A Chimp and Twelve-Year Old were sharing a Pepsi...

[Mairkurion {tm}]

DON'T READ THIS THREAD IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY JOKES ABOUT THE RECENTLY DECEASED. MANY MAY BE TASTELESS.

Spoiler:

Not to say that that won't make them funnier...

[NASCAR Jack]

With Michael gone, has anyone seen Latoya lately?

[Moorluck]

NASCAR Jack wrote:

With Michael gone, has anyone seen Latoya lately?

Actualy Latoya died and MJ, hoping to get past the drama of his life has switched places with her, he will now be moving to the nearest city with unsupervised young boys.

[Gark the Goblin]

Don't make fun of the dead. It's not funny. I'll have you know that Michael and I were very... "close" friends. I'm very distraught.
Michael showed me the world. Now he's gone and... sob

[Mairkurion {tm}]

Age at the time of this friendship?

[Aberzombie]

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

[Gark the Goblin]

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Age at the time of this friendship?

Oh, I was about... five. Then he sniff left me for a two-year-old.

[Gark the Goblin]

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

Tell me! Tell me! Just say it in yuppiespeak, and in a spoiler.

[Moorluck]

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

My skin is living organic metal, you can't get any thicker than that.

[Gark the Goblin]

I'm a goblin. Those who didn't have thick skins got bitten to death by other baby goblins.

[Aberzombie]

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

Tell me! Tell me! Just say it in yuppiespeak, and in a spoiler.

Fine, here they are....

Spoiler:

Joke #1
I here McDonalds is naming a sandwich in Michael's honor - the McJackson. It's 50 year old meat between two 10 year old buns.

Joke #2
The found out what killed MJ. Seems when Farah Fawcett got to Heaven, God said, "I'll grant you one request." Farah responded, "I want all the children on earth to be safe..."

You realize we'll probably be hated for this...

[Mairkurion {tm}]

If people pass the warning at the top and still get offended, they need a kick in the head. I'll be available later in July to personally administer these.

[Gark the Goblin]

Aberzombie wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

Tell me! Tell me! Just say it in yuppiespeak, and in a spoiler.

Fine, here they are....

** spoiler omitted **

You realize we'll probably be hated for this...

Nah, there's plenty of other posts just as bad. Anyways, Markurion specifically said this was a joke thread!

Gotta love the Fawcett one...

[Misery]

Aberzombie wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, you guys are really testing me. I've already heard two jokes at work, but I'm not sure I want to repeat them here. Too many folks with thin skins....

Tell me! Tell me! Just say it in yuppiespeak, and in a spoiler.

Fine, here they are....

** spoiler omitted **

You realize we'll probably be hated for this...

... those are just classic comedy

[David Fryer]

I heard the biggest Michael Jackson joke of all today on Meet the Press. They compared him to Tiger Woods and Barak Obama. My favorite line, "the significace of Michael Jackson was significant."

[James Keegan]

"Don't mock the dead, boy. They have eerie powers."

[Gark the Goblin]

David Fryer wrote:

I heard the biggest Michael Jackson joke of all today on Meet the Press. They compared him to Tiger Woods and Barak Obama. My favorite line, "the significace of Michael Jackson was significant."

Michael Jackson vs. Tiger Woods

Michael Jackson can sing. Tiger Woods can golf. MJ became white. TW stayed black. MJ can out-molest TW any day. TW married... someone (I'm too lazy to look it up).

Michael Jackson vs. Barack Obama
Michael Jackson was a pop icon. Barack Obama is the president of the USA. MJ is dead. BO is alive. MJ was gay. BO has a wife and two kids. MJ couldn't go out into the street without being mobbed. BO couldn't go out into the street without being mobbed. They have something in common!

[Aberzombie]

James Keegan wrote:

"Don't mock the dead, boy. They have eerie powers."

That's right. His ghost is going to come down and moonwalk all over us.

[Gark the Goblin]

Aberzombie wrote:

James Keegan wrote:

"Don't mock the dead, boy. They have eerie powers."

That's right. His ghost is going to come down and moonwalk all over us.

Or maybe it's up on the moon...

[GentleGiant]

Some more fun...

Spoiler:

In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups, so kids can still get their lips around his rim.

Michael Jackson died and reached the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says to him.. ''Im sorry Michael but you've been pretty bad when you were alive, I dont think you'll be able to meet God.." to which Michael responds " I dont care about that! Wheres that baby Jesus?"

