PARANOIA!!!

[Benedict-R-NLD]

Woah! Woah!

<Benedict would hold up his hands, if they weren't full of boxes of worthless junk.>

I'm just trying to be a loyal com-, er, mutant. I don't want to take pills above my clearance, that's all. Tell you what, I'll take mine when Johnny takes his Teel-O anaerobic stimulant pills. They are sure to make him more virile and his shoes shiny!

<Benedict keeps sweating. His red jumpsuit is soaked around the neck and armpits, even after the thorough cleansing Johnny gave him.>

[Yossa-R-IAN]

*Takes pill. Grins even more and somehow seems even more 'self-assured'*

"Hey, those Teela-o pills better be at our clearance, or you'll me shot like the mutant you are! The question is, why are we still here when we got a mission briefing to go to?! Come on, lets get going, people!"

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rosas

Spoiler:

Yossa gave orders to head for the debriefing meeting. As for the store room. The best thing you see is a box of handgun ammunition. However there is no gun. It is an orange box.

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas looks around the room ignoring the interaction between the mutie and the food smuggler...

** spoiler omitted **

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

For everyone who took a pill

Spoiler:

give yourself 1 perversity point

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Yossa

Spoiler:

After taking the pill you feel a surge of energy hit you like a bus. You feel as though you could do a set of one handed chin ups- no problem. You also feel like you've got a some extra energy to burn, and a little extra aggression to work out. You feel good though, real good.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Johnny

Spoiler:

After taking the pill you feel a surge of energy hit you like a bus. You feel as though you could do a set of one handed chin ups- no problem. You also feel like you've got a some extra energy to burn, and a little extra aggression to work out. You feel good though, real good.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rolf

Spoiler:

the "pebbles" mixed in with the soap suds look kind of like. Well you aren't really sure.

peanuts

Rolf-R-WTF-1 wrote:

"are you refusing to take assigned medication mutie? are you trying to be subversive? are you a traitor?

GM
** spoiler omitted **

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Benedict

Spoiler:

The peanut tastes soapy. Really soapy.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Is Benedict taking his pill?

Benedict-R-NLD wrote:

Woah! Woah!

<Benedict would hold up his hands, if they weren't full of boxes of worthless junk.>

I'm just trying to be a loyal com-, er, mutant. I don't want to take pills above my clearance, that's all. Tell you what, I'll take mine when Johnny takes his Teel-O anaerobic stimulant pills. They are sure to make him more virile and his shoes shiny!

<Benedict keeps sweating. His red jumpsuit is soaked around the neck and armpits, even after the thorough cleansing Johnny gave him.>

[Benedict-R-NLD]

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Is Benedict taking his pill?

<Benedict isn't a commie traitor. If the Happiness Officer says, "Take a pill," Benedict takes the pill. He's eying Rolf's equipment for summary inspection, though.>

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

Spoiler:

anyway I can make the box explode and burn down the place discreetly after I leave?

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Benedict

Spoiler:

After taking the pill you feel a surge of energy hit you like a bus. You feel as though you could do a set of one handed chin ups- no problem. You also feel like you've got a some extra energy to burn, and a little extra aggression to work out. You feel good though, real good.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rosas

Spoiler:

It's possible. How do you want to do it?

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

[Yossa-R-IAN]

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

*Answers PDC* "Oh, that's good to know, since I'm still standing right next to you, waiting for you all to finally be ready to leave for the mission breifing! Move!"

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Rosas

** spoiler omitted **

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:

Well I have assess flammability 11 and demolitions 12...I think Rosas can figure out a way. slow burn...big burn...so it catches fire after I depart...like 10 minutes afterwards...I'll move it to somewhere where it will catch other stuff on fire.

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

into the PDC "YESSIR!" runs around like a keystone cop

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Actually Rosas was still poking around in the store room, while everyone else was busy yapping and pill popping, which was mostly taking place just behind the desk or in the main area.

[Yossa-R-IAN]

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

into the PDC "YESSIR!" runs around like a keystone cop

"I meant move to the mission breifing! Everyone, just follow me, alright?"

*Once again heads out to try to get to the breifing on time*

[Yossa-R-IAN]

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Actually Rosas was still poking around in the store room, while everyone else was busy yapping and pill popping, which was mostly taking place just behind the desk or in the main area.

Oh, I hate it when facts get in the way of a good joke.

[Benedict-R-NLD]

Yossa-R-IAN wrote:

"I meant move to the mission breifing! Everyone, just follow me, alright?"

