Also, when I was GMing the Stargate game, I misspoke, and instead of asking "How high are your Hit Points?", I asked "How high are you?".
We had that question cause a lot of confusion when I used to play Champions--with all the flying characters and the excessive bong hits the question always needed clarification, or we just forgot.
My Sunday group (in which I play rather than DM) met once again to shoot the breeze and kill things together. Most of us were pretty knackered, so the humour levels weren't quite up to par. However, what we had mostly centred around the defeat of a carniverous magical plant, a Blue Moss Creeper. Which looks suspiciously like a hedge with flowers growing out of it.
Andy (Playing the Hooded Mage), speaking to my character, the party tank: "I can't believe you just got taken down by an herbaceous border!"
Donald (the DM): Your lucky. That pollen was susposed to turn you in into vegetable zombies.
Me, OOC and deliberately mis-hearing: Vegetarian zombies! Ah, quick, lock up the bramburry bushes!
Andy: GRAINS!!!!!!!
DM OOC: Hah! The last group I ran this for took a cutting home with them.
Me OOC: Well thats one way of keeping folk off the verge!
After being faced by the fourth stone statue of the day and just KNOWING that this one is gonna animate and try to kill us as well.
Me (as Rebus): We'd better try speaking to this statue. Somebody else try it, I just cant bring myself to speak to a piece of rock!
Natasha (as Belinda): Why not? Thats the same reaction you'd normally get from us anyway?
DM to Sabiduria, female Paladin of Pelor, female player.
DM: Some drunks are sexually harassing you. They are leering and making remarks about your body and what they will do with you when you leave the bar.
Sab: Whatever
DM: One of them stumbles over and tries to grab your... ummm. You know what I mean.
Sab: I push him away, do I need to make a roll?
DM: Nah he's wasted, this would be a take 10 kind of combat for you. He is talking about your ass now.
Sab: Whatever. It's a nice one.
DM: The drunk asks you: "Does Pelor have a lot of sexy b+#+#es like you?"
Sab: That's it. I say to him: "I'm a religious woman and I don't like violence, but if you don't shut up about Pelor I'm going to beat you unconscious 3 times... AND I'm only going to heal you twice."
In my Styes campaign, playing Escape From Meenlock Prison, the PCs finally released a particular prisoner after finding his half-transformed father-in-law.
Tybalt (Hellbred Paladin): Okay, we're gonna take this guy upstairs to give him some treatment. And you're going to carry him.
Karak (Kenku Rogue): Yeah, he's pretty disgusting. I'm not touching him.
Prisoner (sobbing): This is the worst birthday ever.
|
In my Styes campaign, playing Escape From Meenlock Prison, the PCs finally released a particular prisoner after finding his half-transformed father-in-law.
Tybalt (Hellbred Paladin): Okay, we're gonna take this guy upstairs to give him some treatment. And you're going to carry him.
Karak (Kenku Rogue): Yeah, he's pretty disgusting. I'm not touching him.
Prisoner (sobbing): This is the worst birthday ever.
I had a bunch of players tell me Escape from Meenlock Prison was the best adventure I have ever run.
...
I still don't know if they figured out that
a.) most of the dungeon was illusory, and
b.) I was completely winging it.
Sab: That's it. I say to him: "I'm a religious woman and I don't like violence, but if you don't shut up about Pelor I'm going to beat you unconscious 3 times... AND I'm only going to heal you twice."
HAR-HAR_HAR! I loved that one!
Heres a few from my Eberron Game:
Nine: When you think about it, my warhammers really justa very heavy lockpick!
Constance, the Arificer with a feat that lets her fire force bolts from otherwise crap magical items: "I can do things with a light wand that you wouldn`t believe!"
There were others, but until I can find my quotes page I cant stick them up.
