Critique My Item Please!


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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Sovereign Court Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Companion, Lost Omens, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

The thread you've all been waiting for!

While our talented top 32 +4 work furiously on our map round, this is a chance to post your item and get some feedback on what you did well and what you can do better next year.

Let's all learn together.


Soulrazor
Aura strong necromancy and conjuration; CL 18th
Slot none; Price 113,615 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This +1 keen impervious adamantine scimitar contains a black sapphire in its hilt with motes of swirling light. The first soulrazors were wielded by powerful killers who wanted a permanent way to slay their enemies while escaping that fate themselves.

When the wielder confirms a critical hit (15-20/x2) she may choose (three times per day) to force the target to make a DC 23 Will save or have his soul imprisoned within the sapphire. There is no limit to the number of souls it can imprison. Such souls cannot be returned from the dead until freed. Creatures immune to critical hits or lacking a soul are immune to this effect.

Destroying a soulrazor (hardness 24; 26 hp) immediately frees all of its imprisoned souls. Alternatively, the wielder can free a soul as a move action by speaking the soul's name. If the wielder has the ability to cast soul bind then she may cast it as she frees a soul and transfer that soul into another sapphire (no save).

Once per day the wielder may use the soulrazor on herself as a full round action. Doing so briefly obscures the wielder in a cloud of smoke. After the smoke clears others see what appears to be the wielder's corpse. In reality this corpse is a lifeless double of the wielder. This double disappears after one hour. The wielder is subject to a heal spell that heals 110 hp of damage and is temporarily trapped, along with her gear, inside the soulrazor. After one hour the wielder reappears at the soulrazor's current location.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door, fabricate, heal, keen edge, make whole, simulacrum, soul bind; Cost 56,807.5 gp

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

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Lion’s Roar
Aura moderate evocation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 43,350 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
Softly warm to the touch and constantly seeming to reflect soft fire light this +1 courageous holy elysian bronze greatsword exudes a solidity that inspires all of pure heart.

In battle a good aligned wielder of a lion’s roar is surrounded by golden fragments of luminescence that coalesce into the enraged form of a great lion, which begins to snarl and roar in an oddly melodious cadence.

The leonine force and majesty of the engulfing aura grants the wielder and his allies the heart of the lion. The lion's great heart allows them each once per day when they would be subject to a fear effect to prevent the effect and instead gain the benefits of a greater heroism spell that lasts as long as the original duration of the fear effect. This ability may be used only while the aura is active.

Three times per day the wielder may draw from the nobility and righteousness the aura bequeaths as a swift action, transforming his weapon damage for one round into energy drawn from divine power. This divine power is not subject to being reduced by resistances or immunities to normal forms of energy. On use the great lion roars loudly and savages the wielder’s opponent. When all three daily uses have been expended the golden aura shatters and will not manifest again for 24 hours.

For any non-good wielder a lion's roar is simply a +1 courageous holy elysian bronze greatsword.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, flame strike, greater heroism, heroism, holy smite, remove fear, creator must be good; Cost 22,350 gp

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka surfbored

7 people marked this as a favorite.

Thank you in advance!

Glove of the Severed Servant

Aura faint necromancy and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 11,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Festooned with jagged barbs, this well-worn glove magically adjusts to fit either hand and functions as a +1 spiked gauntlet. Upon command, the gauntlet removes the wearer's gloved hand with an audible snap, leaving only a smooth stump behind.

The disembodied hand scurries about freely, using the statistics of a crawling hand (Bestiary 2 59). The wearer directs the hand telepathically, instructing it to perform typical actions including; attacking, making a skill check or retrieving an item. The hand continues this action until given another command.

A touch spell can be delivered by the severed hand if the spell is cast before the hand detaches. If the wearer casts another spell before the touch is delivered, the touch spell dissipates and is lost.

The severed hand may reattach at any time by simply returning to the wearer's space. Should the disembodied hand be killed or travel further than 1 mile from the wearer, it immediately reappears on the wearer's wrist unharmed. However, the gauntlet loses all magical abilities for 24 hours, becoming a normal spiked gauntlet during this period. Should the wearer be killed, the detached hand becomes an actual crawling hand, reattaching to the wearer only after it is reduced to 0 hit points.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, spectral hand, undead anatomy I; Cost 5,750 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 9

4 people marked this as a favorite.

My first RPGSS entry. Thank you for any and all critiques!

Green Flash
Aura moderate divination, evocation, and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Hewn of green poplar threaded with gold, this +2 seeking longbow evokes the rare green beacon which appears in the last moments before sunset, allowing the bearer to harness this mystical viridescence to strike her foes on the distant horizon. When the bow is drawn, the threads of gold in the wood glow brightly before fading, echoing the sun’s last rays. If the bow is drawn in a dim area, the bearer is granted low light vision; bearers who already possess this ability have their low light vision range doubled.

Once per day, as a standard action, the bow can be used to make a single ranged attack against one opponent outside of the bow’s first range increment at a +20 insight bonus, ignoring all but total cover. If hit, the target becomes wreathed in green faerie fire and is considered to be within the bow’s first range increment as long as the bearer is able to see them. The faerie fire lasts for one hour or until dispelled and the bearer ignores all but total cover when firing on the target.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, faerie fire, longshot, true seeing, true strike; Cost 16,000 gp

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

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Soul Shackle Bolt
Aura Moderate abjuration and conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 4,506 gp; Weight 1/10 lb.
Description
This +1 ghost touch bolt pierces the soul of any creature it strikes, leaving behind an astral spike that impales the victim’s soul. Failing a DC 17 Will save causes the spike to last one minute, otherwise it dissipates after one round. The spike persists even if the bolt is removed. While the astral spike is embedded in a soul, the soul cannot leave the body, or plane of existence (including moving through a portal or gate or entering an extra-dimensional space). Attempts to teleport, planar travel, or possess another creature causes a wrenching pain as the spike anchors the soul in place. This causes 1d6 damage and prevents the action. Thesoul shackle bolt does not hinder physical movement in any way, unless that movement crosses a planar boundary. If the soul shackle bolt hits an incorporeal creature, it also prevents them from passing through solid objects, causing damage as above with each attempt. A soul shackle bolt has no additional effect on creatures without souls, such as constructs.
In addition, a creature pierced by a soul shackle bolt cannot die. Instead of dying, it’s soul is bound in place by the astral spike, and cannot move on. Healing the creature above its negative Constitution score prior to the astral spike dissipating keeps prevents its death. Time a soul is spent anchored without dying delays effects that happen after death, such as death throes, becoming an undead spawn, etc.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimensional anchor, ghostbane dirge, plane shift Cost 2,256 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

9 people marked this as a favorite.

