Hmm, why would the author specifically create a SIAC if that spell isn't in the construction requirements?
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Thumbs up!
I got completely stomped in 2011 by the archetype round. It's rough if you're unprepared.
The developers have requested a caption in "good taste." The kobolds believe that good taste is fresh tengu.
I will definitely be going, presumably to play.
Excellent! Most excellent! I love the creepy, creepy Gloomspires, and would love to see what else is in the tomb.
When I played it with Dragnmoon, I did so as Andoran. We did a really good job with solid rolls, and initially only came up with around 18 points. I applaud him for rereading the rules and finding the extra potential points we had overlooked from scouting, which brought us over 20. It was a great scenario, though. I wish we'd had the time to fight the owlbear.
I appreciate your feedback, and I understand and agree with the points you've made. I hope to put them to good use for next year.
(REDACTED) Your comments are probably skirting (if not over) the line of acceptable commentary.
I'm very glad to have been proven wrong from Rounds 1 and 2. This received one of my first votes, and I look forward to the next round's submission.
I'm fine being the minority in disliking this item. Having given it some thought, I figured exactly what my issue was. It feels like something from Order of the Stick, which is a perfectly valid way to play the game, but not for me in terms of Golarion. I do look forward to your monsters. I hope that it blows me away. I really do.
It looks like everyone with at least 6 votes in the exit poll made it. The exit poll successfully predicted 12 of the top 16. Eric Morton (6), Andrew Newton (5), Mikko Kallio (4), and Thomas LeBlanc (4) did not make it. Steve Miller (3), Andrew Marlowe (3), Jacob Trier (3), and Mike Welham (2) did make it.
I really enjoyed this one, although the waves of enemies got a little redundant after a while. One of my personal highlights was a critical shot on one of the bard tengu with all of his mirror images up. My favorite parts were the training period mini-game and the fight against the death-dealing tengu cavalier. (We had to skip the owlbear, but I'm sure that would have rocked hard.)
I had a good time. I enjoyed meeting goatlord and the rest of Team Monk. I also enjoyed meeting Adam Daigle and seeing Dragnmoon one-shot our highest level PC with a katana critical hit. Oh, and my dice were on fire
Mirror of Monstrous Echoes is mine. I like to think that if not for being so similar to Haunting Glass and Spellblight Cage, and somewhat similar to Basilisk's Eye Sight, it might have made it. I'm certainly glad to have made it into the Keep pile.
I love it! AM BARBARIAN needs to come in and endorse these.
What's the record, out of curiosity, for longest submitted item? (And shortest as well.)
I think that they've said that the submissions number in the hundreds, and have also said that Top 32 is (at least) the top 5%; so just by submitting, you've made it into the Top 1000.
I love my day job. Absolutely love heading in and making a difference. However, I would enjoy doing the occasional freelance job. That's why I am entering. (I also want to redeem myself from last year, where I snuck into the Top 32 and then screwed up hugely in Round 2.)
Wolfthulhu - How did you know Officer Will? I think I'd only met him personally once, but I saw how devastated some of our mutual friends were. His funeral was tough, especially considering his pregnant wife. Each funeral gets harder. Since I joined the department in June 2008, we've lost Gary Gryder (killed by an intoxicated driver), Tim Abernethy (shot to death), Henry Canales (shot to death), Eydelmen Mani (traffic accident), and now Kevin Will (killed by an intoxicated driver). Each of these officers sacrificed their lives in the line of duty. This is truly a heartbreaking loss, as all line-of-duty deaths are. I'm just glad that he won't be forgotten, not by the person he saved nor by anyone who reads the story of his heroism.