Hmm found my notes page. But there are a few less on it than I remember. At least, there are a few less that I can actually put out on a PG13 forum. In fact, theres only one :(
Bagson (after learning that Father Morton, the NPC cleric that just healed three characters on negative hit points back to functionality is taking everything from a looted armoury to arm the fleeing townsfolk): Hey, you can`t do that! That stuffs ours!
Father Morton: "Consider it a gratuity for all the free healing".
The one-liners started flying finally in the First Savage Tide:
The cloistered cleric, observing thier home city of Sasserine, to the other party members:
" Sasserine IS a wretched hive of scum and villany - we should know, we grew up here. "
|
In a very long running Rolemaster campaign, one of the party members was an equivalent to the 3.5 Blackguard. the rest of our party consisted of a warriormage, a psionic assassin and a neutral fighter. Our Blackguard had a powerful sword of chaos that allowed him to Gate in lower planer creatures. Normally, they would be about appropriate for our level, but as a chaotic item, they occasionally were much stronger or weaker. Here is one of the funnier exchanges:
DM: The drake circles for another pass.
Fighter: Summon something! We can't take this thing without help.
Blackguard: no.
Assasin: Dude, we need help. Just call something and sick it on the Drake!
Blackgauard: No. I have a bad feeling tonight.
Fighter/Assassin: Just do it already.
DM: I'm waiting.
Blackguard: OK, fine "I call the denizens of darkness to aid me now. Come forth!"
Dm: (after consulting tables and wincing.) YOu see hands come through the Gateway -
Fighter: What, just hands?
DM: No, the hands rip the gate open to about twice its original size. The creature that comes through is humanoid, with huge wings and wreathed in flames. (it was a moloch. Sort of the Balrog's lil bro)
Assassin: (Fighter & assassin fail terror checks and are immobilized.) I think I crapped myself.
Blackguard: "I am your master?" (rolls a 100 and manages to barely control his summoned THING)
Dm: YOu lucky b@st**d! It says "yes, master"
We still use that line when it hits the fan in a game "I'm YOUR master?"
Quotes from the sem-regular Sunday game in which I play. We started at 15:30 and had to finish at 18:00 because the DM finished work late and I`m on stand-by, so its a very limited selection tonight.
Rebus (after encountering a magical glass box that seems to contain a helmet when examined from outside but which is empty to the touch): I put the box on my head and turn to the others. "Has anything happened?"
Belinda: Yeah, you look like an idiot.
DM (describing a nine foot wide human skull floating in the air); Bet you dont have a miniture for THAT!
Me: Right with you...
DM (Reading the inscription beneath the statue of a naked warrior): Arm me and receive what you deserve!
Rebus: What we deserve?
Belinda: Oh S**t!
The Hooded Mage: Can`t we just put this stuff back instead?
One of my fellow gaming group members, (and Paizo poster-Turin the Mad) sometimes states: using a very good immitation voice from the old computer game Guantlet) "____ is about to die" -whenever someone is about to fall over dead.
One of my fellow gaming group members, (and Paizo poster-Turin the Mad) sometimes states: using a very good immitation voice from the old computer game Guantlet) "____ is about to die" -whenever someone is about to fall over dead.
And four thier were, only ... they died. Even worse, one was due to (literal) friendy fire. "Red Cleric is about to die. Zombies need food badly. " (Fails 2 'Need to Feed' rolls, cleric gets devoured.)
The quotable for this afternoon/evening's 1st STAP group is the dialoug by the Hudson character in the movie Aliens... and if you don't know what that is, go watch it again. ^_^
Some quotes from tonights game:
Captain Merryweather: "I'm Captain Apple Merryweather. I hate apples, I`m sure as hell not merry and I loathe the weather. Welcome to Lychegate."
Leftenant Ellion D'neith: Go on then. Shoot me with ten arrows. I dare you.
Leftenant Ellion: Don't try the special beer... Too special.
Ellion: Name the odd one out: goblin, goblin, goblin, goblin, goblin, goblin, hippopotamus, goblin?
