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I wasn't really sure what to make of the d20 girls, hence why I posted it. They make a good show of trying to look like they "get it," but they don't really seem to actually get it. I just wanted to hear some opinions before I came out and openly demonized them. :P Side note - Sorry I've been MIA all over the forums. Some life stuff exploded in my face, so I wouldn't expect to see me around much for a little while. :(
Somewhat random (on topic, but not related specifically to what's being discussed at the moment)... Are you guys familiar with the d20 Girls Project? Their quarterly publication is free on DriveThruRPG right now. A friend of mine shot me the link to it. I haven't gotten a chance to really dig through it, but I figured I'd share and see what your feelings on this sort of thing are.
Big congrats guys! Keep the coffee (or caffinated beverage of choice) flowing to fight off fatigue and I can't wait to see those monsters!
What they don't tell you is that she's a Frenzied Berserker, the chain is actually her weapon, and he has the Fling Ally feat. ;)
Well, since we're having an image party... A friend of mine sent this to me earlier when we were discussing this topic.
Yeah, depending on when in the 80's that came out, I was probably not even born yet. So you guys are old. ;) Kidding. I totally bow to the experience of gamers who have been in this since the early days. I literally live less than an hour away from TSR's old HQ in Lake Geneva, WI, so I know people who have been into D&D since quite literally day one.
Okay... Finished the first page (I'm so behind D:). I'll try to get through some more tonight, but we'll see. I really like using this critique format, but it takes forrrrrrreeeeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeer. As always, feel free to PM me with any questions/concerns. Tabard of Cunning Tactics:
The Good: It’s hard to come up with new combat themed items that really pique my interest, but this one does. I think this is a neat concept. Your writing is pretty tight and clean. This is an area of combat that doesn’t get as much attention, so I think that’s a smart design choice. Things to work on: I think part of why defensive combat and granting bonuses to allies doesn’t get played with as much is that it’s hard to make it sexy. Your oomph factor might have gone up if you had the flanking stuff at the beginning, but I’m not sure if the end would feel tacked on then. As it stands, I’d kind of like to see the two abilities tied together a bit more tightly. I think it’s missing a little bit of the flash-bang-wow that judges are looking for. Overall: The writing and overall execution isn’t bad, but I think there are just a few small issues that got in the way of the “wow” factor. I would have liked to see a little more from this item.
Chalice of Communal Dweomer:
The Good: Tight writing, good template use. This was one of the more interesting takes on the chalice item. The duration trade off makes sense to me. This is definitely useful, so I think that’s a big part of what pushed it into the top 89. Things to work on: The name threw me a bit. I got where you were going, but I think initially it just created some different expectations from me. Your grammar is great, but personally I would have removed the em dash and the semi-colon and just made those phrases separate sentences. There’s nothing strictly wrong as written, but those long sentences packed with information can get confusing. That’s especially true when you’re explaining the mechanics of your item. I think the item needed a little more mojo to push it over the top. Overall: The concept isn’t bad, but I just feel like this one fell short on the “mojo” and bold design choices that the judges were really looking for.
Vest of Mongrelkind:
The Good: Good on you for cleaning up that sentence. It’s a small fix, but it helps a lot. Being able to catch it yourself is a good thing. In voting, this struck me as a pretty neat idea. The abilities are thematically tied together, so I felt like the core concept was pretty strong. . Things to work on: This is another item where, while I liked it, I kind of wanted more from it. In the end, it basically boils down to granting bonuses. The racial trait is cool, but it just doesn’t add enough “oomph” for me. I think it needs some other racially themed ability that’s new and exciting. There are a couple areas where I’d switch up your wording a little to make it a bit closer to Paizo’s standards (like the bit about wearing it for 24 hours and taking it off to get a new trait). Overall: You have some good instincts and you made an item that’s both useful and fun, but I feel like this really needed something totally new and exciting to give it that edge.
Vest of Mongrelkind:
The Good: Good on you for cleaning up that sentence. It’s a small fix, but it helps a lot. Being able to catch it yourself is a good thing. In voting, this struck me as a pretty neat idea. The abilities are thematically tied together, so I felt like the core concept was pretty strong. Things to work on: This is another item where, while I liked it, I kind of wanted more from it. In the end, it basically boils down to granting bonuses. The racial trait is cool, but it just doesn’t add enough “oomph” for me. I think it needs some other racially themed ability that’s new and exciting. There are a couple areas where I’d switch up your wording a little to make it a bit closer to Paizo’s standards (like the bit about wearing it for 24 hours and taking it off to get a new trait). Overall: You have some good instincts and you made an item that’s both useful and fun, but I feel like this really needed something totally new and exciting to give it that edge.
First Light:
The Good: I think you did a very good job with your theme. All of the abilities and effects jive and you have evocative descriptions, which is a great start. Your writing is pretty clear, for the most part, and the mechanics seem to hold water as well. Things to work on: I believe it was already mentioned, but I also drew the Phial of Galadriel connection. That wouldn’t be so bad, but there are a few other issues that I think may have cost you as well. This may be the only time I ever say this, but I think you went a little overboard on paragraphs. I’m not sure why “First light sheds light like a torch” is on its own line. That also feels like something that could have been added later rather than as a starting point. You buried your lead a bit. I feel like the recharge mechanic was smart, but the 1d4 rounds time seems…strange. I would have liked to see something longer. Overall: A tight theme, but I think you needed to lead with one of the items more awesome abilities to really make it pop. The similarity to something out of LotR may have hurt you as well.
Shadow Sentry:
The Good: I actually loved your concept. This is something I snagged during voting for later. I could think of applications for something like this beyond just camping. The darkness effect with the tripwire struck me as neat and original. Things to work on: I think a few things needed to be fleshed out a bit more. Your self-critiques bring up some good points. Your phrasing could be cleaned up a little to make it conform more to the general phrasing seen in other Paizo items. The illusory bit is neat, but I think it could have been expanded on a little. I think it might have been neat to consider some other situations an item like this could be useful and expand its abilities slightly based on that. Overall: I really liked the core idea here. I think it was maybe a little tame for RPGSS, but you’ve got some good instincts. I can’t wait to see what you bring to the table next year.
