Poll: Who would win?


Off-Topic Discussions

51 to 88 of 88 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>
Liberty's Edge

Thats what I'm talking about!

There needs to be more monkey love on this poll.

...er... yeah, not meant how it sounded...

Grand Lodge

Those little guys are..., um, impressive, aren't they? Still, numbers alone won't save the monkeys - if there is anything to be learned from fantasy novels, it must be that hordes of low-grade mooks always fail to beat a single heroic individual. And, face it, horny bonobos are simply not cut from heroic cloth.

I'd give them a chance against Conan O'Brien, though.


farewell2kings wrote:
Drunks with cutlasses, parrots and flintlock pistols? Who could vote against them????

...so, you voted for Erik too?


Heathansson wrote:

*sigh*

I just saw a show about bonobo's. Monkeys win.

They make Gene Simmons look positively chaste.

Reminds me of my 22nd year. I was awful.

Apes aren't monkeys. Cellularly, we actually fall beween the two in chromosome count.

A replacement reason to vote for a Monkee? Davey Jones singing Daydream Believer. Erik Mona would fall to his knees, ineffectively palming his ears as blood forced out in morbid patterns of trickly wet.

Shat would have a finger in his ears, trying to hit the notes--all the better to release a new album (for the purposes of this poll understand... a Shatner album with more than eight tracks is a doomsday device which could surely destroy anyone else on the list--the poll should have read Shatner (sans latest singing attempt).

And robots? Well do you remember what the Monkees did to that supercomputer? They asked it a question about a sandwhich and the thing blew up. I'd imagine that robots would be even easier prey.


Vattnisse wrote:

Those little guys are..., um, impressive, aren't they? Still, numbers alone won't save the monkeys - if there is anything to be learned from fantasy novels, it must be that hordes of low-grade mooks always fail to beat a single heroic individual. And, face it, horny bonobos are simply not cut from heroic cloth.

I'd give them a chance against Conan O'Brien, though.

Bonobos are chimps... they're pretty big... and considering their hearty libidos they'd have the pirates bare-assed and cooking snacks in aprons by sunset.


magdalena thiriet wrote:
farewell2kings wrote:
Drunks with cutlasses, parrots and flintlock pistols? Who could vote against them????
...so, you voted for Erik too?

Ouch! ;)

Though it would explain his bias against ninjas -a pirate's natural enemy, ninjas just aren't boisterous enough.

GGG


Hey why aren't dinosaurs on this list?

GGG

Liberty's Edge

The Jade wrote:
Vattnisse wrote:

Those little guys are..., um, impressive, aren't they? Still, numbers alone won't save the monkeys - if there is anything to be learned from fantasy novels, it must be that hordes of low-grade mooks always fail to beat a single heroic individual. And, face it, horny bonobos are simply not cut from heroic cloth.

I'd give them a chance against Conan O'Brien, though.

Bonobos are chimps... they're pretty big... and considering their hearty libidos they'd have the pirates bare-assed and cooking snacks in aprons by sunset.

Actually, they're "pigmy" chimpanzees. OR...PIMPanzees.

"Don't stop, get it get it!"


Heathansson wrote:

Bonobos are chimps... they're pretty big... and considering their hearty libidos they'd have the pirates bare-assed and cooking snacks in aprons by sunset.

Actually, they're "pigmy" chimpanzees. OR...PIMPanzees.

"Don't stop, get it get it!"

Standing corrected and loving it. I meant to say that, aside from baboons and their rainbow mugged mandrill cousins, the bonobos are have a good deal more heft than a monkey... and a bunch of these guys coming at you with their best intentions pointing at your vulnerables like lances to the charge ain't no minor threat. You're gonna taste chimp, pure and simple. Well... maybe not so pure... or simple. Uch...

Intersting side fact: Back when a remake of Tarzan was being filmed with Bo Derek, Cheetah and his other chimp pallies hopped on the naked actress and wriggled off a collective 23 pounds of primate weight in under two minutes.

Her husband John shouted, "Bo! No! Bo?! Don't enjoy it!"

And that's how the Bo-no-bo got its name and oh so saucy reputation.