Spaced-out but extremely powerful ancient druid: Hippopotumus. There aren't any on this island but theres loads of all the rest.
Ellion: Goblins, because they never make sense.
Druid:......
Constance: But that doesn't make any sense either!
Ellion: They dont have...erm..... the proper breeding here.
Constance: I dont quite understand?
Bagson (with perfect comedic timing): He means they`ve all been sha**ing their sisters!!!
Scumgrove city guard: Did you just ask about law and order? (Laughs harshly) lady, didn't you read the sign on the way in?
DM (Me) to Adria's player: Your going to give some of that druids weed to Constance?
Adria: Yup
DM: Constance?
Adria: Yup!
DM: The seveenteen year old, sheltered, innocent, sweet little girl who trusts you implicitly and has never had a glass of unwatered wine in her short, peaceful, carefree and happy little life?
Adria: Oh yeah!
DM (pause): Did I mention she has a Con score of six?
Adria (grinning evilly): Well, she said she wanted to experience new things.
Nine OOC: COnstance has a Con score of six? Wow, I thought Ruz was bad.
ME: Dude, when she diced for the level up she was lucky she didnt gain negative hit points.
There followed a comedy dialogue that lasted about fifteen minutes as I described how bright and cheerful the next morning was, how loud the birds were singing, how impressive the thud of the marching armies boots, the clatter of hoof on cobble - the loud noise of painful, synchonished wretching as Constance and Ellion engaged in a race to determine just who could out-vomit who.
That special beer really did turn out to be special after all.
Full campaign journal entry goes up tomorrow.
not guite a one liner, but close. Shackled city AP, 3.0 version. Tongue eater was destroying the party(dr/10) no silverweapns no spellcaster. anyway, final two characters left standing are the hafling rogue, Fritz Goodtree and Maharis. T eater, crit. FRitz -3, Mahris Cure, repeat x3. During fight chumbawamba song comes on, I get knocked down, but i get up again.
From a one-shot today...
GM: So, basically, adding up the sneak attack, holy, and regular damage, with the current HP of the hellcat... You basically hit it hard enough that the side of the devil facing you implodes, and the side facing the monk explodes. Good thing the rest of the pack is dead, or else they'd be trying to figure out if the monk was still a toy or a disguised devil now.
Rogue: I flash the lantern open and then duck out of the way.
GM: So, basically, you flick the lantern open, shut it, leap to one side, and yell at the monk, "Did you see if it has any naughty bits!?"
GM: So, now, rather than three angry hellhounds bounding over a bridge, you have three hellhounds who think they're puppies, feeling playful, swimming across the Styx at you.
Monk: I'm not sure which was the worse of the two...
Monk: Can I use the halfling as a weapon?
GM: Only as an improvised one.
Monk: Would she do bludgeoning or slashing?
The group I'm running has just finished the Soul Pillars, and had great difficulty dealing with the Ice Demon in the first room. Several plans were discussed, but the debate came to a crashing end with this line from the cleric:
"Allright, well while we're discussing half-assed plans that haven't got a chance, how about this one?"
And then they just decided to go with brute force...
Reggie.
Here are a few from one of our recent sessions.
"So this is an entire town of cross-dressers?!"
"You make a damn ugly man!" Me, on the other two players dressing as men.
in STAP - SWW, the Sargasso....
( kelpy Vine Horrors approaching, making the Swashbuckler quib ) : "great, night of the Walking Sushi"
in STAP, SWW, Tamoachan temple...
(over the corpse of the basilisk )
Swordsage : that thing really reminds me of my mother in law
Mage : why, the evil gaze and all ?
Swordsage . nope the eight legs and the lazy attitude
Mage : ?????
(five minutes later, encountering the gibbering mouther )
Swordsage : oh, that thing does.
Mage (interrupting him) : yeah, it keeps blathering like your mother in law
Swordsage : no, but it seems to use the same makeup !
