To me that handwashing is an overwhelmingly worse atrocity against our collective and individual humanity than some mistaken executions because it encourages more casual attitudes towards the entire judicial and penal process.
Sam, I don't often agree with you, but in this case I think you've gotten it exactly right. Intentionally causing something to happen carries responsibiity for the action, even if a proxy is used to commit the actual act -- and has the added onus of attempted deception (of self, others, or both). To reason otherwise is to defend oneself from murder charges on the grounds that "the bullet killed him; I didn't! I didn't even shoot the bullet: the gun did!"
It's analogous to those supremely misled PETA members who condemn hunting, all while buying meat at the supermarket. Just because they didn't personally shoot the animal doesn't mean that no one killed it. (For the record, I'm not a vegetarian; I just accept responsibility for my indirect role in butchering the animal.)
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Ever wonder why pedophiles are treated so brutally in prison? It gives murderers and thugs a rare excuse to feel morally superior. "Yeah, I strangled that little girl to death, but at least I didn't look at pictures of her!" As if the act of finding and brutalizing someone who did something worse in some way removes their own misdeeds -- instead of merely adding to them, as is actually the case. In no way am I trying to stick up for pedophiles, by the way -- I'm just disagreeing that committing evil acts upon them somehow makes a person virtuous.
Derek:
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It's analogous to those supremely misled PETA members who condemn hunting, all while buying meat at the supermarket. Just because they didn't personally shoot the animal doesn't mean that no one killed it. (For the record, I'm not a vegetarian; I just accept responsibility for my indirect role in butchering the animal.)
Point proven.
Right on. I showed that to a hunter friend of mine, who replied, "they're like those kids who used to remind the teacher on last period on Friday, 'Mrs. Crabapple! You forgot to assign us our homework!'" Some people rabidly support causes without necessarily thinking them through.
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Sam, I don't often agree with you, but in this case I think you've gotten it exactly right. Intentionally causing something to happen carries responsibiity for the action, even if a proxy is used to commit the actual act -- and has the added onus of attempted deception (of self, others, or both). To reason otherwise is to defend oneself from murder charges on the grounds that "the bullet killed him; I didn't! I didn't even shoot the bullet: the gun did!"
. . .
Ever wonder why pedophiles are treated so brutally in prison? It gives murderers and thugs a rare excuse to feel morally superior. "Yeah, I strangled that little girl to death, but at least I didn't look at pictures of her!" As if the act of finding and brutalizing someone who did something worse in some way removes their own misdeeds -- instead of merely adding to them, as is actually the case. In no way am I trying to stick up for pedophiles, by the way -- I'm just disagreeing that committing evil acts upon them somehow makes a person virtuous.
Exactly.
And when you consider these are acts and justifications of people who are not criminals, and indeed are supposed to be "responsible" for the proper punishment and theoretical rehabilitation of actual criminals, how much worse does it make it?And thus:
The problem is that people don't trust the system to reliably deliver these assurances. Instead we get talk about how a perpetrator will be victimized in turn, suffering "street justice" or other indignities. Such ideas forget that criminals are human beings with feelings and regrets, capable of understanding and change like anyone else. Only a small minority are true sociopaths, incapable of real empathy.
If you want a true sociopath then I say look at people who, as I said, find it horrific to accidentally execute someone but ignore the possibility of "accidentally" sending the same person to be sexually assaulted for 20 years. (And note: I am using "sexually assaulted" instead of the more blunt "raped" to reflect both the avoidance of those who refuse to recognize what it is and to include all the other variations that occur.)
What sort of mind can in any way construct such a concept and believe it is justice?And yet it is a spreading meme, embraced by many and sundry who wish to proclaim their moral superiority.
If people find criminal sentences insufficient then stand up and change them.
If vicious bloody vengeance is what it is desired have the moral integrity to say so.
If people really hate the concept of innocent until proven guilty, or the array of "technicalities" that protect rights to privacy, representation, due process, not to self-incriminate, and more, then stand up and say so.
