Tothric, you are too kind! To be honest, I got lucky with the greenwood mechanism. I didn't even know it existed until I started looking for a material to use. The "dozen" did indeed trip me up. It seems several people skipped right over it and said I didn't specify a starting number of thorns. I also get your point about this inevitably becoming the source of controversy. I'll be more definitive in the future. I'm certain that the damage/broken/regrowth aspect cost me votes as well. The other aspect that seemed to hurt me was the fact that bleed is just too bland. My wife had suggested something more dangerous (heart-seeking thorns or fast-acting disease). I should have listened to her.
Lastly, I had never heard of Blazing 9 until you mentioned it. I looked it up and now I have to comb through that thread as soon as I can. There's a great deal of very helpful information in it.
BTW, kudos for making the top 32 and for stepping out to do all these reviews. I'm not brave enough to do any critiques at this point and really appreciate those who are.
I toyed with the idea of submitting something during Season 8, but couldn't work up the nerve. I took the plunge this time, riding the high from attending GenCon. I've received some excellent feedback on my Blackthorn Cudgel (solid, but uninspired) and just submitted my votes on the excellent maps in Round 2.
I have been hugely impressed by how many of the various comments on these forums are so respectful and genuinely helpful. I get a real sense of community on these boards. It's a great atmosphere for someone who's dipped in and out of this hobby since the days of Greyhawk (my first GenCon was in Lake Geneva). Looking forward to Season 10!
The Good: I like the theme, blackthorn is a neat material, I own a blackthorn cane IRL, so you get points from me there. Greenwood is also a favourite of mine in the special materials category.
The Bad: There are some minor formatting and rules languages issues. Most glaring is the clubs tag line should appear as +2 greenwood wounding club. Special materials should always be denoted in the tag line entry as such.
The Ugly: Bleed just does not do it for me here, there are so many ways to go, this one lets me down. I really liked the item, but very much was looking...
Thanks for the excellent feedback. I love blackthorn and just recently learned about the characteristics of greenwood. I loved the way these two could work together, but the rest of the item really didn't build enough on that. This isn't "RPG Kinda Cool", after all. Next year, I'll use more creativity (and format the thing better). Thanks again for taking the time to give me your thoughts.
This is a good item but good isn't going to get you in. I do have a soft spot for thorn items so good niche there.
Pit Crew Feedback:
1) Love the name cool using greenwood.
2) First issue you do not define number of thorns... but we have a mechanic for them breaking off one at a time and a bunch on recovering that charge mechanic. It's sort of a huge oversight.
3) While thematically appropriate bleed and blood themes is a classic voter turn off. Not a deal breaker but they need to do something neater. Maybe if the thorns burrowed making themselves harder to dislodge? After 3 rounds another effect happens if they are ignored...
Thank you for the kind words. Excellent feedback, especially the thoughts about an alternative to bleed damage. It's pretty clear to me that a top-notch entry needs more imagination than I displayed. I like the borrowing concept - very organic which fits with the greenwood.
The number of thorns, however, were specified. "The knobbed head of the blackthorn cudgel displays a dozen prominent needle-sharp thorns,..." I've had several people read past that, so I'm convinced I should have been more explicit. Perhaps "...displays 12 prominent..."
This is how you write a weapon special ability! Very concise wording, beautiful imagery all tied around a tight theme.
Does this add something to the game?
No, this is a wounding cudgel (small re-work) with flavor text. The small rework is neat, but does not show your creativity as a designer.
Would I want this in my games?
As a Player?
Yes, and have had similar items.
As a GM?
It already exists (to a certain extent)! I have no problem with it, and love the imagery.
Point at which I would stop up-voting this item (based on this year’s experiences): Around the third cull; I voted on this item a lot actually, I think that it was my second most voted on...
Thank you for your kind words! I've gotten a few other reviews and agreed with the specific points they made. Your comments, however, really helped me understand the strengths and weaknesses of the item as a whole. I'm pleased to hear that you felt the entry was solid. I agree completely that it lacked creativity. This is RPG Superstar, after all. I'm going to add more Superstar-ish elements next year and see how much further I can get.
This got further than I thought it would. Not far enough though, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Blackthorn Cudgel
Spoiler:
Blackthorn Cudgel Aura moderate transmutation and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot no; Price 26,450 gp; Weight 3 lbs
Description
This +2 club of wounding is crafted as greenwood, using a blackthorn branch. In this case, many of the thorns are also worked into the grain of the wood. The knobbed head of the blackthorn cudgel displays a dozen prominent needle-sharp thorns, strong enough to pierce armor. On each successful attack, one thorn detaches and becomes embedded in the creature struck. As long as the thorn remains embedded in the creature, it does 1 point of hit point bleed damage. A single embedded thorn can be removed using a move or standard action, but the bleed condition persists for another 3 rounds after the thorn is removed. A blackthorn cudgel regrows lost thorns at a rate of one per minute. Each regrown thorn causes one hit point of damage to the cudgel. After taking 25 hit points of damage, the blackthorn cudgel acquires the broken condition and can no longer regrow any thorns. A blackthorn cudgel loses the wounding feature whenever there are no thorns displayed. A blackthorn cudgel can regain hit points (and will start to regrow thorns) using the standard rules for greenwood weapons.
Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, thorn body or wall of thorns, bleed; Cost 13,450 gp
Blackthorn Cudgel
*Typically only the most important school is listed in an item's aura. Slot should say none not no. The weight should have a period at the end (to show abbreviation of lbs.). The first sentence should start: "This +2 wounding greenwood club". Always try to follow the format of items from the Core Rule Book as best as you can. drop the In this case (all of these items are crafted this way). You don't need to specify that the bleed damage is hit point damage (only if it is a different type of damage as bleed defaults to hp damage). You can drop the or standard action (one can always take a move action instead of a standard). Having this item take 25 points of damage is problematic as it would normally be broken at 13 damage and destroyed at 25 damage (5 base hp for a club, +20 for the +2 enhancement bonus). This also seems strange that it takes damage when the thorns re-grow, not when they break off.
Thanks for the detailed notes. I had no idea there were so many details I missed. I think my wording for damage points taken and repaired was a real problem with lots of voters. I tried a variety of different methods and ran out of time before I found a really good one. Lesson learned - I'll start earlier next year!
I don’t know the rules for greenwood items, but I’m guessing they tend to take damage from use and can repair themselves somehow. I’m not sure what the value is in causing the weapon to become damaged. Is it to balance it somehow? Essentially, what we have is a wounding weapon with a bunch of fluff to describe the wounding property, and it’s actually weaker than wounding, since the actual wounding property is harder to stop than this effect. To be fair, you did price this lower than a regular +2 wounding club, so perhaps this was on purpose, but in the end, all this is is a +2 wounding club with attached fluff, and not really Superstar because of that.
Yes, the mechanism for greenwood items details how they repair damage. I think I got too immersed in the mechanics of that and lost track of the impact on the item's usefulness. I needed to drop the price because it ended up playing like a downgraded +2 wounding club. As you point out, that's not really superstar-level. I still like the imagery, but I think I see why it didn't get further. I did better than I thought I would on my first try, but I'll have to do better next year.
Nice for a first try.
I think it could use more punch.
Drawback too clunky.
Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I got a little carried away with the regrowth aspects of greenwood items. I couldn't figure out how to keep the thematic benefits without getting so complicated. Looking at the top 32+4, it seems clear to me that you're absolutely right about it lacking punch. I'll use that as a guide for next year, to be sure.
This was my first entry for RPG Superstar and I feel honored that I made it as far as I did. Please don't hold back on your critiques! I intend to try again next year and I want to be prepared.
Blackthorn Cudgel Aura moderate transmutation and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot no; Price 26,450 gp; Weight 3 lbs
Description
This +2 club of wounding is crafted as greenwood, using a blackthorn branch. In this case, many of the thorns are also worked into the grain of the wood. The knobbed head of the blackthorn cudgel displays a dozen prominent needle-sharp thorns, strong enough to pierce armor. On each successful attack, one thorn detaches and becomes embedded in the creature struck. As long as the thorn remains embedded in the creature, it does 1 point of hit point bleed damage. A single embedded thorn can be removed using a move or standard action, but the bleed condition persists for another 3 rounds after the thorn is removed. A blackthorn cudgel regrows lost thorns at a rate of one per minute. Each regrown thorn causes one hit point of damage to the cudgel. After taking 25 hit points of damage, the blackthorn cudgel acquires the broken condition and can no longer regrow any thorns. A blackthorn cudgel loses the wounding feature whenever there are no thorns displayed. A blackthorn cudgel can regain hit points (and will start to regrow thorns) using the standard rules for greenwood weapons.
Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, thorn body or wall of thorns, bleed; Cost 13,450 gp
For some reason I thought you needed to have the scroll in hand.
I guess that is a big part of my question - Do I have to be holding the written material (scroll/book) or can it just be on my person somewhere? Is this just DM's discretion or is there an official ruling of some sort?
If a Sorcerer with Mnemonic Vestment wants to cast a spell from a Wizard's spellbook that he has in his Handy Haversack, does he have to cast Read Magic, fish out the book, find the right page and read the spell to cast it? The wording of the Mnemonic Vestment item seems to imply that he just needs to be carrying the spellbook and be able to read it, not that he has to be actually reading it.
The description for the item is as follows:
The surface of this delicate-looking blue silk robe is adorned with tiny embossed runes across its entire surface. If the wearer is a spontaneous caster, once per day she may use a spell slot to cast a spell from a written source (such as a scroll or spellbook) as if she knew that spell. The spell must be on her spell list, the same spell level or lower than the expended spell slot, and the same type of spell (arcane or divine) as the spell slot expended. The caster must also understand the written source (such as using Decipher Script or read magic) and be carrying it. Activating the robe is not an action, but casting the spell otherwise works as normal, including casting time, providing components or foci, and so on. Using a mnemonic vestment's properties does not consume the written source.
Magic Jar seems too RANDOM! I'm often in a fairly large group and it seems like the odds of possessing an ally make this spell virtually useless. The other party members could all get Protection From Evil, but then I could easily spend round after round getting bumped back into the Jar. Am I missing something?
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. This has given me some ideas to bounce off the group.
Magic Jar seems too RANDOM! I'm often in a fairly large group and it seems like the odds of possessing an ally make this spell virtually useless. The other party members could all get Protection From Evil, but then I could easily spend round after round getting bumped back into the Jar. Am I missing something?
