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Nice guys end up being married to bossy women, at best, and domineering psychos, at worst.
This is my experience, anyway. I have always been a "nice guy."
I ended up marrying a bossy, but otherwise sane and loveable woman.
I did, however, waste three precious years of my college days with a domineering psycho who had me convinced that I was the only one who understood her and her mood swings, embarassing public meltdowns, etc. and that she would be miserable without me, blah blah blah.
And like a sap with a misplaced sense of chivalry, I tried...FAR TOO LONG...to make that relationship work.
Word of advice, if the damsel in distress is a psycho, leave her to the dragon.
Or in the case of the nice guy being the rescuer, they end up with the broken girls who need a lot of fixing, those that were abused at some point in their lives...
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About the CB/R case? Because violence against women by the men they're in relationship is a huge problem. (If I somehow missed your comment and am stating the obvious, sorry.)
It's alright. The thing that bugs me is that men are violent towards women daily, but the only time people seem to give a s##~ about anything is when the people involved are pathetic celebrities. Hence, my comment, in total, should be more like "Why does anyone care about Chris Brown when the guy down the street beats his wife and kids on a regular basis?"
About the CB/R case? Because violence against women by the men they're in relationship is a huge problem. (If I somehow missed your comment and am stating the obvious, sorry.)It's alright. The thing that bugs me is that men are violent towards women daily, but the only time people seem to give a s&&! about anything is when the people involved are pathetic celebrities. Hence, my comment, in total, should be more like "Why does anyone care about Chris Brown when the guy down the street beats his wife and kids on a regular basis?"
I think its mainly because we know who CB and R are, but we don't know the guy down the street. It gives us a common focus to discuss. It's like Michael Vick and his perverted dog fighting. Plenty of folks do it, but when an NFL star indulges in animal blood sports it raises the level of awareness.
Got ya, Shiny. What Patrick said: because the community college kids I teach care about celebs, I get to raise the issue--raising awareness and encouraging reflection.
That, and let's face it: as a straight dude, I'm prejudiced in favor of beautiful girls. Shoot me. Do I think they are important because they're celebs? Nope. But I can't help but enjoy them. If I know the gal down the street is being beat by my neighbor, of course I care (and care more). But in the weird world we live in, I know more about CB/R than I do the gal down the street.
The thing that bugs me is that men are violent towards women daily, but the only time people seem to give a s@*~ about anything is when the people involved are pathetic celebrities.
Oh I care. Where shall I place my impotent rage?
Hands the poodle a thimble.
Got anything bigger?
A teapot, perhaps?
Before I loan you a teapot...what are you going to add to the impotent rage? Cuz I might want to use that teapot again.
Or in the case of the nice guy being the rescuer, they end up with the broken girls who need a lot of fixing, those that were abused at some point in their lives...
Hear hear!
I've generally been the nice guy that the good girl turns to when she finally breaks up with her scumball (ex-)boyfriend. I get the girl to have some sense of self-worth, get her on her feet again and moving forward. Inevitably, the girl smiles, says 'You're such a nice guy' with an occasional 'I hope you've got someone nice in your life' or 'I hope you find someone nice'. She then merrily heads back out into the world. If I'm lucky, she finds a nice(-r) guy. Or she finds another sleazebag and the cycle begins anew.
I find it eternally aggravating that I, with my less than perfect ability to assess others, can spot a sleazebag a mile away, know he's trouble, but the good girl goes for him almost every time. More than that, it's sometimes mind-boggling. Cases like this one are just about normal for my life, except for the fact it's celebrities behaving badly instead of people I see everyday.
Before I loan you a teapot...what are you going to add to the impotent rage? Cuz I might want to use that teapot again.
Just a tempest.
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Wow.
I'm an incredibly nice guy.
I've been happily married to a very nice girl for fifteen going on sixteen years.
Being a nice guy has nothing to do with being unable to attract a member of the feminine persuasion. And nice girls don't date scum-bags. If a girl is truly nice, she looks for a nice guy.
Perhaps though, different individuals have different definitions of nice.