Sarkorian Sunderjaw
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 48,305 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
Crafted from the mandible of a large demon, this +2 greatclub is carved with intricate scrimshaw depicting monsters of many kinds. At creation, its tooth sockets are devoid of teeth, the bone is strengthened to not be fragile or have a damage penalty, and its critical threat range is 19-20.

On a confirmed critical hit against a conscious creature that has a bite attack, the sarkorian sunderjaw unerringly strikes the mouth of the target. The creature takes critical damage as normal and must succeed at a Fortitude saving throw (DC 16) or have its teeth (or the like) smashed out or sheared off, rendering its bite attack useless. A creature losing its only natural attack this way gains a primary slam attack based on its size (see the Universal Monster Rules in the Bestiary). If the tooth sockets are empty, the wielder may have the broken teeth magically and immediately fill the club's sockets, dealing both bludgeoning and piercing damage thereafter.

Additionally on three attacks per day, if the bite attack of a monster whose teeth are held in the sarkorian sunderjaw caused bleed, disease, paralysis, poison, or another effect (with GM approval), the club has that same ability, though any saving throw DCs become 16. The wielder chooses to use this ability as a free action before he rolls the attack, and on a natural 1, the teeth are shattered and the sockets become empty once again. The teeth can also be removed manually with an hour's work.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Improved Critical, Power Attack, strong jaw (APG); Cost 24,305 gp

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

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Gorgon Sinew Lariat
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 23,300 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Twisted strands of gorgon sinew compose this +1 distance lasso, infusing it with a gorgon's power.

Once per day as a move action, the wielder can activate this power by swinging the lasso above her head. If the wielder successfully entangles a creature in the same round, the lasso begins to expel green petrification gas.

At the start of the entangled target’s turn, it takes 1d4 points of Dexterity damage each round for a maximum of seven rounds. A creature reduced to 0 Dexterity by the lasso is petrified permanently. Break enchantment, restoration, or stone to flesh can reverse this effect.

Creatures that don’t need to breathe or are protected from inhaling gasses are immune to this effect. Once a creature escapes, breaks out, or cuts through the lasso they take no further Dexterity damage.

This gas can also be dissipated by winds. A moderate wind (11+ mph), such as from a gust of wind spell, disperses the gas in 4 rounds. A strong wind (21+ mph) disperses the gas in 1 round. When the gas is dispersed, the target takes no further Dexterity damage.

The gorgon sinew lariat wraps itself tightly around anything it entangles. If an entangled creature attempts to cast a spell, it must succeed at a concentration check with a DC of 15 + the spell's level or be unable to cast the spell. An entangled creature can escape with a successful DC 20 Escape Artist check.

Gorgon sinew lariats have hardness 2, 12 hp and can be burst with a DC 24 Strength check.
Construction
Requirements
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope, calcific touch, clairaudience/clairvoyance; Cost 11,800 gp

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Phase Strike Lenses
Aura strong transmutation and moderate divination; CL 15th
Slot eyes; Price 36,000 gp; Weight
Description
This pair of thin crystal lenses shimmers with swirls of an ethereal mist. When applied to the eyes, the wearer sees his surroundings overlaid with a thin gray fog, like the wakes of a thousand wandering spirits. He gains the ability to see incorporeal and ethereal creatures and objects, though not invisible ones. Both lenses must be worn for the magic item to take effect.

At will, the wearer can, as a standard action, stare at one creature of large size or smaller, or one unattended object (weighing no more than 250 lbs.), and cause it (and its gear) to become ethereal for one round. The wearer must be within 100 feet of his target, and have line of sight. Creatures and magical objects can make a Fortitude (object) save DC 22 to resist—non-magical objects receive no saving throw. The wearer cannot target himself with the lenses.

In subsequent rounds, the wearer can, as a standard action, maintain concentration to keep his target ethereal. Creatures made ethereal are not held, and can move and act freely; objects can be mentally moved by the wearer at a speed of 60 feet per round. If the wearer loses line of sight, or moves more than 100 feet away from his target, it rematerializes (if it reappears either wholly or partially inside a solid object, it is shunted off to the nearest open space, taking 1d6 points of damage per 5 feet traveled). The same thing happens to a corporeal creature or object if it is within the area of a larger object’s re-materialization.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ethereal jaunt, polymorph any object, true seeing; Cost 18,000 gp

Shadow Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

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Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Thank you in advance for taking a look at my item. I'm interested in feedback from anyone and everyone, including the Good, Bad, & Ugly thread.

RPGSS Track Record:
This was my third time entering RPGSS -- 2 years ago I entered the Echoing Stone (which was a Top 100), and last year I entered a Staff of the Crow (which survived the cull -- I also believe there were two entries with that name :( ).

The Locket of Love's Lure was cut in the 4th Cull.

Locket of Love's Lure
Aura faint enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot neck; Price 7,500 gp; Weight
Description
This silver locket was originally designed by followers of Naderi to help star-crossed lovers persevere through the obstacles and doubts that would assail them in their pursuit of true love. It is most commonly suspended from a black leather cord or a lace-trimmed black choker. When the locket is donned, it opens to reveal a stylized ivory cameo depicting whomever the wearer has the strongest romantic feelings for, and cannot be closed again for as long as it is worn. The subject of the picture changes with the feelings of the wearer, but can only change once per 24 hours.

The wearer of a locket of love's lure gains a +2 competence bonus on all Charisma-based skills, and a +5 competence bonus on Charisma-based skill checks made against the subject of the locket's picture. Furthermore, any skill check made by the wearer against the subject of the picture ignores all circumstance penalties due to societal disapproval.

If Naderi is the wearer's patron, the wearer may cast bleed at will and charm person three times per day. Because of the locket's ties to the Lost Maiden, the wearer cannot hold her breath underwater and will automatically fail all Constitution checks against drowning. This does not prevent normal swim checks or holding her breath in other circumstances.
Construction
Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item
, bleed, charm person, creator must worship Naderi; Cost 3,750 gp

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

8 people marked this as a favorite.

I sincerely thought I had a shoe-in for the top 32. But I guess I'm blind to what others may have seen wrong with my entry, or I'm just super-duper confident.

Anywho, taking all critiques! I'll get to my haikus later tonight.
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Cyclonic Darkleaf
Aura faint illusion and moderate abjuration; CL 6th
Slot armor; Price 20,375 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description

The rugged leaves used to create this +2 darkleaf studded leather seem to always be rustling, even without wind. Half of them are coated with alchemical silver, replacing bulky standard studs without sacrificing protection for the wearer.

