White Grotto Student

Kung Fu Joe's page

126 posts. Alias of Kirth Gersen.


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Gruumash . wrote:
I am so awesome I don't need hookers and blow to be awesome.

But would they make you a tiger-blooded tornado of awesome? Charlie Sheen knows the answer to that.

EDIT: Wait, nevermind. I already used that joke like 6 years ago. That is NOT awesome of me!

Doktor Weasel wrote:

"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it."

I'm surprised we got this far without this.

Or this one!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mekkis wrote:

Not in Australia.

Go to a butcher, ask for a pound of mince. You'll get a blank look.

Same goes for an American butcher, but it wouldn't be the unit that was causing the problem...

Visual clip.
Can't wait until Toddler Gersen is old enough to see this.
P.S. Part 2 out in April!

Super Troopers wrote:

"You gotta open up your throat!"

"Hey, can we get some syrup over here?"
"Uh, sorry, we're all out."

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Rosgakori wrote:
I would not be surprised if he wears a cape at some moment.
Edna Mode wrote:

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:
Well, Rovagug is trapped at the center, does that count?
Wise Old Owl wrote:

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a planet-pop?

Well, Let's see... one <slurp>, two <slurp>, ROVAGUG!!!"

It's very simple. You just need to make sure to... SQUIRREL!!!"

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Aberzombie wrote:
Beignets were declared the official state doughnut of Louisiana in 1986.

You could have just said, "States have official doughnuts," and, to my mind, that would be a wondrous enough entry for this thread!

P.S. Here's a list of official foods for my state:

State fruit - Tomato; red grapefruit
State bread - Corn bread
State dish - Chili con carne
State nut - Native pecan
State pastries - Sopaipilla and Strudel
State cookie - Mexican wedding cookie
State pepper - Jalapeño
State native pepper - Chiltepin
State pie - Pecan pie
State snack - Tortilla chips and salsa
State vegetable - Sweet onion

One will note that we have both an "official pepper" AND and an "official native pepper!"

1 person marked this as a favorite.
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Terquem wrote:
Civil democracy is dead. It was body slammed in Montana

"Yes. Highly uncivilized. In my day gentlemen used canes for such endeavors!"

"Canes? Oh, puh-leeze! Pistols at dawn!"

Greys0n wrote:
i loooove scotch and whiskey and gin

You realize that Scotch is a kind of whisk(e)y, right?

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
You be you, too

Or, better yet, UB40.

Paul Watson wrote:
I'm sure they can top that, bigly.

Yooj-ly, even!

Guy Humual wrote:
we have the same problems up here, on a smaller scale because we have a less populated country, but we have similar problems up here.

You have MUCH worse problems than we do. Your beer is $13 a pint.

Hitdice wrote:
You'd expect them to be RPG nerds, but it turns out they're the most politically informed people in the US, bar none! Hire them immediately!"

That kind of thing has been tried. It wasn't successful.

Vrog Skyreaver wrote:
For Cordin, everything changed the day of his 12th birthday, when his parents were taking him to the theater to see a play about his hero, Blackjack, when their carriage suddenly came to a stop...
Cordin wrote:
I'm Batman!
Will Farrell, as Alex Trebek wrote:
For the last time, no, you are not.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

If Matt Damon is unacceptable in a Chinese-made movie set in China, is it equally unacceptable for, say, Jackie Chan to star in an American-made movie set in America? Just wondering what the limits are.

(That said, I don't like Matt Damon and don't understand why he's in the movie.)

1 person marked this as a favorite.
PossibleCabbage wrote:
I think one should simply consider using other idioms for calling things as they are or cutting through irrelevant details.

Was it Orwell who advised against using any idiom you didn't coin yourself?

TOZ wrote:

From village guards?

I only hear those numbers from double digit CR outsiders.

In a lot of Paizo AP modules, the village guards ARE double-digit CR outsiders. And for some reason no one thinks it's odd that a devil capable of subjugating entire kingdoms spends decades sitting with 5 of his friends in room C12 cutting up turnips, because sooner or later the adventurers will happen by and it would be disappointing if the fight wasn't suitably epic.

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Saldiven wrote:
All that being said, in my 30-odd years of playing and GMing experience, there is one definite thing I can say about a GM who makes all his/her rolls in the open: Those tables are far more deadly to the players.

More deadly to the characters, certainly. I roll in the open and have yet to see a player drop dead at the table.

The King In Yellow wrote:

I have always disliked the term 'metagaming'

Call it what it really is - cheating.

A lot of people have the exact same opinion about a DM "fudging" dice rolls.

Klorox wrote:
there was Sesame Street's The Count well before either

I'm just going to leave this here.

You'll never look at the Count in the same way again.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You mean Bussard ramjets don't really work? :(

feytharn wrote:
I guess you never have a 'bad day' or a 'bad week', either?

...and then anthropomorphized it to the point where I demanded revenge against a unit of time?

Clarification: There's a difference between (a) noting a statistically large number of unfortunate occurrences within a given interval, vs. (b) actually blaming that interval for those occurrences.

lastknightleft wrote:
So I am in a pathfinder carrion crown campaign and the DM running it is a super min/maxer. The group has a magus, a samurai, and a slayer.

Assuming you're really serious about the DM, my advice is to fire all members of the group, and instead advertise for a cleric, a wizard, and a witch or bard.

I am so daggone sick of comic book superhero movies that I sort of wish Marvel would kill them ALL off, just to give us a break.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I don't favorite my own posts, mostly because I'm afraid it would be a distraction when I constantly click on "Favorited by Others."

