group aren't playing with us today (both made career moves that took them out of state).
I look back on those events as the messiest, most difficult thing I had to do as a GM. However, my group is better for it today as a result.
-Skeld
Let him play but, let know that this is the rule set that you are useing. If he does not like them then he does need play. Also he need to act like adult with his dissagreements.
I agree with the fish. Just get a stick and slap a b*@#&.
You could always do the chicken s**t thing and tell everyone the game is cancelled, then in 2 weeks invite everyone back but him, and continue where you left off...
Yes, I've seen this happen. It didn't end well.
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It is incredibly hard to change someone's personality. If I were in your shoes, I would ask myself the following questions:
1. Do you ever see this guy coming around?
2. If not, will you have the patience to tolerate him?
3. If you do, will his behavior ruin the fun for others?
I will repeat what many others have said. Playing D&D is about fun. Don't be afraid to let someone who ruins the fun go.
If you don’t want that kind of behavior at your table, make it clear that it’s unacceptable. Since you never told him that he was unwelcome, you should probably allow him to come back, but be prepared to deal decisively with any problems he may cause in the future.
Thank byou all for your responses and opinions. I think I can modify it for the extra player but I will make sure to speak with him before the starrt of the next session about it and make it clear what I expect moving forward.
Had a guy in a game once get pissed off when his Paladin's horse got killed. He got up and yelled and threw dice across the room. We told him he was done. Nobody was going to put up with that. He begged to be let back in but we said no.
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"The needs of the many out weight the needs of the few."
If this player is a determinate to the group you need to remove him/her. If not then give them one more chance and tell them that were all adults here and that was appropriate behavior at the table.
I had to deal with removing 4 players(and also telling a GM that we didn't want to play his game anymore) in my time and I found the best way to do it is to talk to everyone outside of your gaming time and get a consensuses before confronting your player. Make sure you point out that this is the groups will not yours as some players will believe this is the GM being egotistical.
I would also do this in person, not over the phone or e-mail, but that might just be me.
First thing, its not your fault, he's freaking nuts.
Second thing, its not your fault, he's freaking nuts.
It doesn't sound like he was just having a bad night. It sounds like he's a [non d20 system here] Purist , and only [insert non d20 system here] has any creativity or realism or value, but has to play d20 because not enough gamers recognize the awesome magnificence of [insert non d20 system here]
Play with 7. Chances are pretty soon you'll be back down to 5 or 6, still a good sized group.
5th thing, its not your fault, he's freaking nuts.
I'd tell him he's not entitled to ruin the night for the others in the group and if he blows up again, I'd tell him to grow up and get out. His problems aren't yours. I said this in another thread just recently in a slightly different way.
Life is too short to be screwed around by morons who can't play a game without having some kind of break down. This is your time to have fun too, no one should be allowed to ruin it for you and get away with it.
Certainly not every week...
Also, I'd play with 7 simply because I've never played with more than 4 players and I'd like to see how it'd work out =D.