Wanna bet?
I mixed in some safflower seeds!
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You may have to bet him a rutabaga pie. We're running low on turnips.
{polishes another turnip, paints a pupil on it, and places into "CelestCo Genuine 'Hag Covey Eye'" box} These things are selling better than ShamWows made from slaadi hides.
{hampers commerce by sitting in shipping box}
Turnips, sunflower seeds, neither makes me puke.
That's in the pie too! Yummy!
{hampers commerce by sitting in shipping box}
G~&%~!nit Schrodinger, not again!
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Ooooh, a visitor! Would you care for a slice of tursaffecac pie?
That's odd. There is a pharmacy package here for a T.A. Edison.
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I suggest we check with Celestial Walter White.
That's odd. There is a pharmacy package here for a T.A. Edison.
Clearly it's got the wrong address.
Does he like turnips?
The only time I offered him a turnip, he said he was going to show me his bathtub. It sounded rather ominous.
Jetted turnips? It couldn't be.
I asked the ComWarner Cable people to send a technician over, but the technician hasn't shown up yet,
*discreetly uses his pocket PortalGenX 5000 to "check" on his Acid Pit*
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You should just summon a tech. Then if he encounters some fatal hardship on the Prime Material -- such as an XP-starved adventuring party or mis-aimed avalanche of cranky badgers spell -- he just reforms on his native plane.
Fasting via stapling your mouth shut helps too.
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Tekeli-li!
There, that should summon a tech for us.
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*bubbles up out of the garbage disposal*
T3K3L1-L1!!
Oooooh, that was quick! Can you check our cable box?
*shambles over*
*gnaws*
*TV begins displaying ... interesting graphical patterns*
Which Kardashian is that?
Actually, wait, I know who it is: Fish Kardashian.
Angel Fish is a Kardashian?
Actually, that makes a lot of f%&#ing sense!
No, it's an "it." A shape-shifting killer clown with a fetish for all things Lovecraftian.
Now where is my holy avenger..?
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I, uh, think I used that to plunge out the toilet. I had a reeeally evil burrito the other night.
*TV begins radiating colour out of space*
:::hands you a pack of blessed gas-x:::
Peee-uuuuuu! I can smell it from here.
Well, I hope you didn't scratch the finish on my sword.
Well, look at that, they're doing broadcasts in Technicolor again.
Nah, I'm good boss. Maybe a holy syllable or even a holy letter will do.
<Picks up the remote>
I don't know how to work this thing! Which tentacle do I press to change channels?
*flickers to marathon of All My Thousand Children*
That's the ticket! Thanks boss!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to vomit.
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¡HURRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Oh, hey, are they finally going to resolve that storyline where Donna is actually sleeping with The Black Goat of the Wood's good identical twin?
That was great! Your trajectory was off by 1.8 degrees, but other than that...