Jrcmarine's page

Skylar-Thank you for the post. I took a look at your build and there were some things there I hadn't considered so that is good. Both you and Chuffster referenced the Magical Lineage trait. I hadn't considered that at all and am really taking a look at that. The other two things I noticed with your build were the Fly and Intimidate scores. I have a polearm wielding character that is heavy in intimidate and I was trying to figure out the best way to use him & his intimidate. Your build actually helped me figure some things out for that character. As for the Fly skill- I assume you are casting fly on yourself or some other spell that gives you flight. How often are you doing that and how effective is it?

I do need to say I really want to go a strength build rather than the dex build. Most Magus' I have encountered while playing have the dex build. I totally understand the dex build and how powerful it is, especially the dervish build, but I am interested in trying something a little bit different.

Paladin- The Drill Sergeant Archtype gives you the Cavalier's Tactician ability which means a free teamwork feat at 1st level. It also means I can share my teamwork feats with my allies at 2nd level. I also took the City Life half-orc trait which gives me the whip as a martial proficiency. So 1 Free Teamwork Feat from Drill Sergeant (Tandem Trip); 1 Bonus Fighter Feat (Phalanx Formation); and 1 1st Level feat (Weapon Focus: Whip). I also picked up Endurance by trading out the Intimidating Racial Ability but that isn't listed above.

Chuffster- I only posted the short block. I do have the sacred tattoo trait instead of Orc Ferocity which is why my will save is +1. I chose the Sacred Tattoo and the Mystic traits. I will post an amended stat block.

As for the Fate's favored, I could get on board with that, although I would prefer something like the magical lineage trait you talked about. Isn't magical knack kind of mandatory though? If I take Magical Knack then my 2nd Level Fighter/1st Level Magus is still considered a 3rd level caster, which means the duration on all of my spells will be as a 3rd level caster rather than a 1st level caster AND it means my Shocking Grasp, Chill Touch, etc. all are considered 3rd level for damage effects.

I went hexcrafter because it gives me access to all of the curse spells such as Brand which is a cantrip and allows me to do an actual point of damage. A lot of the curse spells fit with the debuff theme as well. The only thing I lose with hexcrafter is spell recall. Because I am not looking to Shocking grasp all the time, spell recall isn't as important as it is with a regular magus build; at least that is my opinion. I guess being able to cast Frostbite multiple times is good though. My plan is to use the reach of the whip to deliver my attacks and let the fighters, barbarians and paladins wade into face to face combat. I don't want to be in the middle of things. Ideally I would be behind the fighter delivering my damage and debuffs as well as my teamwork feats. Precise Strike is pretty nice, especially when everyone in the party gets it!

I wasn't even considering the Pre-hensile hair. It was mostly for the access to curses and later the hexes. I will have to rethink about the hexcrafting portion of the build.

I am interested in making a Whip Magus build for PFS. The basic idea is not your standard maximize damage output. I am interested in using the reach properties of the whip with spell combat/spellstrike. Damage output is important; however I don't mind a build that focuses on support or de-buff spells that can be delivered via spellstrike (ie. Frostbite, Frigid Touch, etc.). A secondary combat goal of the character is possibly trip or other whip tricks like grapple/entangle, etc.

With the goals I have in mind, my plan is to go Fighter for the first two levels using the Drill Sergeant archetype to pick up the Tandem Trip Teamwork Feat and the Tactician ability. This also allows me to pick up Whip Mastery at 2nd level so my damage becomes lethal and keeps my BAB progression on target for 2 attacks at 6th level. I then would move into Magus for the rest of my levels using the hexcrafter archetype.

From a role-playing aspect, the personality of the character is an Indiana Jones/Librarian mix. He is a lot of muscle with some intellect and an interest in history and languages. I am choosing the Dark Archive or Scarab Sages for Faction. I have the Great Scholar as one of my traits and Magical Knack as my other trait. I am open to selecting other traits. How important are the two caster levels that Magical Knack give me? I like Arcane Temper, Eldritch Delver (which thematically is perfect), Mathematical Prodigy (thematically a good fit), Self-Taught Scholar is another good fit thematically. I also like Tomb Raider from Scarab Sages.

Anyway- here is a preliminary post of the character at first level.