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Or in the case of the nice guy being the rescuer, they end up with the broken girls who need a lot of fixing, those that were abused at some point in their lives...
Hear hear!
I've generally been the nice guy that the good girl turns to when she finally breaks up with her scumball (ex-)boyfriend. I get the girl to have some sense of self-worth, get her on her feet again and moving forward. Inevitably, the girl smiles, says 'You're such a nice guy' with an occasional 'I hope you've got someone nice in your life' or 'I hope you find someone nice'. She then merrily heads back out into the world. If I'm lucky, she finds a nice(-r) guy. Or she finds another sleazebag and the cycle begins anew.
I find it eternally aggravating that I, with my less than perfect ability to assess others, can spot a sleazebag a mile away, know he's trouble, but the good girl goes for him almost every time. More than that, it's sometimes mind-boggling. Cases like this one are just about normal for my life, except for the fact it's celebrities behaving badly instead of people I see everyday.
A-frickin'-men, bro. I understand completely.
Bill Cosby, Ken Burns, and Wynton Marsalis will be paying you a visit soon. They will summon the spirit of Satchmo to teach you the true meaning of Jazz.
Or in the case of the nice guy being the rescuer, they end up with the broken girls who need a lot of fixing, those that were abused at some point in their lives...
Hear hear!
I've generally been the nice guy that the good girl turns to when she finally breaks up with her scumball (ex-)boyfriend. I get the girl to have some sense of self-worth, get her on her feet again and moving forward. Inevitably, the girl smiles, says 'You're such a nice guy' with an occasional 'I hope you've got someone nice in your life' or 'I hope you find someone nice'. She then merrily heads back out into the world. If I'm lucky, she finds a nice(-r) guy. Or she finds another sleazebag and the cycle begins anew.
I find it eternally aggravating that I, with my less than perfect ability to assess others, can spot a sleazebag a mile away, know he's trouble, but the good girl goes for him almost every time. More than that, it's sometimes mind-boggling. Cases like this one are just about normal for my life, except for the fact it's celebrities behaving badly instead of people I see everyday.
I think all those women think they can change the scumbag ;>, everybody needs a project ;>
"If you have to ask, man, you'll never know."
Louis Armstrong
It's like discounting all heavy metal because of Winger, Striper and Poison.
Nelson fan!
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Just to add my 2 cp, there are a lot of kids like CB growing up to think that beating your woman is the way a man acts. This is a result of what I call "ghetto rap" whic portrays all black men as thugs and all black women as objects to use and discard and treat what ever way you want. The dangerous thing about this is, as Juan Williams pointed out in his book Enough, this style of rap was aimed at rich white kids for the purpose of making them feel better about lording over the poor minority kids. The whole message of ghetto rap is that the Black community has no redeeming qualities and so you shouldn't feel guilty about feeling better then them. Then irony plays it's hand and kids in the Black community begin listening to this crap and became convinced that this is how they should live. This created a vicious cycle where the more kids lived this way, the more crap was put out, which meant more kids lived this way.
By the way, there is good rap out there.
More to the point, condemning genuinely thought-provoking and excellent material from the likes of DJ Shadow, Kid Koala, DJ Vadim, the Cut Chemist, Sarah Jones, Lupe Fiasco, and similar artists is just plain ignorance.
It's understandable to say something like "I don't like any of the rap I've ever heard," or "the hip-hop they play on my local Top 40 radio station makes me want to pull out my eyes and ears at the same time," but extrapolating this minimal experience with the subject matter to condemn an entire cultural movement is taking several steps too far.
Or, you know, what was said above about Winger and Stryper.
Don't forget KRS-one!!! and Saul Williams! Those voices of Hip-Hop are very powerful...
My main musical interest is punk, but the more political offerings, you can take Blink-182 and make sure they never make another album...PLEASE...
Anytime you get "Pop" into the mix, you're dealing with least common denominator...the record execs attempt to sell as many records as they can...so they want the "music" to be non-offensive, dribble, with a catchy hook, and inane words...so the simple with money don't get too confused...
Simply put, I like my music with some meat...
YMMV
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It It's like discounting all heavy metal because of Winger, Striper and Poison.
