Middle Aged Worm Thing's page

4 posts. Alias of Jeff Harris 982.


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Vice President Elect Mite Pence, AWAY!

::leaps astride a winged lion with birth control shredding +5 holy claws, and flies off into a bright white light to the braying of hound archons::

Exit, stage...who friggin knows

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::straightens tie, fixes perfect 1956 dad hair in a hand mirror, clears throat and steps out on stage at some out of out of the way community college to answer student questions regarding a controversial Kobald Krump rally thing held recently at some overblown joint he owns somewhere::

Student: "Governor, how would you respond to the claims of your running mate regarding your campaign being unfairly targeted by...a talking self reflective reclusive frog?

Governor Mite Pence: "I..err..applegize for my running mates undue and bombastic response to comments made by Mr. Frog on...

Wait...I just said applegise instead of apologize!

::Mite Pence looks frantic and claws at his hair:: That SON OF A...he put one on me!

::runs off stage screaming:: GET IT OFF....GET IT..OFFFF!!

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Well...we can cross off the orc vote now...son of a, I thought I quit this terrible job!

(heard from a TV behind Mite Pence)

Trump Casting Co. has the best, the best, lesser gease spells around, guaranteed to work on nasty types and running mates that question you. With Trump Casting Co. lesser gease spells we can make Taldor great again!

::Mite Pence hangs his head in shame:: I knew I should have asked if the VP position came with a gease spell...

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::walking along, kissing babies, defending apple pie, making sure the corn is knee high by the 4th, etc::

I sure hope Kobald kept his cool today, I can't handle anymore drama and scandal, oh hey, a tape...

I'll just pop that into the VCR in my John Deer and have a look see...::watches tape::

::dials cellphone hurriedly:: Uh, yeah, Mr. Krump, I can't be your running mate anymore, because you literally are the worst...kobold...ever.

Pharasma help us all...I quit!

Maybe I can get a job with the corporate golem who is running against Krump, at least she can act like a reasonable adult and at least gives the semblance of sanity and has a mouth filter...I'ma gonna go to special hell for this, I know it.