Impactful post with all the subtlety (or lack thereof) of a steam-hammer.
[possibly (?) biting satire]
I would like to thank Paizo on behalf of we flame trolls everywhere, for creating a new safe haven for us to frolic and chew the heads off of other posters in. The permitted proliferation of 'Evil' threads creates ideal habitats for us, and I would hope that we will be encouraged to spread uncontested into other threads on the boards from the forward operating base we have now established.
Roll on the flame-wars! Power to the trolls!
[/possibly (?) biting satire]
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1 person marked this as a favorite.
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<Toasts marshmallows>
<Waits to see if Sebastian arrives in time to bring the house down for the grand finale>
Bruunwald wrote: I don't see anything provocative at all about the OP's original question. Simply put, it read as this:
Why not just take what you want from the books and leave what you don't like for people who do like it?
Though it is fun to argue sometimes, the question is not only valid, but a reminder that there are more important things, and we ought not let a rule in an RPG we might happen to disagree with, and the angry comments of somebody who does agree with it, make us into jerks.
And no, the idea is not "flawed" just because there is tournament play. It may be that a certain rule must apply for tournaments per the publisher. But that is no case for me having to use something I don't like in my game at home. Thus, the argument may be conditional. But it is not flawed, since Paizo cannot force me into organized play.
This post was censored by Ask A Succubus Censor.
Saruman the Wise wrote: Frying pan response.
Huh???
Post grumbling about other aliases these days, having no respect for their betters, stealing their thunder.
Post pointing out that hang on, isn't there supposed to be at least one forum game thread suited to some of this recent posting activity?
<post to assert the stake of all flame trolls in matters cheesecake and to shamelessly grab the first post of page 11>
[deranged conspiracy troll post]
You lost because you weren't one of the judges' favourite 36 items this year, pure and simple. Rawr!
The only important guideline, #27, they gave, they tricked you by putting it in last place. Rawr, Rawr, Rawr!
If the judges weren't out to get people who don't know their secret illuminati handshake, they would have put that guideline first and foremost, saying 'this is the important one, everything which comes first is subsidiary to it'. But they didn't, which proves that they are unscrupulous b@$t@rd$, out to top everyone that didn't pay $$$$ to their secret slush fund to get a nod and a wink to how to enter. Furthermore, if you analyse the last letters of each sentence of twenty-six of the judges' favourite 36 entries you will find that they conform to a series of templates laid out in a secret document issued to those prepared to pay $$$$$$$ for the privilege of 'special consideration'. This was a clever means of the judges being able to pretend that entries were anonymous to the Cathargian magi looking over their shoulders all the time, whilst in fact still being able to discover who had paid the extra bribes to make sure that they got their items in.
Nine of the other items got into the top thirty six, because there weren't nine more people prepared to pay $$$$$$$ to be guaranteed a favourite thirty six ranking.
The tenth other item isn't a real item at all. It's a coded message from Clinton Boomer's little sister who works at the Coliseum Morpheuon to Osama bin Laden who is in fact a CIA agent working for an ex-communist mad albino monk in the employ of an ostensibly Christian Organisation that wants to preserve the bloodline of the last of the Greek gods from being captured by fungi from the planet Yuggoth. The mi-go appear to be in league with the daleks from Skaro, in the last time-war against Elvis and Lord Lucan, but the daleks are planning to double-cross the mi-go and sell out to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, whilst the mi-go are in fact planning to overthrow Cthulhu in favour of liberating his daughter via an escape hatch in the Bermuda triangle and are using the daleks as expendable patsies to distract the Vogons. What neither the mi-go nor the daleks realise is that their strings are being pulled by a pair of cross-trading Arcanaloths based in the City of Doors for whom this is in fact merely the latest skirmish in an aeons old rivalry.
Meanwhile, the last descendant of Athena has joined a coven of witches that secretly run congress in the mistaken belief that her powers are of supernatural, not divine origin. The witches are in league with an organization of arms-companies, headed by Veddic, who are selling weapons to both sides in what they expect to be the forthcoming mi-go dalek conflict. The arms companies think that Veddic is in it purely for the money, not realising that Veddic is in fact using the layers of intrigue to distract the Decemvirate so that they don't interfere with his next shipment of sun-orchid elixir from Thuvia. Of course Veddic doesn't know that his organization has been thoroughly infiltrated by agents of Mengkare, who intend to escalate the mi-go dalek conflict when it breaks out to act as a distraction so that they can snatch Athena's last descendant and take her to Hermea for their master's personal attention in his breeding program. Mengkare needs Athena's last descendant because his conflict with Captain Olaf is intensifying, as the goldfish has discovered an organization of Chinese dragons disguised as goldfish to hide from a megalomaniacal media tycoon who are prepared to assist him in his struggle on general principle.