Actually, it's Stryper....and uh....ahem....I love Stryper's music.
But I wouldn't say that Stryper is a "model" that illustrates what Heavy Metal is; I just enjoy it. Course, same is true with Terry Brooks novels - I really liked them too at one time! :-)
Robert
Just to add my 2 cp...
Are we talking about rap or rock-n-roll?
I have not read Enough, but that sounds dangerously close to the same kind of arguments I heard against rock-n-roll in the 80's. And again about violent video games in the 90's. Somewhere in those two decades role playing games were the new evil too.
I completely agree that most of Rap fails to deliver a positive message. But an upbeat, positive, politically correct message is what Pop is all about.
Does Country music make rednecks cheat on their significant other?
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Guys, I just wanted to put this thread to bed - I found Rihanna vacuous in conversation and indifferent in bed. And all hip-hip is trash, irrespective. I wasn't sure if she was nice.
Glad I could clear that up.
(The author takes no legal responsibility for any potential inaccuracies in the above message.)
If you are sensing animosity, it is not from me. I was simply debating David’s point.
Animal intelligence protects me from your mental manipulation. :P
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Actually, I don't get hip-hop/rap or whatever the kids are digging at the moment - I find the lack of melody or harmony very difficult to listen to. But since I am a Steely Dan man to the day I die, I imagine modern R&B will probably pass me by totally and always will.
As for the nice girls/mad girls thing, girls like guys with a bit a bite, and some need so much bite that their preferred guys are borderline psychos. On the other hand, no one really knows what happened with CB and Rihanna except them, so I am very hesitant to attach blame to anyone. She might be nice, she might be pretty horid - the interview I saw of her painted her as a highly manipulated star who is wearily complicit in her fate. But then, I don't know her either.
As a nice guy, if you are comfortable in your skin then you can pretty much do OK - women like confidence. And as a nice guy you also need to get used to idea that you cannot save the mad ones.
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Just to add my 2 cp...Are we talking about rap or rock-n-roll?
Sorry, I thought that since we were talking about Chris Brown and Rihanna, that we were talking about rap. The stuff I have heard from Chris Brown sounds dangerously close to rap.
I have not read Enough, but that sounds dangerously close to the same kind of arguments I heard against rock-n-roll in the 80's. And again about violent video games in the 90's. Somewhere in those two decades role playing games were the new evil too.
You should read it. I did a poor job of explaining Mr. William's argument and it is only a small portion of his thesis. He basicly wrote the book as a defense of Bill Cosby's "poundcake speech."
I completely agree that most of Rap fails to deliver a positive message. But an upbeat, positive, politically correct message is what Pop is all about.
Sad but true. Pop is the intellectual equivalent of a rice cake.
Does Country music make rednecks cheat on their significant other?
Well, a lot of rednecks, and country singers that I know have cheated on their significant other, so there may be something to this.
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Ok from what I have been able to gather Rhianna initiated the "fight" with CB and then was hitting him and threw the keys to his car out the window.
Now this is all extrapolating, but because she started the fight and was hitting him as well, I bet she felt partially responsible, and that it wasn't entirely his fault nor him overreacting because "they" were hitting each other.
While I understand the mentality behind this, it is a bit depressing because there is a clear point at which you realize that the escalating violence isn't proportional, all in all, chris brown brought a damn tank to a knife fight.
Subsequently they've "worked it out" which I'm sure was the standard, "I'm sorry baby, it'll never happen again" along with her saying "well if I hadn't pushed him he wouldn't have reacted that way" and now the duet is actually in the studio recording a song get this, about the difficulties of being in love. As if they have any meaningful insight.
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On the other hand, no one really knows what happened with CB and Rihanna except them, so I am very hesitant to attach blame to anyone. She might be nice, she might be pretty horid -
Okay my problem with this is just that after a point it doesn't matter if she's a succubus, what chris brown did to her was inexcusable. this wasn't a single hit thrown out to counter her blows, he severely beat her, I don't know if you saw the leaked photos although they were hard to miss. but the beating he laid on her goes beyond anything she could have done to "deserve" it, and at that point the blame lies on him for being so out of control.
