King Tius's page

Congrats Nick! Well fought, well won. I can't wait to see your proposal fleshed out to a full blown adventure.

I assume there are at least 4 other people waiting around here. I'm rooting for all of you, can't wait to see what you've created.

5. You forgot to count the stomach ulcer all this refreshing is giving me.

Escape from Moonshell Grotto

A treacherous excursion escorting a bookish astronomer into the Sodden Lands leads to a magical grotto of wonders. Waiting inside are curious floating orbs, zealous troglodyte cultists, and a trapped dragon turtle longing for freedom. The adventurers will contend with boggards, lizardfolk, and the swamp itself as they search for astronomical artifacts and a way to free the unlikely terrapin devotee of Desna.

Escape from Moonshell Grotto is a Pathfinder adventure module for four 5th-level characters. By the end of this swampy adventure, characters should reach 8th level using the medium experience track.

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Background
During the Lirgen nation’s prime, explorers discovered a large hole in the heart of the country that opened into a vast domed cavern. Regarding the great cavern as a divine gift, the Saoc Brotherhood converted it into a massive orrery, constructing and enchanting large orbs of rare metals to create an immense reproduction of the solar system. When fully charged with cosmic energy, the orbs emit a beautiful celestial melody. Part astronomical research center, part shrine to Desna, the cavern served as a place of knowledge and devotion for generations.

Following the Eye of Abendego’s formation, a great tsunami swept across Lirgen, flooding the cavern and washing a juvenile dragon turtle inside. Though young, the dragon turtle’s large shell kept him from escaping through the cavern’s winding, narrow passageways. Lamont Seracourt, the lone surviving astronomer, raised the dragon turtle and taught him to worship Desna. Over time, the orbs sank as their power faded, and the water’s mineral content leached color from the turtle’s shell and scales. Seeing the pallid turtle swimming among the descending planets in the cavern’s eerie twilight, Lamont dubbed the dragon turtle Moonshell. Now, over a century later, the ghostly white turtle has grown to full size. With Lamont Seracourt long dead, this good-hearted dragon turtle seeks to return to the waters of its youth.

Adventure Hook
A Saoc Brotherhood descendant, Meika Seracourt (LN Human Expert 6), desires equipment and research left behind by her forebears to continue their studies. She hires the party to accompany her to the Starsong Orrery and help her excavate what she needs from the ruins. In addition to standard payment, she offers the party any treasure not directly related to astronomy.

Chapter 1: The Wagon
Starsong Orrery is located roughly twenty miles south of the Black Flow’s westward bend. Departing from Haldun, the fastest route is to navigate the swamps to the Black Flow and drift down the river. The journey, both on foot and by raft, is a perilous and grueling slog. Along the way, the adventurers will encounter numerous swamp denizens and hazards, such as river rapids, will-o’-wisps, and a poorly-constructed boggard dam.

When the adventurers arrive at the Starsong Orrery, they find the Scalebreaker tribe of lizardfolk living around the oculus. The tribe’s leader, Wild Magri, is currently travelling south with a contingent of warriors to a Terwa Lords’ gathering, and has left Hesseth, his ambitious right hand, in charge. Hesseth regards the adventurer’s arrival as his chance to oust Wild Magri, and will use them to his advantage however possible. Hesseth will permit the party to enter the grotto if they promise to clear the area of troglodytes, allowing the lizardfolk to take control of the turtle. If things turn hostile, the lizardfolk attempt to subdue rather than kill before dumping their victims into the hole, assuming the turtle prefers to eat live meals.

Note: If Meika dies before the party reaches Moonshell Grotto, her map and journal entries can guide the party there.

Chapter 2: The Stargazer
When the Saoc Brotherhood first discovered the cave, they chose not to taint the celestial opening with cranes or stairs. Instead, they discovered a circuitous route to the surface with an entrance several hundred yards away from the oculus. The party likely enters the grotto in one of two ways: through the hole or climbing down the orrery’s old entrance.

