Latigo: Which one is Brevoy?
Hemming: It's two countries that were united by a red dragon.
Latigo: So, Czechoslovakia.
Mikhail: (during character descrip) I do carry a little fox in a BabyBjorn on my chest.
Hemming: If you've decided to come with us, other than sarcasm, what is it you do?
Mikhail: Glare at things and laugh mostly...
Emma: I've never even set anyone's clothes on fire.
Mikhail: Well, causation is not correlation. ...wait.
GM: At this point the invisible frost skeletons attack.
Everyone else in the room in unison: Invisible. Frost. Skeletons.
GM: The blood is...minty fresh and somewhat blue.
GM: For the record, Emma just soloed a level 3 encounter with one cantrip.
Hemming: Can I attach a bear trap to my fist?
Mikhail: Here, I can do it for you. Now gnaw it off 'cause you're a wolf.
Mikhail: Um, Detect Weasel.
Hemming: I'm not a smartass! I'm more of a dumbass.
Mikhail: Do you actually know how to get answers?
Hemming: ...stabbing...?
Mikhail: That's not a cloud, that's a birds!
GM: Bad News Owlbears
Mikhail [about a male winter witch]: You're not running into that ice ceiling?
Latigo: IGNAN, M@*###~%~@!&. DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Emma: Anything that's beautiful and wants to have sex with you in myths is usually evil. Including women.
Emma, in the corner laughing softly to herself: I could buy so many pigs!
Latigo: Does anyone have something like a kosh? Because I don't.
GM: We are all Kosh.
GM: Saps cost 1 gold piece. I choose to believe that that means one copper piece for the sock and 99 copper pieces to go inside.
GM: The mirror man gets 5 words in his message per turn. I think it's going to be "Imposters and dinosaur in fish".
Latigo: *as illiterate character, mimes turning the menu around several times in incomprehension*
Mikhail: No, that's your napkin.
Dorjia: Now, Nick, you know the rules of snowball fights; you're not allowed to hide claws in them.
Hemming: Wait kids, before you go, take this axe.
Mikhail: YES, TAKE THIS BATTLEAXE YOU'RE NOT PROFICIENT WITH
Emma: I like the idea of a team of three children wielding this axe.
Mikhail: Well good, because Aid Another is the only way they're gonna hit anything.
Mikhail: Do you have multiple nipples?
Emma: #FirstWorldproblems
GM: What's your initiative modifier?
Mikhail *dazed*: Yes. What's next? 4.
Dorjia: What would a bird that's blind and deaf do?
Latigo: Run into a window.
Hemming: I taste everything in a 15 foot radius.
Latigo: There's a dinosaur in there, that sounds horrible. There's a donkey.
Mikhail: It tastes like ass.
Emma: Eh, as long as they're not children tortured to death and forced to eat each other it's not the worst thing we've seen this week.
Emma: Question I feel like I shouldn't have to ask: is this its only ribcage?
Mikhail: I ask the ettin to...sign the receipt.
Emma: I attempt to disbelieve "cow".
Hemming: So we give all the goats a chain shirt...
Hemming: No, I found her pretty attractive, but she was also trying to kill me. I find that a turn off in women.
Latigo: You speak Draconic?
Mikhail: Of course! It's the- ...I almost just called it the language of love.
Latigo: You smell like wet dog.
Hemming: Only sometimes!
Latigo: When you get wet.
Mikhail: You become a protean werewolf
Hemming: A protein werewolf?
Emma: You're already made of meat!
Latigo: It's the touching story of a World War II nurse who fell in love with a shaved bear.
Mikhail: Does the eagle speak...air-ean?
GM: ARYAN IS NOT THE LANGUAGE OF AIR ELEMENTALS
Hemming: In my defense, she was a pretty lady at the time.
Latigo: Holy s&!%, I'm playing Raptor Jesus!
Emma (to Hemming, after Reicarnate caused him to turn into an Undine and lose 2 Str) So you are a very slightly watered down version of yourself.
Hemming: Is she Treaxian?
GM: No, she has skin.
Hemming: Is gourmet dino chow just, like, live monkeys?
Mikhail (after his fox familiar died): I have no f@**s left to give.
Latigo: You have no fox left to give.
GM: Okay, [the grim reaper demon] warms up to you.
Latigo: Oh good. Death warmed over.
Hemming: Actually, I have a lot of human blood.
Mikhail: What, in a jar somewhere??
Hemming: I'm not peeing on the corpses!
Dorjia: So where are we now?
Emma: Tanks. Hut ate tanks. Zorka tanks tea party.
Latigo: First, we acquire a giant mole, then I ride it to freedom.
Emma: So what would be the cost of a Summon Monster scroll that can summon a dire badger?
Hemming: If they had a Druid with them, they could be Mighty Morphin' Yeti Rangers.
Hemming: On a scale of 8 to 10, how likely are they to drown us in the well.
Hemming: Does a 27 hit a shadow demon?
GM: Yes.
Hemming: Does a 25 hit a shadow demon?
GM: Yes.
Hemming: Does a 22 hit a shadow demon?
GM: Yes.
Hemming: Everything hits a shadow demon!
Latigo and Mikhail: You're like Oprah!
Latigo: Dragon eye for the dead guy.
Hemming: Mikhail died as he lived: covered in wasps.
Latigo: And in women's clothing.
Mikhail: If you turn into a goat, do you lose the grappled condition?
Latigo: I vote we turn Mikhail into a sexy catboy.
Hemming: And then hopefully I've got enough wolves by the time I fight Gorum.
Mikhail: G@$~!%mit, I'm cross-dressing again!
Mikhail: There's something wrong here.
Hemming: Because you're a half-orc and a man pretending to be an ice witch?
Hemming: So are we leading in a goat pretending it's the queen of Irrisen now?!
Hemming: Because she was really lonely and I don't know when to stop.
Emma: We can just ask the dragon if the bond broke.
Latigo: That makes so much more sense, I heard “ask the dragon if the BONG broke.”
Mikhail: No, I specifically wasn't wearing pants that one time.
Emma: Flesh to Stone Cold?
Mikhail: ...Steve Austin?
GM: The fact that the truth also would have gotten you where you needed to go does not retroactively mean you told the truth!
GM: Gorum would make for a very angry evangelical church.
Hemming: Gormanism?
Emma: I'll just cast fireball on you when you need a shower.