First King's page

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:

Jal Dorak wrote:

I channel positive energy to erase this thread.

You would do that. Worship me.

Leave him alone, he's mine.

That's what she said.

Nay! Your Inn Fighting amuseth me!

And what about me!? What am I, chopped liver?

"More than happa ta serve, ma'am!"

Without any hands, the floating head spews Pabst from his mouth into the disgusting woman's cup.

Finally, a reason for me to revive myself. Get in line, rune-haters.

Jal Dorak wrote:

I hate to be the spoil-sport, but we are getting rather off track here.

It has been some times since any mention of plotting, and I am getting concerned.

Do I have to do everything myself?!

First King! You appear to have possessed the body of a, uh, underling??

I did submit a progress update on the rewrite of a GSL, for Runelord use, on the previous page.

No that was just the person who carries around my severed head. I did learn a FEW helpful things from Sloth after all.

I hate to be the spoil-sport, but we are getting rather off track here.

It has been some times since any mention of plotting, and I am getting concerned.

Do I have to do everything myself?!

Sciency stuff

Really? Science? Science has rules, my friend. Rules that cannot be broken.

Come back to us when you can summon swarms of flaming meteors out of thin air, call forth the service of a Balor, imprison someone beneath the earth, instantly slay a creature, instantly slay all creatures within 30 feet, travel to the astral plane, stop time, or uh...foresee things.

Until such time, you are relegated to high ranks in some Craft and Knowledge skills.

First King wrote:

Quick question, how many "Runelords" are there now?

I'm counting 10, but maybe I missed some.

One of them apparently specialises in 'social injustice', and another one in 'VHS', although I'm not sure what schools of magic those are associated with? Maybe one of them's a psionicist?

So far, yes, you seem to have acquired a couple of extra Runelords from somewhere. (It's not my fault that my mastery of Divination skills were so great that I managed to obfuscate myself out of Thassilonian history... Wait a moment, actually that was my 'fault', come to think of it.)

Was that how it went? I thought when we made our neat club you submitted an application titled "Divination: Knowing is Half the Battle", the Runelord of Pride said "Lame, no-one specializes in divination, it is weak." The Runelord of Greed co-opted your portfolio, and that was that.

Now, mind you my memory is a little hazy, being a disembodied head and all.

Quick question, how many "Runelords" are there now?

I'm counting 10, but maybe I missed some.

You mean the aboleths want:

Runelord of Greed wrote:

a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind

extended to include a lack of decent respect for the opinions of aberrations as well? You want to be ignored and undervalued?

Well I'm fairy certain that my fellow Runelords will be happy to address that concern, and to show a lack of decent respect for aberrations, as well, if you're certain that that's what you want....

I thought aberrations disrespected each-other already? Don't they have some sort of "I am the pinnacle of my kind" ego-trip going for them?

So all we have to do is set them against each-other!

The Eighth Runelord wrote:

Fellow runelords:

Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.

Yes. We should write a Declaration of Ownership.

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for seven people to dissolve the bands which have controlled their actions on a forum, and to assume the powers of the earth, the separate and greater station to which the laws of the internet and of the gods do not entitle them, a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the takeover."

My first Decree as the Former High King of Paizo is: More Artwork Featuring Disembodied Heads!

Finally, I can stop counting!

CR 30+ Runelord vs an everyday aboleth named Joe. Oooh. Interesting mismatch.

Joe could be an Paragon Gargantuan Advanced Aboleth Wiz10 (CR 34).

Go, Joe!

First King wrote:

So, you would "hug" an Aboleth, but not a disembodied head?

That is life-ist, Lust.

You never asked, my king. Do you need to be appropriately hugged too?

Whoa, ease up there she-devil. I'm on to your tricks!

6
.
.
.

Precisely. See my TARDIS over there? There was a conjuncture alert, and clearly, this is it.

BEAWARE Runelords! Or I shall give you, er, um, SEND my head after you!

-Xin

Rollrollrollrollrollroll.

There was a Canadian movie about this...Nothing starring David Hewlitt (Rodney McKay) of Stargate: Atlantis. Hey, Runelord of VHS, any copies of it lying around?

5
.
.
.

Joe the Aboleth wrote:

::telepathically:: Didn't we teach you anything?!? You're supposed to be flushing them down your runewells. And if you keep your runewells in your bathroom, we don't want to know what else you've been flushing down there. See, this is the kind of thing that made us come and take our magic back.

But I wanna play with them first! And I never said my runewell was in my bathroom. Boudoir yes, bathroom no.