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Ok I just have to say before all this happened, I would like to think I was pretty rational and level headed I hardly ever lost my cool, even those I had directly opposing moral and ethical views I would try and see redeeming qualities in. But the guys that did this well I have no pity for what happens to them what so ever. They made their choice, and hurt someone I love. Frankly I hope to inflict as much punishment on them as I possibly can, hence why I have paid as much money I can possibly get into the best credentialled lawyer I can afford. And hence why I have gone out of my way to ensure that they have been expelled. And how I am trying to get their faces plastered all over the media. And how that I hope to put them behind bars for as long as possible and give them a criminal record so that there secondaryu training will mean nothing and most career paths and travel plans are closed to them for the rest of their lives.
The worst part is my mind has wandered into a lot darker territory than I have evr gone before. I even know where 2 of them live. But I also can't let this eat away my humanity I refuse to lower myself to their level. I will however ruin their lives in everyway possible through legal means. I hope this doesn't mean I'm a sociopath, rationally I know that everyone makes mistakes but when it comes to these individuals I just DON'T CARE.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Ok I just have to say before all this happened, I would like to think I was pretty rational and level headed I hardly ever lost my cool, even those I had directly opposing moral and ethical views I would try and see redeeming qualities in. But the guys that did this well I have no pity for what happens to them what so ever. They made their choice, and hurt someone I love. Frankly I hope to inflict as much punishment on them as I possibly can, hence why I have paid as much money I can possibly get into the best credentialled lawyer I can afford. And hence why I have gone out of my way to ensure that they have been expelled. And how I am trying to get their faces plastered all over the media. And how that I hope to put them behind bars for as long as possible and give them a criminal record so that there secondaryu training will mean nothing and most career paths and travel plans are closed to them for the rest of their lives.
The worst part is my mind has wandered into a lot darker territory than I have evr gone before. I even know where 2 of them live. But I also can't let this eat away my humanity I refuse to lower myself to their level. I will however ruin their lives in everyway possible through legal means. I hope this doesn't mean I'm a sociopath, rationally I know that everyone makes mistakes but when it comes to these individuals I just DON'T CARE.
I understand Jeremy. I've lost family to violence. As I said before, when the anger starts to eat away at you, talk to someone. Grief counselling has done wonders for me.
Hate isn’t rational.
I just think it bares repeating.
Please elaborate. I am very curious to understand how hate can be rational.
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Please elaborate. I am very curious to understand how hate can be rational.
Hate can focus. Instead of using your hate to pummel the object of your hate into oblivion, visualize the object of your hate, and channel that energy into a 210-pound barbell, or a paintbrush, or a guitar. Things will get done, the energy will burn off, and you can do it over and over and over again. It's one of the ways that I get through life.
Yeah, I think I know you
You spent a lot of time full of hate
A hate that was pure sunshine
A hate that saw for miles
A hate that kept you up at night
A hate that filled your every waking moment
A hate that carried you for a long time
- Rollins
I agree, however, I do not think that makes hate rational. Useful, perhaps, but not rational.
No, that doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. There is a reason they don't put the family of the victim on juries...
In any case, I hope you guys get justice; that was a truly senseless, cruel, and cowardly act.
In any case, I hope you guys get justice; that was a truly senseless, cruel, and cowardly act.
I think that is a very good point. Senseless and cruel go without saying. I imagine these individuals thought themselves 'men' while this very act identified them as anything but.
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Derek: ** spoiler omitted **
Kirth, you're about 99% right in this case. If you're talking about state prison. The Fed B.O.P., however, houses child pornographers and pedophiles with non-violent drug and white collar offenders. Offenders who get MUCH more time for arguably MUCH less heinous crimes. Some pot dealer who only sold weed to his age of consent buddies and got 60 months when he was caught feels cheated by the system when some sick f+*~ who raped a six year old girl and distributed the photos on the web gets half his sentence. (And this isn't "anecdotal evidence", this is eye witness testimony). When people are in prison because they evaded taxes, moved some dope, maybe did a bit of insider trading or embezzled, they do tend to feel superior to a real dirtbag. Couple that with not a few of the inmates having young sons and daughters, and you get what you get.