My name is Isaac Duplechain. I am a police officer with the Houston Police Department. I'd like to turn your attention to a member of my department who was tragically killed last Saturday night. I just returned from his funeral, and I'd like to share the story of his heroism. Officer Kevin Will, age 37, was working a hit-and-run accident involving two motorcycles on the 610 Loop around 2:00 am. Along with several other officers, he blocked the highway with police vehicles for safety and to protect the integrity of the scene of the major accident. As he interviewed one of the witnesses, a drunk driver drove around the flashing lights of the barricade and drove straight towards Officer Will. In a moment, he reacted by instinct and pushed the citizen out of the way while shouting a warning. He could have simply jumped over the wall to safety, but that would have left the citizen in the way of the vehicle. The drunk driver hit him going 80 miles per hour, killing him instantly. We talk a lot about heroes in this world, but it is all too rare to see a true hero. Officer Will was a hero down to the very fiber of his being. We should celebrate his life, his service, and the heroism displayed in his death.
Character Name Asher Hanafesh
Had I made it this far, I would have likely drawn the base of the map on a diagram tool I use to diagram crashes. (Other fun uses include crime scene diagrams!) Maybe I'd finally find use for the kangaroo icon, either in its normal birds-eye-view mode or the on-its-side mode. I guess someone, somewhere, does a lot of accidents involved knocked-over kangaroos.
With a lot more examples to draw from, I think that there were fewer misses than Round 2's archetypes.
I liked several of them, though I didn't look at them through a microscope. I sort of squinted and said, "Would I run that guy in my campaign?"
Perhaps it's the nitpicky law enforcement official in me, but a burglar is someone breaks into someone's house to steal things. A kidnapper is someone who steals people. There's a distinction. With that out of the way, I can't imagine using this guy as a GM except maybe as a joke villain. I don't want a joke villain. I want a super-evil villain of DOOM. This was the last one I read, but it's almost definitely not making the cut.
As a GM, I don't think I'd put this guy in my campaign. How would he get involved if the PCs don't seek him out? Mechanically, I think it should be either-or with the two classes. Putting them both together gets a little muddled. It's just too much for me. I doubt that I'll vote for this one. Sorry.
As the others have pointed out, this one tries to push the envelope. That's a good thing! However, the execution is unusual to the point that it is too distracting. I want to be able to vote for this, but I don't think I can.
Normally I don't like derros, but the creepiness makes me overlook that. "She is real and a derro." This sentence is extremely jarring. I'm confused on a few points. Why is she CN instead of CE? What exactly is she doing in these experiments and where is she performing them? I may vote for this, but I may not.
I find the idea great. I will definitely add this guy to Carrion Crown. However, I find him a little mechanically lacking. The aristocrat level does not do much other than add a little backstory that could just as easily be explained in a skill section. Perhaps he could give up his favored class hit points for Knowledge (nobility). Give me a little time to think about this guy. I'm on the fence.
I didn't like it the first time I read it. Then I found myself thinking about it. Now I love it. If I ever run Curse of the Crimson Throne, I will use this one. My only real complaint is that I want to know much, much more about Thom.
Not one, but two archetypes! Including one from Round 2! That's a plus in my book. I'll trust the others who say that your stat block is fine. It appears pretty complex with multiple spells effects. Attention to detail is important. I don't know if I would include this guy in a campaign, which is largely my measuring scale. However, I wouldn't not. I'm pretty on the fence, but the attention to detail might swing me to vote for this one.
Before the Round 2 results were released, I generated a villain using Round 2's Still-Water Meditant. The character abused the ability that let him not have to declare readied actions, using Ki Throw and Stunning Fist to constantly disrupt his enemies. His motivations, basically, were to find the secrets to self-perfection through combat with others. This combat, of course, is to the death with no regard to the opponent's ability to fight back. After finding this self-perfection, he intends to return to Jalmaray and conquer it. I'll unveil him after this round is over.
I find him most impressive. His mechanics are an exact match for his description, and I love a villain that I can use to interact with my PCs on a regular basis. I also love Chessmaster-type villains, which he clearly falls into. As others have pointed out, Major Magic can't be picked without Minor Magic. This does make unable to use his vanish tactics. Such an oversight is a big issue. However, the strength of the concept makes me want to adopt him into my campaign. I will almost certainly vote for him!