The Brotherhood converted any smaller chambers into habitable areas, aiming to keep the main chamber as pristine as possible. A small pack of troglodytes, calling themselves The Risen, now reside in these unflooded areas. Before the Scalebreaker tribe arrived, the troglodytes routinely raided the surface for wildlife to sacrifice to the turtle. Now besieged by the lizardfolk, the troglodytes have gone mad worshipping the dragon turtle, painting themselves white in honor of their false deity. Moonshell, however, wants nothing to do with them.

Meet Moonshell
Any commotion in the grotto draws Moonshell’s attention, and he welcomes the party’s company. If the party falls into the water, he will scoop them onto his back and ferry them to the chapel of Desna. Moonshell tells the party that Lamont Seracourt raised him and taught him the ways of Desna. He longs to return to the sea and carry Desna’s song to the creatures of the deep. Having spent over a century in an astrological temple receiving sacrifices from many tribes and creatures, Moonshell has amassed a sizeable horde, now stashed underwater. In exchange for his freedom, Moonshell is willing to relinquish his entire horde to the party. Once Meika connects Moonshell to her grandfather, she insists they find a way to free the turtle. If the party refuses, she offers more money on top of the turtle’s horde.

Shrine to Desna
While Desnan congregants dedicated this entire orrery to her worship, they also built a chapel high enough on the dome’s wall that it survived the flooding. From its grand balcony, worshippers could view the recreated solar system, a perspective the goddess herself might have from the heavens. This is where Lamont Seracourt lived while he tutored Moonshell. The current residents are a hodgepodge of sacrificed victims who survived the fall and did not succumb to their injuries. Moonshell proudly refers to them as his “flock.”

Astronomy Laboratories
This portion of the grotto is half-flooded and much the worse for wear. Many astronomers drowned when the tsunami trapped them here. Their restless spirits have risen as a variety of undead and haunts. This is where Meika wants to look for texts and astronomy equipment. Literature here will reveal how astronomers created the floating orbs (cosmic energy focused through a farwatcher) and some starting notes on lode motes. Meika or a knowledgeable party member can deduce from the information here that the lode motes can be collected and focused into a levitation crystal using a modified farwatcher. Unfortunately, there is no farwatcher here, but there are references to a nearby Saoc Brotherhood observation tower that housed one. It is a few days journey east of the grotto.

Chapter 3: The Lantern Bearer
After fighting back through the troglodytes or flying up through the hole, the party sets off into the swamp again. Now higher level, they face tougher challenges, including a hydra ambush and a roving pack of shambling mounds. They arrive at the fallen observation tower, now in ruins. A medusa and her amphisbaenae have taken up residence here, and the adventurers will need to cajole her to give up her farwatcher. She’s not likely to give up such a costly item for free, however, and will demand an exchange of equal goods or services for the rare and expensive piece of equipment.

Chapter 4: The Rider
Back at the grotto, the group modifies the farwatcher to collect the energy from the lode motes and focus it into a crystal. The motes cluster around the orbs, attracted by the lingering cosmic energy still stored in them. In order to properly collect them, the party will need to bring the unwieldy farwatcher onto one of the floating orbs and activate it, all while attracting the increasingly-agitated lode mote swarms. Funneling the motes into the farwatcher while avoiding being picked up and tossed into the water may prove more challenging than fighting off a whole army of troglodytes. Attaching the charged magic crystal to Moonshell allows the dragon turtle to float up and out of the grotto. If the party frees him with good intentions, Desna blesses the crystal and transforms it into a lode medallion.

When Moonshell rises out of the grotto, the Scalebreaker tribe scrambles for their weapons, ready for a fight. Regardless of whether the party has allied with Hesseth or not, once they free the dragon turtle, the lizardfolk attempt to capture Moonshell with nets and ropes, attacking the party as they do so. Once clear of the lizardfolk threat, Moonshell offers to swim the party back up the Black Flow in appreciation for freeing him. On the return journey, most swamp denizens steer clear of the dragon turtle, until Wild Magri appears!

Once the adventurers dispatch the Scalebreaker chieftain, the remainder of the journey up the Black Flow is peaceful. Laden with astronomical artifacts and sodden treasure, Meika and the adventurers bid farewell to Moonshell as he disappears below the surface of the river.

