The Five Word Game!

[Heathansson]

whilst quaffing liberal quantities of

[Vattnisse]

stupor-inducing beverages offered to him

[Heathansson]

by his throng of hangers-on.

[Vattnisse]

His senses impaired, he failed

[Heathansson]

to see a shadowy form

[farewell2kings]

leaping from a slimy barstool

[Heathansson]

and ambling toward him, wickedness

[Vattnisse]

seemingly oozing from its unwholesome

[Heathansson]

visage; gibbering mockingly it drew

[Vattnisse]

an impossibly huge enruned falchion

[Heathansson]

and with a swift step,

[Vattnisse]

swung the blade at the

[Celestial Healer]

stool where he sat, sending

[Heathansson]

a spray of wooden flechettes

[office_ninja]

into the neighboring, confused patrons.

[Heathansson]

The talespinner, quickly sobering, drew

[office_ninja]

what could only be called

[Heathansson]

a fistful of death: the

[Vattnisse]

secret maneouver known only to

[Heathansson]

crouching werewolf martial adepts. He

[Vattnisse]

assumed the "ornery rhinoceros" stance

[Celestial Healer]

and clucked like a chicken

[office_ninja]

on methamphetamines. Within minutes, all

[Celestial Healer]

that remained of the assailant

[Vattnisse]

was tattered fleshy shreds floating

[office_ninja]

in stinky pools of loot.

[Vattnisse]

"Finally, a magic weapon!", exclaimed

[Celestial Healer]

the bard, as he pulled

[office_ninja]

out his masterwork rapier. He'd

[Heathansson]

been expecting some trouble, but

[Vattnisse]

the loathsome creature's massive blade

[Celestial Healer]

was flaccid like boiled spaghetti

[Vattnisse]

; clearly, its magic had been

[office_ninja]

spent in a previous "encounter".

[Celestial Healer]

So the bard ordered another

[office_ninja]

"Waterdeep Special", and asked that

[Heathansson]

he keep them coming, as

[office_ninja]

he hated his life. Squeakily,

[Heathansson]

this dame down the bar

[Celestial Healer]

asked him why he was

[office_ninja]

covered in half-farspawn, flaming leeches.

[Vattnisse]

"Obviously, I'm so irresistibly attractive

[Heathansson]

that everyone just wants to

[Vattnisse]

stay reeeeal close... WHAT!?! Leeches??!!"

[Heathansson]

he exclaimed, thrashing and rolling

[Celestial Healer]

on the floor like a

[Heathansson]

spastic gnome hopped up on

[Vattnisse]

really bad prescription-strength horse tranquilisers

[Heathansson]

chased by a bolus injection

[Vattnisse]

concocted by shady mercane pharmacists.