*looks about furtively*
I love traps. Big, small, lethal, funny, traps are awesome.
So, what's your favorite trap, my Kobold brothers and sisters?
I like the one with the big shiny door that actually leads to the bottom of the ocean. The Kraken ate a couple of my litter, but we finally got the door finished! That was AWESOME!!
Then the adventurers opened the door. When the flooding was done, we got to keep all their stuff!
Mwa ha ha ha!
*looks about furtively*
I love traps. Big, small, lethal, funny, traps are awesome.
So, what's your favorite trap, my Kobold brothers and sisters?
I like the one with the big shiny door that actually leads to the bottom of the ocean. The Kraken ate a couple of my litter, but we finally got the door finished! That was AWESOME!!
Then the adventurers opened the door. When the flooding was done, we got to keep all their stuff!
Mwa ha ha ha!
I say as the first line of business, we ban poodles. Just as the default.
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It's about time someone made a topic worth me showing up for.
I'm personally very proud of my Dumb Humans' Door trap. A drop from a floor above deposits some oversized invaders (whose unnecessary height and weight causes the floor above to collapse, nyahahahah!) in a small room with a single door, which closes on their arrival. Next to the door is a button or lever on the wall (your choice, really!) but don't write anything there! Make the door lock itself when it shuts too.
Just have a construct set up as part of the wall. When the door closes, the construct starts counting down from ten in Common. Watch the humans scramble to pull the lever or push the button! Every time they do so, the countdown restarts. Drop in a few fun things like poison gas or Stinking Cloud or Cloudkill if you've a sorcerer to spare it! They'll just keep smashing the button or yanking the lever, never realizing that if they let it count to zero the door opens itself!
Another fun one is a closed door with two buttons. Button One causes spikes to shoot out of the floor right in front of the door, right where the button-pusher usually stands. Button Two makes spikes shoot out of the rest of the floor! Nyahahahah! The door isn't even locked, stupid humans!!
How about we do as a stalling device a door with lots of little holes in the wall all around it and a fake pit trap under it, along with a tiny needle-sized hole by the knob. Then, while the adventurers fool around, they set off the alarm, and then we release the dire weasels!
Bwahaha!
My fellow Kobolds, you make me very proud!
I also like the trap that has a narrow necked shatterproof bottle with a massive diamond at the bottle. Dust the diamond with a highly allergic swelling agent and watch how many stupid fleshies get their hand stuck in the bottle in their greed!
Mwa ha ha!
Mine is an evil, squeaky laugh
Please no traps that involve "throwing" a mustelid at a victim. It's no fun for anyone.
We like laced cookies
We have also used infected loot
Contact paralyzing poison on pamphlets are also classics
Please no traps that involve "throwing" a mustelid at a victim. It's no fun for anyone.
How about dropping?
How about dropping?Please no traps that involve "throwing" a mustelid at a victim. It's no fun for anyone.
Teleporting might work as well
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Teleporting might work as wellHow about dropping?Please no traps that involve "throwing" a mustelid at a victim. It's no fun for anyone.
Ooh, I like your style! Teleweasel trap!
*runs off to order one from Acme*
Those are all forms of "throwing", so no.
Oh, yeah. No rabies, either. That's definitely no fun.
Filth fever? Slimy Doom? Plague?
Kobolds just wanna have fun!
Kobolds should be able to bring their pets into this thread...anybody seen Wolfie? I'm worried about him.
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If you must, use, um, poodles. Yeah, that'll work.
Who wouldn't want a nice exploding poodle?
Kobolds should be able to bring their pets into this thread...anybody seen Wolfie? I'm worried about him.
*looks around furtively*
Was he about this high? Furry? Yummy?
I don't think I've seen him, sorry.
If you must, use, um, poodles. Yeah, that'll work.
Who wouldn't want a nice exploding poodle?
Ooh, teleporting plague carrying explosive poodles! Where do I sign up?
Those are all forms of "throwing", so no.
Oh, yeah. No rabies, either. That's definitely no fun.
Incorrect,If you teleport the target and not the mustelid
Incorrect,If you teleport the target and not the mustelidThose are all forms of "throwing", so no.
Oh, yeah. No rabies, either. That's definitely no fun.
Look! A not-yet-exploded exploding poodle!