Tempest Regalia:
The Good: This was probably my favorite “regalia” item this year. Your writing is tight and easy to follow. It reads like something that could easily be found in a Paizo product. Your mechanics are great. I like the windstorm effect. Honesty, this is a really solid item. Things to work on: You may have fallen prey to the “items that augment/are augmented by other items” thing. The ioun stone bit also just feels really unnecessary to me here. I would have rather just seen it on a charges per day mechanic. It’s really a small thing, but I think if I were to use this in a game I would change that. Overall: I loved the item, your writing is great, but the ioun stone bit was a turn off.
Tablet of Heretical Lore:
The Good: Seeing as an item that plays with similar mechanics made the Top 32, I think it’s safe to say that the core concept here is pretty good. You had some good instincts to try to make an item like this as useful as possible, but still placing limitations on it. Things to work on: Items like this do tend to polarize people. Some people really like the utility, some people see it as belittling an important character creation choice. I thought your take on it was fairly well done, but the strict requirements made it feel more like a GM tool than something a player would get a lot of use out of. That may have been a turn-off for several people. Overall: You have smart instincts as far as keeping your items balanced, but try to avoid inadvertently making your item into a plot device.
Nethian Scroll Tube: The Good: The imagery is evocative. Your writing is pretty clean and your template use is good as well. I could see something like this being used in a game or appearing in a book of magic items easily. Things to work on: For me, I think the mechanic of the spell turning to ash was a little off-putting. It’s interesting. I don’t hate it. The fact that you can turn the ash into ink works. I just felt like it was making additional work by causing the player and/or the GM to keep track of what is or isn’t in the scroll tube. Beyond that, I just don’t think this had enough pizazz to make it stand out from the other scroll tubes and related items this year. Overall: Your writing is good, but for me this fell into the category of “interesting, but not necessarily Superstar.” Next year, swing for the fences.
I can't wait for the reveal. I was having a lot of trouble pulling together an archetype in case I made the cut, but I had a paladin and a magus archetype in the works. I'm curious how similar the couple that will be representing those classes will be to the ideas I was playing with.
Just wanted to pop in and say I'm still planning on getting through all of these. I've just been swamped and haven't been able to get into the right mindset to provide good feedback. Hoping to get more up tonight, though. Sorry to everyone still waiting! Also thanks for all the feedback I've gotten so far and sorry I haven't responded previously.
I always liked Imrijika because I thought she looked like Carmen Sandiego. ...But deadlier. ...And greener. <<; I just want to to take a moment and say that with my earlier posts I wasn't trying to make it sound like I'm encouraging sexism, over sexualization, or unhealthy escapist behavior. I think we can all agree that if someone is displaying unhealthy coping methods or is being a jerk at the table, they need to knock it off. The point I was trying to make is that what one person might find exploitative, another person might find inspiring. Regardless of gender. Seoni got brought up, for example. One girl might find her over-sexualized while another might think she's beautiful and want to play a character like that. I have had a couple of female friends page through my gaming books, thinking it's all about pwning doodz with big weapons only to be like "...Wait, I can be the Femme Fatale business woman in the pencil skirt and the Louie Vuitton heels?" Every Pathfinder iconic strikes me as strong and capable. Yeah, maybe Seelah's armor conforms to her boobs, but she's standing strong and confident and she looks like a warrior with a purpose. I think there is something to be said for playing the non-traditional or the somehow distasteful character, but I don't know many people who picked that archetype for their first character. That's more why I was making my point, because I think we're talking about how to get more women involved. Every gaming book has to assume that it is simultaneously someone's first exposure to the material and their four-hundredth exposure to the material. As the unofficial newbie-helper in our group, most of the first characters I've helped build fall into the following categories: 1.) A fantasy themed or "idealized" version of themselves (i.e. a guy in the army builds a super soldier or a girl who's into chemistry builds a mad scientist) 2.) A concept lifted from a TV show/book/movie (i.e. Can I make a character kinda like Rogue from X-Men?) 3.) Whatever looked the coolest after paging through the books and looking at the pictures (i.e. Oh, I want to be kinda like this one, but like... with a horse for an animal... not a wolf. ...Can I do that?) Basically, they tend to not be the really off the beaten path, non traditional character that was being discussed. There are always exceptions. I ran a V:TM play by post game a while ago and one of my friends, after looking through the book, came up to me and said (and this is a quote) "I've decided my first character is going to be a Nosferatu. I want to be insanely intelligent, hideously ugly, and naked." All I was really trying to say, to put it in the context of Firefly, was that characters like Zoe and Kaylee should be a clear and prominant option, and so should Inara. It takes all types. But I really can't think of a single gaming book that I've looked through recently where I didn't feel like I had all those options. Feel free to point me towards any recent works that might fall into that category. I want to make a "Give The World a Coke" style add with all the different characters that have come out of my group... So Wise Old Woman and Beefcake and Bishonen and Cat Girl and Courtesan and Awkward Computer Hacker and Disfigured Avenger and Girl-Who-Wears-Accurate-Armor-And-Covers-Her-Lady-Bits can all hold hands...and so long as everyone involved feels respected and feels included and is having a good time, who cares?
From what I've always gathered, it's not that the sexualization of the female form is inherently offensive, but rather the ubiquity of the archetype and the lack of any clearly displayed alternatives. Agreed, but the point I'm trying to make is that some people take it upon themselves to "solve" this problem by immediately jumping on it and ripping it to shreds, or saying the solution is to just get rid of it. I don't believe that's happening here, but I've seen militant reactions that are hurtful (to both men and women) elsewhere before. It's like with sexy halloween costumes. Everything gets sex-ified and then the people who take offense and see it as anti-woman or something similar respond with slurs and hate... some of it directed at men, some of it directed at the women who participate in the whole thing. It's similar to the reason why a woman I know who chose to be a fulltime wife and mother sometimes feels looked down upon in a society that fought hard to make sure that women could choose to be whatever they wanted. I felt like it was worth presenting the other side of the argument because I feel like it doesn't get brought up as much. Were I playing many an older roleplaying game than Pathfinder, the artwork and tone of the rulebook would have established that my male player's lithe, handsome half-orc maestro sorcerer could have just as easily been a bookish wizard or a brutal barbarian, whereas my female player's sexy priestess of Calistria could have been a sexy wizard, or a sexy barbarian, or a sexy priestess of a deity of piety and chastity. Kinda like what I was saying with the halloween costumes. You can be a sexy nurse, or a sexy cop, or a sexy vampire, or a sexy nun... I think my point here is I don't see this particular issue still being as prevalent. Yeah, sure, maybe there are a lot of sexy and scantily clad girls around, but many of them are CAPABLE. They're shown as being active forces, not simply forces who are acted upon (like was brought up before with the art). Illustrations, like TV and movies, tend to suffer from the "everyone is prettier than in real life" thing. But I'm not seeing every pretty chick in a slave Leia costume chained to some dude's throne. I think part of this comes from the fact that I'm younger and wasn't as exposed to some of the older roleplaying games that keep getting brought up, as well as the fact that my gaming group is awesome, but I've never felt like since I'm a girl, I'm somehow limited to playing the "sexy ______." In fact, I usually play dudes. But even books that do lack in strong female characters have never made me feel alienated. Other things have, but not that. Again, my experiences. YMMV.