Jairus
Male half-orc fighter (drill sergeant) 1
LN Medium humanoid (human, orc)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +0
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Defense
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AC 19, touch 12, flat-footed 17 (+6 armor, +2 Dex, +1 shield)
hp 11 (1d10+1)
Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1
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Offense
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Speed 30 ft. (20 ft. in armor)
Melee whip +6 (1d3+4 nonlethal) or
. . warhammer +5 (1d8+6/×3)
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Statistics
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Str 18, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 10, Cha 8
Base Atk +1; CMB +5; CMD 17
Feats Phalanx Formation, Tandem Trip[UC], Weapon Focus (whip)
Traits magical knack, scholar of the great beyond
Skills Acrobatics -4 (-8 to jump), Intimidate +1, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +6, Knowledge (history) +7, Linguistics +3, Profession (librarian) +4; Racial Modifiers +2 Intimidate
Languages Azlanti, Common, Draconic, Orc, Tien
SQ orc blood
Other Gear four-mirror, buckler, dagger, light crossbow, shortsword, warhammer, whip, backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, blotter (0.2 lb), fishhook (2), flint and steel, inkpen, knife for cutting quills into pens (0.5 lb), mug/tankard, pen nibs, pigment for making ink (0.2 lb), ruler, small (0.1 lb), sewing needle, signal whistle, string or twine, trail rations (7), vial, waterskin, whetstone, 28 gp
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Special Abilities
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Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white vision only).
Magical Knack (-Choose-) +2 CL for a specific class, to a max of your HD.
Orc Blood Half-orcs count as both humans and orcs for any effect related to race.
Phalanx Formation Allies don't provide soft cover to opponents when wielding a reach weapon.
Tandem Trip When you make a trip against an opponent threatened by any ally, roll twice and take the higher result

Anyone know if Haunts count as traps? I think they do, but I am unsure.

Spiroskek
Geomaw
Deeplit
Dread Glutton

Tanner Nielsen wrote:

O great and powerful DM Tuyena. How would you feel about a LN paladin? A cleans-the-heretic type, who replaces Good and Evil with Law and Chaos. I've never been happy with the prerequisites and lack of synergy with the Hellknight.

I'm not exactly enthralled by the alignment system either, but paladin is LG. Consider something like Chevalier.

-Posted with Wayfinder

I believe there is an arch type that replaces Good/Evil with Law/Chaos

Why not?! Roll me up please.

Turn it on its side and you have an entirely different image than the one you are talking about.

My votes went to:
Caverns of Steam
Salvation's End
Firebrandt's Redoubt
Ancient Cyclops
Treant's Crossing
Tanglebriar
Dinosaur Train!... er Graveyard ;-)
Griffon Falls

I would add comment but I have already done that in each entry's thread.

I will say the last three were a VERY tough decision. I liked Smokemount, Leviathan's End and Drowning Temple very much and they all were right on the cusp with my 6,7 and 8.

Thank you very much for the edit Nickolas. It was not only excellent, I feel it was spot on. I wish I had had more time this year and more people to bounce my idea.

The sandstorm was really meant to protect healers while they are in the middle of melee. I play several clerics who wade into melee. While in melee I liked the idea of a healer having the protection of the sand. I think what I should have done is actually done an x/day, similar to the re-write you gave. I think 1/day is a bit under-powered if the item is tied to a specific deity and would rather see 3/day or 1+CHA modifier or something similar to the domain power usage. I could even see sacrificing a channel slot to cause the effect.

I liked the edit of the first entry but wanted to stay with the sand theme. I think swirling mini-sandstorms give a very strong visual and are unique in the game. There really aren't any effects in the game that truly replicate what I was looking for. Or at least I couldn't find them. Anyway, I like the edits and appreciate the time and thought you put into them and the critique.

THANK YOU!

I agree with Neil regarding comment. Last year you could tell who was doing well in each round by the number of posts to their thread. The less posts, the less likely they were to advance. I received mixed reviews on my item and was middle of the pack with hits. My monster was pretty popular, despite his flaws, and my thread saw lots of hits. My location wasn't as popular and you could see that in the number of hits. Those that did comment were great because it provided me with insight, even if the poster was merely validating what the judges said. It still was nice to see people engaged in the contest.