Twice per day, as a standard action, the armor can be commanded to unravel and explode into a 20-foot high stationary cyclone of leaves, metal, and severe wind (Core Rulebook, pg. 439). Each 5-foot square adjacent to the user becomes occupied by the swirling cyclone. With a successful DC 16 Reflex save, a creature can avoid being caught in the initial burst and jump into a safe, adjacent empty square. This movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

A creature within any space the cyclone occupies is immediately blinded and dealt 1d10+2 points of slashing damage. This damage also counts as magic and silver for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction. As long as the creature stays inside the cyclone, it remains blinded and continues to take this damage at the beginning of each of its turns.

As the cyclone rages, treat the user as if he is not wearing the armor, though his armor slot is still occupied. Any attacks with melee weapons passing into or through the cyclone’s winds are treated as though the target has concealment (20% miss chance). An active cyclone can be maintained as a free action for up to six rounds, but it immediately and harmlessly disperses when the user’s body moves into it.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blur, cloak of winds (Advanced Player's Guide); Cost 10,575 gp

Scarab Sages

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Crits and suggestions welcome.

Auric Hush
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 27,001 gp; Weight
Description
This old azlanti coin is blemished and stained from age and exposure to various substances. On one side is the face of a man with a jagged X carved over his mouth, and on the other is a stylized magpie.
When held on the tongue the wearer can make a melee touch attack to steal the voice of another. The target must make a DC 14 Will save or lose the ability to speak, cast spells with verbal components, or activate command word items. Only one voice can be stolen in this manner at any time.
The target remains mute until such time as the wearer of the Auric Hush removes the coin from their tongue, speaks, casts a spell with a verbal component, or makes some other audible exhalation. Should the wearer take damage of any kind, they must make a Fortitude save (with a DC equivalent to 10 + the damage taken) or inadvertently make a sound and release the voice of their victim.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse; Cost 13,501 gp

Star Voter Season 9

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Thank you for any advice. This was cut in the final cull.

Teeth of the White Death
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 5th
Slot Neck; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This item appears as a coral necklace with five Great White Shark teeth attached to it. These teeth can be activated with a command, producing the listed effect, but each tooth can be only used once. After a tooth is used, it shatters.

A Ripple in the Water: Detaching this tooth centers a aura of fear on the wearer as though fear (30 ft., DC17) had been cast.

Jaws of the White: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's mouth into a double row of razor sharp teeth. Wearer gains a Bite +9 attack (2d8+10 plus bleed (1d6)).

Killer Vision: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's eyes black. Wearer gains Blindsense 30 ft.

Fleet of Fin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain a Swim Speed of 60 ft.

Shedding Skin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain Fast Healing 3.

Each of the abilities gained lasts for 1d6 hours. Necklace regrows teeth at the rate of 1 per day.

Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, fear, touch of the sea, echolocation; Cost 5,000 gp

Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Hell’s Restraints
Aura moderate evocation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 21,100 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
Loosely hanging chains harvested from slain kytons rise up from this +2 adamantine chain shirt, like snakes sensing prey.

Once per day as a standard action, the wearer can release a cacophonous howl that causes chains to snake out from the armor in a 15-foot burst. The wearer can make a grapple combat maneuver check using his own CMB with a +2 enhancement bonus against up to four creatures of his size or smaller in the area. If the grapple maneuver is successful, the wearer may also reposition his targets by 5 feet as a free action. The wearer of hell’s restraints does not gain the grappled condition while the chains grapple his targets. The wearer is tethered to the grappled creatures and cannot move farther than 15 feet away from each grappled creature. The chains have a CMD of 29, hardness 20 and 5 hp. Broken chains have no effect on the armor and reform magically. The chains maintain their grapple for one round, after which they recoil back into the armor.

The wearer of hell’s restraints may also awaken the chains as a standard action to manipulate objects at a reach of 15 feet, and grant himself a climb speed of 20 feet for 5 rounds each day. These rounds do not need to be consecutive.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, chain of perdition, spider climb; Cost 10,550 gp

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 9

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Pawns Subscriber

Lookouts Lucky Buckler
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 7th
Slot shield; Price 5800 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The buckler gleams in metallic swirls as weaving threads of the night sky shine in the darkness with the echoes of the dead faintly whispering from beyond.

Crafted in the memory of many fallen adventurers by a vagrant band of bards, a lookouts lucky buckler functions as a +1 steel buckler.

Once per day when the wearer has detected the location of a trap he may move the trap, as a standard action, to any square within a 10-foot radius of the trap. The range of moving the trap increases by 5 feet for every +3 enhancement bonus beyond +1 of the buckler. The new destination of the trap must be on solid ground, and the trap cannot end in a space that is by nature hazardous or is incapable of containing the trap. When the trap is moved its Perception check is decreased by -5 as the trap no longer holds most of its original camouflage.  The wearer gains an additional use of this ability upon the buckler reaching an enchantment bonus of +5, and again at a +10 enchantment bonus overall.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, jester’s jaunt; Cost 2900 gp

Dark Archive Marathon Voter Season 9

Oh what the heck, I guess I should post it anyway even though I'm afraid, I really do need a lot of feedback anyway

Face of the Kraken
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This black leather mask covers the lower half of the face, and the area around the mouth is stylized to look like short tentacles. When the mask is worn, tentacles extend to chest length and start squirming. The wearer can use the tentacles to carry an object. He cannot wield weapons with the tentacles, but the tentacles allow him to retrieve an item carried on his person or grab an item from the ground as a swift action. The wearer can grapple with the tentacles without penalty even while the wearer’s hands are full, but he cannot do that while carrying an object in the tentacles. Three times a day as a standard action, the wearer can extend the tentacles to a length of 15 feet and use them to attempt a reposition combat maneuver at that range. Additionally, the mask also allows the wearer to breath underwater (as water breathing). The wearer can eat and drink while wearing the mask through the beak at the center of the tentacles.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, black tentacles, water breathing; Cost 4,000 gp

Star Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My item, flaws and all. Please don't pull any punches :)

Watch of Borrowed Time
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight —¬
Description
This hunter-case pocket watch is tarnished with age and the case’s emboss is scarred beyond recognition. Inside of the case is an engraving that reads “Progress now, progress forever”. Even when not wound, the watch produces a gentle tick-tock that can only be heard in complete stillness.

Once per day on command, the hunter-case springs open and the hands of the watch begin spinning wildly as two long, illusory clock hands stretch out beneath you. These phantasmal hour and minute hands last for 1 minute and revolve clockwise under you, until you, as a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity, designate two squares adjacent to you for them to point towards. A creature occupying the square that the hour hand indicates must make a DC 14 Will save or become staggered as it is syphoned of its perception of time. Additionally, if that creature fails its saving throw, a creature occupying the square the minute hand indicates receives the first creature’s “stolen time” and gains an extra movement action on their next turn.