(an hour later, Varangoin approaching )
Ranger : *hums the theme from batman*
Swordsage : *uses a dagger-whip for deadly effect, insta-killing*
Mage : more like "batty man"...
in STAP, HtbM; Olangru ambush
Olangru : *teleports away with a screaming Urol*
Mage : aehhhhh, this guy hasn't read the script ? I mean, the blonde woman is still here...*looks at amella* ..
in STAP, HtbM; Lemorian Golem
Monk : Swell ugly statuary with an attitude !
Knight : Art school classes will never be the same again...
Party is low on rations after long journey.
Nice roll by the Elf, they spot 15 really stupid Kobold troops hiding in a cave entrance waiting to ambush some Goblins that the party is tracking, but who have already passed by.
Wizard fireballs cave entrance, without missing a beat: "tastes like chicken"
|
|
While this is more about people who are Paizonians than D&D or other tabletop gaming, some choice quips from the Seven Swords corp in EVE... I'm Khellias, Fatespinner is Fatwatai.
(Veldspar is the single most common asteroid type in EVE. The system we hang out in tends to be jammed with at least three other types...)
Fatwatai > Have you left any belts for me, Khell?
Khellias > /emote coughs.
Khellias > Depends.
Fatwatai > -.-
Khellias > Do you like Veld?
Fatwatai > I find it odd that Anchoring has Charisma as it's secondary attribute.
Fatwatai > Do you have to convince the canisters to stay in place?
Khellias > Yes.
Khellias > Their micro-AIs are very obstinate.
Khellias > I overpower them with my force of personality.
Fatwatai > "SIT THE F**K DOWN!" "....yessir..."
Fatwatai > Genetically Enhanced Livestock is heavy.
Khellias > ...
Khellias > ...Where's the beef?
Khellias > /emote shoots himself for that.
Fatwatai > "Where's the beef?" "In a test tube."
Khellias > Mmm, synthetic beef.
Khellias > Just like Mom used to grow in the downstairs lab.
Khellias > /emote looks mildly annoyed.
Fatwatai > ?
Khellias > They're going to be wanting me to work on the winter solstice. Bah!
Fatwatai > Tell them that you have to take the day of for religious puposes. Mention sacrificing children.
Khellias > I think my coworkers would have little trouble believing that of me.
From a high level game from a while back.
DM (me): You take 80 vile damage, let me roll for the rest.
Josh: Okay how much do I really take?
DM: I mean it, you take 80 vile damage.
Josh: Jesus!!!!
The look of stuned horror that appeared on his face will forever bring a smile to my face.
Player: "Okay, I seduce my unicorn."
Funny story about an NPC dubbed the "yo-yo healer". High level encounter with a number of (very) random npcs helping out. I used the minis and stat cards from the D&D miniatures game. One of them was a 3rd level healer. She was being attacked by an enemy that need a 2 or better to hit her. On minimum damage she went down to -1, on max she went to -8. Since he had cleave he never bothered to finish her off. The cleric of the party was using very powerful mass cure effects each round to punish the undead and heal allies. His minimum healing would put her up to far more than her max hp. So for 6 rounds it was "She's up" "She's down" "She's up" "She's down". What sucked most for was her initiative was between the two, so she was alway uncious for her turn.
Here are a few special one liners from tonight's game.
Captain Monkamuck: Let's walk right into this little ambush.
Captain Monkamuck: Omana, Omana, hope you weren't a pansy, may Kord bless you or something.
Torsin's player to the gm: Would flaming poo cout as alchemist fire?
Me: Do we see our cleric roasting on a spit?
Torsin's player: Clerics roasting on an open fire.
Singing to the tune of chestnust roasting on an open fire.
Merson the Bard's attempt at seduction;
"Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I'm in this bar <wink>
and so are you".
