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You. Yes, you. Learn to !#$%ing drive.
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Is it dark? Turn your headlights on.
Is it raining? Turn your headlights on.
Is it foggy? Turn your damn headlights on.
Is it humid enough that your windows misted over as the temperature inside your car changed? TURN YOUR DAMN HEADLIGHTS ON.
You have turn signals for a reason. Use them. Nobody behind you? USE THEM. People are still trying to get on the road you are on. Turn signals give information they may need to know.
And remember to turn the damn things off when you're done.
Yellow does not mean speed up.
TURN THE DAMN CELLPHONE OFF.
DO NOT WATCH TV OR PLAY VIDEOGAMES OR READ WHILE DRIVING.
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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I've driven in rush-hour traffic (admittedly, Greensboro's rush-hour traffic is nothing compared to, say, Atlanta), with some jerk riding my bumper the whole way, getting pissed off at *me* that I can't push the 50 cars in front of me down the road any faster. That's the guy that speeds around you, flips you off, and wedges himself into the 2-second following distance between you and the next car.
You. Yes, you. Learn to !#$%ing drive.
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Is it dark? Turn your headlights on.
Is it raining? Turn your headlights on.
Is it foggy? Turn your damn headlights on.
Is it humid enough that your windows misted over as the temperature inside your car changed? TURN YOUR DAMN HEADLIGHTS ON.
You have turn signals for a reason. Use them. Nobody behind you? USE THEM. People are still trying to get on the road you are on. Turn signals give information they may need to know.
And remember to turn the damn things off when you're done.
Yellow does not mean speed up.
TURN THE DAMN CELLPHONE OFF.
DO NOT WATCH TV OR PLAY VIDEOGAMES OR READ WHILE DRIVING.
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
So, on a dark, rainy and foggy night a car, without its headlights on, came up behind you, started tailgating you and was being driven by a guy who was having sex with his partner while playing a video game on his cellphone? And then he sped by you to get to the intersection while the light was still yellow, but he forgot to turn on his turn signal before he raced around the corner?
Quite a sight that must have been. ;-)
Some people should be tied behind their vehicles. With rubber bands, so they bang against the car repeatedly.
Not just those who want to push you because they think you're way too slow.
If the sign says 70, go 70! I don't expect you to go over, but going 50 where you can go 70, with perfect driving conditions (no rain, no darkness, no wind, no sharp turns, no nothing) isn't "driving safely", it's an attempt on my life.
If there's no speed limit, do drive faster than 90. I know it doesn't mean you have to go full throttle, it doesn't mean you should go full throttle, but the guideline of 130 is there for a reason. But if you will only do 100, it's fine. BUT GET THE HELL OFF THE FAST LANE IF YOU DON'T GO FAST.
Another fun thing: Passing cars. Annoyed at people not keeping their distance? You have every right to be. Except if your idea of passing someone in a no-holds-barred, speed-limit-less zone is to drive 5, maybe 6 kph faster than the guy to your right. Preferrably right before a really popular exit.
And the rule of thumb when to go back to the regular lane is "when you can see the whole car", not "when you can no longer see the car behind you"
Don't get me wrong: I'm all against tailgating, but some people provoke it, and make it really hard for one not to do it. Secure driving is a must, but some people enjoy being an obstacle.
You. Yes, you. Learn to !#$%ing drive.
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Is it dark? Turn your headlights on.
Is it raining? Turn your headlights on.
Is it foggy? Turn your damn headlights on.
Is it humid enough that your windows misted over as the temperature inside your car changed? TURN YOUR DAMN HEADLIGHTS ON.
You have turn signals for a reason. Use them. Nobody behind you? USE THEM. People are still trying to get on the road you are on. Turn signals give information they may need to know.
And remember to turn the damn things off when you're done.
Yellow does not mean speed up.
TURN THE DAMN CELLPHONE OFF.
DO NOT WATCH TV OR PLAY VIDEOGAMES OR READ WHILE DRIVING.
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
So, on a dark, rainy and foggy night a car, without its headlights on, came up behind you, started tailgating you and was being driven by a guy who was having sex with his partner while playing a video game on his cellphone? And then he sped by you to get to the intersection while the light was still yellow, but he forgot to turn on his turn signal before he raced around the corner?