*Once again heads out to try to get to the breifing on time*

<Benedict falls into line behind Yossa, ready and able, yessir, ready AND able to follow orders and head to this mission briefing that Yossa keeps yammering about even though he is really a wonderful team leader and does all the right things when he's supposed to do them and never lets himself get distracted by his less dedicated and almost certainly treasonous and communistic and absolutely mutated (I mean, there's not much doubt about that, now, is there, after all, the collar's right here, you see) team members who really, it should be pointed out, are just trying to do the best they can to follow orders and serve the Computer in the best possible way according to each individual's special capacity, which is hard to do when one is being constantly suds'ed down with hose-y weapons and accused of treason and distracted by Rosas's really, really red hair, and when one keeps wondering what Yossa's got under his trenchcoat and then eating really soap-y tasting illegal natural foodstuffs that tasted mostly like The Computer's Official Industrial Cleansing Product Brand Product mixed with dirt, not that I know what either of those things actually tastes like, that's almost certainly treason, but from what I've been told that's pretty much what I imagined and why is Johnny pointing that thing at me, maybe I should keep quiet for the rest of the trip to the mission briefing; jeez, Johnny sure is cool. Ok, quiet, starting now ... Thanks for the pill, Rolf ... OK, now.>

O&BGM

Spoiler:

Now that I'm standing behind Yossa again, I'm gonna try again to see what's in his pockets. 1d20=1

<Benedict now starts to wonder if all that previous stuff was internal or external monologue.>

Hey, Yossa, how's that smoke detector working? Detect anything yet? No, Benedict, quiet! Remember? Shut up! No, you shut up! Who said that? Oh, I give up! Grrr. Ack.

[Rolf-R-WTF-1]

GM

Spoiler:

happy with myself that everyone took the pills that I have absolutely no idea what they do, I dilligently follow the group trying to tell if the ones that have eaten the pills are acting any different or are keeling over dieing, or somthing

[Dexter-R-CEN]

Yossa-R-IAN wrote:

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

into the PDC "YESSIR!" runs around like a keystone cop

"I meant move to the mission breifing! Everyone, just follow me, alright?"

*Once again heads out to try to get to the breifing on time*

Dexter follows along loyal as ever, grinning from ear to ear.

[Johnny-R-OTN]

<Johnny swaggers up to Benedict and jabs him with the skin core - unless he dodges or something like that.>

"You're looking a little dirty there retina burn."

<Cracks his knuckles and looks at the results.>

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Benedict

Spoiler:

You reach into one of Yossa's pockets and come out with his PDC. Just as you finish filching it you are struck from behind as Johnny gives you a good jab with the skin core sampler. It jams in pretty far, causing you to howl in pain and surprise and then stumble forward into Yossa. You almost drop his PDC, but manage to hang on to it.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

The team starts moving out with Yossa in the lead. Suddenly, Benedict howls in pain as Johnny jams the skin core sampler into him. Benedict stumbles forward crashing into Yossa, who he was following close behind. Yossa in turn stumbles forward and almost falls. However, he recovers his balance with an amazing flourish and spin. He's soooo awesomely cool and dexterous.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rosas

Spoiler:

your plan is all good, but how are you going to ignite the box in the first place?

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Rosas

** spoiler omitted **

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Rosas

** spoiler omitted **

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Rosas

** spoiler omitted **

Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1 wrote:

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:

lighter? but I have to be sure I'm unobserved...

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rosas

Spoiler:

Okay you can light it up with the lighter

[Johnny-R-OTN]

<Slips the sample vial into his breast pocket.>

To Benedict: "Hygiene officer. Gotta keep records, you know?"

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Several minutes later the team locates the the debriefing room.

As you enter the debriefing room, you
hardly notice the usual scorch marks and
laser burns. The room itself is typically
dark, and a strange odor hangs in the
air. Rows of molded plastic seats, some
partially melted, line the rear wall of the
room. The far end is dominated by an
imposing platform supporting a long
table. Both are protected by a well-tested
blast screen. You can’t help noticing the
stained gutter around the walls.

Behind the blast screen you see a man in an indigo coloured suite sitting at a table punching away on the touch screen of his PDC. Two green Int Sec goons flank the table watching your team as you enter the room. All of them are safe behind the blast screen.

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

"Oh my yessss"

"Good news everyone we found the briefing room"

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

I hope I'm not moving forward too fast. With this pbp it's hard to tell when you guys are ready to move ahead and when you need some more time to f!#& with each other. In the future, try to let me know when you're ready to go forward with a little ooc post, something like "ready for next scene" would work fine.

[Yossa-R-IAN]

"We can see that, Rosas."

*Stands at attention*

"Troubleshooter team R-TPK-4 reporting for Mission Breifing."

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

looks at Yossa with a weird look on her face...

"Who the hell's R-TPK-4?"

[Benedict-R-NLD]

<Benedict rubs his arm where Johnny poked him and squints at him angrily.>

You've got a lot of gadgets over there, Mister Hygiene-guy. I'm definitely going to have to have a look at most or all of them here in the near future.

<Benedict is impressed by the official-sounding name that Yossa has given his team (assuming he meant us) and smiles and waves to anyone who is around.>

Hey, Team Leader ... can you maybe hold the briefing for a sec? I've got to use the little clone's room.

Ready for next scene.

Tee hee.

[Dexter-R-CEN]

Dexter walks into the room to find a seat with the fewest scorch marks and stands in front of it, staring at his feet, grinning madly as he waits for some sign its okay to sit.

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

The indigo citizen in the suite seems pretty occupied with his PDC, he doesn't really seem to have noticed you enter, and doesn't acknowledge you. What would you like to do?

R-TPK-4 is the official designation of your troubleshooter team, as given by the computer.