One point that hasn't been brought up here, that I'll just go ahead and throw out there is that despite the general feelings of us girls not wanting to be taken down to the level of "just meaningless visual sexy objects" ...women still buy products that focus on sexy ladies. I get that revealing armor is dangerous and stupid...and all the other points along those lines that have been mentioned. I was just recently giggling at a picture for an upcoming game that involved a female wearing what I can only describe as a battle thong and chest sling/strap. She was also wearing fur lined boots and a big furry cape-ish thing, which makes a certain amount of sense, because she was very obviously cold. Here's the thing, though. Most of my straight female friends would totally fight over who gets that mini at the table. Why? Because it's funny and whether we admit it or not, that imaginary lady made that battle thong look good. Strong and sexy doesn't have to be half-naked, but that doesn't mean it can't be either. If women weren't interested in buying that sort of thing, they wouldn't buy Cosmo and Vogue and watch Top Model and all of that. Even if you look at health and fitness magazines, a lot of them have cover images that are a mix of strong and sexy. Maybe those images aren't as patently ridiculous as a female fighter in sexy armor and butt-kicking heels, but from my experience there are quite a few women who like the idea of being the girl in the butt-kicking heels. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. As long as you have a healthy sense of self and self-worth, you can pretend to be whatever you want. (Or even if that's a little lacking, because the escapism, and there is an element of escapism and wish-fulfillment with role-playing, of gaming has sure helped me through some rough spots where I just needed to take a break and not be me for a couple hours.) I don't see it as any different than a guy playing a character with six-pack abs and a through-the-roof charisma. With women, though I think there's such a mix of strong opinions here that this subject gets really difficult. Full disclosure: I'm bi and I have a few female friends who are either bi, lesbian, or have a fluid sexual orientation. So that might skew my perspective and some of the perspectives I've seen, but even among my straight female gamer friends there's kind of a divide between the part, whether it's culturally indoctrinated or not, that wants to be seen as sexy and desirable and the part that's indignant over being seen as something that is only sexy and desirable and serves no other purpose. Admitting that maybe you want to be the girl who wears sexy armor causes shame, too, because suddenly you're just as bad as everyone else and a part of the problem. That's why female cosplayers get so much grief from both sexes. These are complex issues that speak to deep-seated cultural and gender identity issues. I don't think there are any easy answers, but I think the first step is being completely honest and understanding lots of different perspectives. So just wanted to throw in my two cp. because it seems like this aspect of things hasn't been discussed.
Oh, and the Paper Messenger. Already mentioned a lot, but quite sincerely the only message-type item that made me sit up and do that slow "oh yeah" nod before upvoting. I'm very glad you liked it. I hope you'll consider telling me what you liked and what you think I could have done better in the critique thread (or privately, if you're more comfortable). :)
First off, hats off to you, you crazy reviewing machine. ;) Seriously. Second off, thanks for taking the time to review my paper messenger. I appreciate it. While I tried to do as much research as possible to make sure I wasn't copying an existing idea (as there was a book of oragami figures in...I want to say the first or second year of RPGSS that made it to the Top 32? But it was definitely different), I wasn't aware of the oragami familiar. Any similarities there can be chalked up to parallel design (and a failing in my personal research before the competition). Again, thanks a lot! I hope to apply what I've learned this year to a stronger concept next year.
Holy cannoli… I got dinner and then promptly passed out. I’m regretting it now. I’ve got a LOT of catching up to do. Siegebreaker Cymbals:
The Good: I like that this is an item with a Perform check involved that doesn’t just emulate a bardic music ability. It’s not a bard in a can. Another character (like a social rogue, perhaps) could use them, but a bard can get more mileage. As someone who plays a lot of those sorts of characters, I thought this was neat idea, because it gives them something to do in a situation where they’re notoriously useless. Things to work on: The first thing that kind of stuck out to me is that, if they only work in pairs, pricing gets wonky when you have to buy them one at a time. I also would round the prices to a more even number, but that’s a nitpick. The name tripped me up a bit, too. My biggest issue is that it becomes useful only in select situations. The party has to be prepared for one type of DR, but not another. I suppose that happens on occasion, but if I’m worried about it, I think there are cheaper ways to overcome DR for one fight. Some of the mechanics of how the vibration functions in battle (like the bit about weapons no longer automatically overcoming certain DRs) were confusing at first read through. Overall:I think there’s definitely a place for something like this in a game, but I think it needs some tweaking to make it useful in a broader range of circumstances to hit “Superstar” level.
Amulet of the Grasping Soul:
The Good: Thematically, this is pretty tight. I can definitely see wanting this in an undead heavy game. The duality aspect is interesting. Things to work on: I believe the templating issues were already mentioned. I almost feel like this should be two different items, as I really feel like the instances where you would need to use it as a physical creature, and then later as an incorporeal creature are slim to none. There’s some grammar issues that tripped me up reading this, so try running your work through the polisher one more time before submitting. I would change the powers up a bit, and then making the pricing better reflect that. Overall: A neat idea, but I think it lacked some mass appeal. Make sure you really go over your work with a fine tooth comb for grammar errors, because the voting public can be vicious about that sort of thing.
Candle of Distant Assurance:
The Good: This is a good, cheap item. I immediately saw this sort of item sitting in the window of a family’s house, spouse and kids checking it periodically and smiling to know that mommy or daddy is still safe. I could also see a while mess of them in a large temple, keeping track of all of the clerics and paladins from the temple who are away. This could also be useful in play, though, if the party is split or someone is doing a scouting mission. I mean, ideally you’d want to run to the rescue before said party member is dying, but none the less. For the price, I can see a lot of ways creative adventurers could use this to keep tabs on someone. It’s well written and well thought out. Things to work on: I think it’s pretty clear that people enjoyed this item, but it might have been a little to fluff based for some and/or for the judges. Just speculation on my part, but while it’s incredibly useful and I’m totally stealing it for my game, it does maybe lack the flash-bang-wow or added oomph that is needed for RPGSS. It is a bit of a SIAC, like you mentioned in your notes. I actually would like to see a version that indicates a few more things. Maybe the flame shrinks when the target is injured? I could see that opening up some more play options. Overall: You definitely have skills. It’s a clean item, it’s got appeal, it’s useful. You obviously have an understanding of how to craft an item. Next year, you’ll really have to apply those skills to an idea with a little bit more fireworks.