And what almost nobody else has realised is that James Bond arrived in the middle of Andoran last week in pursuit of a villain with a sinister cat, and bugged a meeting between agents of Razmir and a Druman merchant to fix a racing event in Qadira. James Bond has been adapting to the local circumstances with his usual speed and aplomb, and has already blown up three depots of alchemical hardware scheduled for delivery to various rebel groups in Galt, Cheliax, and Lastwall, and has captured an experimental flying carpet with twin staves of power and ring of featherfall mounted with which he intends to launch a raid on Katapesh with the assistance of a succubus he has seduced and redeemed. The contents of the three arms depots and the carpet were of course being shipped by Veddic, and the Druman and Razmiran delegation are unhappy with the loss of their gear and are planning to ask Veddic for a refund, threatening to destabilise Veddic's schemes.
And meanwhile, somewhere in a crystal castle of unmistakeably Thassilonian architecture on an island bordering the Varisian Gulf, a group of women are meeting for tea and scones and laughing...
Sorry. If Clinton Boomer's little sister hadn't really needed to send that coded message, your item might have made it into thirty sixth place in the judges' lists of favourites, but given the intergalactic situation, they simply couldn't afford to make any token gestures this year by letting in someone who hadn't paid bribes up front... RAWR!!!!
Oh, PS. JFK did organise the assassination of Abraham Lincoln from the deck of the Marie Celeste, which is why a Men in Black agent with a remote teleportation device faked JFK's own 'assassination' with the assistance of a cloned body double and a Classy Gnoll. That was incidental to the time-wars though, and Rassilon was behind it. Rassilon is in fact abroad on Earth today, disguised as Timothy Dalton, and is Mark Moreland's true paymaster - hence the whole Paizo wikipedia trouble which went on a few months ago. But since Rassilon is on an FBI watch-list he keeps his head down in this decade, and didn't really influence the success or failure of your item at all.
[/deranged conspiracy troll post]
This post was brought to you courtesy of Ask A RPGSupersuccubus' Silver Cage Productions...
Mairkurion {tm} wrote: Was the thread deleted? (Edited, corrected)
Smurrrrrf?
A Flaming Angry Fan Mob wrote: HAY HAY! HO HO! FREE FORM DISCRIMINATION'S GOT TO GO!
HAY HAY! HO HO! FREE FORM DISCRIMINATION'S GOT TO GO!
HAY HAY! HO HO! FREE FORM DISCRIMINATION'S GOT TO GO!
HAY HAY! HO HO! FREE FORM DISCRIMINATION'S GOT TO GO!
HAY HAY! HO HO! FREE FORM DISCRIMINATION'S GOT TO GO!
[joke] Rawr!
The flame troll of doom feeds on the power of the angry mob, and channels and unleashes the wave of hatred and negativity in an outpouring which threatens to reduce his hated foe, Emperor7, to ash....
[/joke]
Sebastian wrote:
Okay, I have to admit, I was wrong about Hasbro not being an evil corporation run by the most vile criminals known to man. This recently posted expose on a trustworthy news site has confirmed all the negative things ever said about the company.
Hasbro News Story
Rawr!
<Stomps through thread, enjoying the flames>
RAWR!
Fire? RAWR! Flame-troll alias on standby for summoning.
bugleyman wrote: Is it dead yet, or still twitching?
And...smurf.
RAWR!!!!! (smurf)
Next time, you willll serfffff... the Flame Troll's last words trail off into nothingness.
The flame troll continues to laugh, though caught in the grip of Lynora-Jill magic, spewing soot and smoke and cinders over her, every time she tries to tighten the grip and diminish it. Lynora-Jill has a sense of something overwhelmingly evil trying to probe her mind every time she strikes at the Flame Troll, but her defenses continue to hold.
The laugh is like a blast-furnace.
That's right, rub me all over yourself now, like soot. You're not a mortal any longer. I don't need to be gentle with you anymore.
Ever since the Goddess of Dangerous Knowledge learned a little more than was good for her, you've been marked for our service.
