Oh! Udo! You’re...right there... Haha! Didn’t see you over the sand dunes! Haha! I was just saying that you and that other dwarf fellow should be able to command the port without me in the way...
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The dwarves should be able to run Safi without my guidance in, oh... a few moons... they aren’t as daft as most dwarves, these blokes... Then, I’ll act as ambassador to Avalon from The Freed Safi... I may be able to muster some support and rally a few Fey allies to lend their aid to this new venture...
Yes, sir, I have. In gratitude for the freedom you have restored to me, and in admiration of your brave deeds, I offer this loot as tribute to you and your companions, to do with it what seems meet to you. I already have fine enough equipment, anyway, and have little need of this dark elf assassin’s panoply...
He had this... replies Plad, showing Wulfgar the rolled up carpet of flying, elven chain armor, adamantine +1 corrosive rapier named ”Bilethorn”, dagger of venom named ”Adder’s Tongue”, cloak of elvenkind, boots of elvenkind, belt of physical might +2, amulet of natural armor +1, ring of protection +1, ring of featherfalling, onyx-lensed goggles, masterwork blowgun and venom-coated darts (22), and bag of holding (IV) looted from the dark elf assassin’s corpse.
Whispered in Elvish, in dying Spinner’s ear: Tell Demogorgon to tell his mother I said hello... Plad kisses the drow’s forehead and lets him slump over on the floating carpet...
Flipping over the dark elf and magic carpet in an aerial acrobatic display of high elven dexterity, Plad is suddenly at the drow’s back, plunging his blazingly radiant Sunblade through the assassin’s haversack and torso! His dancing sword, Tarantella, beheads the gasping, wide-eyed dark elf! Then you are more accustomed to getting stuck from behind, yes, my traitorous brethren?
In Elvish: Ah! Good! I was afraid you’d die too quickly, spider-fondler!
Plad’s keen ears perk at a subtle sound—the sharp exhalation of a blowgun to the north—and his sharp elven eyes spy a dark elf crouching upon a flying carpet about a bow shot away, blowgun to mouth! The dark elf had just struck the kitsune harem girl with a poisoned dart! She collapsed with a small yelp and began spasming violently! The dark elf then swiftly drank a potion retrieved from his haversack, vanishing carpet and all! Drow! Svartalfar! An assassin? Hired by the emir? In Elvish, he calls out loudly: Peekaboo, Night-Crawler! I saw that, you kin-slaying, demon-buggering tunnel fairy! Casting a spell to see invisibility followed by a spell to fly, he flies off the crenellated catwalk toward where he knew the invisible drow was hovering upon his magic carpet!
Plad continues to drive the thralls on the battlements before his Sunblade and dancing sword Tarantella, pushing them back into the upper levels of the towers... In Elvish: Back, you pigs! Back into the shadows like the cockroaches you are!
Hearing Corinne’s call and seeing her flare, the high elf replies: Good! Don’t burn it down, we will need it later when the keep is ours!
Nimbly blade-dancing along a crenellated catwalk near the main gatehouse, his enchanted dancing longsword Tarantella knocking thralls unconscious with the flat of its blade while he wields his sunblade Dazzlebrand with blinding speed, Plad commands the gladiators with expert authority and charisma. In English: Once more into the breach, my friends! For the Desert Jackals who gave you freedom! Do not fail our saviors! Let us be worthy of their heroism with our own glorious deeds! Press on! Fear not! If you fall in righteous battle, the gods will embrace you in paradise!
To Wulfgar in English: If you’d like a diversion, I can lead the attack on the walls... I’d let Achiko and O’Reilly scale the walls at postern gate and anterior gate, open both, and then split the gladiators and combat-worthy harem girls between the two gates... We’d do our best to subdue the thralls instead of killing them, but that depends on them yielding instead of fighting to the death, of course...
As the elf doesn't seem interested in any stories Altin has to offer, he enquires further about Avalon. "Tell me about your homeland, master elf. I would very much like to see it one day, though I know my chances are slim. It seems like a kind of heaven to me, moreso than the place the Christians drone on about." Avalon is the Blessed Isle of Apples, where there is no plague or other diseases. Herds of unicorns run free and wild over rolling hills covered with clover, and drink from pools of ambrosia. Morganna the Fey and her sisters rule over the Seelie Court of Avalon, and the King of Men known as Arthur reposes there in fairy slumber, slowly regenerating from his mortal wounds at Camlan. Old Merlin sometimes visits, of course, though recently, the poor old cambion was imprisoned in the dungeons of Mephistopheles in the Eighth Canto of Hell... That must have been a torment... But he was freed by Nicolas Flamel and the Lucky Fools, fortunately... But I digress! Avalon is indeed a land of milk and honey!
As Wulfgar drops back and takes over the conversation with Achiko before it even begins, Altin smiles to himself. He likes to have all the women's attention, does friend Wulfgar. Turning to Plad, he enquires, "What's your story, master elf? From where do you hail?" I sailed on an astral barge from the demiplane of Avalon to this Middle World on holiday when mankind was devestated by the Black Plague, unfortunately... That was not a fragrant time, I promise you. The hygiene of these Neanderthals is atrocious, frankly, and I beg your pardon. Don’t ask me why I ever agreed to it, but I became embroiled in the petty wars between the English and the French. They are both full of crap, honestly, but I chose the side of England and fought at Agincourt and Orléans. The elf prattles on and on about battles and the Plague, eventually getting to the part where he was captured by the Arabs in the Holy Land...
Plad launches an arrow that sinks into the other guard's chest!
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Plad grabs his belly and laughs hard at the two prone dwarves...
The elf’s keen ears easily hear the trouble brewing below... The harem girls are in trouble! To arms, mates! Plad nimbly springs out the window, feather falling gently to land in the garden between the harem girls and the big cat his elven eyes descried in the darkness of a nearby jacaranda...
Come, ladies! Down the rope you go, loves! The galliant elf magus helps the dozen harem girls climb out the window and descend the rope...
The high elf of Avalon races to join the ninja and helps her tie two silk comforters together...
The high elf looks down his nose at the mountain dwarves, and sighs. He bows to his liberators and speaks in a melodious voice in English: I do hope the plan is to mete out just vengeance against this deplorable emir and his minions... I’ll even fight at the side of these dwarves, if so...
Yet another gladiator is an exotic and comely high elf of Avalon who was unfortunate enough to be captured by the Arabs while on holiday... He is clad in glittering mail like fine mesh of star silver, and is armed with a longbow and quiver of arrows, with a slim longsword in a jeweled scabbard at his waist...
Plad had tried to edge in on the monstrous Croaker in the Mangroves, but those crushing tentacles did him in.... The life was squeezed out of the elf by the mighty brute!
Didn't you just eat an entire pound of fudge you found in that candy shop, Udo? Plad grins at the plump dwarf, marveling at his appetite....
They are the food!!! We are the hunters!!! Uh-oh, she said food.... I'll wager Udo is thinking about some food right now.... Hehehe! That fellow can plow through the provender!
Frey's sword, look at 'im go! I never would've thought such stocky legs could kick like that!.... HAHAHAHAHA!!.... Look at 'is beard! Even his beard dances! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Bravo! Bravo, you spinning, kicking, beard-wagging dwarf! Tears stream down Plad's smiling face as he laughs himself hoarse at the dwarf's antics....
In German: Dwarven dances? This I must see! And a few steins of beer should only make the spectacle more hilarious! The slender elf magus chuckles at the scowl that crosses Udo's face.... |