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Vecna suffers a nervous breakdown from keeping so many secrets, causing his portfolio to transfer to Bob, the He-Lady of Stuff.I love the idea of Vecna being a bag lady with tons of crap in her purse that she won't let anyone see.
Muttering to herself, stopping to cackle every now and then with some portentous bit of garbled nonsense. "The stone circle beneath the seas of the moon! HEE HEE HEE!"
All adventures will have a corporate sponsor. Coming up:
Econolodge on the Shadowfell
The Weather Channel Thunderspire Labyrinth
The ConAgra Food Pyramid of Shadows
The top PCs can compete for the right to earn individual sponsorships, wearing brand stickers on their armor like NASCAR drivers. These sponsorships will entitle them to gold pieces, upgrades and accessories for the mounts and equipment, and other promotional considerations.
4E's DDI will look better than this.
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All adventures will have a corporate sponsor. Coming up:
Econolodge on the Shadowfell
The Weather Channel Thunderspire Labyrinth
The ConAgra Food Pyramid of Shadows
Ooh, product placement in adventures! You go to DI to set up your virtual dungeon and it will come fully stocked with Cabbage Patch brand plushies in place of monsters (collect them all, just click the plushy to add this item to your cart!) and Ikea dungeon furnishings. (Which you can deselect and replace with other things, if you purchased the deluxe advertising-free version of the service).
Various 'core' dieties symbols will be replaced by branding from sponsors. The god of effervescent has a Coke symbol, for instance, while the goddess of speed and athleticism has a Nike 'holy symbol.' M&M mars will sponsor Clerics of the god of energy, whose symbol is a handful of colored candies. They Turn Undead by shouting 'Taste the Rainbow!' and invoking a hail of multicolored candies that shower down upon the target area.
Cities will compete for a chance to be the 'iconic city,' and instead of Greyhawk or Waterdeep or Sharn, the new 'core setting city' will be a fantasy tweaked version of Chicago, with participating shops and merchants represented by online versions of their actual stores (which link to their actual websites, for shopping convenience). As your character buys a sword from 'Blade-Mart,' popups will remind the player that Wal-Mart also sells an assortment of sporting goods, including survival knives, and check out our cutlery section!
1) Seeing is Dragonborn will have boobs, and for some reason every argument about the dragonborn somehow includes a reference to the platypus, all dragonborn casters will automatically get a platypus for their familar. The default name for this familiar will be called "Dragonboobs" if not properly named.
2) Gnomes and Dwarves, given their closness of relation will now be able to breed with each other producing a new race comming out in the later handbook called Dwomes.
3) Square for movement are actually being replace with triangles.
4) Wizard impliments won't be neccessary to cast, but the range without them for all spells will be 1 square... er 2 triangles.
5) The King Kong, Godzilla, Papa Smurf, Barbra Streisand, Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus will all be in the MM as Epic-level threats.
6) Monks will now have a more Indian flavor to them and will replicate the skills and style of Dhalsim from Street Fighter 2.
7) Professional Wrestling will be considered a legit fighting skill and will have it's own progression tree availible for the melee classes.
8) Loinclothes and chainmail bikinis will now have legitimate AC bonuses by adding double your charisma modifier to your AC.
9) Being fat will now add extra armor class points to your character, and will make it harder for enemies to use their "kidnap humanoid" special attack.
10) Magical tattoos and piercings will now be a big part of the game, but will lower your loot automatically by 20%, due to lack of realistic employment opportunities for your character.
what the...how did that smurf-picture automatically add to my post?
Ooh, product placement in adventures!
Ayup. (NSFW)
I love the idea of Vecna being a bag lady with tons of crap in her purse that she won't let anyone see.
I never liked the idea of making Vecna a deity... now I do :)
Thank you to whomever it was who started this thread*.
*Assumed to be mwbeeler, but on the Paizo boards, with vanishing posts, you never quite know.
It's alive, alive!
welcome
My communist overlords have informed me that 4E contains 'Manchurian candidate' codes that are going to activate sleeper assassins all over America.
In a nod to MMORPG gamers of the Everquest persuasion, the Outer Plane cosmology will be replaced by one plane, the Astral Plane of Waiting. Through DDI interface, players will be able to take their characters there with the proper gate. At this plane many bored spellcasters will loiter, waiting for a group to show up to play with and casting 'buffing' spells on others for astral diamonds.
Wizards of the Coast as announced a new edition of D&D.
D&D 2.75, the grumpy gamer edition. For those gamers who are still grousing about that new fangled 3.0 and how it's not really D&D.
4E will enlarge your penis. Buy now while they're still in stock!
4E will enlarge your penis. Buy now while they're still in stock!
It's true! My wife's penis is now twice the size it was in 3.5!
4E will enlarge your penis. Buy now while they're still in stock!
It's true! My wife's penis is now twice the size it was in 3.5!
ROFLMAO :)
Are you guys playing D&D or F.A.T.A.L.?
4E will enlarge your penis. Buy now while they're still in stock!
4e or the penises?