There was a lot of voter fatigue last year and I am closely watching this year to see if voter fatigue sets in earlier and harder than last year. Even though I haven't advanced this year, I am going to keep an eye on the contest and try to offer comments throughout. I know I appreciated ALL feedback that I received throughout. And I know it was a little disheartening the deeper I got into the competition to see less and less voters involved.

Trust Neil on this one. Comment, comment, comment. The contestants appreciate it more than you know.

There is nothing here that would interest any of my characters, which is too bad. When I saw an Abbey I was excited and thought it was a good location choice. Too bad this location is dull.

I like this map. There is some missing detail but the location itself gives a plethora of ideas for a GM to flesh out. I do think some more detail should have been given for the cartographer. As Owen mentioned, on the 5 foot scale grids you should show objects.

But I like this map enough to let those things pass.

Awesome, Chris. I am almost through all of the submissions and this one is my favorite so far. Great idea with the treant and awesome concept of how to integrate it into the map and the adventure.

Not much negative I can say about this one, it really grabbed me.

The map is confusing. Some cool names and locations but I am having a very difficult time reading the map itself.

... There's a boat that might have oars in it… or a corpse… or a giant pair of scissors.

That's a sarcophagas, Owen. Look at the key!

I wasn't sure if it was a runaway sarcophagas trying to flee the other sarcophagi or a large pair of scissors determined to cut the moorings on the boat so they could escape before rusting away in the sewer.

A lot of wasted space in this map. There are all kinds of cool things that could be done in the big sewer area but instead we just get a big blue area that isn't used because of the bridge.

And let's be honest... who stores dead bodies in a sewer? A necromancer on the lam? Ok, I can buy that. But would he go to the trouble of lugging sarcophagi down into the sewer to store bodies he plans on animating?

The map is not Superstar my friend. A good try but it needed a little bit more fleshing out and better execution.

Hmmm... somebody call Jon Taffer because East Shore's only Inn needs a bar rescue. Nice looking map but uninspired location and execution. If you are going to choose a location that is in almost every module, then you have to make it extremely interesting and different.

Unfortunately there is nothing special about this inn. I like the name but I think I would have chosen to keep the name and made this location a morgue or something else macabre. Make a play on the name and do a "Hotel California" kind of thing. You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave. Maybe an underground crypt turned inn... but not really.

Anyway, the map looks pretty, it just isn't creative.

I put on my Wanderer's Coat the other day and ended up in the Town of Griffin Falls. It seemed to be a happy little town with a lot going on. The panhandling should be good. I was confused by the lack of Griffons anywhere in the town but one of the locals straightened me out on that point. I usually only spend a day or two in a town before donning my Wanderer's Coat and teleporting away, but the Town of Griffin Falls captured my attention and I stayed for much longer than I normally would.

Great job, DQ. Town maps are hard and you did a very nice one. Kudos!

This is a nice looking map and has some great creativity behind it. Like Jacob, I have some issues with it. I am on the fence but I do want to let you know this is a very good entry, I just don't know if it is good enough.

This is uninspired. It could be any building that houses a permanent horse... ;)

There is no key? I know most things appear to be what they are but I like to have a key. The real problem is that there is nothing on this map that requires a key. That means the map is boring in my opinion.

Lots of wasted space on this map. Even with the ten mile scale that was used, why not "zoom" in on the map so we can get a closer look at what is going on. Its widest point was 8 hexes that left 15 hexes unused along the sides. You could have brought it in a little closer, still had room on the sides and given us more detail.

Awesome job Kalervo. I like this map a lot. Cool idea for a location, creativity abounds in the execution. This is definitely on my keeper list.

A good idea but not fleshed out enough for my taste. With a square being 5 feet, we really should see some more details throughout the map. Floating garbage is a cool idea and I am surprised you didn't make specific references to it. Some of the garbage might be walkable, or there could be things hiding in it, perhaps a familiar or pet of the owner of the ship. Creatures always like to lair in garbage.

There just isn't enough creativity for my tastes which makes this a bit boring for me.

I was really hoping your submission would be a good one, Mama, and you didn't disappoint. Great execution on the map. My only nitpick is legibility. I had a little bit of trouble reading some of the hand written identifications. You could have easily scanned this in after drawing and inserted text to make it cleaner, but that is being a bit nit picky.

I am not a fan of the name either but it is serviceable. The rest of the map is awesome! Good luck!

Very boring map. Lots of straight angled buildings and some color. Imaginative idea with ho hum execution.

