I was playing a monk grappling with a a creature in deeper darkness and the creature you could see but i could not, i initiated the grapple. Can the creature that has sneak attack get a sneak attack on my while I'm grappled? What if i can see just fine but because if have lost "a bonus to my dexterity", as the rules state, but not all of it, can it still get sneak attack?
"The rogue's attack deals extra damage anytime her target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has a Dexterity bonus or not), or when the rogue flanks her target." That line in particular is the problem how it says a dexterity bonus my dm said because i had lost a dex bonus to my ac because the way sneak attack is worded then the enemy can get sneak attack because grapple imparts a -4 dex penalty.
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i believe you do not get or deliver sneak attack just because you are in a grapple (since the grapple conditions imparts a dex penalty but does not DEPRIVE YOU OF DEX) in 3.5 you were denied your dex to anyone except the being you were grappling, that has changed.
if you do not have blind fight (or darkvision) and grappling in complete darkness then you may actually get sneak attack (or get sneak attacked)
A dex penalty does not allow sneak attacks, negating of dex bonus does, if you were in deeper darkness without blind-fight you could get sneak attacked for that reason.
You could not get sneak attacked by reason of getting a - 4 penalty to dex.
Deeper darkness blinds creatures with darkvision as well, so that would not have mattered.
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The specific wording for sneak attack says:
The rogue's attack deals extra damage anytime her target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has one or not) or when the rogue flanks her target.
The grapple condition states:
Grappled creatures cannot move and take a -4 penalty to AC.
A penalty to dex is NOT the same as being denied a dex bonus, thus you you do not meet the requirements to be the target of a sneak attack.
that is what i had thought but my dm "interpreted" that having a penalty to dex was being denied dex even though not all of it, and the hole deeper darkness things goes there are some creatures that can see in any darkness for example dark stalkers.
and to clarify, it doesn't matter how much the penalty is and how much your DEX bonus is,
i.e. if your DEX bonus is +4 (or +1), yes, the -4 penalty EFFECTIVELY cancels out,
but you are not "DENIED" your DEX bonus, so cannot be Sneak Attacked just because you're Grappled.
(Of course, another enemy could be Flanking you and thus enable Sneak Attack)
that is what i had thought but my dm "interpreted" that having a penalty to dex was being denied dex even though not all of it, and the hole deeper darkness things goes there are some creatures that can see in any darkness for example dark stalkers.
These are two different things:
There is having a dexterity penalty. It means that some circumstance makes you more clumsy. You still act like usual, except more clumsy.
And then there is being denied your dexterity bonus to AC (the "to AC" part is important here). That means that you're caught off guard and cannot react. It's not being clumsier. It's not being able to use your agility. Some guy picks you off from a rooftop with a sniper rifle, you can as well have super speed - you don't see the bullet coming, so you just cannot dodge it.
So there's the basic difference: Being made less dextrous (which affects everything associated with dexterity) and being suprised (which denies you your dex bonus to AC, and AC only).