Silver Crusade

My money is on the ninja-pirate robot-monkeys.

Grand Lodge

The Jade wrote:
Bonobos are chimps... they're pretty big... and considering their hearty libidos they'd have the pirates bare-assed and cooking snacks in aprons by sunset.

Hmmmm... That is a very unsettling mental picture. I'm probably thinking of a different species of primate - the show I watched featured rather smallish monkeys who were so oversexed that even David Attenbourough had trouble keeping a straight face when commenting on their frolics.

Having said that, I do stand by my point that primates in heat will not overcome the magical machines' mailed might. Go robots!

Grand Lodge

The Jade wrote:
And that's how the Bo-no-bo got its name and oh so saucy reputation.

And that's an even more unsettling picture... Kinda reminds me of that old Hunter S. Thompson rant about how politicians deseve to be forced to serve as spunk receptacles by baboons in heat while having their ears nailed to the backs of trucks and being whipped with rusty bicycle chains. Eeeewwww...

Grand Lodge

Celestial Healer wrote:
My money is on the ninja-pirate robot-monkeys.

That would be Kid Rock, wouldn't it?


Vattnisse wrote:
The Jade wrote:
And that's how the Bo-no-bo got its name and oh so saucy reputation.
And that's an even more unsettling picture... Kinda reminds me of that old Hunter S. Thompson rant about how politicians deseve to be forced to serve as spunk receptacles by baboons in heat while having their ears nailed to the backs of trucks and being whipped with rusty bicycle chains. Eeeewwww...

That is a gorgeous paragraph!


Mike McArtor wrote:

No no, you've got it backwards. "Shatner" is a role played by Captain Kirk, who was obviously stuck here in our time continuum when a surge from the warp nacelles wreaked havoc with the teleporter.

(I voted for Shatner, incidentally. It was him or ninjas, but frankly even ninjas can't stand up to the power of Shatner.)

Eh, I think Denny Crane could take them all!


What a bunch o lan'lubbers.

Scurvy dogs be armed to the teeth -- ain't noones gonna beat that!

Pirates!


i tell you eric would win. pirates, ninjas, monkeys, magical robots have all already been givin the axe and wiped out at one stage or another and thats just in the STAP. If it came down to a war between the real life people... we just get the fans involved. Conans fans- the fake monkeys could take them. Shatners fans- they get credit for devotion but what are they going to do with fake phasers? Dungeons and Dragons fans- we have the numbers plus more countries and we have enough real weapons to take out the enterprise if it were real! (and that is just counting the weapons in texas)

Liberty's Edge

Bosun! Round up all wot's voted on that Shatner feller.

Keel hauls 'em, one and all sez oye!

Capt. Pup


It has to be the Shat- anyone who can make a career out of gurning into a camera- sell CDs where he rants into a mike badly and has a character that can build a flintlock out of old logs and rocks gets my vote.
Oh, and of course:
KKHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!

Silver Crusade

Heathansson wrote:

Bosun! Round up all wot's voted on that Shatner feller.

Keel hauls 'em, one and all sez oye!

Capt. Pup

Looks like Captain Pup needs to be reminded to do his business on the paper. Bad dog.

Liberty's Edge

Oh come on people - surely we're not going to let Shatner win? People, its Shatner, not Kirk (who would obviously win hands down) or even Denny Crane. I think we need to deduct ten points from Shatner on the simple basis that he's known as "the Shat".

Liberty's Edge

Celestial Healer wrote:
Heathansson wrote:

Bosun! Round up all wot's voted on that Shatner feller.

Keel hauls 'em, one and all sez oye!

Capt. Pup

Looks like Captain Pup needs to be reminded to do his business on the paper. Bad dog.

Riddle me this, then fried chicken wing.

Why do they call it the poop deck?


Heathansson wrote:

Riddle me this, then fried chicken wing.

Why do they call it the poop deck?

A valid question. Quick Google search reveals: Canadian Navy . . . Shipboard Terms

Shipboard Terms wrote:
As the Latin word for idol is puppis we derive poop-deck or poop. We use the expression "I'm pooped" meaning "I am completely exhausted"; that usage comes from the effect of a following sea breaking over the poop of the ship, in which case it was said that the ship was pooped.

