Paladin Falls Enforcement Squad's page

18 posts. Alias of Garbage-Tier Waifu.


It’s also Paladin Debate Bingo Night, so the order is really looking forward to some good wholesome fun after a long day of battling the forces of disorder.

I look forward to the day when the Paladin blog is released. I shall have a lot of work on my hands, but my work is fulfilling. Needed.

The day started with many paladins. The day shall end with far less.

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The law is all that matters. If goblins can make for mighty paladins, and keep with their oaths, then I see no issue here. I welcome them to our ranks!

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I think a few of you really need to re-read your Paladin Oaths. Flagrant misconduct right throughout this thread. Dreadful. You even brought anime into this, of all things! Anime!

If any of you were paladins before, you aren't anymore, buckos!

Lathiira wrote:
Isonaroc wrote:
Is it weird that I really want to start an argument with the people from 5 years ago claiming a Paladin should fall for Attacking under the effect of antagonize?
Not really. There's been a few less 'does the paladin fall' threads lately, so it makes sense that nature is working to restore the balance by tempting you to make this thread all about that.

Hey, this stuff keeps me employed! If there were no paladins to fall, I'd be out of a job enforcing them. That means getting sent to one of the other hellknight orders. And those guys are scary! Have you even seen the signifiers?

I don't like black lipstick, it clashes with my skin tone! I prefer coral blue number five.

I'm here to make an announcement.

Having mulled the situation over, we've concluded that the paladin, having killed a creature that was most certainly evil but had surrendered to the paladin in an act begging for mercy, has violated code.

Which code? Well, we don't know which code actually. But we definitely know that given certain circumstances, in some regions, following some gods, that the paladin has fallen from grace. But, in other circumstances, they would not have.

What we are proposing is a paladin dishonour/honour regional instigation, where the paladin will be considered fallen in areas primarily venerating a particular god who possesses a paladin order who would have abhorred the idea of their paladins killing a surrendered foe. In instances where the code would have allowed the execution, they have instead not fallen and can continue to operate as normal within this region. In areas without such deities in power, the paladin is to operate on the presumption that they have fallen, but they are allowed their divine powers should the need arise.

We believe, or at least the higher ups believe, this will ensure confusion is kept to a minimum but punishment is just and fair where applicable.

Personally I just want to throw this paladin into jail, but apparently my opinion doesn't matter. Honestly, I'm not paid enough for this s*#!....

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Frankly, any paladin worth his salt would fall on his sword should he learn that his entire anatomy be poisonous to another creature. Wouldn't want some accidental nips to result in a poisoning, now would we? That's simply DISHONOURABLE towards the horrid creature trying to eat you and the village people.

I'd also expect the same thing of any paladin caught with poison in their bloodstream! Imagine if a creature were to bite them in this moment and accidentally ingest their poison-riddled blood! Even if they chances of said poison actually transferring to the biter are next to impossible, it is simply UTTERLY UNSPORTSMANLIKE for the paladin to not then inform the biter that they are currently poisoned and that they might be exposed.

Even if they inform the biter, the paladin should IMMEDIATELY FALL FROM GRACE for having blood in their system in the first place!

It is only right and just, of course. You have Lay on Hands for a reason you know!

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Kobold Cleaver wrote:
How many goblin babies did he land on?

Like, five or six, my dude.

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No. He hovers. But due to his flagrant disregard for gravity, he has broken the laws of physics.

Then he falls.

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I sure do love these threads. It makes my job SO MUCH EASIER, I gotta tell ya.

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Valinor, the Dragonhunter wrote:

Oh, there was some kind... Ouch... of Hydra god who... ouch, who was not really a god, and... ouch!!

Can you stop smiting me? That hurts a lot!!! I am starting to think you are a dragon!
However, as Reya has said, all that beheading nonsense were their stupid rules and... OUCH!!! Not there! NOT THERE!!!

You should be more thankful that I'm using my compliance stick! Imagine if I was using the enforcement broom! Then you'd have something to complain about! TAKE THAT! humiliation damage: 1d2 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7


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Tableflip McRagequit wrote:

Hey, I hear ya. Sometimes a GM will claim your paladin fell because he forgot to say "god bless" after an NPC sneezed

To leave a poor innocent without the blessings of a paladin to ensure their soul does not shoot out of their nasal cavity upon a sneeze? Why, I could not think of a more DIABOLICAL act of callus disregard for the spiritual safety of the innocent.

You're going to big house, busto!

Hellknight #685,340 wrote:
I don't get all the hubub about evil spells. They're not chaotic or anything crazy like that. I know lots of devils, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't give us a spell that had any nasty consequences.

Well, you see, fellow hellknight. It's of particular importance for paladins. Due to the way their code of conducts works, they aren't allowed access to such spells. It isn't so much as an ethical breach but a contractual one, though paladins specifically see it as an ethical one. But if a paladin DOES breach this contract, that means we need to step in and ENFORCE THE LAW. Once you have worked in this job as long as I have, you begin to more easily appreciate the differences between the two.

That's how we keep track of everything around here! We live in a bureaucratic democracy, don't you know!

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Oh, well, I would hate to inform everyone that I have allowed for the execution of the butcher for improperly pricing his meat according to weight variance in accordance to local pricing by weight.

He was a wrongdoer. His chicken thighs reeked of evil. The paladin of Ragathiel explained it as such and showed me his certificate in lawful executions and everything. It all checked out to me!

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Valinor, the Dragonhunter wrote:
Paladin Falls Enforcement Squad wrote:

Unlawful slaughtering of an intelligent creature without proper permission from the local regent and necessary permits?

You can make your excuses to the judge, buddy! You're off to the big house!

But I've also killed the local regent! Am I the new local regent? I suppose I should punish myself... OK! My penance will be to hunt more nasty dragons!

You don't just become the new regent because you killed the last one! That's not basis for a fair and equitable system of government! What if I just went around lopping off the head of every government official I didn't like? Well sir, I'd be able to dictate whatever I wanted. Up until some other blighter came up and cut my head off. Why, that would be anarchy! And anarchy VIOLATES YOUR PALADIN CODE!


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Jader7777 wrote:

"Oh, our healing not good enough for you eh? Your blue blood just can't take our pleb medicine, huh?"

"I'm a cleric of Serenrae, I'll just use my cure ligh-"

"Wrong! Wrong economic answer!!"

By the LAW (Laws as Written) it is incredibly unmerciful and selfish to refuse healing to/from teammates in need, since that means you have a much lesser chance of surviving to do good in the world and thus are violating your clerical code of conduct , also known as the CCoC. It is a far more variable but much less flexible form of the paladin code of ethics , or the PCoE. This code must be followed by all clerics of good aligned gods, or they immediately fall and are also never allowed to retrain or multiclass. This is to ensure a THOROUGH PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR MISDEEDS.

But, also by LAW, it is very evil to accept infernal healing in the first place, as you just pumped into your body devil blood!

So it looks like either way YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, BUB.

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Valinor, the Dragonhunter wrote:

Well, I am the "Dragonhunter", not the "Dragonslayer". I am not a monster, you know!

And the one I've killed was a red nasty dragon who was enslaving a lot of people and preparing a full-scale invasion. And I needed to show off in front of my girlfriend. Totally righteous, you see!

Unlawful slaughtering of an intelligent creature without proper permission from the local regent and necessary permits?

You can make your excuses to the judge, buddy! You're off to the big house!