Fiddle of the Dance:
The Good: I play the sort of character who would use this, so the idea intrigued me. The idea of allowing a bard type character to enhance movement is interesting. Many of the items I see like this are meant to be used on enemies and trip them up by forcing them to dance, so this was an interesting change of pace. Things to work on: This is a huge nitpick, but commas in your prices. That drives me batty. That aside, I don’t know if I like that it only allows people to move while being played. I feel like that limits the usefulness. If someone needs to move past something slippery to attack, they’re possibly in trouble as they can get right up to the target, but not attack until the player stops playing. I think people are kind of tired of bard instruments, too. Overall: I like the core concept here, but I think you may have gotten lost amongst the bardic instruments this year. Try to think of as many situations that your item might get used in, and then take that into account.
Handkerchief of the Scoured Visage:
The Good: I wasn’t sure what to expect when I read the title, but the idea here is kind of neat. I can think of a lot of ways I could use something like this in a game. You got most of the template right, so that helps. Things to work on: Your first sentence, for one. It kind of twists back around on itself and becomes repetitive. I kind of expected this to allow you to transfer the face to yourself or someone else, but I’m not sure whether that would make the item better or worse. I think you suffer slightly from the wall of text syndrome. Paragraphs would have been helpful. I was also unclear at first if a living target suffocated or died or whatever when their face was transferred to the handkerchief. I think that could have been made more clear from the get go. Some of your other wording (like the bit about things that end the effect) is a little clunky. It also feels a little weird paying that much for a grubby scrap of cloth. Even a magical one. Overall: The concept is kind of neat, but I think it lacks some polish and there are a couple of flaws in execution. Consider ways to elevate your idea from “neat” to “OMG COOL” for next year, as well.
Intellectual’s Clay Pipe:
The Good: Okay, okay… …I actually really liked this item. Yeah, it was boring, but I liked the flavor. It’s going into one of my games. I read it, and immediately thought of a friend of mine, so kudos for making a simple item that I liked. Things to work on: I think this has all already been hit on, by yourself or someone else, so I’ll be brief. I liked it, but I can see why most people wouldn’t. It lacks the flash-bang-wow. Lead with your selling point. Overall: You have talent. This could definitely appear in a book of magic items. It’s got charm. Apply that to a concept that’s “Swing For The Fences” worthy and I think you’ll really be a contender.
Wings, Resplendent Battle:
The Good: This is a neat take on the “wing” item. You have a sense of purpose and theme to your writing that carries through. You follow the template, and your execution is easy to follow. Seriously, huge props for presenting a lot of information clearly. Things to work on: This isn’t necessarily a point to critique on, but when I saw wings, I expected there to be flying involved. I don’t know if I’m necessarily disappointed that you didn’t deliver on that expectation, but I think it’s worth mentioning as some people might have been. This felt a little SAK-y to me. I can see how people may have felt that choosing from a list of bonuses isn’t quite “Superstar.” I’m kind of torn, too, because this is a great item for certain types of characters, so I kind of want to see it in a game. …I never really play “Good for the Good God!” types, so I would never actually use it, though. If I had the right PC for it, I could see using this as a GM, though. Overall: You know what you’re doing. Your writing is tight and you have language that is evocative without being boring fluff. Maybe go with something less niche next year and really pull out all the stops. I think you have the skills for it.
Time’s Tide Pendant We actually already spoke, and I told you my thoughts, so I think I’m going to skip you here for now (sorry, there are just a lot of reviews to do). Nothing new has come to mind that hasn’t already been brought up by someone else, but if you want to talk more about it, drop me a line. Orator’s Torc:
The Good: Again, this is subjective, but I play the charismatic types a lot, so I can see myself wanting this as a player. You play with some interesting ideas (like increasing the range for auditory abilities), so I think that’s a good instinct as a designer. Things to work on: You have some minor templating flaws, but that’s nitpicky. Someone may have already mentioned it, but skills should be capitalized. I’m not sure how I feel about the bonus increasing with the size of the crowd. It struck me as being a little to close to a microphone for my taste. I think it needed something super-awesome to elevate it beyond that. It’s a utility item, but it’s missing some mojo to take it up to Superstar. Overall: I feel like you have good instincts, but you need to apply them to something with a bit more mojo for RPGSS. Great for a book of magic items, but it didn’t quite wow me enough to be “Superstar”.
Orb of Aggrivation:
The Good: Neat idea for a rogue item. I like the visual. The idea is something I could see players wanting. Things to work on: First of all, I would have put the d6 roll on a table or even just put them on their own lines as a list. In the wall o’ text format, it’s confusing. I kind of feel like it does too much. I feel like it should have a range give and/or be a ranged touch attack. The fact that there’s no fail chance at that price makes it a little over powered in my book, especially as no save listed for any of the conditions it bestows. Overall: The concept has potential, but I think there are enough flaws in execution to cost it votes.
Elixir of Last Will:
The Good: The concept is kinda nifty. I like the fluff feeling of being able to aid an ally, if only in spirit. Things to work on: It just didn’t wow me. The wall o’ text needs some paragraphs. This is a personal thing, but while the concept is interesting, I would never actually use this. I like simple, utilitarian items, but I just don’t know how often this would come into play. I’d always be waffling like “but how do I know if I’m going to almost die today…” If it were a drop in a video game, I’d end up with like 12 of them at the end of the game because I was just never sure when to use them, if that makes sense. Overall: I don’t think I’m the target audience here, so I may be biased, but I think this idea needs a lot of polish to really wow me. Maybe the more cinematic ghost-like version would have helped. If done right, it might have.