Back to the newspaper with you. If you need me, I'll be hiding my albinism from the sunlight.

Contributor

Mike McArtor wrote:
Heathansson wrote:

Guys...it's Shatner...NOT Capt. Kirk.

Shatner's this guy who PLAYED Capt. Kirk. I could whup Shatner in a fistfight.

No no, you've got it backwards. "Shatner" is a role played by Captain Kirk, who was obviously stuck here in our time continuum when a surge from the warp nacelles wreaked havoc with the teleporter.

(I voted for Shatner, incidentally. It was him or ninjas, but frankly even ninjas can't stand up to the power of Shatner.)

Agreed on all counts Mike. Shatner just barely edged out Erik...Erik's scrappy, I've no doubt, but Shatner...well...nuff said.


More mouthwatering monkeys!

Pray for Mojo.


We cant let this thread die out with the shat winning!

Liberty's Edge

Avast, ye lubbers! Keelhaul a trekkie, oyl see how the voting goes then.

Liberty's Edge

SHATNER'S WINNING?

OK, NOW the Shat's hit the fan.

I mean, c'mon...

Kirk's awesome, but we're talking his sixty-something real-world alter ego (with emphasis on the ego).

What the hell?

-Mr. Shiny


Kirk: Khan, I'm laughing at the "superior" intellect.

Watch out for his patented double-hammer punch and double-flying kick! Plus, he fights better with a ripped shirt.

Liberty's Edge

I’ve Got Reach wrote:

Kirk: Khan, I'm laughing at the "superior" intellect.

Watch out for his patented double-hammer punch and double-flying kick! Plus, he fights better with a ripped shirt.

KIRK fights better with a ripped shirt. Khan could take the Shat with no problems.

Now, William Shatner vs. Ricardo Montalban is a fight I'd like to see!

The Exchange

You've got to be kidding. We monkeys are kings of the world!

Fellow monkeys unite!

If you have any poo, now is the time to throw it!

EDIT: Shatner IS a monkey. All votes for Shatner should count for monkeys as well.


Vy-Dann wrote:
i tell you eric would win. pirates, ninjas, monkeys, magical robots have all already been givin the axe and wiped out at one stage or another and thats just in the STAP. If it came down to a war between the real life people... we just get the fans involved. Conans fans- the fake monkeys could take them. Shatners fans- they get credit for devotion but what are they going to do with fake phasers? Dungeons and Dragons fans- we have the numbers plus more countries and we have enough real weapons to take out the enterprise if it were real! (and that is just counting the weapons in texas)

Shapnmir splatnir meet my axe laser/tazer


Conan. But only before Andy Richter tried to do his own thing.


Vattnisse wrote:

I've only seen the promo spots for Shatner's TV show. But based on them alone, I've decided against him. How can a salsa-dancing game-show host beat ninjas? Or, more importantly, magical robots?

He might beat Conan O'Brien, though.

No, he could not. Conan O'Brien, could beat Shatner even with out Andy Richter.

Liberty's Edge

Mike McArtor wrote:


No no, you've got it backwards. "Shatner" is a role played by Captain Kirk, who was obviously stuck here in our time continuum when a surge from the warp nacelles wreaked havoc with the teleporter.

...I think someone might have taken al ittle too much LDS at Berkeley back in the 60s.

And double dumbass on you, too!

P.S. - Kirk is the MAN, but the Shat needs to retire. Badly.


Pirates RULE! (plus, they have that bad boy thing going for them)


farewell2kings wrote:
Drunks with cutlasses, parrots and flintlock pistols? Who could vote against them????

Pirates ROCK! They make sea-legs on land look sexy. Add to that a pistol being drunkenly waved around and you've definately got people ducking rather than fighting.

Sovereign Court

Just because I don't think this topic was fully fleshed out enough.

51 to 88 of 88 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / Off-Topic Discussions / Poll: Who would win? All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.
Recent threads in Off-Topic Discussions