Quite a sight that must have been. ;-)
Hey, it's not my fault that this chicks loves her kicks.
Sure, it's dangerous, maybe even suicidal, but everything's better than the clamps and the "intruder".
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
There has got to be a story behind this one. :D
You. Yes, you. Learn to !#$%ing drive.
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Is it dark? Turn your headlights on.
Is it raining? Turn your headlights on.
Is it foggy? Turn your damn headlights on.
Is it humid enough that your windows misted over as the temperature inside your car changed? TURN YOUR DAMN HEADLIGHTS ON.
You have turn signals for a reason. Use them. Nobody behind you? USE THEM. People are still trying to get on the road you are on. Turn signals give information they may need to know.
And remember to turn the damn things off when you're done.
Yellow does not mean speed up.
TURN THE DAMN CELLPHONE OFF.
DO NOT WATCH TV OR PLAY VIDEOGAMES OR READ WHILE DRIVING.
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
Do NOT come to China unless you want to blow an artery.
Do NOT come to China unless you want to blow an artery.
And do NOT watch this video clip.
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I have no problem with slamming on my brakes if there's someone tailgating me. In Texas, 99.9% of the time, the car hit from behind is not liable. I just tell the cop a cat crossed the road and I brake for critters.
Best part? Nice little insurance check a few months later, car fixed for free, and the jack ass tailgater's insurance premiums go up...
And, there should be a law stating that if you see some idiot talking on the phone while driving (or doing eye makeup or reading a paper or whatever), you can, if you catch them at a light, pull them bodily from their car and shove whatever it is wherever on their body the sun don't shine...
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Actually, the National Safety Council recommends that you leave three seconds between you and the car in front of you. :)
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Do NOT come to China unless you want to blow an artery.And do NOT watch this video clip.
I thought you were going to link to this clip.
As for sex in moving car, dont knock it till you try it.
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The fully open newspaper
Putting on makeup while looking in the mirror and talking on the cell
Texting and talking on cell phone, 2 phones!
DOG on lap, head out window
Drinking beer, beer bottle in hand while arm is out the window (Carona)
Seen sex a few times
My 3+ hr daily commute sucks but there are some highlights here and there... :)
You know what really leaves me flabbergasted ... people who text while driving. Cell phones are bad enough but texting?!
Guilty. I hate myself for it, but sometimes it happens.
try living in an area that gets tourists who love to brake for views of freakin' leaves in the autumn. Nothing like going 15 mph in a 45 zone.
Yaah, try living in an area where our population goes up 1,000% for the summer. And there are lots of ocean/beaches/quaint shops/old houses to slow down and gawk at. Yech.
And for the cell phone yakkers/texters, I have a bumper sticker similar to >this one< on my car. I have almost been killed three times by cell phone yakkers. You gotta chat or text, pull your manky ass OVER! Worse than the drunks on a Saturday night, I swear ....
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That might have been a poor choice of words, Mikaze... ;)AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
I'm going to go ahead and claim it was intentional all along.
(It wasn't)
Do NOT come to China unless you want to blow an artery.And do NOT watch this video clip.I thought you were going to link to this clip.
You. Yes, you. Learn to !#$%ing drive.
Two-second following rule, learn it. You have no excuse not to live by it. If you cannot comply with the rule, you are unfit to operate what is essentially a mobile death machine.
Is it dark? Turn your headlights on.
Is it raining? Turn your headlights on.
Is it foggy? Turn your damn headlights on.
Is it humid enough that your windows misted over as the temperature inside your car changed? TURN YOUR DAMN HEADLIGHTS ON.
You have turn signals for a reason. Use them. Nobody behind you? USE THEM. People are still trying to get on the road you are on. Turn signals give information they may need to know.
And remember to turn the damn things off when you're done.
Yellow does not mean speed up.
TURN THE DAMN CELLPHONE OFF.
DO NOT WATCH TV OR PLAY VIDEOGAMES OR READ WHILE DRIVING.
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
It's not that hard, dammit.