I'm submitted! Still can't believe I made it this far...what a rush! Can't wait to see what you three cooked up.

Maybe it's all the Harry Potter my wife and I have been watching, but I'm getting a serious Triwizard Tournament vibe being in the Top 4.

Thanks everyone for advancing me to the finals! I feel a little out of place sitting next to three published authors, but I think I've got something really good cooking, and I'm excited for you all to see it!

Thanks Judges! It's such an honor to be here.

Wow, feels amazing to have my encounter submitted. I know this a marathon and not a sprint, but it kinda just feels like a series of sprints smushed together, and I'm a lover, not a sprinter.

The little oyster that could! Thank you all for advancing me to the next round. I have every intention of addressing all the excellent feedback Lil Scrappy got once I've finished up this blood sacrifice and submitted my encounter. Those screams you are hearing coming from my basement are ones of joy, I promise. Anxious, sacrificial joy.

Thank you once again, Judges!

If he crawls through your tv, cast dominate person posthaste!

“He who controls the Spicer controls the universe."

The Spicer must flow!

Jason Evans wrote:

Plus Guardian felt very League of Legends inspired to me. Have you seen my bear, Tibbers?

The inspiration for the item came from my 10 month old son playing with a teddy bear. I have never actually played League of Legends since I am an old man who fears new things ;)

That's a really adorable and organic place to come from. I just want to clarify that I'm with Garrick on this one. I was reminded of LoL but that wasn't an automatic downvote in my book. You clearly hadn't carbon-copied the character from the video game, but there was a delightful similarity.

Plus Guardian felt very League of Legends inspired to me. Have you seen my bear, Tibbers?

I've submitted! Now to watch some football and stress out about a different fantasy competition.....

Show me what you got!

Get Shwifty!

Hey, Top 16! A big thank you to everyone who voted for me and gave me such insightful feedback. All these positive comments are really uplifting and are driving me to do the best I can. Here's hoping you all like my monster as much as you've liked my previous two entries.

How does one enter the elite ranks of the Freelance Forge?

Thank you judges for the insightful feedback and votes of confidence. Fingers crossed for Round 3!

Thanks for the feedback, Brian. Since you brought up so many points (and I'm done my map!), I thought I'd respond to them.

• I like the name, but I hope it’s not another throwing shield.

I think this one's taken care of....

• Nice visuals on the description. I already want to build a philosopher-scientist that uses this shield.

That would be pretty cool! Others have mentioned adding some kind of astrologically-themed research element to this, but I wanted to keep things lean and mean. Still, if someone was really into stars and galaxies, this is the shield for them!

• ”Upon closer inspection” and “revealed to be” are phrases that chew up word count and make me think you were being dishonest with me about the sensory information you already described. Tell me what I see, not what I think I see and then that I see. Get the important details out there quickly, concisely, and with some creative flair!

I'm going to politely disagree with you here, but only on my item, specifically. I agree that these phrases are often overused and "bloat" an item description, but in this case I felt it was necessary. From a distance it isn't immediately apparent that the stars are actually sling stones and I wanted a way to capture that. I could have used more innovative wording, but it felt appropriate to use such tried and true (and perhaps boring) phrasing, especially for this competition.

• Other than the catch-all of because, magic, I don’t see why a character would get to use all their sling-related feats. I mean, this thing is a spinning disc that launches sling bullets through a vortex! Cool, but in no way, shape, or form is it resembling a sling anymore.

I envisioned the stones being fired out of the vortex in the same centripetal way that a sling looses a stone. Since galaxies tend to spin as a flat disk and so do whirling slings, I imagined they would actually fire pretty similarly. As someone else mentioned, this is basically an auto-loading, self-whirling sling, so I didn't feel it was too big of a stretch to have the proficiencies overlap.

• Does it still provide the shield bonuses when the wielder fires sling stones from it?

Yes. I didn't think it was worth the word count to spell this out explicitly because shield bash DOES state you lose your AC when used. It seemed unnecessary to define something that didn't apply, but in hindsight I can see how many people might still wonder about this. I certainly have the word count left to throw it in. Good catch.

• Including light is a nice, thematic touch. I would almost prefer the price be adjusted for it to include some kind of sunlight effect though.