While this is more about people who are Paizonians than D&D or other tabletop gaming, some choice quips from the Seven Swords corp in EVE... I'm Khellias, Fatespinner is Fatwatai.
(Veldspar is the single most common asteroid type in EVE. The system we hang out in tends to be jammed with at least three other types...)
Fatwatai > Have you left any belts for me, Khell?
Khellias > /emote coughs.
Khellias > Depends.
Fatwatai > -.-
Khellias > Do you like Veld?Fatwatai > I find it odd that Anchoring has Charisma as it's secondary attribute.
Fatwatai > Do you have to convince the canisters to stay in place?
Khellias > Yes.
Khellias > Their micro-AIs are very obstinate.
Khellias > I overpower them with my force of personality.
Fatwatai > "SIT THE F**K DOWN!" "....yessir..."Fatwatai > Genetically Enhanced Livestock is heavy.
Khellias > ...
Khellias > ...Where's the beef?
Khellias > /emote shoots himself for that.
Fatwatai > "Where's the beef?" "In a test tube."
Khellias > Mmm, synthetic beef.
Khellias > Just like Mom used to grow in the downstairs lab.Khellias > /emote looks mildly annoyed.
Fatwatai > ?
Khellias > They're going to be wanting me to work on the winter solstice. Bah!
Fatwatai > Tell them that you have to take the day of for religious puposes. Mention sacrificing children.
Khellias > I think my coworkers would have little trouble believing that of me.
Priceless are the off-hand comments in EVE. ^_^
|
|
All of these come from a run of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from a few years ago. If there's ever a game that is made for one-liners - it's Buffy.
For reference, our game's based in Boston and the only link to the actual series is my character (Scott) who was a member of Sunnydale High's Class of '99. While attending Boston College he makes friends with Jared, an Irish rocker; Mercy (who, unknown to all, escaped the Salem Witch Trials via a teleportation spell gone wrong); Aori a Japanese American computer wiz, and Sir Charles, a displaced 13th century knight who made a deal with a witch when the Slayer he pledged to protect was slain. The deal was to put him to sleep until his slayer's sole was reborn.
*While hanging out in a bar looking for vamps*
DM: You see a couple of guys trying to pick up girls.
Scott (me): We're in a bar.
DM: Their hair is teased and they're wearing Whitesnake shirts.
Scott and Jared: Vamps. Gotta be.
*After we follow them out of the bar, we hear screaming from an ally and find the vamps attacking two girls*
Scott: Hey! You losers know that Whitesnake's dead right?
*They turn, fully vamped out*
Scott: ...and so are you.
*The group sees a portal open in an alleyway and the body of a man appears in it*
Scott to the female members of the group: If this guy asks if your names are Sara Conner you say NO!
* Sir Charles, trying to become accustom to his new surroundings by watching TV*
Jared: Chuck we gotta go! Big things are happening.
Charles: One moment. The Prophet Montell is speaking to me. He says that we should learn to love and accept one another despite our differences.
Jared: The Prophet Montell?
Charles: The Prophet Montell is wise.
*The mental image of Jared and Scott taking Charles to a sporting goods store to buy armor and Charles settling on a football helmet and pads. And wading into every battle with them on.*
*When Aori suddenly finds she has a little brother that everyone but her remembers. She finally convinces us that he doesn't belong. So we take him to the mall to figure out what to do about it. I give him $5 to play in the arcade, then he runs off and disappears. We finally catch up to him and expose him for the demon he is*
Scott, looking down the barrel of his Super Soaker filled with Holy Water: I want my $5.
There are soooooo many more, but that game was 4 years ago and I've forgotten. If I can remember any more I'll share.
***Can't..... let.... thread.... die!****
Some quotes from my current Tuesday night game.
Oderic (Cha 20 ): "I`m too handsome to fight acid-breathing monsters!"
Throgga the NPC 1/2 Orc mercenary (after seeing Havok inching towards his kit and treasure chest):
If you wanna join me in my furs, feel free.