*hangs head in shame*
Sorry...
What if I'm alone in the car. Is it okay then?
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
One of my friends mastered that technique in high school. I stopped driving around with him after that.
Car Wars anyone?
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Another fun thing: Passing cars. Annoyed at people not keeping their distance? You have every right to be. Except if your idea of passing someone in a no-holds-barred, speed-limit-less zone is to drive 5, maybe 6 kph faster than the guy to your right. Preferrably right before a really popular exit.
I missed my exit because of this, this morning. I was pissed!!!!.. I am surprised how often this has happened to me over here in Germany.. You would think in Germany the Fast Lane would be..ummm Fast!
You would think in Germany the Fast Lane would be..ummm Fast!
Ah well - thats similar to believing in santa claus :-) I especially love those drivers blocking the fast lane and trying to educate those behind them about the right speed, or those driving in the middle of three lanes, probably thinking that the right lane is for slow trucks only.
OTOH, if you get wedged between trucks on a two-lane Autobahn, most drivers on the fast lane won´t let you change lanes - I guess out of spite, so I kept driving in the fast lane if there are a lot of trucks in the right lane as well.
Stefan
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Ah well - thats similar to believing in santa claus :-)
Wait, you mean that guy isn't real!?! Then who the hell has been coming in my house all these years and leaving me cool gifts?
I especially love those drivers blocking the fast lane and trying to educate those behind them about the right speed....
Best phrase I've ever seen to describe folks like that is "left lane vigilantes".
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
One of my friends mastered that technique in high school. I stopped driving around with him after that.What if I'm alone in the car. Is it okay then?
AND STOP COPULATING WHILE THE VEHICLE IS IN MOTION.
Yeah. Sure. 'Cause he didn't need your help anymore.
Best phrase I've ever seen to describe folks like that is "left lane vigilantes".
Nice! Most of them are elderly "gentle"men - especially the hat-wearing kind. "Mann mit Hut fährt selten gut" as we say in Germany - roughly, a man with hat is seldom a good driver. It rhymes in German.
Stefan
More peeves - Drivers who:
- on seeing the '______ lane closed' sign immediately race past two or three miles of cars in the other lane.
- STOP in the right-of-way. It happens, all too often.
- drive slow in the left lane and then pace you, once you draw alongside them in the right lane.
- Truckers who pass one another on a mountain road, in order to maintain their 20-mile-under-the-limit-speed.
- flip cigarettes (or whatever other trash) out their windows.
I've often fantasized about mounting a paintball gun under the hood, on some kind of remote lift-and-fire mechanism. Do they make a paintball gun roughly analogous to a .50 cal?
People who speed up to pass you, just to pull in front of you and turn right/left. Annoys me to no end...
You're not one of those people who matches the speed of the car next to you so that the person can't get in front of or behind you, are you? I hates those people. HATES THEM!!!
When you're making a right turn on red, check to see whether there are any pedestrians and cyclists about to enter/already in the cross walk! We are so very fragile compared to your murder machine. :(
Stebehil, in the Midwest, we don't have a rhyme (though I remember my grandpa saying that one), but "hat driver" is a term of scorn for that sort of driver.
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Please fragile life forms crossing the street, even in a crosswalk, remember that my ginormous murder-machine will actually kill you, my brakes are not anti-gravity tech that can stop on an atom, and the crosswalk is not a magical invisible force field of pedestrian safety +1--it is a bunch of lines painted on the road, really, that's all it is.
Please change the music on your iPod, answer your phone, text your friends, and set that next stone in minecraft after you are safely back on the sidewalk.
And please, really, look before crossing, even if you have a green hand/man of safety (nevernevernever cross when you have the red hand/man of doom!)--and especially look if your crosswalk is unlit, unguarded, and otherwise not in any way connected to anything except my eyeballs.
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Here's one that I like...
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
If there is no body in front of you and 10 cars all clumped up behind you, get the hell out of the way because you are the problem.
The speed limit is 60, but that doesn't mean you have to go 60! 53.5 is a much safer speed, provides better fuel efficiency, and is the fastest I'm willing to drive!
I will make sure all you fast-movers obey the law and save the environment!