This was a major design consideration for me. I think I spent more time belaboring this aspect of the shield than any other. When I first put the shield together, I had considered daylight or searing light for the effect, but they increased the price of the shield too much for my liking. For the price it would have sat at, there were much better shields with higher defensive stats and better offensive abilities, so I knocked it down to just light. In the end, I liked that this was an illumination spell with no combat utility.

• An antagonist could use this effectively, and I would have fun describing the action to the players. It’s cheap enough that they might consider holding onto it for a few levels, just to give it a try.

I have some questions about proper use of this item

Fire away! I'm happy to discuss things in more detail. I think it helps improve everyone's design process when we can talk these things out.

It looks like a lot of people (not just this year but overall) have backgrounds in tech or in history/writing/theatre.

But we're missing some important demographic information.

Are you a cat person (correct answer) or a dog person?

Dogs4lyfe

I answered my own question so I thought I'd share. I'm using Inkscape, for what it's worth.

I figured out how to define the pixel dimensions of my map easily enough (part of the export process) but realized I had to actually define the physical size of the page I was working on. I had mistakenly set it to cm instead of inches, so once I corrected that and blew it up to the right document size, when I exported at those specific pixel dimensions, it came out to exactly 72 ppi :D

Since we're getting down to the wire here, I want to double check I don't DQ myself because of ppi stuff. The rules call for 1728 px x 2160 px. If I set these dimensions in my map program, that automatically translates to 72 ppi, right? I am getting a DPI count that is higher than that, but there doesn't seem to be a way to adjust it. The internet tells me DPI and PPI are different, so I think I'm doing this correctly. Just want to make sure.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! In particular, thank you to Neil and Victoria for your kind words about my design aesthetic. I was trying to go for a "less is more" approach and it's hard to put into words how happy I am that people responded so well to it.

Well, this is just awesome. Now if only I knew how to draw...

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I made it! Thank you to everyone who liked my little buckler. This statement rings truer this year than ever before: I couldn't have done it without all of you!

King Tius wrote:

So many 5e-borrowing items this year! Just call it Advantage or Disadvantage and save your word count; we all know where you got the idea from.

Now I'm scared that there might be a 5e item like my entry.

The 5e DMG was all Greatest Hits magic items. As long as you didn't make a Wand of Magic Missiles or a Belt of Giant Strength you should be fine.

So many 5e-borrowing items this year! Just call it Advantage or Disadvantage and save your word count; we all know where you got the idea from.

I really like how this map tells a bit of a story by the names of the encounter areas. Between the Fiendish Conversion Ritual Chamber and that Deathly Hallows summoning circle, it's clear the Drow are up to no good here. The Elven Watch Post really adds to the fact that there's enough of an operation going on here that it needs to be monitored.

This could use an NSFW tag. Are you a fan of Georgia O'Keeffe?

We looked at them starting from the top of the voters' votes, plus a small number of additional items that I thought were worthy contenders (since I had looked at all of the items). Rest assured, by far the best chance to make the Top 32 was by winning as many votes as possible (all 4 of the Top 4 items by votes made Top 32, for example, and 7 more of the Top 20 by votes are either Top 32 or alternates). In fact, this year had the weakest amount of judge golden ticketing of any year. Other than submitting my few items for the other two judges to consider, I refused to give them any more advantage; if Owen and Liz didn't like them, they didn't advance. We required a strict majority for Top 32, with no golden tickets.

4+7 of the Top 20 are Top 32 or alternates, which, put another way, means that 45% of the Top 20 by vote were still shot down by the judges. With this year having less gold-ticketing than in years past, is it then fair to say that even if your item was voted into the Top 20 in years past, you still only had a 50/50 (or less!) shot of making it to the Top 32?

Feedback appreciated!