Cool idea but bad execution. I had an extremely difficult time reading the legend, so a lot of your cool names slipped by me. The ide view helped clear things up for me, but it isn't a map. It's a drawing of the town which would have been ok if it didn't take up the majority of the map. If you had moved some of the labels to that portion or had different labels on that portion, I think you might have been ok. But as is, it just looks like a picture of the town.

This is the map round. Not the cool idea for a location round. Not the cool names for locations round. It is a map round and while location and naming are important aspects of a map, so is a legible key (yours is not) and the map portion should not be confusing (which your is).

I don't think I can vote for this one even though I love the location.

Great names do not make a great entry. I like the names of the locations like everyone else, but the round is supposed to be about the map, not just the names on the map.

At first glance of this entry I was digging it a little bit. I thought ok it is an overland map, which is difficult but hey swing for the fences.

Problem 1- the area is needlessly way too big. As mentioned above, the city is 60 miles across! NYC is only about 7 miles at its longest point. The fortresses appear to be almost 5 miles wide! Is this cave inhabited by giants? Even giants don't have 5 mile wide fortresses so I am not sure who is living here.

Problem 2-The worm wastes are the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. Felglow marsh is the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. The Ash Dunes are the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. The Blood Stone Fields get their own color but I guess none of the other locations rate their own color. If you are going to use color to designate location or terrain, then you have to use it throughout. As a nitpick I don't like green water unless the reason is clear why it is green and naming it Dead Water Lake isn't justification enough.

Problem 3-The Fallen Stairs, The Corpse Wall, Well of the Dying God, Ash Rime Altars, and Black Thorn Gardens all have cool names. But they also all have the same generic "Ruins" marker from the key. If you take the time to give them each a unique name, take the time to give them each a unique icon. If you don't, the cartographer won't either. Along the same train of thought, The Glassfire Eye and Ember's Spire shouldn't have the same icon either, unless they are twins of each other. And the same with the two forts that are named.

Problem 4- Is the only means of entrance to this Vault from the Sightless Sea? It's hard to believe a cave this large that was once inhabited or currently inhabited would only have one means of entrance, especially if that entrance was from Sea. I guess it is possible, but it's a stretch for me.

Despite all of the above, this one is still on the fence for me. The names are that good and the fact that you took on an overland map holds some water with me.

This is a nice map that I like. The location idea does hearken back to the Gygaxian modules, but I still like it.

I believe the dotted areas are tunnels that lead through the brambles, but that really should be labeled. Also I assume the bramble wall surrounds the base of the tree but the bramble wall is missing in the side view of the location. It should be there and wouldn't posed a problem because it is only 10 ft high and the first level of the tree is 30ft high.

I am on the fence for this one.

I disagree with OSW on this one. I like this map and think it is well done. Crystal is very correct in that this map demonstrates you don't have to possess artistic talent to create a good map. This is a good map. It isn't a great map for me.

Last year when we had to submit maps as part of our location, the rules weren't really specific on the creativity behind the map. The map needed to be legible, a certain size & DPI, a key, compass and map details. When the judges nailed my map as boring, I was a little angry because I thought the round was all about the location and the map was incidental. Then I saw Mikko's map as well as the judges comments on it. And for me, that was an epiphany moment. Even though the rules didn't spell it out, I knew what they were looking for.

Your map is uninspired. It leaves too much creativity up to the cartographer and that isn't their job. A cartographer is supposed to bring to life what you have given them, and this map hasn't really given them much to bring to life. You have left the cartographer the dirty job of naming all of the streets, naming the buildings that haven't been named, the cartographer must choose what if the roads are cobblestone or dirt, the cartographer must determine what the white spaces between the roads are... i could go on but you get the idea.

This critique may be harsh but it is the harsh reality that I was faced with last year. I applaud Mikko because his map from last year was Superstar. I looked at it before reading the location and said... THAT is an awesome place for an adventure. I hadn't even read about his temple yet, but I knew if it promised half of what the map did then I was all over it. If your map doesn't do that, then it isn't Superstar.

Pretty boring. The lack of details really hurts this submission. Straight lines and a stereotypical amphitheater aren't superstar. I really got hammered for my map last year because it was straight lines and seemed like a lot of other maps that had been done before.