Shroud of Certain Return:
The Good: Good utilitarian item. This obviously appealed to voters, so congrats on that. I think you tackled the conundrum of dealing with the uncertainty of reincarnation well. It obviously fits a niche in the game. Your writing is clear and easy to follow. Things to work on: I think maybe it was just too utilitarian. The forced reincarnation grand hex is an interesting twist , and I can see some interesting play options coming from this. While I thought this was interesting, it didn’t wow me enough to hit me as Superstar, so that might have been why it wasn’t favored as strongly by the judges. Overall: Your writing is tight, but I think you need a more wow-me concept for next year.
Findeladlara’s Brush:
The Good: This had a certain charm for me. I liked it on a personal level. The revision is tighter, and I liked the removal of the check. Things to work on: It struck me as a little too close to the marvelous pigments for me. Minor gripe, but include commas in your price. Little things like that are jarring to me. Same for the slot “slotless” bit. Overall: I like the item, but I think it needed more oomph. The similarity to an already existing item hurt it for me, too.
Hunter’s Geas:
The Good: I feel like I’m saying this a lot, but neat concept. I like the overall idea and the mechanics of linking it to a specific creature. Things to work on: I keep getting loss in your wall o’ text, so it was hard for me to keep track of what was going on here. It required multiple reads for me to understand everything. I was kind of hoping for a really neat capstone ability, but it kind of ended up just feeling like a list of bonuses. The flanking thing could have gone there, but the mechanics of how that actually would work confused me. I think it needs something more than that to really ramp up the wow-me factor. Overall: I think if it was a bit cleaner in the execution and maybe had a more kick-*** capstone ability, it’d be better.
Garter of Hidden Fortune:
The Good: Again, neat concept. I can see games where characters would want something like this while trying to sneak out a powerful item or recover something as part of the plot of a game. Things to work on: I wasn’t sure how I felt about the garter aspect, with ribbons and lace, etc. Not every character is going to be okay carrying that or having it magically teleported to them. I get that it’s “willing creatures” but the party should all be willing to work together with something like this. The message dynamic confused me. I kind of feel like it’s trying to do too much. Why is it so hard to spot if it’s got gems, lace, and ribbons on it? I would have just made it a difficult Perception check, rather than getting percentages involved. It’s a bit hard to follow everything that’s going on here. Overall: Work on your execution. I think next time you need a tighter theme.
Ointment of Last Sight:
The Good: Interesting concept and your overall execution is pretty clean. I liked this item. It’s got an Oracle flavor. As one use items go, I think this could see some interesting in game use. Things to work on: This struck me as perhaps a little too much of a “plot item” or as something that could make it a pain for the GM. If the PCs decide to use it on something that I didn’t plan that far for, I’m on the spot to make something up that they might hold onto and follow up on. At the same time, I can see this being a great GM tool for steering wayward PCs back in the right direction. The repeated “sees” in quotations was a little jarring for me, too. Overall: I liked it and would consider keeping it, but it may have fallen into the plot item/pain for a GM trap.
Sorry some of these are short. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Almost done with page one, but I need a break. My brain is fried and it's almost 1:00 here and I haven't had breakfast/lunch yet because I've been writing since I woke up. I will get through everyone's, but it's going to take a while. :( Apologies in advance.
Okay, first five are done, now I need to eat something. These are taking a while, but I'm trying to be thorough. I don't have time to read everyone's comments on every item right now, so I apologize if I'm repetetive. Also, feel free to PM me if you have any comments or would like to discuss your item more. Chelish Silver-Tongued Devil:
The Good: I really like the core concept. I play the bard/rogue/tricksy charismatic sort of character, so I can see using something like this. It made me think it could fit in a spy or socio-political themed adventure quite well. The “kiss of death” idea holds some intrigue to me as well. Things to work on: I would have liked to see a little bit more explaining how it gives the bonuses to Diplomacy. I would take that fluff over the Erinyes origin bit. It doesn’t explain if it allows people to understand you if they speak another language, or if your voice is just melodic enough that they start to like the sound of your intelligible babble. The kiss of death bit could have been cleaned up a bit to make it more nifty and less potentially gross. It’s a fine line to walk. I think the rules around removing the substance need to be cleaned up a bit, but I’m not quite sure if I want a lower DC or just an additional removal method other than dispel magic (which doesn’t really seem to fit). Overall: I think the concept has a lot of potential, though it needs some polish. Your writing is clean, for the most part, but the mechanics could use a little extra polish. I’d love to see a cleaned up version, though. Gentleman’s Ensnaring Cane:
The Good: I like the idea of having a cane, tapping it on the ground as if to get people’s attention, and then using it to grapple people with force. It strikes me as something cool for a bard, rogue, or other charismatic type character to have. Those characters rarely get to do stuthis ff like that, so I think designing something to fit that is neat. I could also see using it to create a cinematic sort of scene with an NPC as a GM. Things to work on: The opening description makes the item undesirable. I don’t really want to touch it, much less hold onto it for long periods. I had to read the mechanics several times to understand exactly what was going on. The writing there could be tighter. I would maybe reduce the number of targets (and possible the size category as well) and clean up the description. I would also just say it’s usable X times per day, rather than mess with the imp on top disappearing and all of that. It’s nice fluff, but it starts to get confusing. Overall: I think the idea is really intriguing, but the execution could be a little better. I’d love to see a reworked version. Ghoulslayer Gloves:
The Good: I don’t remember seeing this in voting, but I actually really like them. The writing is clean and tight. The concept itself smacks of “…Why don’t I already have something like this?” You’ve clearly taken the time to make your language and style sound professional, so it really reads like it could be out of a Paizo product. As you mentioned in another thread, fluff-wise, healers are labeled as being scourges of the undead, why not make an item that caters to that? Things to work on: It needs a little more mojo. I think the descriptive language could be a little more evocative. It seems underpriced, as well. Either that or slightly overpowered. I don’t hate the idea of negating the save, but it might be a little too powerful as written. Honestly, I’d maybe up the price a little and swing for the fences with the mechanics. Overall: It’s a good item. Maybe a little lacking in the mojo that makes a “Superstar” item. Ethos Swarm Charm:
The Good: Swarms are notoriously a pain, so allowing a player to tap into that, personally, is interesting. I can think of out of combat applications as well. The description is interesting. The writing is tight and pretty easy to follow, which is a huge point in your favor. Things to work on: The item is loooooong. Not that being long is always a bad thing, but the alignment breakdown is a little intimidating and makes me want to just skim right over it. I think in the voting format we have, a lot of people may have gotten TL;DR syndrome. I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of varying swarms based on alignment, especially when all nine alignments are in play. Maybe picking an axis to work with would be better, or sticking to something more like what you did with the second half. Or maybe being able to pick from a list. Especially for the “breaking it” mechanic. If I’m good or lawful and I want to spend the item to become a more powerful swarm, I better hope I’m near water. Overall: Your writing is tight. It’s easy to follow. The concept needs some tweaking, I think, to really become something players will clamor for. Porcine Pendant: The Good: Okay, I’ll admit, I found it amusing. I liked it. The imagery was evocative. It’s well written, the mechanics are pretty tight. I can see uses for it in game. It’s fun, and it is something I can see certain types of players really getting a kick out of. Things to work on: …I didn’t want to like it. My first question was “…But why a pig?” I was afraid it was going to be a gag item at first. There are a couple of small formatting snags. Should be “faint illusion and transmutation” and the skill craft jewelry should have a number of ranks associated with it. The personality of this item won me over, but I think maybe it needs something a little less whimsical, or at least more kick-*** to kick it up one more notch. Overall: I could see throwing it into a game with certain types of players, but I think maybe it was a little too whimsical for RPGSS.