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:


I was at my table selling shirts. A tired looking man comes up to look at shirts wearing the most AWESOME star wars rebels jacket I have ever seen and I ask him whee when got it. He says he can't sell it to me, it is a cast jacket. I am confused and then I put two and two together and flip out. He puts the hat on for me and I take a picture of him.

It was awesome!

That was actually Joss Whedon in disguise.

Just kidding. Please continue.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
NPC Dave wrote:
No one controls Donald Trump...

...not even Donald Trump!

stormcrow27 wrote:

White Plume has a 3.5 conversion, and it's pretty easy in comparison to some of the others. Tomb of Horrors had one as well.

And what a disappointment it was! The Tomb seemed to go from "irrevocably snuffed out, no save" in 1e to "DC 10 Fort or take an insignificant amount of damage" in 3.5.

Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
In this context.

In the parlance of our times.

"Mark it eight, Doodle!"

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Spastic Puma wrote:

I'm not gonna vote this election because I don't like the candidates.

When they count up the votes in my state they're gonna be like, "hey, where's Spastic Puma's vote? He's a pretty smart guy. Why didn't he vote?" And the other guy's gonna be like "Didn't you check Facebook? He thinks both candidates are dumb because they don't match his impossibly liberal tastes". And then Trump and Hilary and the party leaders are gonna be like "What have we done?" and impeach themselves. Then the whole country will unite and from the ashes will rise the perfect political demigod -- like a phoenix born from apathy and disdain for incrementalism. Then everyone will know that being right and having the most correct worldview is much more important then stopping the most ludicrously destructive incarnation of beta carotene this nation has ever seen.

Was it Steve Brust who said something like "Sarcasm works a lot better when you lightly dust a phrase with it, instead of drenching every word."

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
Daved M Mallon wrote:
A new set of Starfleet uniforms was intended to be introduced in the 1994 film Star Trek Generations...

For the record, Star Trek is the poster child of nerd subculture. It could therefore be considered the very antithesis of "cool."

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
But damn it, they forgot my red beans n' rice!

Man, that's a crime against all of humanity. Rice and peas are the staple of all Caribbean and Creole cooking.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
this time around we've finally invented robots, so this dilemma may, for the first time ever, actually finally be solved.

...until the andys start sneaking back to Earth and I have to give up my day job to go around "retiring" them.

5 people marked this as a favorite.
archmagi1 wrote:
Think back to the viscious death she gave Meryn Trant,

She drowned him in maple syrup?

1 person marked this as a favorite.
NenkotaMoon wrote:
started to reread Sender's Game.

The sequel, Receiver's Game, is even better.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The 1973 motorcycle film Electra Glide in Blue has no pseudo-Greek lettering and is awesome.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Misli, gammi gra'dil

1 person marked this as a favorite.

When being nice isn't good.
And it applies to grown-ups, too!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Gorbacz wrote:
we're calling Aachen 'Akwizgran'

I think you guys have too many letters and are just trying to get rid of them through overuse!

I suspect that, if you want to convince a bunch of rabid foaming-at-the-mouth Tolkien fanbois that fighters can be as awesome as wizards without being "too Anime," then as soon as you reference something called "One Punch Man" you've lost the entire thread and might as well give up.

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Bigger Club wrote:
If you really want to see, go ahead and post a full fighter build and see what druid can do in comparison.

I can guess from experience how that will come out:

1. For everything the druid does, we get "You shouldn't do that!" or "The DM shouldn't allow that!"
2. You respond, "Let's just look at what the rules actually say."
3. He answers, "A DM who doesn't use common sense is a bad DM!" and then goes into accusations about MMORPGs.
4. If you somehow divert that, you're still "not a team player" because you use the casters' potential instead of gentlemanly using them solely to boost the martial guys' fragile egos and try to make them look good.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
HWalsh wrote:

The trick any GM needs to learn is simple: "How could I stop this without breaking verisimilitude?"

Never, ever, try to out power the GMs narrative. They will always win.

This is great advice if you want to make sure that approximately no one I've ever played with will willingly come anywhere near your table.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
knightnday wrote:
Tectorman wrote:
Draco Bahamut wrote:
Which book there was that illustration with Seelah enrage besides a tree with two signs "This way to Antipaladin Castle" and "This way to orphanage on fire" pointing to opposite directions and the antipaladin laughing hidden behind the tree ?
I'm going to guess either Ultimate Campaign or Pathfinder Unchained.
Pathfinder Unchained page 101 in, appropriately, the alignment section and right after the picture of Seelah in a John Woo movie (lots of doves.)

No one puts ranks in Perception anymore!

Tee-Hee wrote:
Da guy ain't got no sensayuma.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
HWalsh wrote:
This just kicks Xanatos in the jibbly bits. This is a Paladin. Paladins cannot lie. This is a Paladin who just said, "No. This man is a liar."

I'm interested in this Negate Bluff (Su) ability that paladins apparently get. Does it only work within their aura? Or within hearing? On the same plane? Does it have the [language-dependent] descriptor? Does it automatically overcome a glibness spell, or do I need to make an opposed check or something?

I feel like I should be using it more often, but I can't seem to find it in the rules.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kryzbyn wrote:
HK-57 will always have that distinction for me.


Here's a paladin that was contemporaneous with Anderson's.
See if that doesn't further muddy the waters.

Cash is the PBR of music.

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