Before his fiery demise, the dwarf with no name could oft be heard muttering something to the effect of " We'll go down to the Cairn, kill a few critters, get us some schwag, have a few laughs ... now I know what a wheelbarrow feels like. " (My apologies to the original Die Hard flick for butchering some of the choicer one-liners.)
In the whispering cairn when exploring the wolf den looking for the missing lamp. (The wolf didn't hear the halfling rogue.)
DM(me): You hear a shuffling noise from inside.
Halfling(John): I go deeper in.
DM(me): John, wolf.
Halfling(John): Ahh! *(High pitched almost to the point of a squeak)
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Player slays a Hydra in the Marsh with my three 20's in a row auto kill rule while looking for the Lizard folk lair in the Encounter at Blackwell Keep.
"I am the Hydra slaying god of awesomeness!"
Player: "Well that tiefling definately signalled someone in the next room, so we should check for danger that way first."
Me the DM: "Wait a second, you think he sounded an alarm, so you want to walk into it? OK."
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You want to know what's funny?
Twelve attempted Heal checks to remove a worm.
I just can see the whole party taking turns stabbing the Kobold with the silver scalpel.
"No, your not doing it right, like this!"
*Stab*
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Player: "So four militiamen are following us into the Caves of Erythnul? Level 2 warriors?"
DM: "Yes, these guys are hardened privates."
Player: "Hardened privates?! I'm not comfortable keeping them in the rear. I order them to thrust ahead! (Chuckle)"
DM: "Hey! Don't blame me, it says right here in the Overload that they're hardened privates."
Player: "Who wrote the Overload?"
DM: "Erik Mona . . ."
"Stay away from my box."
~Waldo, Rogue/Fighter/Demolitionist
Insanity rules are cruel, but fun, and lobbing off one of the PC's love interests' heads and putting it in a box is really morbid. Having it drive him crazy and making him become fixated on it and having him carry it around is funny --in a really morbid way.
BTW, Revenge is a dish best served at the end of a baseball bat and glaive.
Yea, giving you her head in a box was a stroke of genius on my part.
Doing it AFTER implementing the Sanity rules, priceless.
Okoral: Waldo, I have a gift for you. But I want Brock to open it.
Brock: *Opens Box*
Waldo: What's in the box, Brock?
Brock: *Look of horror*
Waldo: What's in the damn box, Brock!?
Okoral: *Laughing*
Yea, giving you her head in a box was a stroke of genius on my part.
Doing it AFTER implementing the Sanity rules, priceless.Okoral: Waldo, I have a gift for you. But I want Brock to open it.
Brock: *Opens Box*
Waldo: What's in the box, Brock?
Brock: *Look of horror*
Waldo: What's in the damn box, Brock!?
Okoral: *Laughing*
He got his sweet revenge, dropping him to below zero with a 'nade and proceeding to do massive Coup De Grace damage with Brock.
Wizard, alone, trying to convince bad guy he is on his side and sensing the conversation is about to devolve into melee:
"Look, let me make myself pefectly clear"
and then casts silent, stilled invisibility.
In the TFE, within the maze,
the venerable gray elf wizard Eldervarios: hey ,i just remebered this really cool spell, does everyone have a good reflex save and lots of hit points?
Neilpo, Big E's great something daughter: I'm Good.
Ranger Rick: Dear gods! NONONONONO!!
Big E: FIREBALL!! Can you make a DC 26, Oh and the damage was..WOW max, so thats..36 points.
Neilpo:Crap, thats a 1
Ranger Rick: so how amy hits you have left
Neilpo:UUHM..Err (counts on fingers) negitive 25..
Dm: Big E, you killed all of the Birds. Time for exp.
Big E: How much did i get for Neilpo?