Good thing I don't believe in going to Hell. ;-)

[flash_cxxi]

heh heh... thes jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

[Aberzombie]

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... thes jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Yeah, I'm already thinking there will be a special place in hell, just for the folks who post on this thread.

[Snorter]

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Age at the time of this friendship?

Oh, I was about... five. Then he sniff left me for a two-year-old.

Yeah, but you guys don't live long, so two in goblin years, is like, errr...26?

[Dogbert]

Aberzombie wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

Don't forget:

Spoiler:

..the McJackson Flurry, a white-chocolate ice cream.

[Snorter]

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... these jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Well, look who's here.

Should have known you couldn't keep away!

Don't laugh too hard; you'll pop your waterbed again.

[BlueBird of Happiness]

Well...err...at least you all seem HAPPY! YAY!

[Gark the Goblin]

Snorter wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Age at the time of this friendship?

Oh, I was about... five. Then he sniff left me for a two-year-old.

Yeah, but you guys don't live long, so two in goblin years, is like, errr...26?

Actually, it's more like 15 in terms of development.

And don't joke about the joke!

[Gark the Goblin]

BlueBird of Happiness wrote:

Well...err...at least you all seem HAPPY! YAY!

I'm not happy. I'm very, very sad.

[Aberzombie]

I've got a couple more, one of which is similar to GentleGiant's recycling joke...

Spoiler:

Since Michael was mostly plastic, his body will be melted down and turned into legos so that, for once, little kids can play with him.

Also, Target has announced a nation-wide sale in his honor - All childrens' pants half-off.

[flash_cxxi]

Snorter wrote:

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... these jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Well, look who's here.

Should have known you couldn't keep away!

Don't laugh too hard; you'll pop your waterbed again.

Like a moth to the flame...

I bloody hope not! Too frickin' expensive! Not to mention I added the conditioner too early and had to siphon some water out... that stuff tastes freakin' disgusting!

[houstonderek]

Aberzombie wrote:

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... thes jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Yeah, I'm already thinking there will be a special place in hell, just for the folks who post on this thread.

I'll DM or play the cleric when we get there. Gonna be in Hell, may as well do it right!

[CapriciousFate]

Spoiler:

It has been confirmed. Michael Jackson died of food poisoning.

He ate 10 year old nuts.

[the DZA]

Did you hear his last request?

Spoiler:

"Take me to the Children's Hospital..."

[David Fryer]

King of Pop Dead at Age 12

[Aberzombie]

David Fryer wrote:

King of Pop Dead at Age 12

Glad to see that the fine folks at The Onion will be joining us in Hell.

[Db3's Astral Projection]

I've been thinking about if I should post our not and I have decided...

Spoiler:

How is MJ different from a plastic bag? The plastic bag is safer for little kids to play with.

Thriller! Thriller!

[Db3's Astral Projection]

houstonderek wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... thes jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Yeah, I'm already thinking there will be a special place in hell, just for the folks who post on this thread.

I'll DM or play the cleric when we get there. Gonna be in Hell, may as well do it right!

Spoiler:

Halfling Sorcerer1/Paladin9/White Dragon Disciple with the Draconic Heritage(Black Dragon) feat.

[Mairkurion {tm}]

I love Thriller, but I always thought the werecreature looked more wildcattish than wolfish. But don't let me derail the jokes.

[Gark the Goblin]

flash_cxxi wrote:

Snorter wrote:

flash_cxxi wrote:

heh heh... these jokes are so wrong... yet so right... :)

Well, look who's here.

Should have known you couldn't keep away!

Don't laugh too hard; you'll pop your waterbed again.

Like a moth to the flame...

I bloody hope not! Too frickin' expensive! Not to mention I added the conditioner too early and had to siphon some water out... that stuff tastes freakin' disgusting!

You should fill it with beer instead.

[Gark the Goblin]

Db3's Astral Projection wrote:

I've been thinking about if I should post our not and I have decided...

** spoiler omitted **

Thriller! Thriller!

Is this something actually funny? I don't have time for non-funniness.

[Aberzombie]

Come on people! We're slipping here. More jokes needed!

[Joshua J. Frost]

This thread has been locked. *edit* Not interested in seeing an entire thread of pedophile jokes on paizo.com.