Rabbitball's page

Two items with P alliteration in the name, what are the odds? Probably pathetic, but possibly plentiful. Picks the poor performer for painful purging.

Was the poor performer purged by popping pepper popovers in its perpetually probing proboscis?

Let's not be too hasty; I've added two items in the last hour myself.

I dedicate this title to my complete lack of a life right now... :P

Greenwood, darkwood, olivewood...I'm seeing all the woods lately.

That wood happen to you...

I've been desperately looking for a sun item to praise.

Sun for the Sun God

He is the Sun god! He is the fun god! Ra! Ra! Ra!

If I have befriended a powerful enough caster to make this item, I am too powerful myself to find it useful.

If I downvote you again, WILL YOU PLEASE GO AWAY???

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

No, just no. The slayer and investigator already killed the rogue and took all his stuff. Then he was reincarnated as unchained. Stop trying to kill him again with rogue-in-cans.

Look at it this way, with all the cleric-in-cans, rogue-in-cans, and the occasional wizard-in-cans a fighter could solo any Adventure Path!

:D

That's it! Next year I'm making a fighter-in-a-can! :P

I never knew the word "wondrous" could be misspelled in so many ways...

You ought to be full of cephaloathing right now. You slimy git.

No cephaloathing for me, sir! I'm a very hard worker!

Landon Cole wrote:

Template Fu wrote:

Zerri wrote:

Well hopefully my totally not an artifact, didn't have some 'major' mistake that got it cut down so soon. That would be more than a 'minor' inconvenience on the road to becoming RPG superstar.

Cause we clearly need more 'meta' artifact jokes....

I'll see myself out.

But, but, isn't round 2, the map round also known as the arty facts round? Badum tish!

Groan...

That's almost as bad as my joke this evening as we explored a ruined building. 'One does not simply walk through more doors'.

I think you meant to say "as great as my joke." Puns are never bad!

I am known as an invertebrate punster—spinelessly unable to resist making a pun. So slug me!

I submitted a little while ago—not saying when exactly—and now just have to get ready and do my finger stretches for voting!

(You'd be amazed how easy it is for them to just cramp up on you after only a couple thousand votes! :D )

It could be worse. You might have developed kidney failure... :P

Rabbitball wrote:

I'm taking self-defenestration classes at the moment. It's a pane in the glass...

Ba dum tish!

Well, I had to take the window of opportunity presented.

I'm taking self-defenestration classes at the moment. It's a pane in the glass...

I find it fascinating that my item was one of the first mentioned as an "I'm shocked this wasn't in" comment. Here goes...

Tatiana’s Turtle Tureen

Aura faint conjuration (creation) and transmutation (fire); CL 5th
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
The first decree of Empress Tatiana was for her cook to serve turtle soup every day. As the turtle supply dwindled, he commissioned this item.

This ceramic tureen is shaped like a large turtle with oversized head and flippers. The flippers detach to serve as soup bowls and the head detaches to form a ladle. A handled lid seals the tureen for transport. The inner surfaces are plated in 14 karat gold. It holds a gallon of soup; enough to feed 8-10 medium-sized creatures.

Activating the tureen when there is food inside causes that food to be imprinted for later activations, removing any other imprint. The imprint notes the method and quality of the cooking, the temperature of the food, and its general size and composition. Although the tureen was designed for soup, any food (including attached bones) can be imprinted.

Activating the tureen without food inside copies the imprinted food, making as much as will fit inside. It will not pull meat off bones or cut whole items into pieces to make more fit, but if the imprinted food was prepared a certain way, so will the copy.

Food inside any part of the tureen is kept at the imprinted temperature. The food lasts 24 hours before spoiling. The tureen can be used once per day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create food and water, heat metal, creator must have 2 ranks in the Profession (cook) skill; Cost 2,500 gp

I cast every vote I could for the Cheese Wheel of Fortune. You're welcome.

Only SKR knows the accuracy of this story, and I doubt he will tell us, but the way I heard it was this:

The gods of Paizo said to the Work Gopher, "You are Gopher. Your job is to provide labor and tireless service for the Judges. Your term shall be 15 years."

And the gopher said, "This is too long; please only give me five." And it was so.

Then the gods said to the Typing Monkey, "You are Monkey. Your job is to type snarky comments about everything the Judges choose to do. Your term shall be 30 years."

And the monkey said, "This is too long; please only give me 20." And it was so.

Then the gods said to the Watchdog, "You are Dog. Your job is to look for those who slander the Judges and refute them with your voice. Your term shall be 25 years."

And the dog said, "This is too long; please only give me 15." And it was so.

Finally, the gods said to SKR, "You are Man. You are to rule the Judges and be respected by all. Your term will be five years."

And SKR said, "This isn't enough time! All those other animals gave back years; add them to me." And it was so.

And that is why SKR spent the first five years ruling over the judges. Now he is entering the 10 years of tireless labor the Gopher gave up, to be followed by a decade of snarky comments and another 10 years of barking at people.

Once this is posted, I will have cast my last vote in this year's Round 1. I don't know if I will make Top 32, but it has been fun seeing what items people have done.

If you voted for my item, thank you. Of course, you won't know if you did until later, so I will assume you did and thank you anyway. If not, no worries. I am actually hoping to have published enough by next year's contest to be rendered ineligible regardless of the outcome.

Good luck to everyone!

Nickolas Floyd wrote:

Azouth wrote:

I think a class item designed for the class is ok, but it another thing to give a class an item that counters a balancing weakness of the class. Same with giving its core strength to another class.

Totally. An item that gives any class an ability of another class or replaces the need for a specific class in an adventuring party should be defenestrated immediately. As should items that shore up specific class weaknesses. Lame.

+1

For the use of one of my favorite words defenestrated.

I was thinking about taking a self-defenestration class..., but the window of opportunity passed. ;)

Learned two new words. That's always a plus.

Also learned that if you read the same word over and over often enough, it ceases to have meaning and becomes an annoying noise.

spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspam...

No one expects the Spammish Repetition! ;)

While I liked the cubes, I thought they needed too much GM work to use. Items shouldn't take that much work to use in game.

While I understand the problem of having 15 (or in the case of alternate Cubes, 21) results that the GM needs to prepare for, I was willing to deal with it because of two factors. First, the process was straightforward so after a single "Loading Screen" time, the monster block was available and usable. And second, if a GM is going to put the Cubes into a game, the work could be done off camera. Now you have 15 extra monsters to use in a game, and a single wondrous item explains them. So while it's an initial investment of time up front, the payoff of having created a spiderape or rhinoceraptor is well worth it.

I have to say I liked the Cubes of Crossbreeding. Not only were they fun, but the mechanics for crossing the two species were really easy and wouldn't bog down the game. Plus, you get to roll more dice, and who doesn't like that?

Thanks for the nod to my cubes! Despite my nonstop voting for several days, I never saw them pop up. I am already working on next year's submission, thanks to some great ideas I've seen pop up here.