Elaphral: Havok is way scarier than Throgga.
Malekiron: Only if you know her El, only if you know her.
Glorfalin the 1/2 Copper Dragon (after Oderic spits down the tubular pit Glor's just glided to the bottom of): Do you really want a spitting contest with me?
Oderic (still standing over the same pit): Things are really going down the tubes now.
Malekiron: I think we're shafted!
Glorfalin: This is the pits!
Oderic: An orc in a library? I disbelieve!
Elaphral: He's smarter than the average orc.
Oderic: Do you hear that neigh, Mal? Thats the gift horse you've just been offered running out the stable door!
"I'm bleeding Ian"
"Jimmy, this has nothing to do with the current conversation, but I'm taking Endurence, Point Blank Shot and Precise Shot."
If I put up the full explanation for this pair of lines I'll probably be banned from the boards. But during the following hour long conversation I laughed so hard several times I almost blacked out. I think I feel out of my chair at least once. We had guy wonder into the sound proofed room we were playing in. He left about a minute later with a look of shock and fear in his eyes. I will never remember what we talked about in detail, but that beginning I will never forget.
Something along the lines of the following, I believe during City of Broken Idols' run by Crew 1:
Ineptus"C'mon, heedless charge always means I frag the bad guy!"
One critical spear hit to the heart later"On the other hand ..."
Heh - and another one, from Crew 2:
"Don't worry, module designers never place death traps without a way easily available to thwart them."
I am unsure at this point who made the comment, or even if I'm entirely accurate in my recollection - but that train of thought is what cost Da Pimp his character's existence in the pre-group split so long ago...
"While the paladin's dead, I honour his memory by ...um... straddling him."
"If we can't afford to raise him, I'll have his baby to remember him by! If we get him back, he'll have a lot of explaining to do."
Two words: Rigor Mortis
Just because I can`t let this thread die.
Jarred (my char, after a young Jedi asks him for instructions regarding the disposal of a prisoner): "Hurmph. There's nothing in the Jedi Code about mercy."
<shocked silence>
Caroline: Your new character really is a prat, isn`t he hon?"
Me (as myself and sounding very self-satisfied): I`m letting my inner s**t shine through!
This was from the Return to the temple of elemtal evil. One of my friends were playing a barbarian and he insisted with having boot-blades. I tried through most of the campaign convincing him of getting rid of the puny boot-blades but he refused.
Later he got swallowed by a purple worm. So he kicked it from the inside full power attack, critical, dealing somewhere around 70 points of damage, escaping the stomache and killing the worm at the same time.
Me: "okay, you can keep the boot-blades."
|
In my Savage Tide game there is a guy playing a halfling warlock who got grappled by Olangru(sp?) the ape demon and teleport into another room to be "taken.....monkey-style" to death, I kinda described it as a prisonlike beat down and the group laughed about "monkey prison lovin'". After being found and reincarnated as a halfling(!) he proceeded to play up his fear of all things simian and every single encounter afterward that had any monkeyish monsters seemed to always end up with him grappled, alone and beat up by the creatures. It's surprising how many encounters like this there are in Savage Tide.
Eventually they come up against the Two-headed Baboon-snake demon and after I get through describing the creature the warlock player looks at me and states in a deadpan stare "No. More. Monkeys. This one is way too big for me to take. What do they all tell their buddies about the cool lovin' of the halfling warlock!?!".
He ended up grappled and beat up but survived. Pride not intact.....
A campaign that had gone on for a long time and reached very high level. One of the characters, a dwarf, had basically claimed and founded his own small nation. I'm giving a description of the characters and mentioned that.
Three hours later in the middle of combat he suddenly shouts out "I'm the leader of a small dwarven nation?!"
Somehow it took three hours for what I said to sink into his head....
Female Paladin has just annouced that she is now engaged to the rogue/fighter in the party. The rogue/fighter originally joined the group by being hired by her to help out.