Unlike most villains who have a narrow scope, I instinctively like the villain concept simply because I instinctively hate the villain as a character. I want some Hellknights to hunt him down and publicly flay him, which is a good thing for a villain. Mechanically, I think he might be better suited as a Ranger 5/Wizard 3, so he would have access to a few spells to twist his dolls' minds. His stats would have to be changed around. I also think that he is a great candidate to have 8 Charisma, simply because he has such difficulty connecting to others. As for his daughter, perhaps I believe the worst in people, but I have no difficulty imagining some of the twisted lengths he would go to in order to recreate his sister, including fathering a child with an unwilling woman. Now, this is very dark and disturbing, better suited for very dark campaigns. Overall, I think he's great as a villain concept. While I have my own preference for how I would create him in a stat block, I think yours is just fine. I will almost certainly vote for this one.
Alas, I hate both derros and druids. You're already working at a disadvantage for me. This is quite the pity, since I loved the Impaler. That said, I'll try to give this a fair shake. The description for a derro's insanity says that only wish or miracle can restore a derro to sanity. I'm a little curious as to how Ankradula would have been "cursed" with sanity with that explicit requirement. I do realize that you only have 600 words, though. Most of your feat choices are well-connected to the character description. I would have liked to know which 5 gods that are being targeted. Overall, while I'm cool to the concept, it's strong enough on its own merits to get a mild 'like' from me. I don't know if it's strong enough to vote for, but I certainly will consider it.
How is she supposed to lead others and develop grand plans with Intelligence and Charisma both at 10? Also, she doesn't have Leadership, Diplomacy, Bluff, or Intimidate, all of which a meglomaniacal leader with delusions of grandeur would need. I don't see any connection whatsoever between her stats and her stated goals/characterization.
While it has a few issues, I find them fairly minor compared with the outright fun a DM could have with this guy. I want him to hunt my Kingmaker PCs as they explore the wild frontier.
Hello, former competitor! I'm glad to be able to speak freely now that I've been eliminated. You're at a bit of a disadvantage, having been the clear favorite in Round 2. This means that expectations are quite high for your work. I like this guy, actually. I like that you include ways for him to be a villain for several different types of parties of various alignments and motivations. I would've liked to see a hook about him reaching outside Gen in his crusade, such as kidnapping a LG McGuffin to sacrifice to his demon buddies for more power. But, I can see him doing this without hesitation, so the implication might be enough. My first thought is a thumbs up, but I went to read your entry first and have nothing to compare it to. I'll be back after reading everyone's entry.
I made a Round 3 villain in the off-off-off-chance that I would make it. It was actually pretty fun. I'll post the villain here, just as I would have turned it in.
I disagree, sir. Luck had little to do with our failure to advance, nor with your ability to. This is a skill-based contest and some of us came up short. Fortunately, skills can be built on and we might get another chance next year. I, for one, hope that they do archetypes again next year. I also hope that I get a chance to redeem myself by making an archetype that isn't ridiculously overpowered while maintaining the spark of a cool idea.
Well, I'm sad to not advance but not surprised. My entry was flawed and I have no one to blame for that but myself.
While I'm not remarkably hopeful to pass to Round 3, I've enjoyed crafting this particular villain.
While I strongly doubt that I will advance, I am glad for the opportunity to explain things. I was disappointed to read the judges' comments, but immediately understood where they were coming from. It seemed perfectly obvious in retrospect. I started my archetype as a cavalier that had a sworn defense instead of challenge. I couldn't get the feeling of it right, though, and changed it to barbarian late in the design process. The overall goal was to create an unusual defensive archetype that was different than the usual tank-style. I set a few goals before starting.
