Mr. Badger's page

I'm sure we'd all feel better after a nice breakfast.

Hee-hee! I'm a badger and I love being annoying! Tee-hee!

Has anyone seen my old friend Taig?

Nope, still showing a post count...

Top of the page though.

<Rages nakedly>

Everybody's doing a brand new dance now...

C'mon baby, do the naked rager!

I imagine there'll be some new badgers around now. Good thing the tomatoes are coming along so well. Think I'll fry some zucchini blossoms up.

The Badger's winter stores, which indeed were visible everywhere, took up half the room—piles of apples, turnips, and potatoes, baskets full of nuts, and jars of honey...

the two tired animals came down to breakfast very late next morning, and found a bright fire burning in the kitchen, and two young hedgehogs sitting on a bench at the table, eating oatmeal porridge out of wooden bowls. The hedgehogs dropped their spoons, rose to their feet, and ducked their heads respectfully as the two entered.
"There, sit down, sit down," said the Rat pleasantly, "and go on with your porridge. Where have you youngsters come from? Lost your way in the snow, I suppose?"
"Yes, please, sir," said the elder of the two hedgehogs respectfully. "Me and little Billy here, we was trying to find our way to school—mother would have us go, was the weather ever so—and of course we lost ourselves, sir, and Billy he got frightened and took and cried, being young and faint-hearted. And at last we happened up against Mr. Badger's back door, and made so bold as to knock, sir, for Mr. Badger he's a kind-hearted gentleman, as every one knows—" [&#8201;114&#8201;] "I understand," said the Rat, cutting himself some rashers from a side of bacon, while the Mole dropped some eggs into a saucepan.

Anyone for breakfast? A dozen eggs and a rasher of bacon would go nicely with this coffee.

Of course our non-badger, celestial friends are always welcome in the sett.

*Runs over insulting visitor multiple times with street sweeper.*

*Drives a street sweeper through the thread, sweeping out recent non-badger insurgents*

Curmudgeonly, beloved hospitality post

Don't Taig!

It's a trap!

The microwave would like to have a word with dinn, er, our new friend.

Don't blaspheme in the celestial thread!

Here, I have a celestial iron skillet...

Dear oh dear, I was chuckling over the Frost fire extinguisher comment. I'd sample the banana bread myself (made by Mrs. Badger), but I don't want to spoil the loaf before Mr. Teter gets here.

Heh-heh. Here's some hot, fresh banana bread a la Celeste from the badger bakery.

These former star dragons often end up as reefer heads, but I believe poor old Puff started out as one. Still, basically harmless, I'd say.

As for all these leprechauns, they put me in the mood to go rage-tastic, but the warning about fey is well-taken. Who knows what dark fey lady dotes on them, and then we'd be in an even bigger to-do. I've been out seeing that welcome signs are erected in Gnomish. A good influx of gnomes, driven off by the evil sorcerers on the far shore, would probably take care of our leprechaun drifters.

Who? The dragon or the leprechaun?

Associating our beloved game with your mindless Rick Rolls is enough to enrage badgers. You have been warned.

As creatures who go into a rage when it is necessary, we badgers like your thinking, CH. Stop by the sett whenever you like...we aim to keep this place peaceful...well-healed, if you will...

Good point, Celestial Healer.

BTW, as a healer, I couldn't help but notice your trust sword and shield.

Do you two think this Drip poses trouble for the sett? Was it a mistake to let him in? He seemed rather harmless.

The badger stares, slack-jawed in momentary disbelief.

Uh...well, now.

In spite of your unfortunate name, my forgotten friend, you claim to be quite gifted. I propose this: before we accept a stranger and non-Mustildae into our sett, we will confer and set you a challenge. If your complete the project to our satisfaction, then we will make a place for you here, Drip. What do you say?

How about a community instead of a cult? Make yourself at home in the Celestial Sett, if you're a Mustelidae, gnome, or other badger-friend.

Orders a complete set of the comic for the library of the Celestial Sett.

You think that the word "celestial" is a tip-off?

Hey, C.H. I guess you know this...one?

He just showed up grumbling and seems hesitant to identify himself.

We badgers are cautious lot.

You have entered the Celestial Set of the Badgers. Only badgers (by definition, good) and their throngs of righteous frienddom may enter this sacred den.

Hold!

Are you a friend of badgerkind?

sowhereishenow?

Francis -- there's another fine fellow who should join our sett.

Ah...you are one of the badgers of Moss Flower? Your fierceness is known. Take your ease here.

Places tray of smoked herring on the table.

Welcome, Boar. I am merely the first badger to find this celestial den, no doubt provided beforehand by one greater than I for the good of all badger-kind. How fares your hunting?

Yes, we should help our two-legged friends.

Actually, I was hoping that as we attract new badgers to our sett, one of them would take the alias Trufflehunter, like I took Mr. Badger from WitW. Can't think of any more famous badgers, but there are probably some other ones out there. Of course, obscure badgers are also good!

Jab shark with spear-guns and electrical harpoons.

Fresh meat, boys!

Pours a strong cup of tea.

Sugar? Honey?

Hors d'ouevres go well with tea. How do you take yours?

Trufflehunter is one of the greats of our race, dear cub...

Dire Beavers are best waxed.

Yes, I too await Trufflehunter...

Maybe Celestial badgers should only eat Fiendish creatures? Of course, all bets are off for natural badgers...

Overhears Minkscooter's words as he is halfway from the larder with his arms full of butter, basil, garlic, and lemons. Turns around and starts taking them back.

Welcome home, Minkscooter - How do you feel about fish?

Are all the other badgers in Indianapolis?

Yeah, I had to play around a little bit to figure out another way around the latest obstacles.

That's too bad. Badger's don't really like murfsays either, but will tolerate them in times of famine.

The Celestial Sett of the Badgers

Mr. Badger walks to the stout, comforting oaken doors that stand in the main tunnel. He throws open wide the main entrance to the Celestial Sett, that all of badger-kind and the friends of badgers may gather.