Okay... I'm going to go ahead and post up my own item, just to get it out there, then I'm going back to the top to offer critiques on as many items as I can get through tonight. Paper Messenger
A paper messenger is a single use item. It can be recalled from a task at any time. Once the task is completed, the figure is recalled, or it travels out of range, the magic dissipates leaving an ordinary paper figure behind. Paper messengers are fine objects and have the ability to bend or lie flat to squeeze under doors or through narrow cracks. They have a fly speed of 60 ft. with good maneuverability. They should be treated as being made of ordinary paper, unless fortified by other means. It is possible, albeit difficult, to spot and intercept a paper messenger mid-flight. If the figure becomes wet, it is unusable until dry. Crumpling the figure has no ill effects, but if it becomes ripped or torn it loses all magical properties.
Anthony, you really are a saint. I'm hoping to participate in the Blazing 9 (or similar) thread, barring any unforseen snags, so this would be really fantastic. :)
Glad to hear you're carrying on. The Template Fu reviews have been really great to read. Without fail, I feel like I learned something or at least saw something in a new light after reading them. I know if my item was in the Top 32, I'd just be thrilled someone took the time to give as much feedback as you do. Godspeed, sir!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Wolfgang. Like so many things, it really seems to boil down to "simple, but not easy." And thanks for the kudos! Andrew - Sorry you didn't make the list. I really hope to see you in the critique thread, though. I'm curious what your item was! (Sorry if you already mentioned it somewhere and I missed it.) Orcus - I'll probably be seeing you in the 9 Blazing Months thread, or whatever similar thing happens this year. We can help each other.
Thanks for taking the time to give me a well thought out response. :) I definitely know I have a lot to learn, but like you said, I'm trying to understand and grapple with these sorts of issues as much as I can. After looking over everything, it's much clearer to me why the Top 32 were chosen, though it's still hard for me to put my finger on the exact reasons or fully explain them. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm definitely just on cloud nine over the fact that people liked my item, even if it ultimately wasn't Superstar. Even a little. As a first time submitter, just getting my item far enough for serious consideration feels like a mammoth achievement.
This explains, I think, why voters tend to like and vote in walkie-talkie items or items that are really useful to a player while the judges never really seem to advance those kinds of items. Was that a dig at me, Clark? Was it? ;) Kidding, kidding! Seriously, though, I agree with what you're saying. I know when I was voting I tried to look I think the part that's confusing (for me) is that it's hard to find that line between where judges say "Players would totally want this, and I see the potential in this designer" vs. "I can see why players would want this, and it's not a bad item, but I think we have better choices avalible." I think the "sufficiently awesome" bit also trips people up. Voters and judges agree that SIAC items are bad, BUT it seems like at least one gets in every year. I saw a few items that maybe tread close to that line or otherwise come off as unoriginal/overdone in their very core concept, but they were presented in a neat way that made me like them anyway. Is there any sort of litmus test for this on the judging end, or is it just gut feelings (or, more probably, honed intuition)?
Did anyone see the Nethian Scrolltube? It's really bothering me that among two marathon voters (myself and Epic Meepo) it was seen once. I saw it, too. I'm positive... but I can't remember if I saw it post-cull.
Fantastic and thank you so much for taking the time to post this! Since I didn't take great notes, this is helping jog my memory on items I know I liked.
I saw this one a handful of times as well, and I remember voting for it more than once. :) I really hope you post it in the critique thread as I'd love to give you feedback on it. I'd need to see it again, though (I didn't really take much for notes either). Also, thanks for mentioning my item. ;)
Echoing what's been said, I think the most important thing to take away here is two-fold. First of all, what did these items do well? Second, what did the items that made the Top 32 do to stand apart? If you didn't make it to the unofficial "top 89" I still really hope you post your item in the critique thread. There are several items I quite liked, but maybe they needed a tweak or two, and I really would love to give feedback. And, if you did make the list, I hope you'll do the same so we can continue to parse out what set the items apart in the eyes of the judges. Full Disclosure:
My item apparently made the top 89. I'm... ...kinda floored. But, regardless, what I'm taking away from this is that I had a good item, but I can do better. Whether the judges all dismissed it immediately or kinda liked it, but ultimately passed it over doesn't matter nearly as much as their reasons for doing so (which I hope to learn in the critique thread). Then I'll know for next year what strengths I need to bring back next time, vs. what has room for improvement. As always, Clark, thanks for posting this and just generally being awesome.
Kris, I know several people were saving copies of all of the items they came across. If you ask around, you will very likely be able to find someone with a copy. No promises, but you can try. :)
There is a LOT I would love to say on this subject. ...I just helped a friend of mine with a project about this very issue for a Women's Studies class. ...However...I don't know if this is really the time or the place. I love that we can talk about this and that people want to start a dialogue, but I feel like we're getting rather off topic. I also don't want to steal any thunder from the Top 32. These conversations need to happen, but we're touching on issues that reach far beyond the scope of RPGSS. Though, as far as RPGSS is concerned, there is one thing I'm trying to figure out. Almost all of my friends are gamers, and close to half (or possibly even over half, I'd have to count) of those friends are female. Now, level of interest runs the gamut, but everyone is at least a part of the hobby. As far as I know, I'm the only girl who's seriously taken up any game design projects. Even a girlfriend of mine who's been gaming as long as, if not longer, than most of the guys I know never discusses game design. She's more into other systems than Pathfinder/DnD, but I don't remember her ever mentioning any homebrew stuff. I actually don't think she's ever run a game. Another friend of mine who's newer to the hobby is about to run her first game, so maybe she'll get more into design because of that. ...In contrast, most of my guy friends have tinkered with design somewhat. Whether it's building a custom setting, or even just tweaking and reskinning items and NPCs to fit a different theme, they pretty much all do it. Why is that? Because I think that's part of why we don't have more females submitting to RPGSS.