If no creature occupies the square that the minute hand indicates, this additional effect is lost as the excess time creates a brief, yet violent, temporal shudder. If a single creature occupies both squares indicated by the hands and fails its save, the creature’s stolen time is immediately returned to it. However, its rapidly shifting sense of time causes it to become sickened. As a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity, you can realign the positions of both clock hands to point toward different squares. These hands pivot and move with you as their fulcrum.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, slow, minor image; Cost 5,400 gp

Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

5 people marked this as a favorite.

OK,reading this again I see no style just function. What else did I do wrong?

Chameleon Shield
Aura moderate illusion; CL 8th
Slot shield; Price 10,114 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This +1 heavy wooden shield is painted and carved with the likeness of a chameleon lizard. After being stationary for one move action, the shield changes color and texture to blend in with the environment giving concealment to its bearer. Three times per day, after being activated and stationary for a full round, it covers the bearer with an illusion of the surrounding environment granting total concealment as long as the user is still or moves at half speed or less. Attacking and spell casting with somatic or verbal components and any other normal or faster motion negates these effects.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, woodshape, hide campsite;
Cost 5,157 gp


dracwn wrote:

Thank you for any advice. This was cut in the final cull.

Teeth of the White Death
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 5th
Slot Neck; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This item appears as a coral necklace with five Great White Shark teeth attached to it. These teeth can be activated with a command, producing the listed effect, but each tooth can be only used once. After a tooth is used, it shatters.

A Ripple in the Water: Detaching this tooth centers a aura of fear on the wearer as though fear (30 ft., DC17) had been cast.

Jaws of the White: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's mouth into a double row of razor sharp teeth. Wearer gains a Bite +9 attack (2d8+10 plus bleed (1d6)).

Killer Vision: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's eyes black. Wearer gains Blindsense 30 ft.

Fleet of Fin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain a Swim Speed of 60 ft.

Shedding Skin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain Fast Healing 3.

Each of the abilities gained lasts for 1d6 hours. Necklace regrows teeth at the rate of 1 per day.

Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, fear, touch of the sea, echolocation; Cost 5,000 gp

Going to dip in when I get the chance and the dice say start with this one :)

Template issues hit you probably around the 3rd or 4th cull I suspect... here are the immediately obvious ones...

Aura - no capitals!
Slot - no capitals!
Construction - spells should be listed alphabetically, so echolocation is in the wrong place.

The other major issue with this item is it is a classic SAK (Swiss Army Knife) item. It has a lot of closely related "pick me" powers.

There is nothing inherently wrong with such an item, but with years of advice in earlier seasons, a lot of voters will likely deem it as non superstar.

Command activation - what action type? I assume standard?

How do I know which tooth is which?

So tighten your theme to a major central power with one or two at most supporting powers, tighten your templating and you should fare much better next time.

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Please give a harsh critique, hold nothing back, I need to hear it.
Thanks in advance.

Track Record:
Last year, my Bodkin of Desperation did not survive the first cull.
This year, my Needlenose Arbalest survived every cull.

Needlenose Arbalest
Aura strong transmutation; CL 14th
Slot none; Price 51,050 gp; Weight 12 lbs.
Description
This sculpture of a monstrously articulated mosquito functions as a +2 impervious heavy crossbow, gaining the seeking special ability when targeting creatures with the bleed condition or who are below half their full hit points.

Once per week, the wielder may speak a command word to launch the mosquito's head at a foe within 50 feet as a ranged touch attack. The head remains connected by a length of rope stored within the crossbow. As part of the weapon, the rope benefits from the enhancement bonus and impervious special ability.

A successful hit deals normal damage and 1 point of bleed damage and the wielder can attempt a combat maneuver check to grapple the target as a free action. Each round the wielder successfully maintains the grapple, the target is pulled 10 feet closer to the wielder and dealt 1 additional point of bleed damage. This movement does not provoke.

If the wielder begins their turn adjacent to the target and successfully pins them, they may drop the crossbow as it animates into a giant mosquito (see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 2), but without the disease special ability. The wielder is no longer grappled as the mosquito is now pinning the target. The mosquito acts on the wielder's next initiative, feeding on the pinned target. The mosquito reverts to its crossbow form once the grapple ends, the target is killed, or it deals 8 points of constitution damage, whichever comes first. If slain while animated, the mosquito reverts to crossbow form and may not be animated for a full month.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bleed, blood scent, fabricate, make whole, true seeing, vermin shape II; Cost 25,700 gp


6 people marked this as a favorite.

Based on the snark thread :P - my starter for 10 is

a) Too MUCH lore >.<
b) Fan fighting is not a core weapon and not as many people like ninja style combat as I do >.<
c) I bet people didn't like the use your first attack for ranged and use the rest of multi attacks in melee - it was a gamble but c'est la vie.
d) Too many words ( again >.< )
e) first year using links only to discover some voters insta down-vote them >.<

I'm happy though, I made through all the culls...

Wing of the Night Monarch
Aura moderate enchantment and evocation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 16,305 gp; Weight
Description
The gossamer silk of this +1 fighting fan portrays the resplendent wing patterns of Desna’s Night Monarch. Its ivory guard sticks bearing eight stars.

Once per round, the wielder activates the fan as a ranged attack with maximum range 60 feet. A star is consumed as a butterfly of divine light is released at the target. On a hit it melds with the target dealing 1d6 points of holy damage (critical threat on a 20, x3 damage), otherwise it dissipates harmlessly. The dizzying flight of the butterfly grants a feint check as a free action against the target, the result affecting the butterfly attack only.

Wielding a second fan permits activation of a second star simultaneously with the first. Attacking the same target grants a single feint check with a +4 circumstance bonus applying the result to both attacks.

If both attacks hit, the target is subject to a waking dream unless they succeed a Will save (DC 16) becoming immune to this effect for 24 hours regardless of the save result. If the target fails the save, they dream of acting normally on their next action but instead take no action. The target is aware of their surroundings and is not defenseless. This is a mind-affecting effect.

Should the wielder have multiple attacks per round, butterfly attacks are made with their first attack - they are able to wield fans normally for any remaining attacks.

Expended stars regenerate overnight. Stars expended during the night do not regenerate until the following night.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daze monster, spiritual weapon, creator must worship Desna; Cost 8,305 gp

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Rusty Ironpants

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Okay, I am going to put my item up for consideration/critique.

First let me state the obvious thing about this item: "What the hell were you thinking, Russ? A piece of rope isn't a weapon, how can it be a magic weapon?

