Paizo Pathfinder flexed his hefty 96 page bulk and flashed his glossy pages – 4e be damned – as the crack-smoke dragon, winning initiative, formed itself into a ring.
The crack dragon counted his fingers to keep track of all his actions under the new rules, which he hadn't finished reading yet.
And with smoky feat, rushed up Paizo Pathfinder's nose.
Now, as anyone who has had something with more than 10HD up their nose can tell you, having a crack dragon poking you sinuses is seriously f*$#ing painful.
The high had taken over, euphoric surrender.
There was a big fight and all the shaolin monks squirmed, twitching and totally strobing from their crack high, while the crack dragon lay unconscious, smothered by nasally violated Pathfinder, who was singed from having been stuffed in a pipe and sparked up by the dragon's lackies, the fiendish crack-heads.
There was suddenly a gust of wind from a nearby open window that cleared all of the smoke from the room.
... A room, it seems, which appeared out of nowhere.
And in that very moment, away behind in some courtyard of the city, a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, recking nothing of wizardry or war, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming with the dawn.
He was hungry for breakfast -- pancakes and muffins !!
The Laughing Gremlin was quiet as he approached, which was odd for it's reputation was mouthed off the cuff of murders and scumbags of the illest sort of men.
These men had lung cancer from smoking too much, staff infections from their filthy living conditions, and it hurt when they peed.
He found a empty booth in the back and sat down.
The dust, grime, and crack cocaine of heavy heroing left his nose rather boogered up, which he began to obtrusively remedy.
Inside tje envelope was tje formula solving tje Cryptonmenesia Pjenomenon (a.k.a. reincarnation).
All of a suddenly he was surrounded by eighty eight ninjas.
He fell to the floor from the wave of dizziness that swept over him from standing up too quickly while drunk.
Just then, he realized "there is no spoon"... and had to stir his coffee with a salad fork instead.
Just then, Chuck Yeager nosed his flying machine over into a dive, and with a devlish grin unleashed his bird's twin chain-guns in the general direction of the ninja -- not really caring who he hit.
The ninja moved like the wind as hot lead pierced everything around him, his reflexes instantly took over as he unleashed a hailstorm of throwing stars which struck critical vitals of the planes engine and fuel system.
Chuck Yeager, growling out loud as he felt critical systems buck and explode as the shurikens hit, pulled a wing over in a hard turn, circling for another pass.
The joystick shuddered--Yeager bore down on the posturing, black robed, Mike McArtor fanboi and unleashed his cannons again.
Not realizing that the cannons were loaded with silly putty eggs, he pressed on with the attack and mis-fired.
A carebear soared behind Yeager on his rainbow cloud: "you just need a hug, Chuck," he cried out.
The kobold, deciding that this must stop, attacked the bear, who roared and squished the kobold, when suddenly the trassque came along.
The beargot mad and squashed the tarrasque.
The kobold, meanwhile, observed the amaginitive poodle, who apparently believed the bear was tough.
The bear was a jedi, who trained under Master Yoda.
The tarrasque was a tarrasque, who was a tarrasque.
But unbenonced to the bear, master yoda was so old and ugly he died; get over it!!!
Taking a time out, the bear went into the woods to take a s@~!, and ended up squatting next to a rabbit also taking a dump, "Do you have problems with s~!* sticking to your fur?", the bear asked the rabbit; the rabbits said, "why no." -- so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Jedi prophecy tells of a day when Yoda will get charged with lechery and slapped with a restraining order preventing him from approaching within 100 meters of any female change rooms, either physically or ethereally.
On the edge of the universe, away from all.
A Bpfassh dark Jedi was slain near the