Chris Brown is not Rap or Hip-Hop. If you've listened any of his songs for more than half a minute you'd know that he pretty much fills the same niche for black and brown teenage and tweenage girls that I guess the jonas bros or N synch or who ever the white counterpart for teen and pre teen pop music would be.
Just because the artist is black and there the music itself sound purely beat driven and over produced does not make it hip-hop. Just because there are electric guitars and some white d00d screeching over a track does not automatically mean that it's rock or metal for f&*~'s sake.
Both Chris Brown and Rihanna are produce what is generally termed these days as R&B / Soul but in reality is for the most part pop music.
It is as much Hip-hop as Jethro Tull is METAL.
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Now obviously this is only one side of the story, but I thought it would be good to present some more precise 'facts' to the case than people may have seen on TV. Since the photographed injuries mostly match with the story given (I'm no expert) I think the police report is mostly truthful.
CB is 19 years old. In my opinion, he is a victim of a morally-vacant culture of thug stardom. Rihanna is probably a victim of low self-esteem seeking external validation. None of this excuses the incident, so CB should publicly apologise, pay damages and seek help in correcting his behavior. I doubt this will occur, because he doesn't seem to know the real meaning of being a man.
There is a slim chance that the couple being back together is a good thing; forgiveness is divine, as long as they both actually learned something and change behaviors in the future. I wouldn't bet on them having that level of maturity just yet, though.
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Chris Brown is not Rap or Hip-Hop. If you've listened any of his songs for more than half a minute you'd know that he pretty much fills the same niche for black and brown teenage and tweenage girls that I guess the jonas bros or N synch or who ever the white counterpart for teen and pre teen pop music would be.
Just because the artist is black and there the music itself sound purely beat driven and over produced does not make it hip-hop. Just because there are electric guitars and some white d00d screeching over a track does not automatically mean that it's rock or metal for f@!*'s sake.
Both Chris Brown and Rihanna are produce what is generally termed these days as R&B / Soul but in reality is for the most part pop music.
Sorry, but I have to disagree. The few Chris Brown songs that I have heard are very remeniscent of Biz Markie, who I am a great admirer of. I did not automatically decide that he was a rapper because he's black, as you implied, but because his lyrical style is very similar to some of the great rap artists of the past. I don't know why you would automatically assume that I automatically assumed he was a rapper because he was Black. That seems like a very biased attitude against white people if you ask me.
Edit: Just for the record, Chris Brown describes himself as a rapper and hip hop artist. That's good enough for me.
Chris Brown is not Rap or Hip-Hop. If you've listened any of his songs for more than half a minute you'd know that he pretty much fills the same niche for black and brown teenage and tweenage girls that I guess the jonas bros or N synch or who ever the white counterpart for teen and pre teen pop music would be.
Just because the artist is black and there the music itself sound purely beat driven and over produced does not make it hip-hop. Just because there are electric guitars and some white d00d screeching over a track does not automatically mean that it's rock or metal for f@!*'s sake.
Both Chris Brown and Rihanna are produce what is generally termed these days as R&B / Soul but in reality is for the most part pop music.
Sorry, but I have to disagree. The few Chris Brown songs that I have heard are very remeniscent of Biz Markie, who I am a great admirer of. I did not automatically decide that he was a rapper because he's black, as you implied, but because his lyrical style is very similar to some of the great rap artists of the past. I don't know why you would automatically assume that I automatically assumed he was a rapper because he was Black. That seems like a very biased attitude against white people if you ask me.
Edit: Just for the record, Chris Brown describes himself as a rapper and hip hop artist. That's good enough for me.
Really? 'cause I all I hear from him are ballads and R&R tracks. "run it" is not a hip-hop track and d00d sounds nothing like Biz Markie at least not to me. "Kiss-Kiss" sounds NOTHING like a hip-hop track and neither does "With You".
Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
and as to this:
I don't know why you would automatically assume that I automatically assumed he was a rapper because he was Black. That seems like a very biased attitude against white people if you ask me.