Congratulations on making the Top 32! I agree with what everyone's been saying about the "cinematic" feel here. With the right DM, I could see this leading to some really cool moments in game. The sort we all like to talk about for years after the game is over. My concern, like people have mentioned, is the potential for abuse. It's a fine line to walk... You want to give players the opportunity for an Epic Win and to outsmart the GM without introducing game breaking mechanics. I don't think this quite went there, but it could have. Good luck next round and I can't wait to see what you submit!
Congrats on making the Top 32! This is another item I remember from voting and I'm not surprised to see it made the cut. Admittedly, I had a moment after I started reading where I felt like it was going to hate it because it's so easy to do something like this badly. I was definitely impressed overall. I think I agree with what SKR said about increasing the penalty from -2 to -4. That seems a bit more consistant with mechanics I've seen elsewhere, but that's a pretty minor gripe. I can definitely see the appeal of having this in a game, so way to bring the cool factor. I can't wait to see what you do next round. Good luck!
Congrats on making the Top 32! The thing that intrigued me about this item is that it allows for some interesting tactics and *gasp* trickery in a mounted combat situation. Mounts aren't an area of the game that I usually explore in great depth, but I kind of like the idea of being able to catch someone by surprise while riding a horse. The writing needs a few more passes through the polisher, but I think if you bring another great idea to the next round and hone your editing skills or have a friend you trust help you edit you're going to blow people out of the water. Good luck!
Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I was excited to see a rogue item I found pretty neat. I haven't played in many games where a GM has nailed me for a lock making noise, but I can think of tons of situations where something like this could be useful. Like you, I'm all about useful and coming up with new and interesting or unexpected ways to use an item. I don't know why, but the example tripped me up a bit. It felt a little clunky, but that's really a minor gripe. Again, congrats on making it to the Top 32 and I can't wait to see what you bring to the next round!
I definitely don't think there's any sort of bias at work and thanks for doing the breakdown, Mark! It was really cool to see. Compartmentalizing this for easier reading: Female Gamers:
I just think the whole female gamer thing is on everyone's mind after that whole fake gamer girl flameout that got a lot of press. I also think it's kind of ironic that after SKR posted his "I hope more female gamers submit and make it into the Top 32!" thread, we ended up with exactly zero females in the running this year.
I think Paizo does a better job really taking into account the female gaming community without pandering than most other companies out there. If you're a female looking for inspiration, look no further. Female CEO, and the first winner was also female. Jeff:
And Jeff, speaking as a girl with a pretty awesome dad, I think the fact that you're emotionally invested in her success is the biggest thing. I wouldn't be sitting here writing this if not for my own dad. When my mom took away my first comic book and gave it to my brother because "girls don't read comic books" or said that my fantastical tales about fantasy were weird and I should write something "normal" my dad told me my stories were good and that they reminded him of the first time he picked up a copy of The Hobbit. He's not a gamer, and I wouldn't even call him a geek, but he supported that part of me. He pushed me to keep taking risks and to run headlong at being a writer if I wanted it enough. Not to say my mother wasn't encouraging, she just had different tastes and values and worried about what her awkward little girl would grow up into. People's Choice Award:
As far as a "People's Choice Award" ...I'm with SKR on this one guys. Sorry. To me, the best consolation prize for those of us not in the Top 32 this year is the fact that there's a Critique My Item thread. They don't have to even do that, and the judges and past winners certainly don't need to pop in and comment on the items. ...But they do. That's because they care about the community and want to foster design talent. But if you're serious about this sort of thing, you're going to find out quickly that there's no prize for "almost" in this (or any other industry that I can think of). Speaking as a writer, you're lucky if a rejection letter that you get is more than a form letter from most places. I mean, one time I got a form rejection letter where they didn't even bother to populate the form, so it was literally "We regret to inform you that your INSERT TITLE didn't meet our criteria..."
The time voting obviously wasn't wasted and if you're serious about this, use the tools that you have avalible to improve. If you're sad that a personal favorite didn't get chosen, try to find it in the criique thread. Share why you liked it and try to see if you can find some reasons why said item didn't make the cut. That's the biggest way you can help an aspiring designer that you liked. And you'll learn in the process as well. Cobra-Hood Cloak: I had a similar thought about this one, which is why I didn't like it as much in voting. I can see from the judge's comments what they were thinking, but I agree that my first thought was definitely the panel discussion after reading it.
Pretty sure I saw the vest of mongrelkind on my last day voting, so I'm about 95% sure you made it through the cull.
Coridan, you had the skein helm? I almost forgot about that one (no notes makes for me being forgetful) but I voted for it almost every time I saw it. I quite liked it. I hope you post it in the critique thread, as I'd love to say more. ...I feel like the faerie boots of fancy footwork is what I'm thinking of. They were one of my favorites, especially because I love playing the sort of characters who would use something like that.
Done! Finally, I get to justify my obsessively saving every item i saw! Hoarder. ;) I'm going to take way better notes next year. I voted from too many different places to effectively keep track this year and of the few that I was saving, most got eaten in a computer crash. I quite liked all of the winter-themed items that have been mentioned. I liked the winter's clutch, or blizzard bag as I kept calling it in my head. I really liked the stolen tears of the winter witch, too. I kept coming back to the witchfrost heart, though. I saw it several times and I just really loved it. I really loved the softening powder. The bit about the jar wiggling until the powder was gone was nice. I'm going to be keeping that one for later use. The lute of enveloping was neat. I feel like there was a different set of boots that had to do with dancing that I liked, but maybe I'm just remembering the boots of the caper incorrectly. ...This is why I need to take notes.
Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I think this item does have a lot of good things going for it, but I will admit it wasn't my immediate favorite. It grew on me more after I saw it multiple times in voting, but the similarity to Pirates of the Caribbean did immediately strike me. That said, it has some differences. I'm also not usually a fan of the "item that uses other items" thing, but I liked your take on it better than most of the others I saw. I do have a soft spot for sea-faring adventures, so I might work a modified version of this into a future game. I can't wait to see what you bring to the next round. Good luck!