The idea behind making its protection to allies so powerful was that it loses 100% of his own defensive abilities while simultaneously encouraging opponents to target him instead of the others, sort of like a funnel. I wanted to make the choice to attack the ally belong to the opponent, though. I was worried that making the abilities too weak would do nothing to discourage the opponent, but I did go too far in the opposite direction. The general notion behind the power level was that the abilities would largely not come into play, while the barbarian's allies would have to stay close and give up things like flanking with him while raising vulnerability to AOE. Frenzied Protectiveness: This was the last ability added. The original intent was to make it a free round of rage in the next round, but I couldn't find a good way to phrase that in the short time I had left. I changed it to the simpler wording but didn't consider the implications well enough. I justified it in my head by saying, "Well, the idea is that the enemies will attack him far more often and won't attack his allies often at all, so it's not prone to abuse."
I feel the main flaw was the inclusion of Imposing Presence and Tempest of Steel. Both took up a lot of word space and added too much for too little. They are not closely tied enough to the theme and don't make a ton of intuitive sense. The numbers for the other abilities ought to be toned down and made less crazy. Below is what I should have submitted: a toned-down version (though it still needs playtesting to determine if it is too powerful) with fewer and more focused abilities. Revised Archetype, 445 words: Frenzied Protector (Barbarian) To the savage warrior, there is nothing more primal than the bond between those who battle together. Some barbarians channel their furious attacks into a storm of strikes that allies can take refuge in, funneling attacks into the center of the tempest. A frenzied protector has the following class features. Rage (Ex): This functions as the barbarian ability, but a frenzied protector's morale bonus to Strength while raging is reduced by 2 and morale bonus to Constitution while raging is increased by 2. Fierce Protectiveness (Ex): A frenzied protector's primal instincts are brought to the surface when her allies are in danger. Whenever an enemy successfully hits any ally adjacent to a frenzied protector with a melee attack, the frenzied protector can rage the next round without expending one of her rounds that she can rage that day. This ability replaces fast movement and trap sense. Furious Maelstrom (Ex): At 2nd level, a frenzied protector’s swings are so frenetic that attackers can barely get their own in. Whenever a frenzied protector makes a full attack and successfully hits an enemy with a melee attack, she may cause the enemy to treat her adjacent allies as if they had concealment when attacking as a swift action. This effect lasts until the beginning of the frenzied protector's next turn and ends if she is unable to take actions. This ability replaces uncanny dodge and improved uncanny dodge. Swordwall (Ex): At 7th level, a frenzied protector's attacks cause enemies to falter in their own. Whenever a frenzied protector makes a full attack and successfully hits an enemy with two or more melee attacks, she may cause that enemy to treat her adjacent allies as if they had DR 1/- when attacking as a swift action. This effect lasts until the beginning of the frenzied protector's next turn and ends if she is unable to take actions. At 10th level, and every three levels after, this DR/- increases by 1. This ability replaces damage reduction and indomitable will. Eye of the Steel Storm (Ex): At 17th level, whenever a frenzied protector makes a full attack and successfully hits an enemy with three or more melee attacks, she may grant total cover from that enemy to all adjacent allies as an swift action. This effect lasts until the beginning of the frenzied protector's next turn and ends if she is unable to take actions. Whenever the frenzied protector uses this ability, she subtracts 2 from the total number of rounds she can rage that day. The frenzied protector cannot use this ability if she has less than 2 remaining rounds she can rage that day. This ability replaces tireless rage.
I doubt that I will advance, but I enjoyed making the villain. I will definitely use him eventually.
I'm doing a bit of procrastination at the moment. I'm trying to finish my first draft of this paper so I can focus on the revelations tomorrow.
Boy, how I wish I'd worked out more than a brainstorm outline on the side of my desk. Fortunately, the three day deadline coincides exactly with my weekend. Except to head off to the first days of my new classes, I'll be working on the archetype nonstop.
I was pretty surprised. Now I'm proud, then anxious to work on Round 2, which I had barely decided what to make.
Alchemist's Viper. |