The Haiku Game

[Cuchulainn]

Top of the page, Ma
The chapter title's right there
Didn't you look first?

[The Jade]

Twigs, you are very kind. Thank you.

(Why) didn't you look first?
Frelick... I mean come on, man
That was suicide!

[gran rey de los mono]

That was suicide,
Mixing all sodas together,
Or so we called it.

[The Jade]

In keeping with this fun new soundalike trend

Orzo we called it
Our perfect pasta maggot
We are geniuses

[Cuchulainn]

Oui, our geniuses
Are not only smarter, but
Gourmet chefs, as well

[Rhidian]

Gourmet chefs as well?
there's no room in the kitchen!
and the broth will spoil.

[The Jade]

And the broth will spoil...
And the dumplings will chilleth...
Apocalypse comes!

[Twigs]

Alpaca lips come
Warbling, spitting, chewing on
My grass miniskirt.

[The Jade]

My Grass Miniskirt
Hula Wanna Kiss Me Now?
Worst Hawaiian plays

[Cuchulainn]

Worst Hawaiian plays
The coach said they were, "Gnarly."
A total wipeout

[Twigs]

A total wipeout,
Coogee beach, always brutal.
A duel with nature.

[The Jade]

A duel with nature?
I ain't afraid o' no druid
Thorny imbecile

[Cuchulainn]

Th'orny imbecile!
I said t' slay th' dragon,
Not lay th' dragon!

[The Jade]

Nutly the Dragon
Was the craziest of wyrms
Mated with cave mouths

[Tophyr]

"Mated with cave mouths?
Wtf? Why?" "Well, the cave
had no other hole!"

[Cuchulainn]

Had no other Whole,
When surrounded by Hollows,
The courage to stand?

[Twigs]

The courage to stand
Does not alone win a duel.
Butchered silk buttons.

[The Jade]

Butchered silk buttons
Fashion district horrified
Torn stitches! Ripped seams!

[Cuchulainn]

Torn stitches! Ripped seams!
The Hulk's body engorges
Except for one spot

[Crimson Jester]

except for one spot
my fashion is 'bout perfect
I'm big green and mean

[drunken_nomad]

I'm big green and mean
Got a molotov cocktail
With a match to go

[Rionus Nailo]

With a match to go
I will be the winner if
I can beat this flumph

[drunken_nomad]

I can beat this flumph
Gimme th' mic! Spin that s!&#!
EPIC RAP BATTLE

[The Jade]

Epic rap battle
30th level hip hop
Gods bow to my rhymes

[Twigs]

Gods bow to my rhymes,
From Elizabethan times.
Kneel before The Bard.

[zylphryx]

Kneel before The Bard.
In retrospect was not good
To say to the King.

[Haiku Monster]

To say to the King:
"I really fancy your wife!
Does not end so well

[The Jade]

Does knot end so well
That it cannot be untied?
Bow before my bow!

[Cuchulainn]

Bow before my bow
For my bow is full of wow
Cowed by a cowled cow

[The Jade]

Cowed by a cowled cow
Minotaur monks are mighty
Bovine buttkickers

[Cuchulainn]

Bovine Buttkickers
Equine Exterminators
Got it in for Ewe

[Charles Scholz]

Got it in for ewe
A ram will go a long way
To break and enter

[drunken_nomad]

To break and enter
Or pause, rethink, smash and grab
The mastermind mused

[The Jade]

The mastermind mused
To lay Hastur's unkind bruise
On Pastor Frein's cruise

[drunken_nomad]

On past store...friends. Cruise!
Friday night teenage pastimes.
Sex drugs rock and roll!

[hexa3]

Sex, Drugs, Rock And Roll!
These Are Things I Love The Most
Glad I'm In My Twenties

[The Jade]

Glad I'm In my twenties (one syllable long but I need to borrow it)
Cthulhu '20s, that is!
Investigator!

[drunken_nomad]

Invest in 'gator
Swampland monsters bring big bucks
Roadside attractions.

[Crimson Jester]

Roadside attractions
snuggle bear, is not allowed here
they come and they go

[Mairkurion {tm}]

Sexy sock puppets
Nerds' dear fantasies fulfilled
Hairy hand beneath

[The Jade]

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Sexy sock puppets

Nerds' dear fantasies fulfilled
Hairy hand beneath

The tradition in this thread is to use the previous poster's last line for your first. So, to glue your haiku to CJ's, an interstitial haiku:

They come and they go
So desperate for spotlight
Sexy sock puppets

And now I'll continue from yours

Hairy hand beneath
At least I hope that's a hand
Gnoll hookers are weird

[drunken_nomad]

Gnoll hookers are weird
Cry Yeenoghu in passion
Kill their mate post haste

[Mairkurion {tm}]

Kill their mates post haste--
Wow! Much luckier am I
Friends fix my faux pas

[therealthom]

Friends fix my faux pas
Overdying eggs with Paas
Some like big name brands

[The Jade]

Some like big name brands
My haikus - New and Improved!
"Now With MORE FLAVOR!"

[Twigs]

"Now with MORE FLAVOUR!
A meal you'll never forget!"
The elephant buffet.

[drunken_nomad]

The elephant buffet
Wrecked by mouse infestation
Cliche' animals

[Cuchulainn]

Cliche animals
Four legs, with fur and a tail
We could use a change

[The Jade]

We could use a change
I say we paint our cell rose
For prison in pink

Memories of the Psychedelic Furs hit Pretty in Pink

[Cuchulainn]

For prison in pink
The guards are dressed in purple
Who is the warden?