Wait, he's only half orc? Someone help me find the other half before someone else does!
(I mean before someone else helps me find the other half)
*Looks around* I don't see Someslaad Else here. *Shrug* Just half of a pair of moleskin pants filled with overcooked aspargus. Flings it all at Gruumush.
Those are mine. It's hard to find good moleskin these days.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
The overcooked asparagus are mine from way back. Really had no use for them. The moleskin pants looked like a good place to keep them safe and ferment a bit longer.
I like the way you think, Nacho.
Basement, third door, second shelf down, behind the quasar.
Unless it's gone quantum again, yeeesssss.
Gruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumsh, isn't a big threat. He's like the Big Bad Wolf, all huff and puff, no bite.
*juggles pickled herrings*
{rolls giant katamari ball of old lady candy over Gruumash, assimilating his biological distinctiveness into the Borg confectionery} Viola! He is hereby imprisoned and can no longer harm himself.
Gruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumsh, isn't a big threat. He's like the Big Bad Wolf, all huff and puff, no bite.
*juggles pickled herrings*
This wolf may not have been a danger to little piggies, but have you seen what he did to the little one with a red hood, and her grandmother?
I think that has something to do with Amby's grandma candy, yeeesssss.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Bitey love candied grandma!
Eeeeeeexcellent.
|
"Wow, that was quite something. I feel sorry for Minion 62 who you imprisoned in some strange confection candy that I certainly don't want anything to do with.
But I am an orc so really in the story you are telling like the first edition Gruumash we look like pigs and thus we are the protagonists in that story and thus beat the evil wolf and win.
I may or may not be a threat I just don't like Slaadi eggs incubating and exploding from the chests of my worshippers. Now if it was an elf or dwarf or even gnome I am cool with that.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
We're equal-opportunity inseminators, yeeesssss. We discriminate not based on race, species, gender, alignment, accent, skin color, hair color, wind direction, occupation, number of pets, number of children, number of household objects used in inappropriate manners, wealth, prestige, prestige classes, homecooked dinners, s-s-s-staplers, paperwork, paper planes, planes, trains, automobiles, automated services, food services, service industries, industrial revolutions, revolutions in the dust, revolutions of the earth, resolutions of the earth, resolutions of the state, state affairs, marital affairs, marital status, status quo, assigned quota, lost assignments, lost-and-found, fox and hound, nothin' but a hound dog, Friday hot dogs, no hot dog buns, hot cross buns, men on crosses, boots in arses, sticks in arses, bumper stickers, bumper cars, rubber baby buggy bumpers, baby cakes, cakes that are lies, little white lies, what lies in dust, dust bunnies, vorpal bunnies, vorpal swords, snicker-snacks, kit-kats, mars bars, open bars, open doors, open source, source of all life, life choices, life styles, what's in style, out of style, out of date, out of line, out of time, out of sight, out of mind, the mind's a plaything of the body, body count, body snatchers, snatchers in the rye, rye bread, wheat bread, whole grain toast, buttered toast, toaster strudels, stray dogs, dog days, last days, end of days, end of time, end of the universe, restaurants thereof, and/or lack of any of the above.
That list always makes me hungry.
Especially since it's never the same thing twice. Bet you can't egg just one.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
...I may or may not be a threat I just don't like Slaadi eggs incubating and exploding from the chests of my worshippers. Now if it was an elf or dwarf or even gnome I am cool with that.
So you're fine with elves or dwarves or gnomes exploding from your worshippers chests, but not teeny little slaadi larvae with big ol' puppy dog eyes? That, sir, is clear anti-slaadi discrimination and violates EekEekOC rules!
I once saw a gnome spawn in a fern. I will never be the same.
I don't think we have established whether or not the victim...I mean host...I mean "parent to be" does or does not survive the incident.
Pain and agony aside gentle-slaads, remeber therapy and the golden rule planned parenting, .
"Hey, has anyone seen the slaadlings lately. I hope they hadn't got into the thread's electircal generator."
I once saw a gnome spawn in a fern. I will never be the same.
I once saw the same. I will never be a gnome spawn in a fern.
*scamper around the thread, leaving little slaadling poops everywhere*
That's my babies! Nacho, I'd worry more about the quasar; isn't it powering the whole thing? And you know how they love quasars!
It's the soothing subsonic hum they make. Lulls them right to sleep, yeeesssss.
Kicks in the front door to the thread with explosive force
Greatings you disgusting turds of chaos! Someone has a star fragment and is using it the ferment deeds of chaos. I'm here to collect my quasar and chew bubblegum.
And I'm out of bubblegum...
Throw an aura of stellar flame and G-type gravity shealth around himself With cosmic senses capable of navigating the chaos of thread, he moves towards his objective
Hey now. I got that quasar unfair and square. Initiated the supernova myself and everything, yeeessssss. That was a lot of work!
Aarrrrrgggg! THAT! WAS! MY! FAVORITE! STAR!
Slams Gentleman Nurn with a gravimetric pulse. Proceeds to fins the quasar. Movs towards the basement, third door, second shelf down.
*discorporates*
... well damn. That was my favorite suit. Urghk. One of you mind him while I pull myself back together here.
Thank you sir, you're an aardvark and a lumbar.
I'd like to report a break-in and vandal.
Hey burny guy, we're eating paint chips. Want some paint chips?
Hey Always-Sunny-in-Philadelphia-Cream-Cheese dude, you should talk to those writers over at Marvel. They've got several Quasars. And last I heard, they don't believe in continuity anymore... that's multiple violations of multiuniversal penal code 110.2.0!
|
Hey Always-Sunny-in-Philadelphia-Cream-Cheese dude, you should talk to those writers over at Marvel. They've got several Quasars. And last I heard, they don't believe in continuity anymore... that's multiple violations of multiuniversal penal code 110.2.0!
And building code 867530nineyine
Bah. I'm a god, judge, marshall, and congressman. My cosmic search warrent says so right here. You're all damn lucky I done have you rounded up and imprisoned in the Seven Heavens for possessing illegal contraband.
Where is it. Ah, got it.
Collects quasar and leaves the thread via trans-dimensional phasing.
Well damn. Now I have to go make another one. Maybe two, just to piss him off.
Also talk to Demogorgon about insurance again. I bet my premiums just skyrocketed.
He'll be back. just leave it someplace where he won't find it again.
I hate fixing doors.
We have doors? I just use a beaded curtain.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
It certainly works better than the old bearded curtain; it always smelled like wet dwarf--yuk!
Was that what that smell was? I thought it was yappy poodles. Did the big bright dude ever realize that a quasar isn't actually a star?
I don't think he cares.
Maybe not, but it'll be fun watching him get sucked into the supermassive black hole. That's what he gets for driving insurance rates up.
{looks around closely} I think he stole that old B&W TV that stopped working an eon ago.
Which works out well, now none of the baby slaadlings will be tempted to egg it and get shocked.
Black holes don't bother him. He just inverts the gravitational pull and re-ignites them. Something to do quantum physics and restructuring mater on the sub-atomic level. Never got in astrophysics in my college days as a handsome young slaad. All that rhetoric just made my head spin.
Still does today.
head spins slowly in a full 360
Mentioned something about them holes being a door to another parallel universe
Do any of you slaads have a paperclip?, I'm pretty sure I can get it working.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
It looks like you're trying to operate a quantum matter reconstructor. Would you like some help with that?
*Perfect! wraps paperclip around the international grandstand joint thus converting the quantum matter reconstructor into a quantum matter deconsructor*
"We'll have a rude surprise waiting for glow boy if and when he ever comes back"
*Starts chewing gum*
This was not what I had in mind.