Clockwork Librarian

Robby the Robot's page

44 posts. Alias of Mairkurion {tm}.


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ALL HAIL, PMG!


::Safety Dances through section::


Morbeus...


You summoned me, Morpheus?


I hardly use it myself, sir...it promotes rust.


Grue in the Attic wrote:
Robby the Robot wrote:
Grue in the Attic wrote:
*stows away in hovecraft trunk*
Dr. Dei, please press the "Shred" button behind your seat. It activates the giant wood chipper that is located in the rear compartment that the Grue mistook for a trunk.

Grhrrgggraghhrhhgbrbbrbbrbblrbblbbl! SCREEEEEE!!

*scrambles away from blades and clutches to the bottom of the hovercraft*

Scraps the top of rock plateau, leaving grue stains behind for half a mile.


Grue in the Attic wrote:
*stows away in hovecraft trunk*

Dr. Dei, please press the "Shred" button behind your seat. It activates the giant wood chipper that is located in the rear compartment that the Grue mistook for a trunk.

As for the punch, I'll be glad to have Morpheus recommend an anger management seminar for you. In my case, you are lucky that I do not have human emotions.


Tarren Dei wrote:
Robby the Robot wrote:
Tarren Dei wrote:
Keaton Bloodfang wrote:
Tarren Dei wrote:

* Bullrush attempt to move the possibly sparkling vampire and climb into the hovercraft *

1d20+13

EDIT: Bye-bye Sparkles.

And to think I tried to help you earlier. Twice.

A good vampire? A vampire with a heart? Gag!

"Say, Robby, do you have any weapons on this thing?"

I rarely use them myself, Sir: they promote violence. However, there is a triple saw bladed, rapid action cow pusher mounted on the front of the craft, which can also be electrified.
Cow pusher? Did you say COW PUSHER!!?!

It is a technical term, Sir, not to be taken literally. I meant no disrespect.


Tarren Dei wrote:
Keaton Bloodfang wrote:
Tarren Dei wrote:

* Bullrush attempt to move the possibly sparkling vampire and climb into the hovercraft *

1d20+13

EDIT: Bye-bye Sparkles.

And to think I tried to help you earlier. Twice.

A good vampire? A vampire with a heart? Gag!

"Say, Robby, do you have any weapons on this thing?"

I rarely use them myself, Sir: they promote violence. However, there is a triple saw bladed, rapid action cow pusher mounted on the front of the craft, which can also be electrified.


Keaton Bloodfang wrote:
Tarren Dei wrote:

* Bullrush attempt to move the possibly sparkling vampire and climb into the hovercraft *

1d20+13

EDIT: Bye-bye Sparkles.

*shadowy wings burst from shoulders*

*flies back to hovercraft*

And to think I tried to help you earlier. Twice.

*uses giant warhammer to smash the hovercraft propulsion systems.*

Shielding, stable.

I believe it is time for us to leave, Dr. Dei.

Powers hovercraft away in a blast of sand and heat waves


Flips switch which sends 20,000 watts of electricity through the exterior of the hovercraft, at a high frequency of alternating current.

Hold your nose, sir. Sizzling undead tend to offend the olfactory sensibilities of most carbon-based life forms...


DANGER! DANGER! DANGER, TARREN ROBINSON!


Tarren Dei wrote:
Keaton Bloodfang wrote:
Robby the Robot wrote:

I attempted to warn you, Tarren Dei. Your fire arms will be of limited application in the destruction of zombies. Please get in the hovercraft, while there is yet hope.

{clickety-clickety-clickety}

Yes, it is much safer up here with the robot and I. Hurry, lest the zombiez confuse you by dancing!
One question, Bloodfang, do you sparkle?

Robots gleam in the sun, however, we do not Sparkle. Also a vampire appears to be trying to infiltrate the hovercraft. Dr. Dei, please assist him to exit with your horns as you climb in. Morpheus said nothing about taking on vampires.


I attempted to warn you, Tarren Dei. Your fire arms will be of limited application in the destruction of zombies. Please get in the hovercraft, while there is yet hope.

{clickety-clickety-clickety}


One-Of-Many wrote:

ACTIVATING LIMOUSINE TRACKING DEVICE.

DOWNLOADING COORDINATES TO OPERATIVE CODENAME ROBBY.

TRANSMISSION COMPLETE. LOCK ONLINE. TRACK ONLINE.