Species 715 is of no threat
Please no traps that involve "throwing" a mustelid at a victim. It's no fun for anyone.
I don't know what you're talking about, it's plenty of fun from this side of the Wall of Force/Illusionary Wall combo.
Those are all forms of "throwing", so no.
Oh, yeah. No rabies, either. That's definitely no fun.
Filth fever? Slimy Doom? Plague?
Kobolds just wanna have fun!
Wait a minute! #23, don't listen to that guy! He's a weasel! *Gets out cage* Heeere weasel weasel weasel!
My gods! (This thread,) It's full of kobolds!
{eyes grow three sizes larger and twinkle} Kobolds everywhere!
...anybody seen Wolfie? I'm worried about him.
Heya Kobie! I got lost in the Uncharted Territories for a bit. Also, I may have picked up a weird poodle template- {glances up worriedly at his new set of antenna} hopefully it's not contagious.
...anybody seen Wolfie? I'm worried about him.Heya Kobie! I got lost in the Uncharted Territories for a bit. Also, I may have picked up a weird poodle template- {glances up worriedly at his new set of antenna} hopefully it's not contagious.
Excellent! A poodle/wolf spider/canine crossbreed goes perfectly into our recipe for a flesh ooze that I'm going to drop on the heads of adventurers later! *Forgets weasel and holds cage out to Wolfy* Heeeeere, crossbreed crossbreed crossbreed!
Wolfie! I was starting to worry about you! (Plus, I think KC was getting kind of lonely...)
I wonder what we'll do for fun in this thread? Everybody seems to want to build traps. If they're to catch new pets, I should bake some treats for them!
UGH! Who's this trapper? Flesh ooze doesn't sound very nice.
Wolfie! I was starting to worry about you! (Plus, I think KC was getting kind of lonely...)
I wonder what we'll do for fun in this thread? Everybody seems to want to build traps. If they're to catch new pets, I should bake some treats for them!
UGH! Who's this trapper? Flesh ooze doesn't sound very nice.
No, no, see, they make excellent monsters to drop on adventurers, AND they can make an excellent stew!
Wolfie's a pet! Not a monster or a stew! And he's also not a monster stew or a stew monster.
Pets Wolfie behind the antenna.
Wolfie's a pet! Not a monster or a stew! And he's also not a monster stew or a stew monster.
Pets Wolfie behind the antenna.
Say, are you a kobold?
How about we do as a stalling device a door with lots of little holes in the wall all around it and a fake pit trap under it, along with a tiny needle-sized hole by the knob. Then, while the adventurers fool around, they set off the alarm, and then we release the dire weasels!
Bwahaha!
Sweetie, it's time for your bath. You'll have time to annoy your little friends later.
Am I a kobold!!!
Sir, I will have you know that I am the NUMBER ONE BUDDY of the bestest kobold in all of history: Kobold Cleaver! You must not know him.
Sweetie, it's time for your bath. You'll have time to annoy your little friends later.How about we do as a stalling device a door with lots of little holes in the wall all around it and a fake pit trap under it, along with a tiny needle-sized hole by the knob. Then, while the adventurers fool around, they set off the alarm, and then we release the dire weasels!
Bwahaha!
Who let this human into the thread? RELEASE THE WEASELS!
...Also, I may have picked up a weird poodle template- {glances up worriedly at his new set of antennae} hopefully it's not contagious.Excellent! A poodle/wolf spider/canine crossbreed goes perfectly into our recipe for a flesh ooze that I'm going to drop on the heads of adventurers later! *Forgets weasel and holds cage out to Wolfy* Heeeeere, crossbreed crossbreed crossbreed!
Oooo, ok {hops into cage} Wheeee, my first cage! {new antennae brush against cage, disintegrating it} Oh pooh! My new poodle-antennae broke it!
Wolfie, I think that's a rust monster thing, not a poodle thing!
Looks up and sees June
MONSTER! THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE THREAD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Jumps on Wolfie's back
Let's grab KC and get out of here!
Kill the Wabbits [with traps]!
Who let this human into the thread? RELEASE THE WEASELS!Sweetie, it's time for your bath. You'll have time to annoy your little friends later.How about we do as a stalling device a door with lots of little holes in the wall all around it and a fake pit trap under it, along with a tiny needle-sized hole by the knob. Then, while the adventurers fool around, they set off the alarm, and then we release the dire weasels!