It may be a biased attitude but it's not entirely unwarranted especially on a message board devoted to RPGs which is mostly populated by white guys. Sorry most of the boards like this that I've been on (Rpg.net, Enworld, Hero Games, etc..) have had hostile (that's putting it mildly) perception of people of color and hip-hop in general.
For the record I'm taking about This Kid.
It is as much Hip-hop as Jethro Tull is METAL.Well, you know, they did beat Metallica to that Grammy...
LOL, My point exactly!
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Really? 'cause I all I hear from him are ballads and R&R tracks. "run it" is not a hip-hop track and d00d sounds nothing like Biz Markie at least not to me. "Kiss-Kiss" sounds NOTHING like a hip-hop track and neither does "With You".
Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
Actually, you are right. I had Chris Brown confused with Sean Kingston. Now I must confess that I have never heard any of Chris Brown's work. This is very embarrasing. I could have sworn that the satellite radio guide said it was Chris Brown performing Beautiful Girl. However, he was called a rapper on Rap Basement and on Access Hollywood.
Ok from what I have been able to gather Rhianna initiated the "fight" with CB and then was hitting him and threw the keys to his car out the window.
Do you have a link?
Did she initialize it verbally or did she throw the first punch? Even if she did hit him, did it warrant the apparent beating she took?
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Ok from what I have been able to gather Rhianna initiated the "fight" with CB and then was hitting him and threw the keys to his car out the window.Do you have a link?
Did she initialize it verbally or did she throw the first punch? Even if she did hit him, did it warrant the apparent beating she took?
Really courtfool you're asking me for a link... No i do not have a link, I don't care enough to look for something I barely cared enough to comment on because it's of passing interest.
From what I've heard she initialized verbally but escalated to hitting, and no, nothing she did could possibly warrant the beating she took. If you notice Chris Brown had no marks or bruises, so even if she was hitting him she wasn't hitting him with the level of force with which he responded, hence the tank to a knife fight comment.
I apologize for troubling. I just thought you had more information than I had. From what I have read, she may have said something that set him off. However, I did not see anything that suggested she threw the first punch. Also, I believe she grabbed the keys and tried to toss them out after he began beating her.
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I LINKED! I'm a helper! I'm a person who helps!
disclaimer: Again, this is the story from one perspective and may not be wholly accurate.
Actually, you are right. I had Chris Brown confused with Sean Kingston. Now I must confess that I have never heard any of Chris Brown's work. This is very embarrasing. I could have sworn that the satellite radio guide said it was Chris Brown performing Beautiful Girl. However, he was called a rapper on Rap Basement and on Access Hollywood.Really? 'cause I all I hear from him are ballads and R&R tracks. "run it" is not a hip-hop track and d00d sounds nothing like Biz Markie at least not to me. "Kiss-Kiss" sounds NOTHING like a hip-hop track and neither does "With You".
Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
*enter requisite all us brown folk look alike joke here*
That was a joke by the way...
Anyway, no harm no foul. However I'd still like to find out what the d00ds at the Rap Basement are smoking. Unless they've broadened the definition of rapper / Mc to include teeny-bopper / R&B crooner they I think that they are horribly off the mark with that. Just because you may be able to drop a verse or two in your own song does NOT make you an MC or a rapper. Also most of his songs are just that, SONGS.
Also I'm in agreement that there is no way that Rihanna deserved the beating that she got at his hands. But she does deserve the next beating that she catches at his hands because she went back to him. If he did it once (and there is a hint that he's hit her before. She suffered a ripped cornea about a year ago that there was no explanation for.)he'll hit her again. Let's hope the next time she doesn't end up in a box and she has the good sense to press charges and leave. Maybe if he gets locked up he'll be on the business end of a beatdown or worse.
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I think we have our generations whitney and bobby.
As an aside courtfool I wasn't bothered, more questioning why you would bother asking someone like me for a link, lets face it, when have I ever been forthcoming on the linkification.
besides most of what I've heard of it was from radio news programs from NPR and AM580 WDBO which is a conservative news/talk station. ( i like listening to both sides) I don't know how to link to radio programs :P