Of course had I known the map was going to play a bigger part in the round, I would have spent more time on it! This year you knew the map was the entire submission and it feels like not enough time was taken on it. It looks like I could have cut and paste this from some other adventure.

It isn't terrible, it just isn't very imaginative either.

I like this one a lot. Love a cloaker nest! Fungus Forest? Yes please! And I agree with Oceanshieldwolf (hey buddy!), the Dragon lives in the ravine. Perhaps it is hibernating, perhaps it accepts tribute from the locals who inhabit the steam cave, perhaps there is another exit from its lair that isn't marked on this map.

This is a very good entry.

Ohhh, Jacob. I am very disappointed in this map. I really expected to see something special and this isn't your best work. I'm not very good at maps either, so most of the entries get a little slack from me.

This is really a poor execution and I am very surprised.

I have to admit- I really want to like this one. The idea, although done before, is nice. I like the "swallowed" building and the scaffold like structures that have been built around the corpse. There is just too much missing detail for my taste. There is a lot of wasted space here that could have had a lot of little add-ons to give the map more character.

As Owen mentioned- little sea-gull nests, a rotting portion of the corpse, etc. I also think a new light house built out of the creature's eye socket would have been very cool and was one of the things I first thought of. Or perhaps a lighthouse half way through construction.

This is on the border for me. I will have to see the rest before I make a decision on this one.

How do you NOT love dinosaurs?! How do you NOT love the possibility of a huge dinosaur haunt?! Although the execution is off, the idea is extremely appealing and that is what counts IMO.

The mapped area isn't a regularly shaped location so I like that and while things are simple that doesn't bother me. I am not an artist either so I don't have a problem with something like this, especially when it is being turned over to someone who is an artist. Everything here is labeled well.

Very nice job. I would be very excited to see a product with this location.

Ha! Another entry that is similar to an idea I had. My second choice for maps was indeed an Ice Berg! Wow! I really like the idea of the changing map. That is not something I would have had in my map and it shows some great outside the box thinking.

Great idea, even if the execution was as spot on as I would like.

Wow- This is eerily similar to my idea for a map, had I advanced. I was going to use a volcano as well. This is a good looking map and I like it. Very nice job!

Congrats! Have a great time!

Jrcmarine, a brother would be an interesting addition so I like the idea. Put out your idea to fit what I have so far so we can put it together.

Workng on it! Will post later tonight.

Dreamreaper is a RPGSS name btw.

Yeah- the thread has diverged a bit, probably because I should have named it differently. Maybe What Should you have submitted for RPGSS 2015. Oh well, I don't mind the unintended consequences of my post.

The trip ability is a big reason why I have characters use the sickle, Steve. I have a ranger that uses two-weapon combat with sickles and makes prodigious use of the trip ability, so I am a big fan of the sickle.

mplindustries-

I get that your magical item taste runs toward the practical. I actually agree with you on this. If I were to show you some of my characters, you would see they don't have way out there items. They have items that are practical and assist them in their endeavors. The item shouldn't outshine the character.

With RPGSS the creator has to make a "splash" because you are trying to appeal to a much broader audience. Sometimes items will get through that don't make a big splash, see my item from last year, but for the most part voters want things that help directly in combat. And they want them to help in a big, new, exciting or different way.

I also would like to make throwing weapons a viable and competitive means of combat, but for the contest it has to be done in a "splashy" way, otherwise you fade in with the rest of the average "good for a magic item book" items. I use that term because that is how I would have classified your tomahawk. Good for a magic item book but not WOW.

I think some cool imagery would have been the thrown axe transforming into a murder of crows speeding toward the target. Designate that the murder has the same amount of attacks as the wielder which solves the full attack problem in a cinematic way. Once the murder has completed all of its attacks it dissipates and the tomahawk reappears in the wielder's hand. You could even give different damage or effects for the murder.

I know giving different damage/effects for the murder diverges from your intent of KISS, but it makes the item unique and as I mentioned before, gives it a cinematic quality that is very popular in RPGSS. I must be honest, discussing it here has given me a few ideas and has inspired me to maybe do a different take on it.

Hmm Dagru- would you be open to having a brother? I was thinking of submitting a Hobgoblin Fell Rider. We could adjust history to reflect our desire to carve out a place for we hobgoblins who wish to live in peace with our neighbors.