Bwahaha!
I hope all of you know that you're going to be cleaning up after these weasels. I have enough messes to clean up with Kobold Cleaver's potty training - I don't want to be cleaning up after all of you, too.
Oooo, ok {hops into cage} Wheeee, my first cage! {new antennae brush against cage, disintegrating it} Oh pooh! My new poodle-antennae broke it!...Also, I may have picked up a weird poodle template- {glances up worriedly at his new set of antennae} hopefully it's not contagious.Excellent! A poodle/wolf spider/canine crossbreed goes perfectly into our recipe for a flesh ooze that I'm going to drop on the heads of adventurers later! *Forgets weasel and holds cage out to Wolfy* Heeeeere, crossbreed crossbreed crossbreed!
Hmm.
Time for bone cage! *Runs back to workshop*Hey, human on premises! FLESH GOLEMS! *Opens cage* CHARGE!
And set off mines on sector E3. Wait, I meant 3--
*Kobold's workshop explodes*
Wolfie, I think that's a rust monster thing, not a poodle thing!
Looks up and sees June
MONSTER! THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE THREAD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Jumps on Wolfie's back
Let's grab KC and get out of here!
It's not running! It's a strategic retreat! It sounds braver!
Wolfie, I think that's a rust monster thing, not a poodle thing!
I'm confused. The tentacle monkeys said the donor DNA was from Rusty the Poodle.
Looks up and sees June
MONSTER! THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE THREAD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Jumps on Wolfie's back
Let's grab KC and get out of here!
She's a monster? But she bakes such nice cookies...
I hope all of you know that you're going to be cleaning up after these weasels. I have enough messes to clean up with Kobold Cleaver's potty training - I don't want to be cleaning up after all of you, too.
{races up with Kobie on his back, touches her with antennae} Uh oh. Her cankles are immune to my new powers... RUN!
Wait...we have a pet dragon now?
{grabs Kobold Cleaver in claws, scoots to nearest outerplaner gate} Is it this way?
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Wait...we have a pet dragon now?
I'm not a pet, frost it. And I'm only half-dragon. But I'm 100% kobold baby!
And you... those are some really nice traps. I hereby declare you an honorary kobold. Welcome to the tribe, horned one!
Wait...we have a pet dragon now?I'm not a pet, frost it. And I'm only half-dragon. But I'm 100% kobold baby!
And you... those are some really nice traps. I hereby declare you an honorary kobold. Welcome to the tribe, horned one!
You're half dragon? Get her, Frosty, use your breath weapon!
And watch out for that devil...he probably wants something for those traps.
Wolfie, I thought you knew the way? Well, just go! It can't be worse than this!
Wait...we have a pet dragon now?I'm not a pet, frost it. And I'm only half-dragon. But I'm 100% kobold baby!
And you... those are some really nice traps. I hereby declare you an honorary kobold. Welcome to the tribe, horned one!
You're half dragon? Get her, Frosty, use your breath weapon!
And watch out for that devil...he probably wants something for those traps.
...... I'm not a pet blast it! (No respect for a sorcerer, what do they teach whelplings these days?)
And breath weapons are overrated. I much prefer... Cold Substitution Meteor Swarm!
And you... those are some really nice traps. I hereby declare you an honorary kobold. Welcome to the tribe, horned one!
Thank you.
I might actually want something for those traps, let me think on it for awhile ;>
Wow, it's a swarm of Kobolds.
I feel much joy for my brothers and sisters. But apparently the human woman can't read.
*plants a sign reading "Fresh spiral cut honeybaked ham, this way*
*covers the pit trap that leads to the Astral*
Wow, it's a swarm of Kobolds.
I feel much joy for my brothers and sisters. But apparently the human woman can't read.
*plants a sign reading "Fresh spiral cut honeybaked ham, this way*
*covers the pit trap that leads to the Astral*
Huh. They're giving away ham.
Well, it always gives me the runs.
Huh. They're giving away ham.Well, it always gives me the runs.
*peeks out from the murderholes* *mutters quietly in Draconic and goes scampering to find #24*
"We need more ham gas traps!"