I was hoping that people would like the unconventional approach, but it was definitely a design risk. One that concerned me enough that I almost did not submit this item because of it. Anyway, I am curious to know what people think. Be merciless, I can take it. :)

Vudrani Fighting Rope
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 4,310 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Members of the many Vudrani monastic orders popularized the use of this 8 foot length of thick silk rope that moves and twists of its own accord as it attempts to entangle the enemy. A combatant wields a Vudrani fighting rope as a two-handed exotic melee weapon with the performance and trip qualities. This enchanted rope is a magic weapon with a +1 enhancement bonus, however standard melee attacks deal no damage. Assisting an ally with an aid another action is possible, and the wielder still threatens squares within reach.

When making a disarm or trip combat maneuver with a Vudrani fighting rope the wielder gains a +2 circumstance bonus. Additionally the wielder may attempt a grapple combat maneuver using the rope without incurring the -4 penalty for not having two free hands. This still provokes an attack of opportunity unless the wielder has improved disarm, improved grapple, improved trip or a similar ability. When maintaining a grapple with the rope, if the wielder chooses to deal damage he may deal 1d6+1 and ½ times his Strength bonus in either lethal or nonlethal damage. After pinning an opponent with a Vudrani fighting rope the wielder may tie up the opponent with the rope as a move action without making an additional grapple check.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope; Cost 2,310 gp

Star Voter Season 9

I'm guessing mine was too spell-in-a-can or OP in some way, but I'll take feedback in any form.

Armor of the Sun
Aura Moderate Evocation; CL 7th
Slot Armor; Price 17,500 gp; Weight 50 lbs.
Description
This +1 Fire-Forged Full Plate armor has a dull golden aura that ripples across its steel plates, but otherwise appears like a normal suit of Full Plate.

Once a day, the armor can be activated with a magical incantation to explode into bright illuminations. The burst of light blinds anyone within a 10-foot radius of the user for 1d4 rounds, or dazzles for 1d4 rounds if they make a reflex save (DC 12). If an Evil character is caught in the burst, they take 5d4 damage whether or not they pass the reflex save. After the initial Burst of Radiance, the armor is surrounded by an aura of red and orange flames for 7 rounds. The flames radiate the area within a 5-foot radius around the wearer. All characters that make a melee attack or move into a threatened zone against the wearer while active take 2d6 points of fire damage and catches aflame, or halved if succeeding in a reflex save (DC 14) and avoids catching on fire. The damage from catching on fire does not stack if the character is damaged by the aura of flames multiple times.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Burst of Radiance, Elemental Aura; Cost 8.750 gp

Star Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber

This year I tried to be more descriptive since last year the critique was my ring was too plain and not eye catching.

Ichaival, The Bow of Ydalir
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 12th
Slot Weapon; Price 51,600 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
A Crafting collaboration by the Shaman and Wizards of the Tribes for Ydalir Álfrvinr. A mythic figure and ally of the Snowcaster Tribes in the north of Golarion Ydalir was an ancient King of the Land of the Linnorm Kings. This Adaptive Composite Longbow +2 is made from the Laminated Talons of the Fjord linnorm Fraenir , ice troll sinew, Irrisen Witch-Tree wood layered with frost giant bone, and Inlaid with cold iron glyphs and runes. Due to the magic imbued into the ice troll sinew this weapon adapts itself to the strength of its wielder and the shamanic magic taping into the spirits of the Dragons and Land in which it was made empower the arrows to strike as if one size category larger.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Warp wood, Bull's Strength, Gravity Bow, Righteous Might or Giant Form I Cost 25800 gp

Silver Crusade

I had a dumb, it would seem, and did not manage to save a copy of my item, the Rebel Mask. If someone has a copy of it somewhere, I would greatly appreciate a pm with the item so I could post it for critiquing. Thank you very much, fellow Pathfinders!

Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Janvs

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I don't have time for a detailed critique (I should be working on my map or, since I'm at work, working) but I wanted to say that I LOVED the Wing of the Night Monarch and Vudrani Fighting Rope and voted for both every time. I was disappointed not to see them in the final 32!

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

I'll have to get to my Haikus and critiques when I get home from work. Wish I could do it now, but that's out of the question.

Sovereign Court Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Companion, Lost Omens, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Thieves’ Honor
Aura moderate evocation and illusion; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 39,902 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Faint tracery on this dark, twisted knife subtly shifts to form fearsome images from the subconscious minds of those who look upon it. Silver gleams along its edge.

On command, this +2 menacing dagger creates a duplicate blade made of silvery force. This blade lasts for 10 rounds per day. These rounds do not need to be consecutive. You can dismiss the duplicate as a free action.

When you attack with Thieves’ Honor, the duplicate blade moves adjacent to the target of your attack (flanking, if possible), then attacks. This occurs before your attack is resolved. If you have allies threatening the target, you may direct the duplicate to flank with them instead. The duplicate uses your base attack bonus modified by its enhancement bonus and the higher of either your Intelligence or Charisma bonus, but does not gain iterative attacks. On a hit, the duplicate does 1d4+2 points of force damage and does an extra 2d6 points of precision force damage against a target that is denied its Dexterity bonus to AC or one that it flanks. It has the same critical threat range and multiplier as a normal dagger. In addition, if either you or the duplicate blade confirm a critical hit, the target provokes an attack of opportunity from the other.

The duplicate blade cannot be harmed by physical attacks, but dispel magic, disintegrate, a sphere of annihilation, or a rod of cancellation affects it. The duplicate’s AC against touch attacks is 12 plus your Dexterity modifier.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Outflank, phantasmal killer, twilight knife; Cost 20,102 gp


After thinking about it, I feel like my price was way to high as well as instead of using interval I could of used increments, any advice appreciated.

Gloves of Spell Grip
Aura strong evocation CL 15th
Slot hands; Price 65,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These leather gloves have an image of a crumpled spellbook on their palms. The gloves control spells cast by the wearer that have any duration other than instantaneous or permanent twice a day. The activation time for the gloves is the same as the spell they wish to hold, with a minimum of 1 standard action. Only one spell can be held by the gloves at a time.

This control acts like holding a charge, the spell's duration can be released in the same intervals listed in the spell's description. For example invisibility has a duration of 1 min./level; a 5th level wizard casting it and holding the charge with the gloves can become invisible for five 1 minute intervals divided as he/she chooses until the spell's full duration is used up or lost.

The wearer can cast spells normally while holding a charge with these gloves if they succeed at a concentration check with a DC equal to the spells DC + spell level; failure harmlessly discharges the held spell regardless of the remaining duration. The wearer cannot cast a spell and release an interval of charge on the same round.

If the spell being held by the gloves allows multiple touch targets, you can't hold the charge of such a spell; you must touch all targets of the spell in the same round that you finish casting the spell. During the wearers turn the held spell can be released as a standard action; acting as it were cast normally with its remaining duration.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, imbue with spell ability; Cost 32,500 gp


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I kinda wish I thought up several ideas rather than going with the first thing off the top of my head.