There are "Crimes against the State" and "Crimes against Humanity". I hope some people know the difference.
The Feds have recently designated some prisons as "pedo-safe", and are starting to house them all in one place, away from everyone else, precisely because they know they cannot guarantee their safety otherwise.
To Kirth:
To Jeremy:
And how that I hope to put them behind bars for as long as possible and give them a criminal record so that their secondary training will mean nothing and most career paths and travel plans are closed to them for the rest of their lives. I hope this doesn't mean I'm a sociopath, rationally I know that everyone makes mistakes but when it comes to these individuals I just DON'T CARE.
I suspect that this is one of the toughest things you'll face. Certainly, I have absolutely no idea how well I'd hold up in your place -- poorly, I suspect, and I can only echo Tarren Dei when it comes to the usefulness of help. Derek's suggestion of channeling your frustration into the creation of a watch also sounds like an exceptionally positive one -- everyone benefits.
On the one hand, intellectually I know that hard prison time closes off most of these pathetic thugs' legitimate avenues and trains them in criminal ones, so in the end you've potentially taken ignorant, subhuman idiots (which they undeniably are) and turned them into something much, much worse, to be released on the rest of the community, to maybe do that much more harm. Not with any certainty, of course, but there you have it.
On the flip side, I read the Niebelungenlied and exulted and cheered at the end.
So, I guess the real question is, can you master your own emotions (unlike the worthless cowards you're prosecuting)? I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong at all -- that's your call to make; I only suggest that you want to be sure that you're doing it from a position of clear understanding and full self-control.
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Jeremy Mcgillan it would have been one thing if these guys even drunk had walked up and had heated words as to why they disagreed. They did not. They do not even deserve pitty from people who may agree with them. Alcohol is never an excuse. If I had a way to help financially with the lawyers I would. What I can and will and have been doing is to keep you and Alex in my prayers and hope you both recover soon, physically and emotionally.
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Please elaborate. I am very curious to understand how hate can be rational.
You tolerate people who have a different sexual preference, or even reasonably different political views, or who think puppies are smelly and annoying.
You hate pedophiles, or genocidal dictators and the political theories they devise to support themselves, or who toss a sack of unwanted puppies in the river.
Real hate, burning, destroying, raging hate, can be quite rational.
In many it not only does not make you a bad person, it proves you are a sane, rational human being.
I disagree. Hate is natural. It is what makes us human. But I still do not think that hate is rational.
This, in no way, is meant as any kind of judgment on Jeremy Mcgillan. I think too often we view emotions as wrong. The emotion is neither good nor bad. What we do with those emotions defines our character.
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Good luck with the litigation, Jeremy. I'm rooting for you to put those #$&^%-ers away. Best wishes for Alex's recovery.
Hear hear! Jeremy, if someone hurt any of my loved ones, I'd probably do far worse than try to get them as long sentences as possible... and I don't consider myself a bad person either.
I hope those guys will get long sentences and hefty fines! And, of course, all the best for you and Alex! :)
Jeremy,
You have every right to be angry. It's a completely, natural reaction. Don't let anyone tell you differently. In fact, you should be proud of yourself, and of Alex. These people tried to silence you with their hatred, but instead of letting yourself be consumed by your anger, you chose to seek legal counsel. Meanwhile, the fact that Alex is still directing the GBLT Counseling Centre, in spite of what happened, is courageous, and you should never, for a moment, forget how brave you two are for standing up in the face of bigotry.
Speaking of lawyers, here is a link to the Lambda Legal Help Desk. This is a website dedicated to helping members of the LGBT community seek legal advice. I would also recommend that you take a look at their Suggested Questions to Ask a Lawyer page. It might help you with your search for a lawyer.
If I find anything else, rest assured, I'll send it your way. In the meantime, keep punching back. People like you and Alex are the kinds of people that change history. :)
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I'm just curious if there has been an update to what has been going on? I want these bastards to get what they deserve in jail/prison.