I'm with Correlon. When the wheel of fortune turns, you're up for some awesome. Maybe that means next year this time will be fantastic for you? I hope so. Still, hang in there. Being sick sucks and I'm really sorry to hear about Felix. :(
Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I didn't see these often in voting, but i know I saw them a couple times. I'm also in the camp of "writing is evocative, mechanics could use a little polish." I really liked the image and, while it's easy to mess up a RAWR, EVIL! themed item and make it feel cliche, this still struck me as neat. I think you found a good balancing point with that. I hope you bring that same quality to the next round and I look forward to seeing your submission. Good luck!
Yet another item I didn't see during voting. Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I was a little confused at first when I read it...something tripped my brain up and I wasn't quite following you, but looking back on it I think it was more that I need another cup of coffee than anything wrong with the writing. The thing I really adore here is that it has a versatility to it, allowing it to be used effectively by PCs and GMs in different situations. I'm also one of the ones who kind of likes the idea of a DM using one to trip up a healer. Heck, I've even played in games where we did a lot of group vs. group combats, so using this as a PC to trip up a healer in an opposing group could be a lot of fun. Price might be a little off, but it's close enough that I'm not going to ding you for it. Overall, tight theme and novel idea. I like it. Can't wait to see what you bring to the table next round! Good luck!
Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I'm not surprised to see these here, so I think that in and of itself says a lot. When I first saw them, I'll admit, I got to the "stomping boots making shockwave" bit, and while I liked it, I didn't think it was the most novel idea I'd ever seen...but as I kept reading I started to like it more and more. Clearly a lot of thought went into these and it shows. You took a core concept that was neat, but maybe not totally "Wow" and elevated it to something I could see myself really wanting in a game. ...And I usually play bards and rogues. ;) Construction requirements could maybe use some tweaking, but overall I'm really impressed. I can't wait to see what you do with the archetype challenge! Good luck!
Congrats on making it to the Top 32! I'm really stunned because I don't remember seeing this item during voting...but reading it, it does sort of ring a bell like maybe I saw it really early on and then not again? ...Regardless, I'm quite fond of it. I agree that it really ramps up the coolness factor. To me, it really feels like an item that's as useful as the player using it is creative. If I find this item or buy it for a character, I'm going to come up with as many ways I can take advantage of it as possible. But I'm something of an item hoarder, and I love finding as many uses as possible for things, so I that's where I'm coming from. Good luck next round! I hope you bring the same coolness factor to the table with your archetype. :)
Congrats Standback/Ziv! You were another one I was really pulling for because you've been such a great presence on the forum and I know you've been at this a while. It's really great to see, especially as a newbie. As for the item, I don't actually think I saw this during voting. I agree with Clark that this isn't an easy place to design for, but you took a risk and pulled it off. That takes guts and skills, which is really what being a Superstar is about. It did take me a couple read throughs to fully understand everything that was going on here, and there are a few clunky sentances, but I can definitely see the potential here. Congrats again and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you submit for the next round!
Thanks for the paper messenger love everyone. :) There's a lot I'd like to say, but I'm going to wait until Friday. I had been planning on waiting until then before mentioning it, but...since I didn't see it at all during voting I was so psyched to see someone mentioned it that I couldn't help but squee a little. And Cheapy, since it was my item, I can PM it to you when I get home tonight if you'd like. Or, if anyone saved it, you're more than welcome to do so. I also really liked the witchfrost heart. It had a creep factor, but I thought it was quite tasteful and it resonated with me for some reason. I saw the battlevoice token multiple times, and several after the cull, so you definitely made it at least that far. I thought it was a neat item. I didn't save a copy of the discordant cur, and I don't want to mess up in explaining it, so hopefully it shows up in the critique thread. Hm...other items that I enjoyed that I haven't seen mentioned... I had a certain affection for the "makes a house" item that was a gingerbread house. ...I don't remember the name and my notes are at home. I didn't feel like it was Superstar, exactly, but it was kinda cute yet sinister and I could see using it as a GM/throwing it into a fairy tale themed game. I really wish I'd taken more/better notes because things are starting to run together more and more as time goes by.
I got through most of them tonight and will get the rest tomorrow. I'll also voice my encouragement for others to do the same. It's good sportsmanship and frankly, they deserve it. Reading the comments is also very informative.
This is another one I don't remember seeing at all during voting. Not my usual cup of tea, but I think this is a great example of a tightly crafted theme. Yeah, maybe there are some issues with it, but I think it shows off a designer with a lot of potential. I can't wait to see what you come up with for the next round! Congrats on making it to the Top 32!
Sean, I agree with you on the discordant cur. That sentance was one of my favorites out of all of the items this year. And I saw the flask of the moonchild post-cull, so it made it that far. I liked it, but I will say it distrubed me a bit pondering all of the implications of it. Yeah, the Paper Messenger was a cool little thing. As far as message-sending items went, I liked the way it functioned a lot better than the others I saw. The bit about it squeezing under doors was cool. *blush* Oh my gods, someone liked my item, I can go to bed happy now. :P *Toddles off to comment on a few more Top 32 items before passing out*
I can see the mojo with this item. Sword canes are neat. I do like the idea of being able to burn additional charges of a wand to boost the effectiveness of it. I'm not really a fan of items that only augment other items, as a general rule, but I can definitely see why this was popular with people. It's useful, but something just hit me as off. I'm not sure if it was that I felt like I'd seen something similar elsewhere or what, but I can see the niche it fills quite nicely, so I'm warming up to it. Congrats on making it to the Top 32 and good luck next round!
This was one of my favorite, if not my favorite, mirror items this year. It made sense to be a mirror, yet, I didn't groan and feel like it was overly sterotypical. It managed to break my expectations...it also being a swarm related item that was, again, not what I would have expected. I think you played smartly with a lot of complex ideas and managed to not drop the ball, which in and of itself is impressive. I think that's what makes this Superstar. Congrats and I can't wait to see what you come up with for the next round!
I really liked the core concept of this item, but I really think the limits should have been handled differently. SKR's proposed solution makes a lot of sense, though I also like the idea of making it a consumable item. I can see why people would think it trivializes the importance of carefully selecting your domains, but at the same time, the logic behind this makes sense and has a lot of appeal to me. It needs some tweaks, but I agree with the judges call here and I want to see more. Can't wait to see what you submit next round and congrats on making it to the Top 32!
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