Staff of the Vineyard
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This wine-stained staff is hewn from the rib of a great oak wine barrel and is covered in bountiful grape vines. The vines produce enough berries to serve as rations for one medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. When used as the target of a goodberry spell, these grapes heal double the normal amount but do not increase the spell’s maximum amount of hit points cured in a 24-hour period. In addition, the bearer of this staff is immune to the effects of any entangle spell and, by expending an additional charge from the staff, can designate a number of creatures immune to the effects of any entangle spell they cast as per the Selective Spell feat. The staff allows use of the following spells:

• Entangle (1 charge)
• Goodberry (1 charge)
• Shillelagh (1 charge)
• Barkskin (2 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, entangle, goodberry, shillelagh; Cost 8,100 gp

A snake eating its own tail would make a great ring!

It's a great visual, but I think it's on the verge of becoming cliche....or a bore (os)

I am tired of asian-flavored items where I have to look up half the words so I know what they are. Makes phone voting a pain in the butt. Also, if I see another snake-themed item I may eat my own tail...

Malag, while I agree that's what the item SHOULD do, as written it does not raise the DC by 1 for most of these Hexes as they are based on Level, not Caster Level. That's the whole crux of the argument.

Brf is also incorrect because again the wording is based on Level, not Caster Level. You would not get access to Flight abilities earlier and it wouldn't up their duration.

As this item stands now, you are paying 6k more than getting the equivalent Bracers of Armor +4 to alter 4 hexes which most witches never even take (other than a healing-based witch). That doesn't seem like the intended design.

I've seen this come up several times on the forums but there's never been an official ruling.

Corset of Dire Witchcraft

The save to resist a hex is equal to 10 + 1/2 the witch’s level + the witch’s Intelligence modifier.

The question that arises is whether or not this was intended to increase the witch's level in this case. As written only four Hexes would actually benefit from the CL increase: Beast of Ill Omen, Healing, Major Healing, and Dire Prophesy. These seem to be too random and too few in number to make this item's ability worthwhile. The AC bonus is certainly appetizing but the item is flavored for witches and yet doesn't seem to actually do them much good.

Functionally this only applies a +1 to one hex's DC with doesn't seem particularly earth-shattering to me, especially since there's a trait that let's you up Slumber's DC by one already.

Discuss!

@GM_Solspiral: Thanks for the review! I appreciated the clip, especially since I thought you were going to link to this. I prefer to think of my item as a "can for monsters" instead of a "monster in a can" but now that I have been through the competition once I can see how it lacks that superstar pizzazz.

Looks like I'm late to the party!

Bone Snatcher Bracelet
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot wrist; Price 20,000 gp; Weight -
Description

This elegant silver bracelet features a clasp that resembles a skull and links crafted as skeletal hands.

With a touch the wearer of a bone snatcher bracelet can transform an undead creature into a charm as a standard action. Unintellegent undead under the wearer’s control are automatically transformed while intelligent undead receive a Will save to resist being stored. Undead not currently under the wearer’s control can be stored with a melee touch attack that provokes an attack of opportunity. These uncontrolled undead receive an additional Will save every hour to break free. Any undead that breaks free appears immediately in a square adjacent to the wearer. Storing an undead creature in the bracelet drains the wearer of one hit point per HD of undead stored until it is released. The bracelet can store a maximum number of undead equal to twice the wearer’s HD with no single creature having HD that exceed the wearer’s.

A charm can be thrown to anywhere within 30 feet of the wearer as a standard action. The charm immediately transforms back into an undead creature and can act in that turn. The DC for the Will save to resist being captured or to break free from the bracelet is equal to 10 + the wearer’s Wisdom, Intelligence, or Charisma modifier (whichever is highest). If the wearer already has an undead stored in the bracelet, the DC to resist being captured is increased by +2 for other undead creatures of that specific type. If the wearer dies or removes the bracelet, all undead are released at a rate of one per round, highest HD to lowest.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, halt undead, reduce person; Cost 10,000 gp

I would be interested to hear what people thought of the Bone Snatcher Bracelet as well!

and now the long wait begins

Thanks guys!

So this is my first time submitting an item.... When we're done with voting and the top 32 are posted, how do we get feedback on our items if we don't make the cut? Do we each make a thread for our submission or does it all get mashed into one big super-thread?

King Tius wrote:

Why does everyone want to turn into a monkey or a centaur?

Because monkeys are awesome!

I'm sensing a bias here...

Why does everyone want to turn into a monkey or a centaur?