Christopher Wasko wrote:

I can't remember the name, but I really liked the battleaxe that stripped away targets' cold resistance. Very cool mechanic (no pun intended), one that I may very well steal for future designs!

I believe the name of that one was Rimefang. I remember because the name was similar to my own item.

You are correct- it was called Rimefang. I remember because it reminded me of an item from Dragonlance.

Steve- I am glad you liked my item. If you would like me to critique yours send me a PM or just list its name here and I will try to find it in the CMIT.

What's wrong with using a template? It's part of the game - it might make the entry a bit bulkier but I'd much rather it was there than having to go away and read a book to find out what the effect was supposed to be or what the writer was getting at.

To be honest, Steve, I am still trying to figure this one out. I have yet to receive an explanation that I find satisfactory. I have been told adding the template was akin to entering a monster to the competition. I find this explanation very inadequate.

I like the idea that a fallen/disgraced worshipper can still use and possess such an item. Was that intended? If so it sets up a fight with another who wields such a weapon which I think would be pretty nifty.

But...what does "drawn" mean...flat on or stuck in the sand, in hand, out of a scabbard (would drawing it from a sash rather than a scabbard be enough?), strapped to the back of a camel, left on the table at home?... Also at any level this is makes summoned creatures very powerful and for that reason I'd probably prefer x/uses a day and maybe a higher purchase cost.

Yeah I should have just stuck with wielded. The power does not work if the sword is sitting in its scabbard or laying on the ground. The caster must have it in hand. As for powerful summoned creatures- that was the point, but I do agree with your x/day suggestion.

That said I certainly consider that the Desert Caller has RPGSS potential and, if it's ok with you, I have some ideas of how to make use of something like this in my current game (oddly enough involving watery types!).

Please use away, Steve! I am always flattered and gratified when someone likes what I have created.

.... I was forced to recognize that I am a much better critic and editor than actual writer....

No offense taken. RE: Poison- now I see what you were saying, and you are correct. RE: rules lawyers- I know they are a part of the game. I have one in my group whom I like very much. I don't think like a rules lawyer so I sometimes miss the loop holes that a rules lawyer will find.

As for the tomahawk- I didn't hate it and I posted my thoughts on it in the critique my item thread. However I will add something here now that I gained some insight from your post. I think it would have been cool to have some different effect occur when the axe "released" the screaming crow. Maybe it should have released an entire murder of crows that did some sonic effect. The power you gave it really was just the returning power, which maybe you didn't know about.

I agree with the mechanic idea on your second item, but yeah the jokiness was too much. I would refine that mechanic and try to use it with something else.

So I would say you made the right decision to for your entry, even though you didn't advance. Based on what you had, "you chose... wisely."

James Casey wrote:

Shield Of Embers

I'm glad you liked it.

The construction cost is broken. I would remove touch of combustion. I was afraid others may have felt it needed a second spell in the construction (it doesnt). It may also need a 3 uses/day activation as it may be a tad powerful.

I originally had a favored defense trigger via instant enemy but it got muddy in the wording, and pricing started getting high for having 3 spells.

I too should have used a x/day on my second ability. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

So, I guess I should post my own item, as I am about to create a thread analyzing every other item.

Stormcrow Tomahawk:

Stormcrow Tomahawk
Aura moderate divination and evocation; CL 9th
Slot weapon; Price 28,308 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The leather wrapped handle of this +1 distance shock throwing axe is adorned with long, black feathers. As an attack, the wielder of the Stormcrow Tomahawk can launch a blast of power in the form of a screaming crow, crackling with electricity. These blasts are resolved as if the weapon itself had been thrown at the target.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blood crow strike, clairaudience/clairvoyance, and call lightning or lightning bolt; Cost 14,154 gp

The only actual mechanical mistake I noticed (too late) was the cost--I accidentally halved the cost of the base weapon, as well. Since I got culled, though, I obviously made other mistakes. I believe I understand why it did not receive votes, but I don't want to lead the critiques in this thread, either, so I will just wait and see if I am confirmed. Ultimately, I realized that I am a much better critic and editor than actual writer.

I don’t think this is a bad item. I think it is just a little bland. The visual of the screaming crow is cool but other than the visual this is just a +1 distance shock throwing axe that can launch a blast of power that is only a slight step above the returning ability. Since the CL is 9 and call lightning or lightning bolt are used in the creation, why not expand on the storm theme?