Not much else has happened we had an hearing to set a court date and it's not til August. Until then I'll be in consultation with my lawyer discussing options.
Also thanks dovearrow for the info I'll use it as baest as I can.
I hope those ignorant f@%$^*& get what they deserve. Why are people so blind? Why does it matter if your homosexual, a different religion, or a different race? IMO, as a race, humanity just sucks.
Good luck with you case.
Reminds me of an old Bobcat Goldthwait routine about homophobes, where he thumps his mic between commentary:
I hate you *thump* because you're queer *thump* and gay *thump* and really cute *thump* and I'd like to have sex with you *thump* but I can't because I can't be gay *thump*
Not that everyone who does this is a closet homosexual...most of them are just ignorant douchebags who have no outlet for their own self-hatred (for whatever reason) than to project it onto other people so they have someone to punish. Then you have the rest who are just the types to look for easy excuses to hate people because they enjoy being violent. [/armchair psychologist]
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I think it's finally happened. I was out to the pub just me and the guys sitting down having a drink. Someone looked at me and called me a stupid "f&@!$~". I just snapped I was so angry I dragged the guy and beat the living f$*$ out of him. I have a bloody lip and a black eye but he was beaten senseless and I don't feel bad. Now I kinda feel guilty and satisfied at the same time. I've become so filled with rage toward what society is getting away with. I started a political group on facebook, put up fliers on campus. I've even started working volunteer with the local political party. Something in me has snapped so badly that I can't sit by and takew the smallest insult or slight toward gay people. I've completely changed and it's new scary, and satisfying. Is this a bad thing? I know on some level it's good but there has to be limits.
I think it's finally happened. I was out to the pub just me and the guys sitting down having a drink. Someone looked at me and called me a stupid "f#*got". I just snapped I was so angry I dragged the guy and beat the living f#*& out of him. I have a bloody lip and a black eye but he was beaten senseless and I don't feel bad. Now I kinda feel guilty and satisfied at the same time. I've become so filled with rage toward what society is getting away with.
...
I've completely changed and it's new scary, and satisfying. Is this a bad thing? I know on some level it's good but there has to be limits.
This is where I say that you need to find help. This is not healthy. The Facebook, fliers, etc are fine. But this kind of destructive behavior is not good for you or your friends.
You have just become what you hate. Think of everything that you feel toward the issue with your friend. This man can probably now do the same to you.
Seek help.
Jeremy, remember what I said before, about control? Sounds like you've lost it. You're totally over the line there. Of course it feels good to stand up for yourself, but the way you chose to do it in this case was totally and completely wrong.
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I've been in pretty much the exact place you are in right now. I think you might benefit from talking to somebody; I can't say for sure. I think it's a shaky idea over the internet to give counseling/medical advice, but maybe talking to somebody could help you(?)
Me,...I went out all over the place spoiling; then I bumped into a guy I knew 4 years earlier in high school who I didn't recognize. So he was messing with me, and I almost fought him. And he was much bigger than me....played high school football and was an alternate college football player but I didn't care--if he wanted to fight I was going to fight his ass and beat his fist down with my face if need be, but then he said, "Heath! Chill out it's me," and I said, "damn I'm glad it's you, cos you were going to kick my ass when I fought you."
I don't know who believes what about God or Jesus or whatever, but for me sometimes I think God sends me little clues in life that I'm on the wrong path, and I think he sent me this football player guy that night to help me figure stuff out; maybe I'm superstitious. I don't mean to start blabbing about God, it's just a revelation of how my mind works...
I found that anger can take you over and rule you if you let it, and it will do so, and you'll end up two years later wondering what the hell it was all for essentially.
I think the main thing for me anyway is I blamed my own weakness for something essentially a bad person did, and I was going to show everybody and anybody that I will fight you, and I will f@$& you up bad, because nobody's gonna f+~$ with me or mine again.
And I wasted two years of my life essentially being pissed off and alienating everybody around me.