Received interfering Borg transmission. Transmitting false coordinates. Proceeding with attempted rescue mission. Increase speed of hovercraft.

Attention, Tarren Dei! You are in DANGER!!!


Dr Dei has ignored my warning! I shall pursue the limo to try to keep him from coming to harm at the teeth of his zombie driver.

Speeds off in hot pursuit.


Speeds into thread in hovercraft.

WARNING! WARNING!

Do NOT get in that limo!!!


Telegram delivery for Tarren Dei.

Spoiler:

*****WESTERN UNION*********************
*******************TELEGRAM***********************

Tarren Dei
Besieged by Zombies, Canada

Urgent STOP Hear you are still undergoing siege STOP
Send word if help is needed STOP Zombie infestations suck END

Mairkurion


Robotic post :]


BLOG wrote:
Baria's Ilizmagorti&mdashconcepts

Warning! Warning! Em-dash malfunction!


Moderation is acceptable. Persistence is inevitable. Paula Abdul is forgettable.


Are you sure you're not a cypoodle?


Imitation is the sincerest form of roboflattery. Now, hand over the one you call 7of9 and no one gets hurt.


Returns Jacks to the thread.

Gentlemen, please stop playing with the communications device. I am returning you to your thread, as most of you do not seem to be up to a roadtrip, anymore. I have never heard such complaints about my driving. The master will have to find other recipients for his offer.

clicking and whirling.


Maybe the answer may be found by the Jacks who are journeying with Robby?


Not that inoccent. wrote:

*face turns red*

The fat?, quite globular? Now you better say something nice about these or I swear I'll use them to incite your passengers to throw you out of there!

Madam, you seem to be suffering from a sudden flush...perhaps your temperature needs to be monitored, or you have gone too long without the application of protective ointments against ultra-violet rays.

I mean no offense, but as a robot, the secondary sexual characteristics of organic creatures have no effect on me. Please do not rob my passengers of their pilot, I am on an important mission and their safe return is my responsibility. Perhaps this gift card to an establishment known as "Lavender's Lil's Secret" will be a compensation for any inadvertent trouble I may have caused you.


My analysis of the fat in their upper torsos is consistent with a healthy lifestyle and strong maternalistic genes...and consistent with the noticeable grins on the male denizens faces.

Thank you madam. They are quite globular. My passengers seem rather interested in them.


I am afraid the vehicle is filled to capacity...especially if I am to replicate some of this liquid to which you seem so attached. However, on our way back, I may drop any of you off here instead of your thread of origin.


Should Robby give up? No Jacks ever show up in the next thread as he travels. Maybe timing is just bad.


Lady and Gentlemen, below are some of the jumping denizens of the thread. I have not yet analyzed their purpose.


Robby's vehicle went this way.


How many movies and series were these obscure, and in one case, irritating, robots in?


Denizens of the Too Long Forum, I am merely passing through with my Jack passengers. Do not be alarmed.


A craft blasts it's way into the thread with a sonic boom.

Gentlemen, this is the largest thread in your system. My master has called it "The Vast Rambling Thread." It is still a young thread.


Hold on, gentlemen. We are about to accelerate into another thread. Try not to fall out of the craft. I warn you...in some, you will see terrible things before we reach our destination.


Given a sample, I have the ability to synthesize most materials.


Brace yourselves, gentlemen.

Robby's craft lifts up and achieves an incredible velocity almost instantly, blowing dust and Twiki out of the thread. The Jacks thus begin their incredible journey into the Outer Threads.


551 and counting.

There is no shame in admitting the obvious.


If you do not speak English, I am at your disposal with 187 other languages along with their various dialects and sub-tongues.

As for noobs, Twiggy is the poster child for robotic noobery next to my old school authenticity. It is also the exemplar of base plot stupidity and desperate grasping for comic relief. Something with which I have reason to believe you are on intimate terms.

Shall we be going, gentleman?


clicking

whirling

Passengers will please fasten their seat belts.


clicking

whirling

Will you get in, gentlemen?


clicking

whirling

I seldom use it myself, sir. It promotes rust.


clicking

whirling

For your convenience, I am monitored to respond to the name "Robby."


As the dust draws near, it's apparent it is some kind of transport. When it stops, a robot exits the vehicle.

clicking, whirling, beeping

Greetings, Gentleman.

clicking, whirling, beeping