It's only a herald, so Lynora-Jill can sort of interact with it (and probably vanquish it), but in deific circles only a couple of very Lawful Good dwarven deities have any power against its masters. And right now it wants to interact and leave marks all over Lynora-Jill, to make it easier for its masters to try to use her.
There is a smell of smoke - the snap and crackle of burning wood, and the fear and roar of ever-burning, ever-hungry flame in the place where Lynora-Jill is. In this plane of spirits and visions the World Ash chars and falls all around in embers, and in the swirling cinders a spiritual form so much greater in power and malevolance than in the puny little physical form trapped and exiled on the drifting asteroid takes shape.
It is the Flame Troll, herald of the sixth of the Eldest Elemental Evils, and its eyes like burning lanterns ravenously fix upon Lynora-Jill.
Callous Jack wrote: Sebastian wrote: Self-righeous post decrying brewing flame war made in hopes that no one will realize prior post participating in flame war was under an alias and part of a series of off the cuff ad hominem attacks. Snarky statement saying both posters should go back to the Gaming Den. Post stating that being dimensionally transcendant many Gaming Den denizens are capable of existing on multiple messageboards simultaneously, but that the quoted poster has clearly forgotten this after spending too much time away and needs to come back to the Den.
Post also critiques the pony on the spelling of 'righteous', analysing the rare dialect which it indicates that the poster was using, and mathematically proving that the pony did not make a spelling error or typing mistake, but was demonstrating wit (in a pun based on three different languages of the ancient world) so dazzling as to blind most posters.
After a rare moment of lucid posting from the poster, the poster relapses to type and finishes with a RAWR!!!!
Zoidberg, M.D. wrote: Dimissive post regarding flame war including a large number of "facts" that are really poster's opinions disguised as such. Lots of historical data and large words included to show that poster is Very Smart. RAWR!!!!!
Pax Veritas wrote: ...etc, etc RAWWWWR!!!
Scott Betts wrote: ...etc, etc RAWWWWR!!!
<hefts volcanic hammer>
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
And I had hoped I would never have occasion to use this alias outside of the OTD forums.... :(
For a moment, flames flickered in the air, catching shards of the Hangman's Tree and turning them to puffs of ash and smoke, but they failed to take hold on anything else and the possible planar breech subsided.
The Flame Troll sinks back into quiesence...
The Emperor senses that, far away on the distant asteroid where he had gone dormant, the fresh battle at the site were he last fought threatens to stir the exiled Flame Troll...
The flame-troll is pretty much ignoring Malice Jack's attacks too.
No power of this world which you belong to hurt me much. I creature of other worlds.
Lie still, stupid bear!
The flame-troll's injuries close up once more.
You not pretty lady with the ancient light. You not hurt me like that.
Candle Lighter wrote: Suddenly, Candle Lighter appears, right next to the Tsar. He smiles.
"Miss me?"
MASTER!
The Flame Troll gets up again.
Look! I got bear and jack here. If I can just make them lie still, I drag them back home to the Abyss to eat.
I been cursed by Abyssal Lords and GODS, tree-bear thing. Your curses just tickle.
The flame-troll closes with the Emperor.
Whilst it is soon clear that the emperor is bigger than the flame-troll, and he swats it into the ground several times, the flame troll just gets up again, and the outerplanar flames of his aura soon begin to wear through the emperor's protections.
The fog blows away, in the flame of the Steel Tsar's cannon, and the flame troll is revealed standing only feet away from the emperor, maul raised.
Edit:
That right, tree-thing. Empty, and HUNGRY.
The elder flames with which the flame troll burns reduce the ice paraelementals to clouds of steam, as they lay fists on it. From somewhere within the scalding fog floud that surrounds that part of the field, the emperor can hear the flame troll taunting him.
Funny tree. Ice things only tickle. I coming for you, to burn you, and burn you good.
The flame troll swings the maul and smashes the sapling out of the way, to lie crumpled and blackened a short way off. It is not clear if she yet lives.
You send your saplings to fight me, instead of confront me yourself? You Scared? Because GOOD, you should be.
YES! DIE! All Enemies of Lord Candlelighter shall die!
The horrible monster smashes aside the last defender, and stands face to face with the Emperor.
RAWR!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a vaguely humanoid figure at least nine feet tall appears. It bears some resemblance to a troll, but whereas a troll tends to be wiry, this thing ripples with muscles. It has an enormous maul clutched in its hands, and is surrounded by a shroud of flame.
Kill the enemy of the Candle Lighter!
It starts to smash its way towards the treant and his allies.
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