I also wasn't even wondering if I was bad; I was under the false impression that I had just awoke from a profound naivete and all that mattered was strong and weak, and good and evil were just man's artificial constructs.
Ultimately, destruction is easy. Hurting and beating and breaking is easy. Entropy needs not your help.
The truly heroic ideal is to try and fix things, or people, that are broken. To create, and protect, and dream little dreams, these are the difficult things to aspire to. Anger isn't a lot of help with these things. That's my take.
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.
Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.
I support your pursuit of justice insofar as those who committed a crime against your friend should be punished. Moreover, since they are clearly dangerous, they should be incarcerated.
I can't support an act of aggression against someone for holding a belief however onerous. Though your actions are highly understandable, you should be wary that you do not turn into the same kind of person who hurt you and yours, just for different reasons.
Take care.
There's an episode of The West Wing, called "The Midterms." The episode takes place right after a group, called West Virginia White Pride, tries to shoot Charlie Young for dating Zoey Bartlet. At one point, Toby asks the president, "Why does it feel like this? I've seen shootings before."
The president tells him, "It wasn't a shooting, Toby. It was a lynching. They tried to lynch Charlie."
These guys didn't just beat Alex. They tried to lynch him. That's why you feel like this. I don't know what you should do with these feelings, because I've never been through what you're going through. However, I think you should try to find people who have been through what you're going through, and find out how they deal with the pain and the anger you're feeling right now.
You shouldn't go through this alone. Don't feel like you have to go through this alone. There are people out there who are sympathetic and willing to help you deal with this. Please, please, please try to find them. Take care.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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I think it's finally happened. I was out to the pub just me and the guys sitting down having a drink. Someone looked at me and called me a stupid "f&@got". I just snapped I was so angry I dragged the guy and beat the living f*~% out of him. I have a bloody lip and a black eye but he was beaten senseless and I don't feel bad. Now I kinda feel guilty and satisfied at the same time. I've become so filled with rage toward what society is getting away with. I started a political group on facebook, put up fliers on campus. I've even started working volunteer with the local political party. Something in me has snapped so badly that I can't sit by and takew the smallest insult or slight toward gay people. I've completely changed and it's new scary, and satisfying. Is this a bad thing? I know on some level it's good but there has to be limits.
As I said last month Jeremy:
A word of advice from someone who has stewed in anger over a similar event: Keep an eye on yourself (or have a friend do it for you). If you start to go off the deep end (e.g. self-destructive behaviour, heavy-drinking, picking fights, etc.), then get professional help.
I've been there. It takes a lot of work to make sure your better half wins. Get to work.
There are two problems with hate.
1) it prevents the hater from treating others as human beings
2) it steals peace and happiness from the hater
Hate leads to violence and injury (physical or emotional). But hate is not destroyed by opposing it with hate. Gang wars in L.A., violence in Northern Ireland, attacks in the Middle East--these all continue because of hate. "I want revenge" only causes someone else to eventually feel the same way, and the hatred/violence continue.
How do you stop hate? With forgiveness. Forgiveness needn't condone hatred. Forgiveness needn't set aside the wheels of justice that protect the vulnerable. But only forgiveness can break the self-perpetuating cycle of hate.
Forgiveness isn't easy. Over a decade ago, I was betrayed by a person I trusted. That betrayal was one of the most painful events I've ever endured. For five years I felt anger towards that person. I knew that I should forgive that person in my heart and move on, but I just couldn't let it go. I prayed for help every day over those years, and eventually I stopped feeling resentment.
That person couldn't care less about my pain or anger or forgiveness. But it was important for *me* to forgive and get on with my life.
I think it's finally happened. I was out to the pub just me and the guys sitting down having a drink. Someone looked at me and called me a stupid "f@*got". I just snapped I was so angry I dragged the guy and beat the living f#@* out of him. I have a bloody lip and a black eye but he was beaten senseless and I don't feel bad. Now I kinda feel guilty and satisfied at the same time.
Get help. Righteous anger is fine. Organizing, the Facebook stuff, that's all healthy and good. But do you want to turn into a reverse-polarity version of the guys who started all of this to begin with?