Twin Star Breastplate
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot armor; Price 42,110 gp; Weight 30 lbs.
Description
Two glowing circles slowly orbit each other on this +3 breastplate. When activated, once per day as a standard action, the circles collide and form a black void, generating a gravitational pulse. All creatures and unattached objects in a 60-foot radius are immediately pulled up to 30 feet closer to the wearer.

Affected creatures can remain stationary as per the reverse gravity spell with a DC 20 Reflex save.

One allied creature that shares a teamwork feat with the wearer can then perform a single standard action to take advantage of the battlefield’s new layout. Only one ally can choose to act. If more than one allies are eligible then the one with the highest initiative modifier, rolling for ties, chooses first.
Construction
Requirements
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, reverse gravity, any teamwork feat; Cost 21,230 gp

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Arkos

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I've got plenty of regrets in this one, though it did make it through all the culls. Silly name, never ending abilities, links to known spells... tear it apart, critics!

Stormleaper’s Greaves
Aura moderate evocation and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot feet; Price 26,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This pair of weathered bronze greaves is made from hundreds of small, dripping leaves fused together in homage to Gozreh. The wearer of Stormleaper’s Greaves can harness the power of the storm, leaping through the sky with hurricane force.

Once per day, the wearer may stormleap for up to ten rounds, bounding through the air as if from stone to stone. A stormleaper gains the ability to fly with a speed of 60 feet but the wearer uses their acrobatics skill in place of the fly skill to perform daring or complex aerial maneuvers. While stormleaping, the wearer is continuously surrounded by a thunderous aura, dealing 1d8 points of sonic damage to any creature within 5 feet unless they succeed at a DC 16 Fortitude save, though a creature may only take this damage once per round. A stormleap ends immediately once the wearer’s feet touch a solid surface.

Once during a stormleap, the wearer may use a standard action to send the furious storm at a single target beneath their feet, dealing 5d6 points of electricity damage unless the target succeeds at a DC 16 Reflex save.

When used outdoors during a storm, Stormleaper’s Greaves become significantly more potent, dealing 2d8 sonic damage instead of 1d8, and 5d10 electricity damage instead of 5d6.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fly, call lightning, sound burst; Cost 13,000 gp

Star Voter Season 7

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Quote:
Vudrani Fighting Rope

I voted for your rope a number of times early in, I thought it was unique, and I've wanted a decent garotte option for years.

The name was clear, the function followed easily. My only issue is that it didnt really pop. There wasnt anything that made me super excited, just "Oh yeah, this should probably be in the base rules for trying to strangle someone."

Silver Crusade

Rebel Mask
Aura faint divination and illusion (glamer) CL 3rd
Slot head Price 4320 gp Weight 1 lb.

Description

Favored by law-defying citizens, rebels, and dissenters, the rebel mask proves useful against enforcers of rigid regimes. Once per day, when activated, this item grants the wearer invisibility as per the spell against creatures with the Lawful alignment descriptor.

These masks come in many variations, though they have often been called Larazod Masks. It is speculated that the original Larazod Mask was created by Wiscrani dissenters who sought to re-enact a subversive version of the play known as the Six Trials of Larazod. When an underground version of the play was disrupted by Hellknights, the masked actors scattered into the crowd, suddenly invisible to authoritarian eyes. Since then, rebel masks with other unique powers have begun appearing throughout Cheliax, each crafted to resemble characters from other famous operas and plays; almost all of them, however, retain the useful ability to suddenly vanish from the view of law-enforcers.

Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect law, invisibility Cost: 2,160 gp


Rich Malena wrote:


Stormleaper’s Greaves

This made it to my keep list because I really liked the visuals of jumping in the air and electricity flowing all around you.

Having its most powerful ability conditional upon the weather may have hurt the item.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
JamesCooke wrote:


Watch of Borrowed Time

I liked this item, upvoted it plenty, and eventually threw it into my item list.

No DC on the sickened effect?

2nd person should be switched to third to conform to Paizo's style.

In the end, using a move action(that basically gets you attacked since it provokes), to steal an opponents move action (maybe) and give it to an ally just doesn't seem worth the price.

Neat idea. I think some altered version of this item would definitely be top 32 worthy.

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka surfbored

Atavar wrote:

Soulrazor

There were a couple of little things that bothered me about this entry.

- no need to put the threat range.
- putting the uses per day in parens.
- requiring seven spells in construction.

But they weren't the real problems as I saw them.

For me, the "insta-kill" nature of the item was a turn off. And why would I want to store the soul and then pass it to someone else? Perhaps if it was focused on a creature type it would've been easier to justify in my mind?

Finally, it was difficult for me to reconcile the soul stealing with the body healing. Does it store souls, or does it store bodies? Both apparently.

For these reasons, this item did not make my keep list, but it wasn't terrible by any means.

Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

This is my second time participating in RPG Superstar. My item in the previous season was the Jackdaw Katabira (remember that? no? good, good, very good), which I didn't submit to the Bash My Item thread, since I was disappointed in my performance. But I am making amends this year, so here it is. Don't mind the aura too much, I originally planned different spell requirements, and somehow forgot to revise the aura; most likely this is because I have the bad habit of submitting the items right off the bat.

There's much I would say about my item, including bad things, but I don't want to influence your critique. So for now thanks.

Wily Mace
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 72,312 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
This +3 heavy mace has five flanges on the iron head and a wooden shaft with elaborately floriated carvings that emit a faint green glow. When held by its leathery hilt, the weapon feels cold.

As a swift action, the wielder can cause the flanged head to become gradually hotter and then cool off in a cycle lasting for 7 rounds, as if affected by the heat metal spell. The cycle will repeat itself perpetually until deactivated using another swift action. However, it must cool off completely before being heated again.

When used like this in combat, the mace deals 1 additional point of damage if it's hot, or 2 additional points if it's searing. If the weapon is searing on a successful critical hit, the target suffers an extra 3d6 points of fire damage, while everyone adjacent to it must make a DC 16 reflex save or take half, as the burst sends small pieces of molten metal in every direction. Following this powerful blast there is a 50% chance of the heat metal spell being cast on one metallic piece of the target's equipment (Will DC 18 negates).

The heat or fire coming from the mace does not harm the wielder.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, heat metal, resist energy, flaming sphere; Cost 36,312 gp


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Brigg wrote:


Cyclonic Darkleaf

Cool armor. I bet this was very close to the top 36.

Probably needs a Fortitude save to avoid the blinding effect even though they failed the Reflex save.