The Great: "The HELP? You're marrying the HELP?"
Some quotes from our Tuesday night Star Wars game. In and out-of-character. If you want to see these in context, check out the Praxeum of Master Thesom thread elsewhere in Campaign Journals.
Rhee: “That’s Mr Emperor Palpatine to you!” (following the outraged protests when he plonks down a Palpatine figure as his "totally in-appropriate character mini of the week. No prizes for guessing what colour his characters light sabre is going to be!).
Rhee: (after Jarred dismally fails to climb out of a perfectly functional turblofit) “Is this where Jarred makes sure nobody saw him and then presses the button instead?
Brian: (looking at Za`iins miniature perched precariously on top of a die-cast starship mini): Babe, if your out on the hull, whose flying the ship?”
During a fight with a booby-trapped droid:
Danshi: “Kill it, but avoid the photoreceptors!
Jarred: “Kill it? I can`t even hit where it used to be!”
Khitana “Catch me, Sweetie!” (as she tumbles over Jarred and into the droids square, nearly landing on Danshi in the process).
Danshi (to Khitana, as she is positioned tightly between Jarred and Danshi after the droid fight): Aha! I see you know your place!
Khitana: (dumps him onto his ass with a critical-hit leg sweep) Yup!
Jarred: “Hello Za`iin. We’re just cleaning up here. Khitana’s been mopping up with Danshi!”
Za`inn: Er, yeah. Listen. I got the Sith before they could escape, but tell Khitana she needs to do a little maintenance on the ship”
Khitana (yanks the commlink out of Jarreds hand): “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”
Za`inn “Er, I might be doing the dishes for a while, Khat! I`ll explain when I come and get you.”
Brian: (upon learning the ships computer has an initial attitude of unfriendly); Who are you? I don’t know you? Why are you trying to talk to me?”
DM: The door is locked.
Brian: That’s alright, we have great big Jedi lock picks! (cue light saber noises)
Geeves (The Praxeum's Protocol Droid): Treat any unannounced visitors as hostile, sir? Does that mean I should dispense with the ginger soufflés?”
DM: Midichlorians are banned!
Everyone else: YAAAAAY! WAHOOOO! HOOOORAYYY! Etc
Brian: You don’t love me enough to share your Pringles with me?
Caroline: They`re not mine.
Brian: You don’t even love me enough to share SOMEONE ELSE‘S Pringles with me?.
Caroline: Computer says Naaaaaaawww.
Jarred: Has anyone else ever noticed that Danshi only ever runs off to give Master Lo’Shem BAD news?
In a saturday home version of the living blackmore campaign.
DM- alright this things not that nasty(rather low AC)so you dont need much to hit it, just dont roll a 2.
Me- "roll", S!#t
Dm- what
Me- Nat 20
DM- (evil looks)
Me- Oh and I confirm.
DM-more evil looks, reverse psycology on dice?
Me- no they're doing that to me.
I do tend to do that though.
My friend said these in games of B5 ACtA.
"Captain the enemy has surrounded us on all sides, GOOD now we can't miss."
this one's from me.
"Uh captain the enemy seems to be scribing their initials in our hull. Ah da@#$^t Lt. bring me my brown pants."
We were just rolling up some new characters. My step daughter and I both had +4 on our bluff skill.
Me: My +4 bluff is better than your +4 bluff
Her: No it isn't
Me: [grabs a d20 and rolls a 14] Yes it is
Her: [grabs another d20 and rolls a 3] Yep, it is.
------------
My favorite is from the penny arcade D&D podcast:
"Would it help at all if I set the dwarf on fire? I'm just askin' "
"I don't want an elf poking me, they're contagious."
leading to....
"so you have been poked by alot of elves?"
Danshi: (To Jarred) Aha! I see my wisdom is beginning to rub off on you!
Khitani: Is THAT what you boys were doing in the shower?