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Rogue Elf

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699 posts. Alias of The Morphling.


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Search Space Tyrant Zordlon's posts:


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What? FREE?! Could the dire and dreadful wards around ZORDLON'S Obsidian Oubliette have failed?

Impossible - no, I know what's happened. One of you dribbling imbeciles has bungled their job A-GAIN. Gah!!
Deep 6 FaWtL
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Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Speaking of poorly-thought-out critters, I'm looking at boggards right now.

A force of around 40 boggards seems nigh unstoppable.

Round 1:
(First 20 boggards): We delay until after the other 20 have gone
(Second 20 boggards): We all move within 30' of the enemy and croak. Make 20 Will saves!
-- wait for the inevitable 1 --
Now you're shaken!
(First 20 boggards): Now we move in and croak! Make 20 Will saves!
-- wait for the inevitable 1 --
Now you're frightened!

It's just one of those abilities that sounds really cool when you're dealing with ONE boggard, but even a small group of them (say 4-5) turns into an amazingly annoying series of saves...

A force of 40 anything should be unstoppable.

QUAKE AND TREMBLE, MISERABLE INSECTS! ZORDLON SPITS AT YOUR FUSION-POWERED PLANET-KILLERS - PTUH!

HE SPITS AT YOUR TWIN-LINKED RAILGUN EQUIPPED MECHS - PTUH! PTUH!
HE SPITS AT YOUR NEEDLEGUN-TOTING PHASE ASSASSINS - PTUH! PTUH! PTUH! - WITH A DERISIVE SNEER ON HIS DARKLY HANDSOME FACE, FOR ZORDLON HAS NOT COME ALONE, NO NO- BEHOLD ZORDLON'S CRACK TEAM OF 40 ONE-EYED CHIHUAHUA PUPPIES AND WEEP! WEEEEEEEP!!!!

Last one to post wins

IT IS CHER.
Last one to post wins

ZORDLON CHALLENGES MALVEL TO A NO-HOLDS-BARRED UFC CAGE FIGHT, ON TUESDAY, IN THE FRESH PRODUCE AISLE OF HIS LOCAL 'WHOLE FOODS'.

ZORDLON UNDERSTANDS IF MALVEL IS TOO TERRIFIED TO ACCEPT.
Deep 6 FaWtL
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ZORDLON IS DISAPPOINTED THAT HIS 'BUILD A (SPACE) BUGBEAR ARMY' FRANCHISE IDEA NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND.

HE WOULD ALSO NOT OBJECT TO PAYING HIS AGE IN SPACE POUNDS FOR THE ABOVE, SINCE £20,170 FOR AN ENTIRE ARMY IS VERY REASONABLE IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

FEAR ZORDLON, BECAUSE HE NEVER MISSES A BARGAIN.

HE SAVES MONEY BY NOT WEARING CLOTHES.

FEAR ZORDLON.
Last one to post wins

RETALIATION? PAH! ZORDLON LAUGHS AT YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS AT DETERRENCE, LIKE THIS:

TEE HEE HEE.
Deep 6 FaWtL
6 people marked this as a favorite.
Captain ? wrote:

In the Pathfinder CRB one of the suggested names for a male elf is Zordlon.

Which only opens up the question, how would you make Zordlon, the elf.

KNEEL BEFORE ZORDLON!!!

That was worth waiting for, wasn't it?