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 9

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Sure, I'll throw mine in as well. I'm honestly shocked I made it to the final cull since I made this in the course of an afternoon on a lark.

Zeitgeist Coin
Aura faint abjuration and transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 10,500 gp; Weight
Description
This large gold coin feels much heavier in the hand then it should, and it gleams like it was just freshly minted. Struck on its faces are the appropriate markings for the nation or city-state that contains the settlement it is attuned to; these markings change in a flash if the coin is re-attuned. When held, the bearer occasionally catches impressions of the attuned settlement, such as a whiff of baking bread from a local baker or the sound of a popular tune being played.

After spending one week in a settlement, the bearer may attune the Zeitgeist Coin to that settlement, thereby removing the attunement to any previous settlement. Once attuned, the bearer of the coin may use the settlement modifiers (Crime, Economy, etc.) of the attuned settlement for skill checks in the place of the settlement modifiers of any settlement they visit. Furthermore, the bearer is under the effect of a constant misdirection effect that targets an average member of the attuned settlement. For practical purposes, this means that the bearer’s alignment appears to match the attuned settlement’s alignment.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, misdirection, cultural adaptation Cost 5,250 gp


Belabras wrote:


Auric Hush

I thought this would sneak into the top 36.

Seems too expensive to be useful for a long time (by then, the Will save is easily made). Using the silence spell would've lowered the price quite a bit.

Marathon Voter Season 9

I'll start out offering critique, since there're already a lot of items up here. My critique isn't worth a massive ton, all things considered, but at least I can explain why I up/downvoted items. I'm open to critiques of my critiques, by the way, if there's anything unhelpful about them.

Atavar wrote:

Soulrazor

Aura strong necromancy and conjuration; CL 18th
Slot none; Price 113,615 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This +1 keen impervious adamantine scimitar contains a black sapphire in its hilt with motes of swirling light. The first soulrazors were wielded by powerful killers who wanted a permanent way to slay their enemies while escaping that fate themselves.

When the wielder confirms a critical hit (15-20/x2) she may choose (three times per day) to force the target to make a DC 23 Will save or have his soul imprisoned within the sapphire. There is no limit to the number of souls it can imprison. Such souls cannot be returned from the dead until freed. Creatures immune to critical hits or lacking a soul are immune to this effect.

Destroying a soulrazor (hardness 24; 26 hp) immediately frees all of its imprisoned souls. Alternatively, the wielder can free a soul as a move action by speaking the soul's name. If the wielder has the ability to cast soul bind then she may cast it as she frees a soul and transfer that soul into another sapphire (no save).

Once per day the wielder may use the soulrazor on herself as a full round action. Doing so briefly obscures the wielder in a cloud of smoke. After the smoke clears others see what appears to be the wielder's corpse. In reality this corpse is a lifeless double of the wielder. This double disappears after one hour. The wielder is subject to a heal spell that heals 110 hp of damage and is temporarily trapped, along with her gear, inside the soulrazor. After one hour the wielder reappears at the soulrazor's current location.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door, fabricate, heal, keen edge, make whole, simulacrum, soul bind; Cost 56,807.5 gp

My main problem with this was just the price—hugely expensive items aren't great for showing creativity, and they aren't very versatile in a game, either.

Other than that, I think the Cost is off (remember that it's not exactly half the Price, since the masterwork weapon expense doesn't get halved). At the end of the day, it's just a soul binding item with a neat Dead Ringer-like effect that probably should have been the item's main shtick. As a sidenote, neither rogues nor assassins are proficient with scimitars, making it a somewhat impractical item for the people I'd expect to want this.

The "fake death" ability was my favorite part of the item, and the reason I did sometimes upvote it despite the vast price and unremarkable main ability.

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka ChesterCopperpot

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Critique away, friends:

Pendant of Hidden Malice
Aura moderate enchantment and illusion; CL 10th
Slot neck; Price 29,000 gp; Weight
Description
This heavy gold amulet depicts a lidded eye embedded in the palm of an open left hand. When the wearer activates the item, the lid opens, revealing a black, opalescent stone veined with crimson and amber. While the eye remains open, the wearer is invisible, as greater invisibility. Each round, the wearer can maintain this invisibility as a free action. When the wearer allows the invisibility to end, or if the invisibility is dispelled, the eye immediately closes. The magic of the amulet can be used for 10 rounds per day. These rounds need not be consecutive.

Should a creature view the wearer while the eye is open, via see invisibility, true seeing, or similar effects, the viewer is beset by ill fortune and must roll twice, taking the worse result, on all ability checks, attack rolls, saving throws, and skill checks it attempts while the open eye is in sight. This is a mind-affecting curse effect that can only be avoided by closing or averting the eyes, as a viewer would a gaze attack. Effects that merely outline the wearer, such as glitterdust and faerie fire, do not trigger this curse, nor do non-visual senses, such as blindsight.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, greater invisibility, ill omen; Cost 14,500 gp

Star Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Even if my item didn't make it longer then to the first cull I'm still very found of it myself :)
Perhaps I'm, as an old hard core AD&D 1st Ed. player/DM, too new to the Pathfinder community and/or the rules to really have grasped it,,,
Please let me know what your thoughts about this item is?

Jar of Fireflies
Aura Moderate Conjuration (creation/summoning) [fire]; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 24.000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
The Jar of Fireflies is a jar of glass sealed with a lid of metal. Five fireflies contained in the jar illuminate it in a spectacular way and makes it to a continuous source of light.
If the fireflies are let out of the jar they transforms to five small flying beetles (Small Fire Elementals) under the control of the jars wielder. The beetles attack targets pointed
out by the holder of the jar, in addition to the description for the beetles (Small Fire Elementals) given in the Pathfinder Bestiary the offense is altered to Melee slam +4 (1d4 plus Burst)
Special Attacks Burst (1d8+8, DC 11), damage caused by a bursting beetle is reduced to half if a successful difficulty check is done. The beetles will hold their attacks or return
to the jar on command from the holder of the jar. If the jar is thrown as a bomb or takes a hard hit for some reason it breaks if a check (Break DC 16) isn't done. If a jar breaks it
will burst into a fireball giving all within a 20 feet radius damage (1d8+8 for each firefly in the jar, DC 15), in addition to a successful reflex check a successful spell resistance check
(if applicable) also reduces the damage from a bursting jar to half. Druids following the goddess of fireflies tends to bee amused of creating these kind of jars.
Construction
Requirements Feats: Spellcraft - Skills: Craft Wondrous Item - Spells: Summon Nature’s Ally VI (1d4+1 Small Fire Elementals),
Fire Seeds (Holly Berry Bombs) – Items: Jar of glass; Cost 12.000 gp

It will be most interesting to vote for best map presented by the remaining few,,,

Silver Crusade Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

I'll have more feedback for everyone this weekend. In the meantime... time to feed the sharks! Rip this apart, please.

