Conan The Barbarian: The Ten Word Game

[Vattnisse]

ancestral lands' rivers stands a mountain so unfathomably tall that

[Digitalelf]

the giants who live upon this mountain, proclaim that it

[Vattnisse]

bridges the realms of mortals and those of the gods

[Kirth Gersen]

of the underworld, for such height is like the deepest

[Aberzombie]

and most stygian pit that one could ever dare try

[Digitalelf]

And so the journey commenced! Conan taking one last look

[Kirth Gersen]

at Sonja's silken curves, so supple and yet voluptuous, that

[Digitalelf]

it reminded him, "Oh crap! I left that jar of

[Aberzombie]

Stygian Salsa sitting open on the counter." This would later

[Kirth Gersen]

come back to haunt them: lethal events unfolded from that

[Digitalelf]

last party Conan hosted, where the salsa was so putrid

[Kirth Gersen]

it turned Thoth-Amon from a peaceful rastafarian to a demon-worshipping

[Kruelaid]

Pikachu look-a-like. Conan grasped the reins of his steed and

[Aberzombie]

drove the horse through the agitated party crowd, trampling any

[Kirth Gersen]

loons or trollops who happened to get in the way,

[Aberzombie]

and bursting through the great glass doors on the far

[Digitalelf]

side of the convenience store they were in, where he purchased a new

[Aberzombie]

lighter - perfect for a quick fire to cover an escape.

[Kirth Gersen]

Behind him, the store exploded into flames, as Sonja microwaved

[Vattnisse]

a large paint tin filled with rusty nails and gasoline

[Digitalelf]

The paint was lavender, which filled Conan with rage because he absolutly cannot

[Aberzombie]

find anything in his wardrobe that matches the color. Sonja

[Kirth Gersen]

was wearing lavendar underwear, but saw no need to mention

[Aberzombie]

this to the rather irrate barbarian, since he might then

[Digitalelf]

want to steal them and wrap them around his enormous

[Kirth Gersen]

bunyons, to ease the pressure on his incongruously dainty feet.

[Vattnisse]

"Well", Sonja said, "you know what they say about tiny-footed

[Kruelaid]

..." Conan slapped her for her insolence... on her muscular buttocks.

[Kirth Gersen]

But Sonja was a liberated valkyrie; she drew steel and

[Jal Dorak]

proceeded to put her new picture up on the fridge.

[Aberzombie]

It was a picture of blood and iron, the kind

[Kirth Gersen]

that took precedence over frantic journeys begun in comvenience stores

[Kruelaid]

It was the best of times, it was the worst

[Aberzombie]

of meals, the kind that made people sick to their

[Digitalelf]

spleens! Conan vowed to never again eat one of those

[Aberzombie]

camel burgers, for the beasts were most foul and tended

[Kirth Gersen]

to make Conan's accursed Stygian salsa seem like a pleasant

[Vattnisse]

condiment, like pickles or mustard. "Camel burger with Stygian salsa?

[Kirth Gersen]

Better you should drink vampire blood, and crossbreed with snakes!"

[Jal Dorak]

thought the muscled warrior as he punched an elderly woman.

[Aberzombie]

Unfortunately, the "elderly woman" turned out to actually be the

[Heathansson]

grammama of Thulsa Doom, who I know was really Kull's

[Aberzombie]

main squeeze, but hey - blame those Hollywood blasphemers. Thulsa Doom

[Jal Dorak]

called out in a deep voice "Conan, I am your

[Kirth Gersen]

ride to the airport! And if thou dost not dismount

[Aberzombie]

from that swingset, thou wilt not get icecream on the

[Jal Dorak]

backs of curvacious slave-girls wearing nothing but the sheerest

[Aberzombie]

leather and chain armor." Conan was not pleased with this

[Vattnisse]

ultimatum. "I want ice cream, nubile slave girls and swingsets!

[Kirth Gersen]

And I want my mommy!" Weeping, the heretofore indominable barbarian