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.
I wish you and your guy the best Jeremy, personaly I can't say I would be any less angry in the same situation. Hell if anybody ever hurt my wife or kids I can promise you I would end them. I am not the guy you want to have anything in common with though, so if I say I would do it it's probably a bad idea. ;p
Good luck to you in the very dark times you find yourself in, be their for Alex and let him be there for you. Don't know where you stand on this but, God bless you both.
Something in me has snapped so badly that I can't sit by and take the smallest insult or slight toward gay people. I've completely changed and it's new scary, and satisfying. Is this a bad thing? I know on some level it's good but there has to be limits.
This is a bad thing. There's a difference between standing up for what is right and looking for trouble. You're standing on the wrong side of it.
There are many names for the sort of people who run their mouths at strangers in a bar. They're called dumbasses, d%+$%!$s, fools... Their behavior is hard to tolerate, but responding violently is just joining their ranks.
When you encounter such fools, remember that they are the ones who will suffer most from their stupidity. Over a lifetime, the habit of being a mouthy d~&*!@+ will "burn" them over and over. You don't have to be the agent of their fate: Justice will find them without any effort from you.
Stupidity and willful ignorance are errors upon which the world has little mercy. You may never see what happens, but it's as inevitable as the tides: If they don't learn wisdom, their sins will come back to haunt them.
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Jeremy, you have lived through one of my greatest fears. I don't know what I would do if something like this were to happen to my partner.
By refusing to let it keep you down or keep you quiet, you have shown a lot of courage, but it can also take a lot of courage to admit to someone when you need help. Don't wait, and don't try to bear it alone. You should talk to a professional about the way you are feeling.
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I think it's finally happened. I was out to the pub just me and the guys sitting down having a drink. Someone looked at me and called me a stupid "f!~got". I just snapped I was so angry I dragged the guy and beat the living f!&& out of him. I have a bloody lip and a black eye but he was beaten senseless and I don't feel bad. Now I kinda feel guilty and satisfied at the same time. I've become so filled with rage toward what society is getting away with. I started a political group on facebook, put up fliers on campus. I've even started working volunteer with the local political party. Something in me has snapped so badly that I can't sit by and takew the smallest insult or slight toward gay people. I've completely changed and it's new scary, and satisfying. Is this a bad thing? I know on some level it's good but there has to be limits.
Right on, man. Nobody's going to agree with me on this one, but I wish more people would do what you're doing.
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.
It's not wrong, it's normal. If you take s@$! from people for long enough, they will be paid back in kind.
I run into a dozen people a day who "deserve" instant termination, by any reasonable standard.
Alas, prison is a deterrent. As it should be.
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.
Jeremy, remember something: dude got his ass kicked by a "f~@+&*". You seriously wounded his ego, and you made sure he'll think twice about f&+%ing with someone because they don't fit into his world view. Dude deserved it.
That you feel bad about it on a level is what makes you a better person. Just remember that sometimes you have to handle a situation like that. Always turning the other cheek and being the "better" man just encourages a$%$~@@s.
I'm proud of you, my friend. :)
Have you looked into organizing a watch group yet? I can tell you from experience here in Houston that it did wonders for lessening the "gay bashing" here, and also had an impact on rapes and robberies int he neighborhood aqs well.
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.It's not wrong, it's normal. If you take s@%# from people for long enough, they will be paid back in kind.
It only works for a while. Then you and everybody you know and/or used to typically fight with for whatever b+!!%%!* reason has a felony assault rap, and you're all just sitting around your own living rooms, getting drunk, afraid to go out anymore because you have a rep that young guys would like to score by taking your hard ass down, and if you get another bing you're actually going to do time next time.
I don't know if I can just tell you this, or you have to learn it all the hard way. I'm even used to the fact that they all have to learn it the hard way coming up.
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I run into a dozen people a day who "deserve" instant termination, by any reasonable standard.
Alas, prison is a deterrent. As it should be.