Track Record:
Last year, my item survived the cull but did not make top 100. My item this year survived every cull.

Chemist's Retort
Aura faint conjuration; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 12,700 gp; Weight 12 lbs.

Description
The bolt case of this +2 heavy repeating crossbow may, instead of five bolts, be filled with a single flask or vial. Chemist's retort will fire the flask or vial loaded in this fashion as if it were thrown, but the range increment is 50 feet and the weapon's enhancement bonus only applies to your attack roll. Once the bolt case is loaded into the crossbow, this weapon duplicates any flask or vial loaded in this manner with a value of 50 gp or less, and may fire up to five total of any such item before running out and needing to be reloaded. It may fire a similar item of a higher value, but its magic is unable to duplicate such items.

Any time the bolt case is removed from the crossbow, it is empty. Alchemist's bombs (and any concoction that must be used within a round after it is created) are too volatile and become inert once loaded.

Three times per day as a free action, the wielder of chemist's retort may elect to double all damage done by an alchemical item it fires. This choice must be made before the attack is rolled.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magical Arms and Armor, abundant ammunition; Cost 6,700 gp.


Dieben wrote:


Needlenose Arbalest

So gonzo and not my style but I could tell the author had mojo so I upvoted it anyway.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

2 people marked this as a favorite.

This was my first entry for RPG Superstar and I feel honored that I made it as far as I did. Please don't hold back on your critiques! I intend to try again next year and I want to be prepared.

Blackthorn Cudgel
Aura moderate transmutation and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot no; Price 26,450 gp; Weight 3 lbs
Description
This +2 club of wounding is crafted as greenwood, using a blackthorn branch. In this case, many of the thorns are also worked into the grain of the wood. The knobbed head of the blackthorn cudgel displays a dozen prominent needle-sharp thorns, strong enough to pierce armor. On each successful attack, one thorn detaches and becomes embedded in the creature struck. As long as the thorn remains embedded in the creature, it does 1 point of hit point bleed damage. A single embedded thorn can be removed using a move or standard action, but the bleed condition persists for another 3 rounds after the thorn is removed. A blackthorn cudgel regrows lost thorns at a rate of one per minute. Each regrown thorn causes one hit point of damage to the cudgel. After taking 25 hit points of damage, the blackthorn cudgel acquires the broken condition and can no longer regrow any thorns. A blackthorn cudgel loses the wounding feature whenever there are no thorns displayed. A blackthorn cudgel can regain hit points (and will start to regrow thorns) using the standard rules for greenwood weapons.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, thorn body or wall of thorns, bleed; Cost 13,450 gp

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 9

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber

Mask of Cheerful Demeanor
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 4,500 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
When worn, this mask is absorbed into the wearer’s face, leaving no sign of its presence; it remains absorbed until the wearer intentionally removes it (a full-round action that requires both hands), or until the wearer’s death. The wearer’s face always keeps a smile – delighted, sweet, sad, or whatever the situation calls for, but never appearing forced or false. Her voice is cheerful and enthusiastic, and in conversation, her words are naturally positive and inspiring.

The wearer of a mask of cheerful demeanor gains a +5 competence bonus on Diplomacy checks. She also gains a +10 bonus on Bluff checks made for the specific purpose of hiding her own negative emotions (fear, discomfort, anger, etc.) The mask’s effects make it difficult for the wearer to inspire fear in others; she takes a -10 penalty on Intimidate checks, and any fear effect she produces has its DC reduced by 4.

In addition, the wearer gains a +4 morale bonus on saving throws against mind-affecting effects that rely on negative emotions (such as crushing despair, rage, or fear effects). If the wearer is subject to the effects of calm emotions, this morale bonus is suppressed for the duration of that effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, good hope, remove fear, creator must have 5 ranks in the Diplomacy skill; Cost 2,250 gp

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka surfbored

Covent wrote:

Lion’s Roar

I would say you got more things right than wrong on this entry, IMHO.

The theme and writing were cohesive, although there were a few things that bothered me...

- "Softly warm to the touch" is not how I want my greatswords.
- "melodious cadence" is odd indeed. So much so, I can't imagine it.
- Piling on the weapon attributes is a red flag for me. It makes me wonder if you need a crutch.
- The greater heroism needed a range (e.g. all allies within 30 feet).

Despite these problems this entry got at least one upvote from me.

Marathon Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Covent wrote:
Lion’s Roar

Right off the bat, while the links are nice, linking to the alignment page just seems like a waste of time. Save the links for spells.

I liked the idea of this item—dispelling fear, an occasional "ignores DR" ability—but it almost felt like it didn't need to be aligned. It comes off as a paladin weapon, too, which synergizes poorly with the "divine power" ability (paladins already get a "ignore DR" ability, and it's much better).

Also, you didn't need the last paragraph. You could have summed up that information in the first one, and you pretty solidly implied it, anyways.

Jerry Keyes wrote:
Glove of the Severed Servant

I liked this item. I think it was unfortunate that another "hand item turns into crawling hand" item came in this year, but I actually thought both were pretty good. It was also one of the better self-mutilation items.

The "deliver touch spells" ability is fairly limited as a one-off ability. I can't decide if I like that or not.

It would have been nice if the barbs had played some role even after the hand was severed—increasing the crawling hand's damage, giving it bleed or an Attach ability, that sort of thing. But that's minor. Your links were very useful and very well-placed.

I dug this item, but it didn't feel like it did very much unique. Maybe that's because of the aforementioned counterpart.

faxmachineanthem wrote:
Green Flash

First, I think you made the Price/Cost mistake—Cost shouldn't be exactly half of the Price with a weapon, since the cost for the masterwork weapon itself isn't halved.

The flavor of this item is cool and clever and pretty. Sadly, it pretty much already exists. This is a well-fluffed combination of true strike with the limning weapon quality. Allowing the wielder to ignore all but total cover is a nice touch, and it's a neat weapon, but the effects simply don't stand out—and can be acquired much cheaper.

I liked the item and upvoted it often, but I feel like it would have flown better overall if limning didn't exist.

Star Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

JJ Jordan wrote:

Twin Star Breastplate

I thought the visuals were good and the additional ability to allow an ally with a teamwork feat to act was very fitting with the "Twin" theme. This was actually the first item on my keep list and I'm mildly disappointed voting went the other way.

Why not let the wearer of the armor choose which ally acts? I can see some funny/tragic scenarios where allies with the same teamwork feat argue with each other over who gets to act- so perhaps it'd be better to let the wearer choose instead. Arbitration over committee and all that jazz.

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