[Rolf-R-WTF-1]

Spoiler:

I want to see what yossa has on his person. do I roll d20 and add my stealth?

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Rolf

Spoiler:

There is actually a sleight of hand skill, which your character isn't trained in. In Paranoia the goal is roll a d20 and have it be under your skill rating. The lower the better. If you want to try and untrained sleight of hand then just make a d20 roll and I'll let you know what happens.

Rolf-R-WTF-1 wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

[Benedict-R-NLD]

<If no one objects, Benedict runs out to the nearest restroom, as he stated before. Everybody poops, even mutants.>

O&BGM

Spoiler:

When I get to the restroom (assuming the rest of the party allows it, and I don't think I'm being followed), I'm going to whip out my crowbar (yellow clearance) and Yossa's PDC, with which I will film a short movie, just showing my arm, including my red jumpsuit sleeve, as I destroy as much of the bathroom as possible. All the while, I will be saying things like, "Gosh! I, Yossa-R-IAN-1, sure hate the Computer and love destroying its property with my treasonously obtained equipment. I must be some kind of crazy Communist, or mutant, or both, to love bashing the glorious Computer's stuff so much with my yellow-clearance crowbar! That loyal citizen, Benedict-R-NLD-1 tried to talk sense into me, but I refused to listen, because I'm a crazy Communist, or mutant, or both! Jonny-R-OTN-1 possibly talked me into this behavior! I'm going to leave this crowbar here, because, being a Communist, or mutant, or both, I'm not very smart. Gosh, I hope I don't drop my PDC, full of this terribly incriminating evidence, as I head out of this bathroom in PLC sector and return to our briefing room!"

After a few minutes of this sort of thing, I press the Send button on Yossa's PDC and leave it on the pile of rubble in the bathroom, along with the crowbar.

<Benedict returns after a few minutes, whistling and feeling much more at ease with Alpha Complex.

[Dexter-R-CEN]

While Benedict is gone Dexter, who's still looking at the ground yells out "ALL GLORY TO THE GREAT COMPUTER, AND DEATH TO THE MUTANT TRAITORS WHO ARE LATE FOR DEBRIEFING"

[Johnny-R-OTN]

"Yup Dexter, you know it. I can't wait to get out there and kill some traitors," Johnny says rather loudly and in the direction of the Vulture guards while doing a John Wayne swagger. "Yup, the J-man is always ready for action."

<Johnny mimes pulling guns out and shooting his team-mates then flexes his pectorals and does a few body building poses.>

"I feeeeeel good. I feel like killing."

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

Rosas whips our her recording equipment and sets up in the corner near the glass.

"instead of a mission group why don't we call ourselves a party? it just sounds so much more...FUN!...the computer wants to be happy and have fun right???"

She begins setting up the strobe light...

Spoiler:

since carnage under strobe light looks WAAAAAY cooler

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Benedict-R-NLD wrote:

<If no one objects, Benedict runs out to the nearest restroom, as he stated before. Everybody poops, even mutants.>

O&BGM
** spoiler omitted **

<Benedict returns after a few minutes, whistling and feeling much more at ease with Alpha Complex.

Spoiler:

Nice. Perversity point

[Recording Officer Rosas-R-RED-1]

note: my internet connection is down at the house, so this is my last post of the day

Spoiler:

if I see anyone acting suspicious, I make sure to zoom in on them. Especially if they are in close proximity to each other...

"SMILE EVERYONE! Let's have fun while we wait for that stinking mutant to return!"

starts the strobe light, and accesses iPDC music station, turns up the volume...

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

Presumably you get yourselves settled (eventually). Benedict strolls back in with a big shit eating grin on his face and takes a seat.

The indigo citizen sitting behind the blast shield continues to focus his attention on his PDC, while he speaks with you. He never looks up to acknowledge your presence.

"Hi Citizens."

A few seconds later: "So, how'd it go?"

You aren't even sure who he's addressing (presumably team leader Yossa).

[Benedict-R-NLD]

Omnipotent and Benevolent GM wrote:

Presumably you get yourselves settled (eventually). Benedict strolls back in with a big s~*& eating grin on his face and takes a seat.

Ewwww. Just so we're clear, that's NOT what Benedict was doing in the bathroom. He may be a mutant ... but still!

[Yossa-R-IAN]

"Well, I did sucessfully lead the team in obtaining the equipment for our upcoming mission. We would of been here sooner, but half the team apparently didn't understand that when they are ordered to go to a mission debreifing, they shouldn't continue to stand around the equipment depot."

[Omnipotent and Benevolent GM]

"Uh, huh. That's interesting..."

He continues to be focused on his PDC. You can hear the faint sound of strange video game music/sound effects coming from the device.

[Johnny-R-OTN]

Yossa-R-IAN wrote:

"Well, I did sucessfully lead the team in obtaining the equipment for our upcoming mission. We would of been here sooner, but half the team apparently didn't understand that when they are ordered to go to a mission debreifing, they shouldn't continue to stand around the equipment depot."

"That's funny, I don't recall you issuing such an order. Do you have it recorded, trenchcoat?"