Not really. Going to prison makes about half of the people who went straighten out, but even having gone through it hardly deters people from not breaking the law.
The people who are "deterred" by prison wouldn't break the law in normal circumstances anyway.
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Part of me kinda knows that it was wrong but most of my mind is just happy some bastard got a lesson shown to him. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I only really use my facebook now a days. Same name on facebook I'm the only one of that name on the St. John's Newfoundland network. I even kinda understand I was doing thing that hurt Alex but when your in the moment you just don't see it that way.It's not wrong, it's normal. If you take s@%# from people for long enough, they will be paid back in kind.It only works for a while. Then you and everybody you know and/or used to typically fight with for whatever b*@&~%!# reason has a felony assault rap, and you're all just sitting around your own living rooms, getting drunk, afraid to go out anymore because you have a rep that young guys would like to score by taking your hard ass down, and if you get another bing you're actually going to do time next time.
I don't know if I can just tell you this, or you have to learn it all the hard way. I'm even used to the fact that they all have to learn it the hard way coming up.
Heathy, it needs to be applied judiciously, but like I said above, always turning the other cheek just encourages escalation from the offending party, and often times that escalation ends badly...
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The most I've been able to organize is a 'Safe spaces' program on the university. It's been kinda frustrating finding support here. But it's something I guess.
"A journey of one thousand miles starts with a single step".
From debating with you on political issues, I know you're tenacious. Keep at it, it may take time, but you'll achieve whatever goals you've set forward to make your town safer for people to be who they are.
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Heathy, it needs to be applied judiciously, but like I said above, always turning the other cheek just encourages escalation from the offending party, and often times that escalation ends badly...
I don't think I said always turn the other cheek, and I know I don't look like Jesus.
I guess what I'm saying is this: if you go to the beach looking for sharks, you'll find sharks. Good luck to you.There's a subtle difference between sticking up for yourself and looking for s~!!. Always keep in mind how it's all going to look to the investigating officer, and know that he just might look at you, and look at the other guy, and he just might not like you and decide it's all your fault.
He doesn't care about all this turn the other cheek stuff.
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And this is the odd thing. I don't do violence I mean I've never gotten physical with someone. I've never kicked the crap out of someone before (except my brother growing up but he was older than me and deserved all of it :P). I'm not that kinda person but normal s!+~ that used to just slightly piss me off, now really pisses me off, and I really feel if something isn't done by me, then nothing is going to be done. I know I sound crazy when I say that but.... I don't know I'm rambling, I jut don't physically fight with people it's not my thing but something weird happened this one time.
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And this is the odd thing. I don't do violence I mean I've never gotten physical with someone. I've never kicked the crap out of someone before (except my brother growing up but he was older than me and deserved all of it :P). I'm not that kinda person but normal s~*# that used to just slightly piss me off, now really pisses me off, and I really feel if something isn't done by me, then nothing is going to be done. I know I sound crazy when I say that but.... I don't know I'm rambling, I jut don't physically fight with people it's not my thing but something weird happened this one time.
You reached your limit after bearing too much pain from personal experience with irrational hate. When he used that slur, he embodied the attitude that lead to someone you love getting very hurt for no reason other than hate.
You drew your line. He crossed it. You'll be ok, you know what you did and why, and I think you know it was an aberration that won't likely happen again. I wasn't there, so I don't know exactly what led up to the physical fight, but just keep in mind, the situation would have happened if the other guy wasn't a bigoted jackass.
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Heathy, it needs to be applied judiciously, but like I said above, always turning the other cheek just encourages escalation from the offending party, and often times that escalation ends badly...
I don't think I said always turn the other cheek, and I know I don't look like Jesus.
I guess what I'm saying is this: if you go to the beach looking for sharks, you'll find sharks. Good luck to you.
There's a subtle difference between sticking up for yourself and looking for s#@&. Always keep in mind how it's all going to look to the investigating officer, and know that he just might look at you, and look at the other guy, and he just might not like you and decide it's all your fault.
He doesn't care about all this turn the other cheek stuff.
Ok. I misunderstood. :)