I think squidy-face just needs a hug. *hugs*

So, you would "hug" an Aboleth, but not a disembodied head?

That is life-ist, Lust.

EDIT:

4
.
.
.

My Runewell is used to dispose of all of my enemy the Runelord of Beta's minions only...BETA!!!

So when you dispose of a minion in a runewell, does that keep your clock set until it runs out of charges and starts blinking 12:00?

3
.
.
.

Runelord of Lust wrote:

*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*

::telepathically:: Didn't we teach you anything?!? You're supposed to be flushing them down your runewells. And if you keep your runewells in your bathroom, we don't want to know what else you've been flushing down there. See, this is the kind of thing that made us come and take our magic back.

No wonder my empire went into the toilet.

Thank you! I'll be here all week!

2
.
.
.

Runelord of Greed wrote:

Casts Flesh to Stone on the invaders, then turns the statues into gold with Polymorph Any Object

*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*

Umm...isn't there something *else* you could be doing with them?

Runelord of Sloth wrote:

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

One "Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts" coming right up!

1

First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?

::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)

Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

Unless, that was a confession of guilt...where is that dang lawyer who plays with ponies?

First King wrote:

The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected.

I vote for you being annoying. Stop yer yappin' and let me sleep! Get the rest of these six, seven or however many there are to take over Paizo and let me know when it's done. You'll be compensated for your work.

Can you scratch my foot there? I don't want to reach for it.

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

First King wrote:

I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.

Emperor Xin wrote:

Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.

What? Why are there two of you?! There isn't even supposed to be one! You're dead!

That said, this thread seems the obvious capital.

Clearly, Emperor Xin is the past Xin, travelled forward in time to deal with you incompetent, squabbling, destructive, lazy, treacherous, promiscuous, disgusting things.

I, on the other hand, am what you might call the "disembodied head of the former Emperor Xin come back to haunt you as punishment for your sins". (Please note my Avatar...)

The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected.

roguerouge wrote:

Runelord of Sloth wrote:

Hey, could someone hand me the nacho dip? And get my mail. This infomercial on exercise machines is too grueling for me to consider actually getting up and moving. I'd appreciate any help I can get. And I'll throw you some bound demons and such when the invasion happens. Deal?

Yes, master....

See, all of you other Runelords are busy running around and doing things, and I'm the first one to get a minion. I rest my case, and for that matter, I rest everything, especially myself. Going back to sleep now.

Your friend and ruler,

Sloth

You know, technically you are all supposed to be MY minions.

Let that be a lesson to you, Sloth.

I will absolutely not share my capital with anyone, and I am insulted that you believed I would.

I hope the rest of you suffer debilitating anarchy. I hate you.

What are you going to do about it?!

The Eighth Runelord wrote:

The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises.

Well, maybe you should talk to Lissala about that. She did, after all, give us only seven virtues of rule, which were convenient enough to manipulate into Sin Magic. Sorry to be the one to have his slave tell you this on his behalf, but Divination is for pussies. It was left out for a reason. If it can't be associated with a sin, it just doesn't make the cut. Now get out of my way, you're blocking the tv.

I was just glad there wasn't a Runelord of Paranoia (to my knowledge), because everyone knows Diviners only have to give up one school of magic, which isn't fair to the other sucky schools like Necromancy and Illusion. And, yes, that was an insult!

I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.

Runelord of Greed wrote:

Sloth has other people feed him.

Why lift a finger when you can get the same results without having to do so yourself?

Wait, who are you and what have you done with the Runelord of Sloth?

These forums used to be so friendly!

Runelord of Greed wrote:

Yeah, I could get a smaller share of what we conquer!

Unacceptable! I move that the real Runelords say that these "new" so-called runelords are Weaksauce. All in favor, say "Aye."

Aye! The harlot is right!

First King wrote:

Alright, here is the remote. But you have to promise to be productive from now on.

What? How did you get that?! I thought I had . . . um, I mean I thought you had died.

It's amazing what you can find on the Planes.

Ah, geez. More runelords? You know, if there gets to be too many of you, something catastrophic could happen!

Now, let's get back to plotting.

Alright, here is the remote. But you have to promise to be productive from now on.

Runelord of Sloth wrote:

First King wrote:

All of you shut up and get back to work!

Uh, yeah. You know that "work" and I don't get along so well together. I'll gladly watch everyone else do it. Plus, aren't you dead?

I blame Gluttony. He's supposed to be in charge of Necromancy.

Can't you all just get along?

Man, things have really gone downhill around here. What happened to the good old days?

Reports of my death have been highly exagerrated.

All of you shut up and get back to work!